Congratulations
by retroninjachick
Summary: Bella and Edward were once best friends, until Bella fell for him, only to run away after his wedding. It's been three years and they meet again. What exactly will go down when Edward realizes he might have made a mistake? Is it too late? E/B, AH complete
1. Congratulations

**Ok, so for my class we had to write an essay, about a picture, whatever it inspired you. I picked a beach, because it was just beautiful, and it reminded me of pain in a way. That's when I thought of this. I had originally planned on using my other story about a girl who is going to think about her sister with cancer and all that, but then I was inspired by a fanfic story and used this one. The names in my essay are different, but for here on fanfic, I'm going to use the real names of the characters. It's just that if I turned it in to the class my teacher will be like "wtf? Twilight?" so yea...ok enjoy. **

**Tell me if it's good, and if I should send it into the class, or if I should use my other essay. PLEASE! My grade depends on it! lol.**

**A/N: 8/31/08 UPDATE: Well, I did turn it in, and I all this girls in my class, and this one kid wanted to cry, and they all loved it, and I, "captured the attention and hearts of many" so it was good. Um, I started writing it over, so it will no longer be a one shot...but there won't be many chapters because my chapters are like, 20 something pages long, so it will be like four chapters in one, does that make sense? Anyway, right now it's more of a side project. enjoy. :)**

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The air was salty, but what do you expect from the beach? The wind was just right as it hit the beautiful white tail of Alex's wedding dress. Her golden skin was in perfect contrast with the clean white of her dress. Her skin was absolutely beautiful compared to my milky pale one. Her blonde hair was in perfect curls, framing the face of my best friend's new wife. I sat still in my seat, trying to not cry. It was the most difficult thing I've had to do. I wanted to scream, to move, but I couldn't. It was simply impossible.

The thing was though that I didn't want to move. If I did it would only ruin his wedding. I didn't want to do that. I would never ruin his wedding. It was something I'd have to sit through. I pursed my lips as Alex repeated her part of the vows. Edward's eyes sparkled at the promises she was currently making. His eyes were full of love, love that I wanted to belong to me, not her. It was no lie that I was envious.

In fact I was angry, and depressed. All this time I had always loved Edward. I know, it was typical to fall for my best friend, but I couldn't help it. I had always dreamed of him looking at me that way. Of him looking at me like if I was the most important person in the world. I had always wanted him to say 'I love you' without thinking of me as his friend. It was impossible though. A dream that was too absurd for my own good.

My heart had always belonged to him, I had always loved him, and always will, but as he repeated the vows himself to Alex, I couldn't help but bite my lip. It was as if hope was being crushed slowly in me. There was no way for me to tell him now. It was sealed with a kiss; a kiss from him to her, which I now had to sit through and watch. I had to watch as his fingers tangled in her hair, making my own fingers twitch as I dug my nails into my skin.

I literally felt like if my heart was dropping to the floor. I felt as if life was over itself. I had to bite furiously on my lip, holding back the tears which only hurt my throat more. I blinked a couple times, hoping that the tears would stay in place, but my vision only became less clear. I sighed, as they finally pulled apart, and people started standing to cheer. He was walking with her down the clear sand, and my heart was thudding, the adrenaline washing over me like a wave crashing to the shore, which is exactly what was happening in the background.

I for once, wished I could sleep. All the memories of his smiles as he looked at me, the laughs we shared, Friday movie nights, and the partner costumes for Halloween, the serious moments when he helped me out, it all washed through my eyes. I had to watch him as he walked holding her hand down to the end. I couldn't hold it then as he whispered "I love you" in her ear. I let the one tear slip down my cheek, trying quickly to catch it. Edward didn't miss it though; he looked at me for a brief second, the hurt clear in his eyes. I tried to smile as best as I could, as my lips quivered. I felt the tears spill a little bit more, and I clapped slowly, trying to act as if they were tears of joy. Edward knew better than that. He smiled back slightly, and turned to look at his new wife.

I felt the pain go over me, but I was used to it by now. Ever since he and Alex started dating, the pain in my heart was inevitable, and I got accustomed to it. I learned to hide it. When he would miss our movie nights, to go out on real dates with her, I cried and cried at home, letting the anguish drown me. Those were the only times that I let myself show pain. I should have known that those movies where the best friends always end up together were just a big ball of bacon.

I sighed as everyone exited to follow after the new groom and bride. I stayed put, watching them as they walked away. I knew that I wouldn't be able to stay here for long, and watch as they built their own lives, and had children….happily. It was just too much for my poor heart. I needed to start over, try to get over everything. I needed to move on.

I took a deep breath as I removed the 3 inch heels that Alice forced me to wear. She knew that I would eventually fall, especially in the sand, but she forced me in them anyway. I took a deep breath as I let my feet dig into the soft white sand under me; the grains playing between my toes. I walked towards the shore, setting myself down right where my feet could reach the water.

I remember the day that Edward told me he was going to ask Alex to marry him. I had been packing my bags to go visit my mom, when he appeared at my apartment. At first I had been so happy to see him, just the feeling as my heart sped up, and my cheeks grew hot, it was all an amazing sensation. I had hugged him fiercely, thinking he was there to say goodbye to me, but I was wrong.

"I love her." He whispered in my ear, as I held him. My arms had immediately dropped to my side, as I took a step back. My heart had completely stopped, and there was no sound in the room besides my ragged breathing.

"What?" I whispered back. I didn't know what to believe, but I had hoped it was some joke, or that I had misunderstood.

"I love her, I want to marry her." He said. His hair was disheveled, and he had that crazy look in his eye, the one he usually had when he's been over thinking. I didn't know what to think, my arms had turned to jelly, and my eyes were watering. I was desperate. I was praying, and secretly screaming at myself inside. They had lasted for quite a while, but I had been hoping all along that it was just another phase. Again, I was proven wrong.

"You can't!" I had screamed immediately. My tears were spilling already, my heart speeding up, and my knees buckling. I felt so broken, and vulnerable. Edward stepped back, looking at me cautiously. I could see the confusion in his eyes.

"Why?" He asked. I didn't know what to say to him at the time, and I didn't know what to do. I was feeling the rejection, and loosing the hope quickly, so desperately, I confessed. I had told him every little thought I ever had. I had expressed myself, and cried. I had eventually fallen to the floor; I was too weak to even stand. All the while he just stood there, looking at me. I couldn't even read the expression, or even see his face through the tears. He didn't speak, or touch me, or even try to help me. All he did, after I poured my heart out to him, was say, "I'm sorry." Then he walked out the door.

Things were never the same after that. They were too different, and Alex practically took my place in both his heart and in his parent's heart. It's almost like if I was holding that place for her. They took her in like a daughter, just like they _used_ to do to me. I had cried myself to sleep that night and pretty much every night. My usually crowded mind was empty just like my heart. All I could think about was the loss and pain.

I sighed as I shook my head, it was silly, like if I was trying to shake away the bad memories. The sad part was that the hole in my chest would never be closed. It never could be closed. The pain that I felt would always be there, and now as he celebrated his wedding day, I left to California, to start over.

I passed my fingertips over the bit of salt water that had escaped my eye. I knew it was wrong, and selfish to be leaving his wedding, after all I was his best friend. But that title didn't feel like it belonged to me anymore, I had been replaced. I guess that's why I decided to not stick around; maybe it was because I thought it was some form of revenge, for Edward leaving me at my most needed time. For letting me fall without catching me. At the same time I knew that he had someone new to catch, and it wasn't fair to me, because it came around without a warning.

I sighed as I lifted myself off the sand and walked out to the beach house. All our family and friends were there, congratulating the newly weds. I blinked and looked down at my feet as I tried to walk past the crowd. I wanted to go unnoticed, and I wanted to be forgotten, like an old tree in the middle of the park, left behind and used when needed.

As I made my way through the crowd, I felt the familiar warm hand as it wrapped around my wrist. I pursed my lips, as I turned around to face him. His eyes were pleading, and his hand was wrapped securely around mine. Guilt hit me like a slap when I realized what I was about to do to him. I was leaving without saying goodbye. I knew I needed to say something, anything. I needed to say I was happy for him, but I wasn't, and that was selfish. I swallowed, and whispered the only thing I could say at the moment,

"Congratulations."

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**What ya think?  
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	2. Move along

**It started out as an essay, and then it became a side project...don't know if I will continue it, but I had to put this up at least. :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight**

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"All flights to California…." The voice rang through the airport. I sighed as I picked my bag up, moving towards my new destination. I had changed right after the wedding and gone straight to the airport. There was no way in hell that I was going to stay at the wedding. As much as I loved Edward, I cared too much about my own sanity right now. I knew it would break, and the fact that I loved him, is the reason I decided not to stay. If I lost it at his wedding party, it would hurt him.

I picked up my pace walking slowly towards the line to board the plane. I took a deep breath, running my fingers through my hair. I had been able to take off my entire make up, but the curls were useless, so I had just put them into a high and messy bun. I looked like I just woke up or something, as I stood here with jeans and a huge college sweater on. I yawned, my eyes still hurting a bit from all the crying. I had cried on my way to my apartment, and cried even more when Alice tried to call me. I ended up turning my phone off.

As I remembered Alice's phone calls I decided to turn my phone on. Now that I was somewhat sane, maybe I should try and give her a proper goodbye. I sighed as I waited for my phone to finally turn on. As soon as the screen came to view, I could see the thirty missed calls I had. I took a deep breath before checking who the caller was, even though I had a good idea. As I flipped through the missed calls, a few names jumped at me.

Alice, Emmett, Esme, Rosalie, Jasper, Angie, Renee, even Charlie, but the name that made my heart pound heart in my chest was Edward's. It was there, at least five or six times. He had called. He called at least six times. I took a deep breath, trying to relax my muscles.

My heart quickened, and my breathing became shallower as I held my cell phone in my hand. Why on earth would he call me? The calls had been at least every hour or so, maybe even every half hour. I shook my head. I don't understand why he would call during his wedding. I thought he was having a good time. Maybe that's why he called me. Maybe he called me to tell me about Alex and how the wedding was going. That thought made my head spin even more. It wasn't really a matter of heart pain; it was more of my sanity that was slowly slipping away from me.

I felt as the tears were about to spill again, and the sudden urge to hide from the face of the earth returned to my mind. Why would Edward call me to tell me about his wedding? There were no more explanations. The only thing I could think of was that. I mean, why would he call me other than that? Sure maybe to see if I was ok….but at his own wedding? Did I really think that he would ignore his wedding duties just to check up on me so many times? No, I didn't. That's what hurt me the most.

I didn't have time to ponder these thoughts anymore, for my cell phone's screen popped up the one name that could break me at sight. Edward.

I took a deep breath as I pursed my lips. Should I answer? I wanted so badly to just drop it, but being the good person I was, I thought about how much it would hurt Edward to know that his best friend, not only did she leave, but on top of that, she doesn't even want to talk to him. It would hurt him at least a tiny bit, and I couldn't live with even the tiniest bit of pain from him. I finally opened my phone with a sigh.

"Hello?" I asked quietly into the phone. I could hear the conversation and music from the other end of the phone.

"Bella." His voice made me weak to my knees, the pace of my heart accelerating, and the chill down my spine repeating. I could feel the new sets of tears as I thought about how this would probably be the last time I heard his voice.

"Yes?" I asked just as quietly as before.

"Bella where are you?" He asked suddenly. I looked up to see that the line was moving, and I grabbed my bags, pushing them forward as I moved up.

"At the airport." I said with no emotion in my voice. I didn't really understand why he was asking me this. It was quite obvious why I was in the airport. Had I not told him about it? Of course I had. I had told everyone.

It was quiet for a few moments, almost like if there was nothing to say. I knew that I would most likely be crying when I was done with this conversation.

"Bella…." Edward finally whispered. I took a deep breath. I hated when he said my name like that….it always made my palms sweaty, and my knees shaky. No. I would get through this. He is married now.

"Yes?" I asked in a flat tone. I was going to tough it out from now on. Life is like this, and I had enough time to accept that long ago.

"Bella, why don't you come home?" He finally asked.

"Because Edward. I have to go." I stated, again in a flat tone. I could hear as the music and the sounds of conversation faded away, meaning he must have been leaving to a quieter place.

"Bella, you don't have to go." He said angrily now. I didn't understand what his problem was. He had Alex now. He and her were going to be happily together and forever so why on earth did he need me here? Did he want to see me suffer? That thought made my head and heart ache at the same time, and I could tell that my sanity was slowly loosing. It made me angry.

"Yes I do Edward." I said with a bit of an edge. He was already making me depressed there was no reason for me to be angry as well. Couldn't he just stop?

"Bella we all want you here, to celebrate with us….." He said pleadingly. I couldn't help but soften up my facial expression. I knew that they all wanted me there, but no one wanted me to celebrate because they all knew….they all knew the situation. I shook my head. I needed to spread my wings. I could deal with the pain later. Right now I just needed to be strong, and let go. I needed to make my final statement, something that could give him at least the slightest clue of exactly how I was feeling.

"Edward, I don't want to celebrate." I stated. It made my heart quicken again with nerves. I was a bit scared of his reaction.

"Bella why not?! I thought you were supposed to be my best friend! Aren't you supposed to be my friend? Aren't you supposed to be there for me? Why are you making me suffer? Why do you want to hurt me? Why ARE you hurting me? Why are you leaving me? Are you that upset that I love Alex and not you? You can't let me go that easily? Are you trying to move on or something? What kind of a friend or person are you?" He practically shouted into the phone, a bit hysterical. I shook my head, a small smile playing on my lips. It wasn't a happy smile though, it was a pitiful smile. The last bits of life I had in me slowly dimmed.

"I should be asking you the same questions." It was true, and as the small tears rushed down my cheeks, and the harsh pain took over my body, I realized that he practically stole the words right out of my mouth.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He said, truly hysterical now. "You know what Bella, never mind. You are the worst friend. You're leaving me, and you're hurting me, but you don't seem to care, because you're selfish. You are not a good person and I don't know why I even formed a friendship with you! This is exactly why I don't love you! In fact I hate you! I will NEVER love you!" He shouted. I let a sob escape my body as his words stung into my core. They were lies. They all were. Everything he was accusing me was what I should be shouting at him, but I didn't have the heart to, and that's what made me a good person.

"Goodbye Edward." Were the last words that I spoke to Edward Cullen.

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**Three years later**

"Derek!" I shouted, the excitement taking over me. I heard his soft chuckle from the stair way.

"I'm coming, I'm coming." He said with a light laugh. The smile on my lips grew as I took in his appearance. His tall body looked even more lanky and muscular than usual with the elbow length, long sleeved shirt he was wearing. His jeans made his legs look longer as well, and his perfect honey blonde hair was disheveled and covering his forehead as always. He had the different shades of blonde and some dark brown, sticking out, and his hazel eyes popped out with excitement just like me, as his beautiful smile grew more pronounced, showing his adorable dimples. I could never stop looking at his face. It was just so perfect in its own way. For example, he had a pretty long face, but his cheeks were full as soon as he smiled, making him look even more irresistible, and his cute little eyes were framed perfectly with thick eyelashes, and his thin lips just so….mmmm….

"Bella?" He chuckled as he slapped the railing of the staircase, trying to wake me up. I shook my head.

"Huh?" I asked, being pulled back to reality.

"You got some drool right there." He said pointing at the corner of my mouth as he reached the foot of the stairs. I felt my cheeks heat up immediately and I reached my hand instinctively to my mouth, but before it could reached, his hand stopped mine.

"No, let me do it…." He said in an alluring voice. I felt my eyes go wide, as I froze still. He leaned down his head, so that it could somewhat reach up to him, and I tilted my head upwards as he pressed his lips to the corner of my mouth, making his way slowly to mine.

I would never get used to this. The feeling of his lips on mine, and his breath lingering with mine, my fingers trailing to his soft blonde hair…..it was all too amazing. I reached up in my toes, trying to get to his height. He chuckled as he passed his tongue through my bottom lip, asking for entrance. I quickly granted it, eager for the kiss to deepen. Before I could get a real handful of his hair, he pulled away with a laugh.

"I think I got the drool already." He joked. I stared at him with my jaw hanging open. Stupid jerk.

"That was evil." I mumbled looking away from him. He shrugged.

"I am evil." He smirked. I scowled at him and grabbed my bags from the door step.

"Come on we have to go." I called over my shoulder as I opened the door.

"Right behind you babe." He said seductively, and I smiled at the word 'babe'. It was just something that I would also never get used to. He took the bags away from me with a smile.

"Don't use so much weight; I don't want Derek Jr. to come out a little too early." He winked as he bent down to give a quick kiss to my huge belly. I smiled as I ran my hand lovingly around my overgrown stomach. I remember when I found out I was pregnant. It was the most surprising news in my life, especially at the thought that me and Derek weren't even married yet.

Derek had proposed to me a couple days ago, it was really sweet. He didn't go all typical. Instead he proposed to me at the same place we met. The beach.

It had been one of _those_ days, the ones where my depression was just too much to handle. I had decided to try and go for a swim in the beach….while there was a storm. Derek was a life guard then and was on time to rescue me. He laughed when I told him that I wanted to die, but took me seriously, and kind of followed me since. He became a good friend of mine and helped me heal little by little at the wounds that I had come here with, but soon it grew into something more, and old feelings were buried, making new ones bloom.

We had gone out for a while, then a while turned into a year, and I had completely forgotten of any depression I had ever felt, because I fell in love. That's what brings us here today. At our three year anniversary, about six or seven months ago, we got a bit carried away. That is how little Derek was produced. Derek insists on calling him Derek Jr. but I know it's just a joke.

"Come on Bella, the car is waiting." He said as he took my hand carefully. He treated me like I was a piece of glass about to break…then again, that's how he found me.

I smiled and let him take my hand, walking me to the car. The excitement in me was taking over again. Why was I so excited? Because, today I got to go see Alice and Renee, Charlie, Esme, Emmett, Jasper, Rose, and Carlisle. Today I was finally going back to Forks!

I was going to go see everyone, and finally introduce Derek, and also show them my, _state._

No one had any idea that I was pregnant, or that I was engaged. They had an idea of who Derek was, but no specifics. For them to know Derek now, and for them to be able to see that I was pregnant, was truly something I wanted to witness. I wanted to see their reactions, and I wanted to see _them_ in general. I wanted to see how they were doing.

I wanted to see the smiles on their faces, and if they had any children of their own. I wanted to see them smile, and I wanted to make them smile myself.

I had of course thought about Edward and Alex, but really, I was finally over Edward, I mean I had Derek, and a child coming on its way. I was finally ok, and I was ready to face him.

I took a deep breath as Derek helped me wobble my way over to the car. My stomach was huge, and according to the doctors it would be a boy. I smiled to myself as I rested my hand on my belly. The thought of a child, after all the thoughts of my life ending, was just incredible. I was so happy with myself, and the fact that I would be able to raise a child with Derek.

"Ready babe?" He asked. He moved his fingers to the steering wheel, driving out of the parking lot. I nodded my head, the excitement burning inside me.

Everyone was in Forks. I had announced my visit, and they ended up there. Apparently Rose and Emmett were just on visit as well, and Alice had stayed in Forks with Jasper. Edward and Alex had moved to Seattle, and were dropping by, and Esme and Carlisle, stayed in their rainy home town. We were all taking a two week, mini vacation.

I smiled to myself as I watched the trees passing by as the road disappeared beneath us.

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I knocked with my fists ferociously on the big wooden door. I was currently standing in front of the Cullen's house. We had just arrived from the airport, and we pretty much raced over here. Derek has been trying to calm me down, saying how it's not good for the baby, and whatnot. I still can't contain my happiness. I knocked harder on the door, earning a chuckle from Derek. I turned around to glare at him.

"And just what is so funny mister?" I asked with the glare still plastered on my face. He laughed a bit louder this time, and I couldn't help but laugh too. I probably looked ridiculous and crazy, but the thought of my family being on the other side of the door was just too much.

In our little out burst, we missed the door swinging open, but I turned as I heard a loud shriek, and before I knew it Alice was throwing herself at me. I hugged her tiny body close to mine, well as much as I could with my belly.

Alice still looked the same, as short as ever, and slender. She had been my best friend besides Edward, and was the bubbliest person I have ever met. I had missed her so much, and the thoughts of leaving her made me almost guilty, but I knew that if I hadn't left, then I wouldn't be as happy as I am today.

"Bella!" She cried out. I could feel the tears that escaped her body one by one as they drenched my shoulder. I had decided today to wear a spaghetti strapped baby doll, it was blue silk and big enough to fit through my stomach. Now that I think about it, it was a bad idea seeing as how my shoulder is wet with tears.

I shook that thought out as the realization of reunion with Alice hit me. I hugged her back as tight as possible, letting a few tears escape me. I had missed her so much, and I loved her to death. Those three years of separation seemed silly as I held her close to me now.

"Bella," She breathed out. "There something in between us, I can't hug you right." Alice said, but refused to let me go. I chuckled.

"Yes Alice." I whispered.

"What is it?" She asked curiously, her head still buried in my shoulder. I let out a breath, it was now or never.

"Alice look," I whispered. She let her arms slowly fall from around me, as she took a small step back. I put my hands to my belly, caringly. Alice's facial expression was hard to read. Her lips were parted, and there were new pools of tears in her eyes, as they filled with emotion.

"Oh my god," She whispered. She blinked a couple times, as the new little tears started to poor. "Oh my god…Bella." She said softly again. "I'm going to be an aunty?" She whispered, joy pouring out of the words. I nodded cautiously, unsure of her next reaction. "Oh my god!" She said a bit lighter, as she sank down to the floor on her knees, pressing her ear to my belly. I chuckled and was a bit surprised by her reaction.

"Bella, who is the father?" She said never letting her ear off of my belly. "Why didn't you tell me? What is wrong with you?" She said now looking up at me, a bit of anger in her eyes, as she glared.

"Alice, it was something that was unexpected….I wanted it to be a surprise….besides, this is Derek, my fiancée." I said happily, as I remembered that he was still in the room. Derek stepped forward and wrapped his arm around my waist, holding me close to his body. He was wearing a triumphant smile at the fact that I had just called him my fiancée. I smiled at him, while he grinned back, showing me that dimpled smile. Alice rocked back on her heels.

"Whoa! Hey Bella you sure know how to pick them." Alice said while winking my way. I blushed but laughed nonetheless. The sound of my laugh as it bounced off the walls seemed to make Alice happy. She must have thought that I was still broken. The truth was, the words that Edward had said to me, would always hurt me, no matter what, but at the moment I was healed and happy.

"Bella, I think it's time to go meet everyone." Alice said with a sparkle in her eyes. I took a deep breath but nodded nonetheless. The excitement from earlier was just nerves now.

I grabbed Derek's hand as tightly as possible to mine, and he in return just rubbed soothing circle in the back of my hand. It worked a bit and I loosened my grip. We followed Alice back to the living room, where all of them were expected to be. We took step by step, and with every inch that we got closer I could feel my heart accelerate.

I wanted them to see me happy, and I wanted to see them happy. I wanted to rub it in Edward's face that I could heal, and that I didn't need him. I wanted Carlisle and Esme to be proud of me, and I wanted Emmett to take me in a bear hug.

Finally we made it to the living room where they were all sitting down, I couldn't really see them because I was behind the door, but Alice stepped forward clearing her throat. They all looked back at her.

"Guys, I think you should see this," She said as she grabbed my hand and pulled me towards her. I was in full view, as Derek leaned next to the door, still hidden, and watching me with loving eyes as my face glowed red.

The room was silent and I stared at all their faces, my arms eager to wrap themselves around every single one of them. Emmett was with Rosalie, and they looked the same. She was still gorgeous and Emmett was still huge. They both stared back at me, and then down at my stomach. Rosalie held the same expression that Alice did when she saw my belly, while Emmett looked at me with a huge grin on his face, as he looked at me. Esme had a motherly expression, and she was already crying as she held her hands to her mouth, to cover the gasp. Carlisle looked at me just like Esme, minus the gasp or the tears.

Jasper looked at me with a brotherly care just like Emmett. He had a knowing look on his face. Then there was Edward. He was sitting there, staring at me with a shocked and confused expression. His eyes were wide and calculating, while his lips parted slightly. He had that crazy look in his eye that I always remembered. He was in deep thought.

His hair was still bronze, and disheveled more than usual. His face had suddenly gone pale when I came into view. He looked the same as always, except that now his face was sharper, and more beautiful. Had he always been this gorgeous? I thought Derek was the most gorgeous man on the planet, but now looking at Edward, there was just no way for that to be. Had I really forgotten so much about him that I couldn't even recall his own beauty? My heart ached at the sight of him, my ex best friend.

As they all stood there sitting, Rose gasped, and that made me look down at my belly, placing my hands on them. It was just something that I was used to doing.

I just wanted to wrap my arms around every single one of them, my arms ached to touch them. But it was like if they could read my mind. In about three seconds, I was attacked by hugs.

Emmett was first, and I was surprised when he let a tear fall. He stopped hugging me when everyone started complaining, and saying I would hurt the 'baby'. Emmett didn't leave me without promising that he would be the best uncle ever. After that was Rose. Rose was very emotional, sobbing into my shoulder, as she held me close. Rose and I had gotten pretty close after a while but I never expected her to get so emotional like that with me.

"I'm so sorry. I know you were hurt, and I'm just so happy that you could come back so, so strong." She whispered. I nodded my head, letting a few tears escape myself. After her came Jasper, who pretty much did exactly what Emmett did, but without the crying.

The hug that affected me the most was Esme. She was so gentle, and would look down at my belly every few seconds, and she would give me little squeezes, like if she was trying not to hurt me.

"Esme it's ok….go ahead." I said pointing at my belly. She gave me a thankful smile as she got down on her knees, pressing her ear to my stomach. I could see as her tears fell down, and the smile spread on her lips. I couldn't help but grin myself, and rub the top of my belly, a habit that I had grown accustomed to. I watched as everyone's eyes watched me caringly, and cautiously. The shock was still written in them.

After Esme had her moment, Carlisle hugged me, and like any caring father would, he promised me he would check on the child. I had nodded in agreement. There was only one person left, but I didn't dare look up at them, even thought I didn't need to.

"Who's the father?" He finally asked. His voice made me weak at my knees. How could I have forgotten that velvet sound? His eyes were full of concern, and a hidden sadness, as shock still held his still posture. I pursed my lips remembering Derek. I turned my head to look in his direction. He was watching me, a small smile on his lips, and his eyes were soft. The look he gave me made me melt inwardly. I sighed in contentment as I smiled back at him, reaching my hand out towards him. He gladly took it and stepped into view, making everyone's already shocked face, even more shocked.

I held on tightly to Derek's hand. I had been quite scared for this moment. I knew that they would all be happy for me, that they could see how much I truly loved Derek, but did that mean they would approve? Of course the thought was silly, after all Derek was a very likeable guy.

Derek gave me a reassuring smile, as I turned to look back at my family.

"Guys, this is Derek. My fiancée." I said happily. Everyone smiled widely, like I knew they would. It really did make me feel good to see them proud of me. It made my spirits sore to know that they wanted to see me joyful. I could see Emmett's grin behind the brotherly stare, and Rose's eyes as she speculated him, while Esme looked at me with a sparkle in her eye. Edward just stayed blank. He didn't even have the crazy look in his eye, he just stared at us, without any emotion at all.

I let out a gush of air. Edward's expression really confused me, but after a while I understood. He was just bored, probably still hating me since I left his wedding. I didn't let that bring me down, or show through my face. Instead I grinned as I wrapped my arms possessively around Derek, looking for a comfort that only he could bring. He responded by wrapping his arms around my waist, placing his hands on my stomach. He loved my belly, and he loved kissing it, and feeling it all the time. I sighed as I leaned into his touch.

Ever since he healed me, I couldn't thank him enough, and I think that's what made me truly fall in love with him. It was that joy that filled my veins, with the fact that my family was just inches away from me watching.

"Well, hello there Derek, I'm Carlisle, and this is my wife Esme." Carlisle was the first to break the silence, as everyone but Edward kept a goofy grin on their faces. Edward must really be waiting for Alex, which where is she?

"It's nice to meet you all. Bella was driving me crazy this morning, saying how we were going to be late." Derek joined, which made me laugh as well. Everyone in the room seemed to glow at the sound of my laugh. Was I really that depressed before? I have been laughing so often since I met Derek, I hadn't really noticed it was such a big deal.

"Well, we're glad to meet the father of our newest little family member." Esme chimed in. I smiled brightly. Yes, my child would be the newest member. "So what's the sex?" Esme asked. My smile grew more pronounced.

"A boy." I said happily. At this Edward finally made a move.

"A boy?" He asked, his tone was a bit shock. I glanced at him, his piercing green eyes were boring into my belly, and that made me place my hands over Derek's protectively. It was just an instinct.

"Yes. Why?" I asked cautiously. My heart was racing a bit and I suppose it's because I was afraid of his answer, or of any movement he would make. I was afraid of his hatred towards me.

Everyone looked down at the floor, shifting uncomfortably. I was confused to say the least, as the atmosphere quickly changed to unsteadiness. Had I said something wrong? Rose finally spoke up.

"Well…..you see, Edward and….Alex…" Rose said her name cautiously, glancing up at me, I guess she was checking to make sure it hadn't hurt me, when in truth I didn't even flinch at her name like I usually did. "Can't have children….well Edward can, but Alex can't, Edward wanted a boy, and they couldn't." Rose explained. That pained even me. Now I understood Edward's discomfort. Here I was, his ex best friend, with her new fiancée, and pregnant with a baby boy, as happy as ever. He hated me, his worst enemy, and I had everything he couldn't. I shifted uncomfortably for a moment.

"Where is Alex?" I asked curiously. I hadn't seen her, and maybe this would change the mood of the room. I could somewhat divert the subject like this.

"Alex is out to pick up some prescription; it seems she needs reading glasses." Alice said with a playful roll of the eyes. I nodded; glad that at least it lightened the atmosphere a bit.

"Well when does she arrive?" I asked in a casual tone. Every one was eyeing me carefully, probably expecting a tantrum or a break down. I chuckled darkly to myself at the thought.

"She will be here in a couple minutes or so." Esme assured. "Have you seen your father yet?" She asked. I shook my head. I had not seen my father yet, and having to tell him about the baby wouldn't be so easy.

"Well, no time for chit chatter, come on Bella, can you play while you're pregnant?" Emmett asked suddenly. I laughed once more, and this time it didn't make everyone's face all too goofy, still goofy but not as much as last time. They would come around to the new me eventually.

"Emmett I don't think that's possible." I said after I stopped laughing. Emmett pouted.

"Come on Bells!" He pleaded. I shook my head.

"I can barely walk!" I complained.

"One game!" He begged again, and like the usual pushover self that I am, I agreed.

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**E.P.O.V.**

We had all been sitting down in the living room, waiting for Bella's arrival. The truth was that I really wanted to see her and at the same time I didn't. I didn't want to see the damage I had left her with, and I knew that was cowardly, but I really didn't want to see the scars and wounds that I had marked on her.

I did want to see her though because I missed my best friend. I never understood why she had left my wedding. Well at the same time I did. I had rejected her, and told her no. I couldn't lie to her and say yes, because in truth I didn't. I didn't love her that way. I loved her as a friend, not as in true love. I was in love with Alex, and I wanted Alex that way, not Bella. Bella was like a sister. Of course that day when I realized that she was leaving I went into hysterics. I couldn't understand at the time why she was leaving me.

Was she that upset that I couldn't love her? Did she really think that we could ever be? No, we could never be and that's what upset me. She thought that maybe she and I would be able to be more than friends, when in reality I was meant for Alex.

I had called Bella that day a million times, even using Alice's phone. She never picked up. I was panicking because my best friend was missing out on my wedding. That's like not having your mom there, or your best man. It hurt me greatly that she was leaving me on the happiest day of my life.

When I finally got a hold of her, I just ruined it. Instead of giving her a proper goodbye and letting her know how much she meant to me, I hurt her further instead. I killed my best friend, and the guilt that ate me up ever since, was just too much. I had told her I hated her, and after that we never spoke again. I had heard her sob into the phone, and I just kept stabbing her. I was selfish and evil, and the worst person ever. She was strong and not a coward like me. She took the hits, and stabs and just stood there listening to all the bull that I gave her.

I'm the one who drove her away from us, and I'm the one who caused the pain of not only her and me, but my family and wife. I had been so upset and depressed at the moment that I had ruined my wedding day. The worst part was that I blamed Bella for it. I blamed Bella for everything. I blamed her for making Alex upset, I blamed her for Alice's tears, I blamed her for my own feelings, and I blamed her for Emmett's fallen face, and Esme's broken heart.

I pushed everything that was my responsibility on her, and that was exactly why I didn't want to see her today. Everyone was bouncing up and down in their chairs, wanting so badly for her arrival to come. Alice had gotten up to go open the door, and as the silent minutes flew by, we finally hear a sound that was so unfamiliar, but familiar all the same.

It was a laugh. It was her laugh. Bella was laughing. She was laughing with Alice, and the sound itself was not forced. It was something I missed, it was like bells. It was in perfect harmony, and it brought a smile to everyone's anxious face.

To me it only confused me further. Maybe she had moved on. Oh of course she had. It's been three years, she had to eventually. What was I expecting? For her to be depressed for all this time? Actually, yes, that's what I had been prepared for.

My own excitement and curiosity began to bubble up inside me too. I was now curious to see Bella, and her state. We heard a couple footsteps as they made their way over to the living room entrance. We turned our heads to see Alice standing in front of us.

"Guys I think you should see this." She said as she reached out for a hand, and she dragged Bella out of the doorway, and into full view of us.

I heard a couple gasps, and heard as everyone in the room went dead still. Even my own heart stopped beating. There she was.

The first thing I noticed about her was the pink blush that she would always wear. He cheeks were blazing and the rest of her skin was pale as usual, but not the unhealthy pale she got three years ago, when I told her about the wedding. No, it was a glowing pale, full of life, and milky cream in every way. The color of her silk blue shirt only made her skin glow even more. It looked so smooth, and perfect against her mahogany hair. I remember that during her 'depression' it was dead, and a haystack, dry.

No it was alive in wonderful waves against her shoulders and face. It was long, at least to lower back as I could see. It wasn't straight as it used to be, no it was like I said, in perfect spiral, and waves like the ocean, complicated but peaceful in place. Her brown eyes that _I_ once made dull and flat, were now alive, and on fire. They had their depth back, and they were lighter than ever, in all their chocolate wonder. They had their complex swirls and orbs like they used to, except now they were staring at my family, full of excitement and love. They could literally burn holes in me, as I looked at them. I felt hypnotized.

How much had I missed those eyes? I had been longing to see them happy for the longest time now. And here they were staring back, but not at me. No these eyes were staring at the people next to me. This infuriated me, but the beauty to them melted away the anger quickly. The intensity in them was just so powerful. I wasn't prepared for that. I wasn't prepared to see the joy.

As I heard another gasp, and Bella look down, placing her hands on her stomach……that's when I shut down.

The confusion I had felt before disappeared into a black hole. She was pregnant. Her milky and slender arms folded themselves, as she caressed her stomach, and looked down at it lovingly. It was a huge bump.

How on earth did she get pregnant? Who did this?! Who is the father?! How much had I missed? Is there a father?! Is he here? How do we know he's good for her? Why hadn't she called?

My head was swimming with questions as I tried to see the different possibilities. I didn't know how I felt about her being pregnant. It just felt so surreal. How was it even possible? Bella was broken when she left. How could she have gotten pregnant in just three years? Did that mean she never had actually really loved me?! If so then why did she leave my wedding?

I tried to calm myself down as the thoughts of my own sanity came pouring in my head. Bella had left for three years. She could have gotten herself a nice boyfriend there, forgotten about me and gotten a happy ending, the one she deserved. That should have been my answer and calmed me down…but it wasn't.

It only made me angrier. She should have called and told us. I was supposed to be her best friend. The mere thought of her happiness, and her _child _with her_ husband_, made me envious. I just didn't know what envy it was or to whom it was towards. It was probably towards her. She was having a child and Alex and I could not. We wanted a baby of our own. I imagined a baby boy as he played with us in the back yard, someone I could teach baseball to. It was all a dream though, and not possible. Alex could have no children.

We would never get what Bella had. Was that my punishment for hurting her? Was my punishment to have to sit and watch as Bella has the perfect life, while Alex and I suffer? Was that it? Good. I deserve it. I deserve worse punishment too for all the horrible thoughts roaming around in my head.

It was then that I realized that everyone was standing and hugging Bella. I soon found myself standing too, only feet away from her. My head still swimming as it tried to wrap itself around the idea of her having a baby.

"Esme it's ok…..go ahead." I heard suddenly. Bella's voice was silky, and sweet like always, just as bell-like as her laugh. It was a voice full of joy that I missed. Esme's tear stained eyes looked down at Bella's bump, as she kneeled down in front of it, trying to listen to the baby. I just stared. Alex could be in that position. She could be carrying a baby. My baby. That made me wonder….

"Who's the father?" I asked. The sadness in my eyes was probably evident. I just couldn't understand why she didn't call or say anything about it. She just appears pregnant, and acts like it will all be ok. I didn't know how I felt about it, but the envy in me grew again, and I knew it was because this guy was having something I couldn't, my best friend, and a baby. He was taking my place in Bella's heart, and filling it with the joy that I destroyed.

Bella pursed her and turned her head to look to the doorway. She sighed what seemed to be a happy noise, and reached her hand out towards the door. An arm popped out, as my heart accelerated. It was most definitely a man's arm, and when the guy came into view, I could feel the envy burn even deeper in me. His child would be good looking that was for sure. If he was lucky the kid would get Bella's eyes. All I could think was how he was getting a baby. I was the one who caused his happiness, and for some reason it bothered me. I really wanted Alex here with me more than ever.

She smiled up at him as she gave his hand a visible squeeze, her eyes holding the love that she once had to witness me give Alex. Is this how she felt? No, she had to feel much worst, because at the time she was in love with me, and now, I wasn't in love with her, I was just jealous. This made my heart ache, as I realized that Bella's pain must've been ten times worst. This was just a glimpse of a quarter of what she felt.

The blonde man smiled at her, showing the same love back as she turned to face us all.

"Guys, this is Derek. My fiancée." She announced, her silky voice was even more joyous as she victoriously introduced him.

Everyone in the room seemed to have been feeling the same tension as me, and when they saw her happiness, they smiled just as widely. I didn't know what to make of it.

I just stood there watching as I witnessed the man who cleaned up my mess. It made me feel useless to know that some stranger had to clean up what I had left behind. It made me feel even more of a coward than I had before.

I watched as a grin spread across Bella's face and she wrapped her arms around Derek, tightly, and pressed herself as much as she could to him. He hugged her back, and gently placed his hands on her belly, rubbing his thumb softly over it, and caringly. Bella smiled at him with a look full of love as she sighed looking down at his hands on her.

I didn't know how I felt at the moment. I didn't really care. I just kind of shut myself out further.

"Well, hello there Derek, I'm Carlisle, and this is my wife Esme." I could hear Carlisle's voice in the background as he introduced himself.

"It's nice to meet you all. Bella was driving me crazy this morning, saying how we were going to be late." Derek replied to him. I heard as Bella's laugh fill the room, and I could see through my unfocused vision that everyone was happy to hear her laugh again. We all knew the exact pain she had gone through.

"Well, we're glad to meet the father of our newest little family member." Esme chimed in. The thought made me sick to the stomach of having the child as the new family member, but what made my stomach churn even worse, was my dark thoughts. Envy was a powerful thing. "So what's the sex?" I heard Esme ask.

"A boy." Bella said with an excited tone. That's when I lifted my head up to look at her.

"A boy?" I asked my tone disbelieving and full of shock. She took a glance at me, as my eyes went directly to the now hated stomach. I knew that I was glaring at it. I wanted to see through it, to make sure that it was really a baby boy. She put her hands over Derek's as she rubbed soothing circles on her belly.

"Yes. Why?" She asked cautiously and protectively, her chin jutting out a bit. First she is having a baby, a baby that I wanted to have, -with Alex, but can't-, and I find out it belongs to this stranger whom I've never met before. Not only is he taking away my best friend, but he's having a child, something I can't have with Alex. Then to top it all off, it's a boy! A freaking boy! Not only do I have to watch like a coward all the cuts and bruises that I left on Bella, but I also have to watch as this guy takes over my spot and cleans it up, then is having a boy! It would be fine if Alex could have one as well, but no, she can't because god must hate me. At the moment I knew my thoughts were stupid and just plain selfish, but I couldn't help it. The coherent part of my brain, was telling me that I deserved this pain, and this punishment.

Everyone knew the situation and the looked down uncomfortably, knowing very well what this was doing to me.

"Well…..you see, Edward and….Alex…" Rose said her name cautiously, glancing up at Bella. I knew why she was doing it. She was doing it because she was afraid of Bella's reaction, which I was too. But Bella just stood there waiting for Rose to continue as if Rose had just named one of her old high school friends or something. "Can't have children….well Edward can, but Alex can't, Edward wanted a boy, and they couldn't." Rose explained. The pain was uncomfortable to me, as she called out the flaws in Alex's and mines, relationship. I could see as Bella shifted from one leg to the other, pity in her eyes. I wanted to snort. How the tables have turned. The woman, whom I caused so much pain to, now pitied me.

"Where is Alex?" She asked suddenly. That surprised all of us. It's as if nothing had ever happened between me and her. Like if I didn't even exist. It made me somewhat happy to see her happy, and healed, but at the same time I was still upset about the whole pregnant thing, and that was more potent.

"Alex is out to pick up some prescription; it seems she needs reading glasses." Alice said with a playful roll of the eyes. Bella nodded, and I noticed as everyone went back to their comfortable positions. It was then that I realized why Bella had mentioned her. It was to divert the mood and subject. So typical Bella.

"Well when does she arrive?" She asked casually like if she was talking about Alice. I was half expecting her to flinch or shift or do something right now, but nothing happened. She just stayed there still and watching us.

"She will be here in a couple minutes or so." Esme assured. "Have you seen your father yet?" She asked. Bella shook her head as she looked down to the floor, deep in thought. I wondered what she was thinking now, and I wanted so badly to just figure it out.

"Well, no time for chit chatter, come on Bella, can you play while you're pregnant?" Emmett asked suddenly. Bella laughed and once again the sound was able to distract me from the sudden saddening cloud that had loomed over me.

"Emmett I don't think that's possible." She said after she stopped laughing. Emmett pouted. I wanted to slap him. How could she play if she's pregnant?

"Come on Bells!" He pleaded. She shook her head.

"I can barely walk!" She complained.

"One game!" He begged again. It was a pointless fight and Bella knew it. She knew she would lose, and she did, as she finally agreed.

At that moment as we all walked outside to the backyard, I watched as Derek helped Bella carefully, treating her like a jewel that could break at any given moment, which was exactly what she was, the only difference is that she was tougher than he had the slightest clue.

I wanted to talk to her, to see what she had been up to, to fix things….but I knew it was useless and a closed case. I had messed up, and she was happy at the moment. There was no reason for me to ruin that for her. I would have to suck it up. That's what I did and as uncomfortable as it was, I sat and watched as Emmett played soccer with Bella.

Rose and Alice were on the same team with Bella, against Jasper, Emmett and Derek. If Alex was here, then I knew for a fact that I would play with them, Alex being on Bella's team.

I watched as Bella's face flushed, and her hair got into messy disarray. She would casually put her hand to her stomach, without even thinking about it, as she tried to move the ball around with her feet. At one point the hair got into such a big pain that Alice grabbed a rubber band and pulled Bella's hair in a messy pony tail. As weird as it sounded it looked good on her.

That was the thing about Bella; she could always look good with sweatshirts and jeans. It was her style….her thing. As I looked at her now, I realized just how odd she looked. Odd because I haven't seen her happy in a long time and happy Bella was much more beautiful than depressed Bella. Her cheeks were pink from running, and the sweat beads were glistening off her skin, as loose strands of hair bounced in her face. Even pregnant suit her. Pregnancy looked beautiful with Bella wearing it around.

There was a smile plastered on her face, and as Derek suddenly came behind her, she jumped, causing him to catch her, with his arm around her waist. She laughed out loud, throwing her head back, as he laughed with her. She placed her small hands on his chest, and hid her red face in his neck. Their embrace was just so full of love and just a happy gesture in general.

Like I said it was weird to see her so happy since my last images of her weren't the best. I sighed and leaned further back into my chair, as I watched them continue the game. It looked like a commercial moment, as Emmett fell on his butt when Rose tripped him. Alice was dancing around in a circle confusing Jasper, as Bella tried to run from Derek with the ball.

She finally gave up and picked it up with her hands, throwing it over the goal line that they drew, and jumped up in the air victoriously as the rest of them laughed.

"You cheater!" Derek accused with a hidden smile. Bella stuck her tongue out at him and turned to hug Rose and Alice in a triumphant embrace.

"Dude she's pregnant, don't mess with angry pregnant women." Emmett joked.

Ah, Bella being pregnant was still something that I would never get used to. I still couldn't believe that Bella Swan was pregnant. My best friend. Well I don't know if that title still belongs to me. I took in a frustrated breath.

"Hey guys." Alex's voice suddenly rang behind us. I felt a small smile creep up my lips, and I turned my head to look at her. She was looking at the screen door as she tried to close it.

Everyone seemed to have stopped playing, and froze in their spot. Alice was on the floor, her arms wrapped around Emmett's ankle as he carried Bella up on his shoulder, Bella's face was completely flushed and the grin was still on her lips as Derek helped Emmett carry her, but right now they were frozen in spot, even Esme and Carlisle, and Rose whom had Jasper in a headlock, who had also stopped squirming to look at Alex.

The tension in the air was thick, as people expected the encounter between Bella and Alex to be horrible, but as I looked at Bella, she seemed untroubled. She was absolutely beaming as she squirmed to get Emmett loose.

"Hey Alex." Bella finally called, a bit strained, I suppose from Emmett and Derek. Alex froze in her spot, and she turned slowly on her heel to look at us. Her eyes were wide behind the new black glasses she was sent to wear. Her black eyes were confused as she stared at the scene behind me, her blonde hair, slick straight from ironing it this morning, and her golden skin was a bit paled in the face.

"Alex." I said getting up from my seat. I walked cautiously to her, and placed my hands on her waist, bending my head to give her a peck on the lips. She kissed me back, but moved her eyes from me back to the scene behind me. Her eyes searched around and she met Bella's gaze as Emmett finally put her down. She wrapped her arm around Derek's waist, as he placed his arm around her shoulder.

"Bella?" Alex asked, her eyes looking her up and down, lingering on her stomach. Her lips parted slightly as she examined Bella's belly. She blinked a couple times before looking up at me.

"Hey." Bella chirped, wobbling over to us. Alex looked at me confused, as Bella dragged Derek with her towards us.

Alex knew very well about Bella's 'depression' and 'love'. She knew what happened between us, and to see Bella so suddenly and joyful was just a big surprise. I could see the big shock in Alex's eyes as she stared at Bella. Bella just grinned as Derek wrapped his arms from behind her. I watched as Bella leaned back on him, as he placed his hands on her belly, his new _child_, and then I watched as Bella placed her hands on him, her engagement ring shining in the sun. It was absolutely beautiful, and vintage, just like Bella. He really knew her well. What upset me at this picture was me having to watch this Derek guy take my place as her best friend…..I used to be the one she leaned on. What made me more upset was I, because I knew I was the one who separated us.

"Um…H-hi…" Alex finally replied with a bit of stutter. Bella smiled slightly and put one hand out towards Alex. Alex looked at it confused for a moment, before she finally took it.

"How are you?" Bella asked when she got her hand back. Alex looked dazed, as her eyes glazed over a bit. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder, pulling her into me a bit. She finally shook her head.

"What?" She asked. Bella chuckled, as the atmosphere seemed to cool down.

"How have you been?" Bella repeated. Derek chuckled into her hair as he placed a small kiss on her neck. Bella blushed and glanced up at him, with a small smile playing on her lips….almost like a smirk. I watched as he rose his eyebrows up at her, and she grinned. He finally blinked a couple times before his eyes widened, and he smiled at her as well.

"I've been fine." Alex finally said breaking the moment for the two. As Alex and Bella exchanged a couple words, I stood there thinking. I had never seen Bella like that with anyone before. She had never had that sort of connection, in such a deep way with anyone. It was really weird to see. I guess that maybe our separation was the best for her. Maybe it was a good thing that she and I got into that fight. If it wasn't for that she wouldn't be as happy as she is now. Maybe we were never meant to be. I sighed and turned my attention back to them when I heard my name being called out.

"Yes, Edward is quite the pianist. Just give him his time, it will cool down, every year or so it gets into a big habit but then after a while he stops." Bella winked at Alex. They were talking about me. What were they saying? I wish I paid more attention.

"Oh, well I will keep that in mind." Alex laughed as she placed a sweet kiss on my cheek. I smiled happily down at her, and then looked back at Bella and Derek. All I knew was that this was going to be a long vacation.

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**I'm not sure if I should keep on going, or if I will, but it's pretty cool to write. :)**


	3. Cool by gwen steffani

**Well, I'm glad I got a couple responses for this, but I'm having a lot of fun writing it. It's different from my other works, and I want to continue experimenting, but I'm still not completely sure if this is what people would want to read, since Edward and Bella look pretty distant right now.**

**I changed the title from "the wedding" to "Congratulations" because I find it more appropriate. Don't you?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight :)**

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**E.P.O.V**

"My mind it kind of goes fast……So I'll try to slow it down for you….hmmm hmm hmmm…….." I heard a sweet, bell-like voice, as my bare feet continued on the cold wooden floor. "I want to give you something, I've been wanting to give to you for years…my heart….hmmm hmmm hmm hmmmm…hu hu huh hu." The humming continued. It was such a familiar voice, but so unfamiliar at the same time. I kept my pace, slow and step by step as I moved closer to the kitchen. Where had I heard that voice before?

It was so beautiful, like honey, and the song itself…..my curiosity grew as the humming continued. Alex had a very pretty voice when it came to singing, it was firm and clear, but this voice….it was so sweet, and soft, and high pitched like Alice.

I walked faster as the humming became louder, and I looked through to the kitchen, where the source was coming from. I stood leaning against the doorway when I realized exactly who it was.

Bella.

I hadn't talked to her last night. She had gone to see her parents with Derek, when she came back I was in my old room with Alex. Bella and Derek took the guestroom, so it was really hard to see when she had gotten there. I had been wondering all night, because the guilt was still eating at my core. I took a deep breath as she continued with her humming. A small smiled crept on my face as I watched.

She was in a big t-shirt, I'm guessing Emmett's and a pair of shorts. Her big bump was still visible through the shirt, and she had a spoon in hand as the mixing bowl was set on the counter behind her. I could smell the eggs, and bacon. She swung from left to right, her back facing me, as she continued with the singing.

"You left me, hu, hu, huh hu." She continued singing, as she turned on her side, letting me see her profile. She was now using the mixing bowl, probably making pancakes. I smiled as she let her hand fall to her stomach, caressing it. I had a warm feeling form in my lower stomach as I watched her. It was so peaceful, and cozy to just see her early this morning. Her cheeks held a new shade of light pink from waking up, and her eyes were ecstatic and on fire, while her hair was a mess of waves. She looked……..serene.

"I can't change this, I can never take it back but now, I can't change your mind……hmmm hu huh hmmmm…" She continued singing softly to herself. I could barely make out the lyrics. I let a chuckle escape my lips as she did a turn, like if she was waltzing with someone. As soon as the chuckled escaped my lips Bella's eyes opened and she stared at me with shock, as her cheeks started turning to a darker pink. I grinned at her.

"Good morning." I said with another smile as I walked towards the counter, seating myself in one of the stools. Bella smiled slightly and mumbled a 'good morning' as she turned around, letting her back face me.

This is how it was going to be. Maybe we could never be friends again. I let out a frustrated sigh as I ran my fingers through my hair. I had to say something. We couldn't be ignoring each other for the rest of our lives, I mean, she was my best friend. Was…..

"So…what are you making?" I asked, although I knew the answer already. She turned her head over her shoulder to smile at me.

"I'm making pancakes and bacon, with some eggs." She said joyfully before returning back to work. I smiled to myself. Well, at least she's not pissed, or something, then this would be an interesting conversation.

"So, how has life been?" I asked awkwardly. The conversation was bound to come, and this was probably the last time we'd be alone. Bella flinched for a second, and I wished more than anything that I knew why. But at the same time, I had an idea. I'm sure this was a touchy subject for her. Plus the fact that Bella and I had bad history for the past three years. I took a deep breath preparing myself for whatever answer might come.

"It's been…..good." She said with a light smile, though I knew there was more.

"Well, what have you been up to?" I asked trying to maneuver the conversation in the direction of topic that I wanted to hit. I didn't want to be rude and put it bluntly so I thought that maybe if I could drop a couple hints….

"Um, nothing really, besides the whole baby and Derek deal, I haven't really done anything." She shrugged, playing dumb. By now she had turned so that she was facing me, and I was sure that she has been mixing the same batter for more than five minutes. Soon it would be way too soft and soggy. This was a reaction from the nerves she probably had. She knew what I wanted to talk about, but she, herself didn't want to. I could see it in her eyes, she was distant, and deep in thought, as her knuckles became whiter as she tightened her hand around the spoon, and spun it around the bowl with way too much force. I held my hand out to stop hers.

As soon as my fingers met her soft and warm skin, my hand let out jolt of electricity, making us both jump. Bella's hand flew back, and the bowl almost fell to the floor before I reached over and caught it. Bella was breathing hard, her hand held out to her heart. I felt the same way. It was as if the tiny shock had sucked the life out of us. I looked up at Bella from under my eyelashes, as I set the bowl down. She smiled slightly.

"Are you ok?" I asked, as I sat back on the stool. She nodded, waving her hand in the air, as if to dismiss the subject. This wasn't the first time she tried to change topics, and my memory hit me back, as I realized that she was desperately trying to avoid the conversation at hand.

"Bella," I said, frustratingly. "Don't play stupid Bella. You can't avoid this subject forever." I hissed. She pursed her lips as she looked down to the floor. I took a deep breath trying to calm myself. This was hardly the way to get on a good foot. "I'm sorry." I whispered. It was the only thing I could say, and the pathetic thing was, that it wasn't true. There was a lot of things I could have said, but 'I'm sorry' was the only thing that would come out.

She let out a breath, as she placed her hands on her belly, rubbing it in soothing circles, almost like if she was comforting herself. She looked down at the counter before looking at me.

"It's fine." She said in a low voice. I shook my head.

"No, it's not." I said a bit angry with myself. It was never alright. "Bella, it's not ok. It's all wrong. I'm sorry. I know it's the worst thing I could say, and that there are so many other words I can use, but those two are the only ones that I could come up with at this moment. I'm sorry for everything. For that day at the airport, for my wedding, for that day in your apartment, for never calling, for all the bad things I told you…I'm sorry." I said in a defeated tone. It was quiet for a moment, and all I could do was let the guilt swallow me.

"Edward," Bella began, but I cut her off.

"No, don't even try to say it's ok. Just accept the apology Bella. Tell me I was horrible; tell me I was a sucky person. Tell me I still am. Because it's true. I am. You're not. You're sweet, and kind, and brave, and the strongest person I have ever met Bella. I really mean that. You're so smart, and so mature, and just the fact that you endured everything so well, and that you were able to turn your world back up was just….incredible. I'm sorry for the hurt that I put you through." I whispered the last part.

That was all I could say, and it felt good to say it. Almost like a great weight being put off of my shoulders. I had been meaning to say it for a while, and even now, that I sit here, I realize it's still not enough.

Bella didn't know what to say. She just stood there, rubbing circles on her belly, as she stared intently at me. Her gaze held sympathy, that I didn't deserve, and a certain emotion that was still indescribable to me. She finally smiled, her eyes turning to amusement, and the confusion I felt was probably evident through my own eyes. What was she thinking now?

"Ok, you're a sucky person." She said still amused. I looked at her shocked. What? She just stands there and all she can say is…..oh!

I let a chuckle escape me. She was calling me a sucky person like I told her to.

"I really am sorry Bella." I said with a sad, pathetic smile. She shook her head.

"It's fine Edward." She assured. I couldn't help but admire her strength. I wish I had something like that.

"Bella, I really did miss you." I finally said, after a couple minutes. Her mouth turned into a frown, and I wondered what I had done wrong. Had I said the wrong thing? Did she not want me to miss her? What?! What did I say? It was quiet for a couple more minutes.

"Edward, I…missed you too." She said, but it was barely a whisper, and she had stopped mixing. Her eyes were full of so much emotion as she looked down at the counter table. The words themselves were said with so much emotion that I wondered for a moment exactly how much pain I had put this woman through.

"Bella?" I asked, as she looked up at me. When her eyes met mine, I all but gasped.

It was all there. All the depression, that she had learned to hide so well, the depression she never let us see, the anger mixed in it too, in forms of furious specks in her deep brown eyes. Before I thought that I could read her perfectly, her eyes would tell all, but right now, as I looked in her eyes, I saw exactly how much pain she had, and I couldn't help but wonder how much she had held back. All this pain that she had never let anyone see, all the pain she had swallowed and lived with for years. It was all there in front of me, all there for me to see. She was showing me exactly what I had done to her. I felt my stomach become uneasy, as I felt suddenly hollow.

I had hurt her worse than I thought possible. She had been holding back on me. On us. She was hurt beyond repair. This lifestyle she put up with was barely enough to fix the damages that I had left.

It sucks when you have to witness exactly how much shit you made. It sucks to have to see that the person carrying your weight, and your wounds, and the scars caused by you, is the one person you truly ever loved to an extent. It's the one person you had ever confided with. It's your best friend. It also sucks to see that this person put up with it, and is standing here forgiving you.

I let a gasp escape my lips as I watched Bella's eyes hold back the tears. She was holding it. She had been holding it. She'd been holding it all in for more than three years, and it was all to stop from hurting us. She would rather get hurt than see us cry. Than see me cry.

Her eyes were turning slightly darker as she blinked. When her eyes looked back up at me, they were flat, and on guard, shut down. Not willing to show any more. It's funny how much one look could say.

Bella shook her head as she dropped her spoon on the counter and turned on her heel, walking away from me, and out of the kitchen. The second time she has walked out of my life, but then again, how many times have I left her?

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"Edward, are you sure you're alright?" Alex asked for about the twentieth time. Her eyes held full concern for me. I nodded my head. I didn't need her worrying.

"I'm fine, I swear." I promised. She looked at me skeptically, her eyes searching. I looked down, avoiding any chances of her seeing the hurt in my eyes. She finally sighed.

"I know it's hard Edward…I know she was your best friend, but she's fine now." Alex said, rubbing a soothing hand on my shoulder. If only she knew exactly how much pain Bella still felt. I wanted to snort, and yell that things weren't even near ok.

"It's just so much to take in." I shrugged. It wasn't a full out lie. It was semi lie. It was a lot to take in, but that didn't bug me. What bugged me was that Bella had locked herself with Derek in her room this morning after our little incident, and he's the one comforting her, and once again, cleaning up _my_ mess. It made me feel like a coward.

"Alright." She sighed, placing a small kiss on my forehead. I smiled and grabbed her wrist, pulling her into me. I breathed into her hair, as I planted a kiss on her cheek. She smiled, grabbing her bag and walking out the door.

I took a deep breath myself as I walked up the stairs. Now that Alex was gone, how do I entertain myself? I shook my head, going through possibilities in my head, as I heard a small giggle. I stopped mid step, my ears straining to hear it again. I didn't, so I continued walking. I reached the top of the stairs when I heard it again. It was coming from the guestroom.

My curiosity struck in as I neared the door. What is she laughing about? I knew I should have turned around, but I couldn't now. I had to know what she was doing. I tip toed closer to the door. It had an inch of it open, and I could see the sight perfectly, without them seeing me.

There she was. She was on the bed, next to Derek. The sheets, and the whole room was decorated white, one of Esme's designs. It was like a heaven of white blankets. Truly magical.

She was laughing, lying on her side, as Derek lied on his, facing her. She was giggling as he placed a kiss on her neck. She laughed when he nuzzled it. She let her head dip back, and you could see the wave of mahogany hair, as it flowed like a cascade down the side of the bed. Their legs were twisted together, as hers lied on his. He wrapped his arm around her waist, and pulled her close to him. She smiled and wiggled herself into his embrace, hiding her face in his chest. The light from the window made it look more like a commercial than anything.

I felt my stomach drop a bit, and I didn't know why. I think it was because he could fix her so easily, and I wished I had that type of power. I sighed deeply as I moved my eyes away from them and toward the rest of the hall. I walked down, slowly, and dragging my feet to my bedroom. I didn't know what was getting into me lately. Ever since Bella got here, I've been acting up, and something's wrong. I just know there is something wrong with me.

I took a deep breath and opened my bedroom door. I walked towards my piano and took a seat. The room was quiet, and it was starting to bug me. Alice, Alex and Rose were out shopping and Emmett and Jasper had gone out to put some gas in Emmett's jeep. Carlisle had work, and Esme was in the garden. The only people left were Bella and Derek. I was on my own, because let's just face it….those two don't really count as my company.

I let out a huge gush of air as I let my fingers stretch out over the keys. I let them hit soft notes, not really caring about what noise I could possibly be making. The only other two people in the house were too busy to even notice. I closed my eyes as I tried to think of happy thoughts.

Alex came to mind. Her pitch black eyes were staring at mine, as her blonde, straight hair hung around her shoulders. She was smiling, and laughing along with me. The scene changed to our wedding day. I thought about the wonderful smile on her lips, and her laugh as she kissed me. I thought about her golden skin, against the pale white of her dress. Suddenly as I let myself relax, I could see Alex's skin getting lighter and lighter, until it was a milky pale. The pale was absolutely stunning, and Alex's tall figure, shortened, making her at least 5'4 instead of the 5'8 she really was.

Her body became a bit thinner, and there were still curves in all the right places, yet slightly smaller, more fragile. Then as I looked up, the blonde curls she had that day, became darker and darker until they were large spiral of mahogany. As I looked up to Alex's eyes, they changed from pitch black to lighter, until they became the deep chocolate I was so familiar with. It was Bella.

I could feel my fingers starting to change the tune, it was softer, and happy. I let my mind keep on wandering to see where it would take me. Then as I looked in the deep brown eyes, they changed to flat, dark brown eyes, boring and dead. The silky blue dress, which hugged at every curve of Bella's body, became boring, and just silk on an unhealthy pale skin. Her curves disappeared, until they became just skin and bones, and her face lost the pink cheeks, turning to just wasted, as her hair came down, dry and hard, straight like a stick. She looked awful.

My fingers still played the keys, and the tune became upset and depressed. Then it changed. Bella's color came back immediately, and I could see the pink in her cheeks as she smiled at me. The color in her eyes returned, and her hair was back to life, and blowing in the wind, as she laughed. She gained her curves again, and now was wearing the silk blue shirt from yesterday. She was happy, and no longer that nasty pale, but a shining one. There was a glow around her, and the sun was just right, making her look like she came out of an ad. Then I noticed it. The bump. It was growing by the second, and when I looked back up at her, Derek was next to her.

Suddenly the bump disappeared and in Bella's arms was a child. It grew and grew, until you could notice he was at least eight. He had Bella's wonderful eyes, shining just like his mother, but he had Derek's blonde hair, shaggy and in his forehead. He had Bella's full lips, and a faint pink on his full cheeks which clearly came from the father, seeing the dimples.

That's when I pressed my hand into the keys and opened my eyes. I just saw Bella's life before my own eyes. The weird part was that I didn't want to stop seeing it. I wanted to keep on further into the future, because some part of me hoped that maybe I would become part of her life too. I took deep breaths, trying to calm myself.

"Edward?" I heard her voice ring through my room. I turned my head slowly to look at her. She had a small smile on her lips, but concern written in her eyes. I could see she was no longer depressed.

"Yes?" I finally responded. Bella hesitated on the doorway, her eyes contemplating, until she finally looked up at me.

"Are you ok?" She asked cautiously. I wanted to roll me eyes. Shouldn't it be I who is asking that question?

"I'm fine." I lied. Why is everyone asking me the same question? Is it that noticeable? Is it secretly written on my forehead or something?

"Are you sure?" She asked. I sighed. There was no point in lying to her. She didn't deserve any more lies, and she could see right through me anyway. She is very stubborn, and maybe telling her the truth can give us a better start.

"No….I don't know what's wrong with me." I shrugged. Bella pursed her lips before sitting next to me in the piano bench.

"Well, what is bothering you?" She asked, trying to help me out. That's the thing about Bella, she always tries to help no matter what.

"I don't know what's bothering me exactly. It's everything in general. I just…." I shook my head. There was no way I was going to tell her it was her perfect life that bugged me. She sighed.

"Did it start when…..when I…." She trailed off. I nodded. She was right on track. "Oh, Edward I'm so so-" I cut her off before she could continue.

"If you say you're sorry, I will kill you." I said in a serious tone. She chuckled, but it was dry, and without humor.

"Alright fine." She sighed. "Well, I don't know what to tell you if I don't know what's bugging you." She said elbowing me.

"I know." I said with a short laugh. Bella grinned, laughing herself. We didn't even know what we were laughing, and that's what made it so special, and so calm. It felt so natural. It felt like we were back in time, before Alex. It, for once in a long time, all felt alright.

"Well, I just want you to know, that seeing you and Alex together really doesn't bother me, or hurt me anymore. So if that's the reason something is bugging you, then I'm just letting you know, that I'm fine. I swear." She said proudly. I smiled slightly, but for some reason it bugged me more when Bella said that.

"Well, I think what's bothering me, is that we've separated. Bella I don't want to separate." I said, almost pleadingly. Bella let out a gush of air.

"I know." She whispered, looking down at her lap. "We don't have to…" She whispered again, looking up at me. Having her at such close proximity, and her sweet breath on my face, it made me feel hope, and somewhat at home. I nodded eagerly.

"I want more than anything to be friends again." I whispered back. She smiled, in which I smiled in return, my heart soaring at the thought of our friendship restarting.

"Alright then…let's start over. Hi, I'm Bella, want to be my best friend?" She asked, as she held her hand out. I laughed at her, and it sounded real, and carefree, just like her laugh did just now. I nodded.

"I'm Edward, and yes." I said as I let my hand connect with hers. As soon as it made contact, I felt that shock of electricity again, and I pulled my hand back. "Sorry." I mumbled. Why does that keep happening? Bella laughed.

"It's ok. Best buddy." She said elbowing me playfully. I grinned at the new and returned title. She smiled back, and we looked back down at our feet. It was like if the elastic rubber band that made the gate between us was finally disappearing, pulling away more and more by the second. Finally Bella let it loose the whole way, and ended resting her head on my shoulder, like we used to. I laid my head on hers as well, and for a moment, I knew that it would all be fine. I had my best friend back.

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"Oh come on! For the love of god! There is no freaking way!" Emmett shouted at the T.V screen. Jasper had agreed to play Tekken 5 with Emmett after hours of begging and fake tears, and in the end, it's Emmett who wishes he never played because he's getting creamed himself right now.

"Emmett, can you keep your voice down, please." Rose hissed. She was sitting on the couch, and next to Bella. They were talking about god knows what, and as they talked, Rose would put her ear or hand to Bella's belly every once in a while. It still feels weird to see her like that….pregnant.

Derek was on the other side of Bella smiling like an idiot as he made small talk with them too. He must be really happy about the baby.

"Edward, you should have gone with us shopping. You should have seen all the ridiculous males check Rosalie and your sister out." Alex laughed beside me. I smiled down at her.

"They always check them out. You get used to it after a while." I shrugged.

"Yea, you lose the feeling of killing the guy after a couple years." Emmett joined in, never leaving his gaze from the TV.

"Yea, that and, I don't have it as bad as Emmett. Rose isn't my sister, or lover in any part. My only concern is Alice." I added. Rose, Bella, and Derek looked up at us to see what we were talking about.

"Well, you should worry, they were checking out Alex too." Rose said a bit smug. I shrugged, untroubled trying not to let her get to me. She let out a frustrated sigh and turned to Bella. "Don't you ever get checked out?" The whole room seemed to stop and everyone turned to look at her. Emmett, Jasper, and I always felt like Bella's older brothers, and now that she's pregnant and after so many years of separation, our brotherly guard has increased. Bella laughed.

"Yea, sure, because everyone wants to date a knocked up woman." She laughed again. Everyone joined her chuckles except me. She was never the one to see herself clearly, and she doesn't seem to understand exactly how pretty she looks, even pregnant. Someone needs to tell her.

"Alright, you may be right, that's a joy killer right there, but even so….you have to get checked out a couple times, even when you weren't pregnant." Rosalie insisted. Bella looked thoughtful for a moment, and for some reason I was anticipating her answer.

"I don't know…..I never notice." She said softly. Derek laughed.

"That's because you aren't watching with a hawk's eyes. Every time we would go out, before the pregnancy, there would be at least one or more guys checking her out or something. It was very annoying." Derek said with a slight edge. "But now that they see her with the baby, they know she belongs to someone." He said proudly, but then frowned. "They still check her out though..." He said a bit upset. Emmett laughed.

"Well, that's what happens when you have a hot girlfriend. Right Rose?" Emmett winked at Rosalie, and she giggled back.

I didn't exactly know how I felt about guys checking Bella out. It shouldn't bother me, but that brotherly feeling I had was probably shone on my face just like Emmett and Jasper.

"Well, I for one, don't have to worry about that, so good luck to Rose, Alice, and Alex." Bella concluded, leaning further into Derek's embrace. Derek smiled at her, and she smiled back. I felt as Alex leaned further into me too, and I tightened my arm around her. When I looked back up from her, my eyes met Bella's dark chocolate ones, and for once, in a really long time, I could have sworn I felt my heart skip.


	4. Into the ocean

**Wow, thank you guys for all the reviews. I didn't actually know that I would get such a good response. Like I said this is really fun writing, but I still don't know if people are going to want to read this due to the fact of the direction the story is taking, because right now it's not E/B. It will be, but right now, it's just not because that would unrealistic. lmao. Well, yea, thank you all for reviewing. And I hope you enjoy this chapter. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight**

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**B.P.O.V**

"Oh come on Bella! Let me at least _help_ buy the wedding dress." Alice pleaded. Her little blue eyes were begging me, and I was about to fall for it, but I bit my tongue.

"Alice, no. I came here to relax, when I get back, you can help with the wedding stuff." I promised. I didn't want to deny her, but at the same time I didn't want to fall for it. She sighed but nodded nonetheless.

"Fine." She agreed a bit grudgingly. I smiled apologetically.

"Alice, please, just let her relax a tiny bit." Edward's voice rang from behind me. I turned around to look at him. I was surprised that he was actually here. He was smiling at me, and I gave him a thankful look, into which he just nodded. Alice finally huffed before leaving the room. I let out a breath of relief.

Alice had been bothering me about it all week, and it was truly starting to get on my nerves. She wouldn't shut up, about the wedding. I didn't want to worry about the wedding until little Derek was out. I hadn't thought of a name yet. I knew I was running out of time and that at any moment I would have to come up with one, but it just didn't seem to fit.

All the names I thought of just didn't work for me. I sighed frustratingly, rubbing my hand over my stomach. I heard a low cough, reminding me that Edward was still in the room. I looked up at him.

"So, um, you're getting married huh?" He asked awkwardly, sitting on the edge of the bed, next to me. I nodded. I hadn't talked to Edward much. Our little truce was nice, but it still didn't click. There was something missing.

"Yea, but I don't want to worry about that now; there are too many other things to worry about." I said.

It was true, I had to worry about my baby, and the name, Derek, and Edward.

Edward.

When Edward had talked to me the other day, and it was fine, except that I almost slipped. I didn't know that those three words would cause so much pain and memories for me. I didn't want him to see the pain, or anything that I might have felt before. It wasn't something he should have to see, and yet that moment, that memory, has been stuck in my mind for these past three days. I didn't want him to feel bad about what happened. I'm fine now, and I'm happy with Derek so there shouldn't be any reason for him to feel any sort of guilt.

"Well what else do you have to worry about?" Edward asked breaking me from my thoughts. I looked up at him. There was no way I could tell him about my worry with him.

"Well, I don't know what to name the baby." I said with a shrug. It wasn't a lie, it was just simply not the whole truth. Edward chuckled.

"What did you have in mind?" He asked. I looked down at the floor, my lips pursing.

"I liked Tristan." I admitted. It was true. The name had popped up in my head a couple times, but I didn't really feel like it was the name for him. Edward leaned back and thought about that.

"That's a nice name." He agreed. I smiled. It was a nice name. "Well, what other name do you like?" He asked looking straight forward. I thought for a moment.

There were many names that could easily work for me, but I hadn't exactly thought about it.

"I don't know." I said in a low voice. "I like Anthony." I blurted out. I did like that name. It was very good for a boy, and there was just something about it. Edward tensed, and I turned to look at him questioningly. He was looking straight at me, and all of a sudden he burst out laughing. I stared at him in shock. Did I have something on my face? What was so funny? "What?" I demanded. Edward slowed his laughing down.

"My middle name is Anthony. Don't you remember Bella?" He asked still laughing, but with a bit of an edge. I suddenly blushed. Oh crap, that's right! His middle name is Anthony. After he stopped laughing and I stopped blushing, he finally sighed. "Has it been that long? Did you really forget my middle name?" He said jokingly, but I could see the seriousness in his eyes. I shook my head.

"Of course not. I just blurted out the name Anthony, not remembering the coincidence." I shrugged. I didn't want him to feel hurt. Edward smiled slightly, a sign that he was ok with it, and then he turned to look at the wall again.

I hated the silence between us. It was comfortable sure, but it wasn't something that I wanted. I didn't want the silence to go on like this. We were supposed to be best friends; we were supposed to get along. I think what bothered me the most was that I had missed his voice so much these past years, and then now that he's just not talking, it pissed me off to say the least.

I let out another frustrated sigh, and once again let my hand graze over my overgrown belly. It always relaxed me, and the one thing I needed right now was to relax. I didn't have a reason to be mad, and I knew that, but ever since I got here, something has been off. It's been missing…..I can't place it. Maybe it's just the fact that I'm back. After a couple minutes, I saw through the corner of my eye as Edward studied my stomach. He had that crazy look in his eye meaning that he was deep in thought. It's not like he was burning a hole in my belly like last time, no this time, he look hesitant. He finally put his hand out towards me, but stopped shortly before he touched me.

"Can I?" He finally asked, reaching his hand towards my stomach once more. I nodded eagerly. For some reason, I wanted him to touch it. I wanted him to touch me, and accept me.

I felt as his cool fingers touched my belly over the shirt. It was a feathery touch, and I could tell he was hesitant about it. Trying to give him confidence, I pulled my shirt over, showing my bear belly, and then I grabbed his hand, ignoring the electric shock that came with it, and placed it fully on my stomach.

The touch itself brought chills up my spine. It felt right, like his hand was meant to be there. It was the missing piece of the puzzle. It was our moment, our new bonding experience, and I was glad that one touch meant so much as the small smile appeared on his lips, and his eyes met mine. I smiled weakly at him too. He bent his head down, just like everyone else had, and he rested his ear on my tummy. I grinned as I felt his smile spread across his face. I let my fingers rest on his hair, his soft penny colored hair.

"I think the name Anthony is perfect." He whispered as he glanced up at me. I nodded my head in agreement.

Perfect.

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"I just don't get it. Why do you girls have to take us guys to the mall?" Emmett complained for the fifth time. Derek beside me chuckled as he rubbed his thumb over the back of my hand.

"Emmett, just shut up. You're the only one complaining." Rose hissed. She jutted her chin out, and then passed her fingers through her blonde locks.

"Rose, I'm the only one with the balls to complain. Jasper is too smart to know not to mess with Alice, Edward is moody right now, therefore not talking, and Derek….well what is wrong with Derek?" Emmett asked looking over at Derek. Derek shrugged.

"Bella never needs to take me out, so it's not that big of a deal to me." Derek explained coolly. Emmett groaned.

"Shit, you got the perfect girlfriend, and life. Hot, knocked up with a future little soccer player, nice, non-shoppoholic, and on top of that she doesn't fight or take off any sex from you. I envy you." Emmett said with a playful glare, which earned him a smack from Rose. Everyone started laughing, except for Edward, who just muttered something under his breath, and kept a straight face.

He was moody. Ever since Alice announced the shopping trip, Edward has been…….different. It made me wonder if he was ever bipolar before, because this morning he was perfectly fine. I let out a breath as Alice skipped happily with Jasper hot on her heels, through the stores.

"You guys there is a cute book shop around here, I want to go see it." I announced, as the boys started to enter some sports store. I could see Derek's eyes sparkle as he looked around with Emmett and Jasper at all the sport's equipment. Rose and Alice were already in a Victoria's Secret right next door with Alex.

"You want me to come with you?" Derek asked. I laughed. I knew he didn't really want to skip out on the sport's store.

"Derek I'll be fine." I promised. Derek looked at me doubtfully, contemplating on whether to take my word for it or go with me.

"I'll go with her." Edward volunteered from behind me. I turned to look at him, and found him smiling down at me too. It was the first smile I've seen in an hour. The last time he smiled in the past hour was when Alex had kissed him, but even then, it was still small.

"Alright." Derek shrugged, but not before running up to me. I laughed against his lips, when he gave me a kiss, like if we were saying goodbye or something. Nonetheless, I kissed him back. Edward stood awkwardly beside us, until Derek let me go and walked into the store. I stared behind him. He really was a great guy. I sighed before turning to look at Edward.

"You'll really go with me to the bookstore?" I asked. He shrugged.

"I don't see why not."

I smiled as we headed out to the bookstore. The walk to the bookstore was full of silence, but not the silence like before. This one was comfortable and just….silence.

We finally made it to the bookstore and Edward opened the door for me, as I walked inside. He took walked beside me as my eyes wandered over the little book store. It was very old fashioned, with wood and different decorations that didn't even match. There seemed to be endless bookshelves and as you walked forward the store seemed to get more modern.

"You still like the classics?" Edward asked. I nodded my head eagerly as I walked towards the classic section. Edward chuckled. "I knew it." He muttered. I turned to face him, with a skeptical look.

"Knew what?" I asked. He shrugged his shoulders and adverted his gaze to look at a couple of books in front of him, but the goofy grin never left his face. I had a witty response ready, but he beat me to it.

"So, are you going to have a fight with me over Wuthering Heights?" He asked with his eyebrow raised. I looked at him confused, until the memory dawned on me. He was talking about that one time he had dissed one of my all time favorite books, and I just about choked him. I shook my head and turned back my attention to the bookshelf.

There were so many, but I didn't know which one to start with. Wuthering Heights caught my eye, and I wanted so bad to grab it, just to piss Edward off, but I didn't want to buy it if I already owned a copy. Jane Eyre was next to it though, which is by the same author, so I grabbed it.** (I am quite aware of the fact that it's not by the same author...I don't read the classics, so sorry if I put that it was the same author. lol. Just so that we're clear, pretend that she said it was by the sister of the author, or whatnot. sorry people. I'm not perfect. :))** Edward gave me a skeptical look, before smirking and returning to look at some other book.

For some reason, I loved the atmosphere, and the way things were going. I suppose it's the fact that we were just being Bella and Edward, like when we were in high school, before Alex.

Alex.

I really thought things were going to be easy, since I'm not in love with Edward anymore; well at least I'm in love with Derek. But every time they touch, it just brings back memories from the past that I don't want to go back to. I just didn't want to touch the past, I wanted to leave it behind and move on. But somehow when they kiss, or hug, or even hold hands in front of me, it reminds me of what I couldn't have, and what I had worked so hard for.

That's ok though, because I lost Edward, but gained Derek and the baby. And it's not like I really _lost_ Edward, I mean he's right next to me. I smiled at the thought, and turned to look at him, but he was already staring down at me, and our eyes locked.

His were intense, and once again he had that crazy look, the one that says he's thinking hard. It's like he was trying to see through me, to read me. I couldn't move or speak, it didn't seem right. Something told me to just wait. So I did.

"What are you thinking?" He finally whispered. I blinked, my focus going from his eyes to his lips. What do I tell him? 'I'm thinking about how every time you touch your girlfriend I want to yank my heart out?' No! I think I'll pass on that one.

"I was just thinking about….stuff." I said simply, looking away. There wasn't a better excuse that came to mind at the time. I felt Edward's cool finger lift up chin to look at him and then drop to his side. Our eyes locked again, and his were serious, yet curious too.

"Bella…." He started. I sighed, knowing he was going to insist and no matter what he wasn't going to believe me. I had to say something. I couldn't say what I felt about him and his wife, I mean I can imagine the embarrassment right now, and that thought makes my cheeks red. Edward noticed. "You're blushing." He stated. Oh crap. I pursed my lips, until I said the first thing that came to mind.

"I was thinking about Derek." I blurted out, and almost immediately covered my mouth. I just told Edward I was thinking about sex with my husband. What the hell is that about? Edward looked at me with a frown, for a moment, his eyes getting darker. "I was thinking about the time he saved me from the ocean. It was embarrassing." I added. I didn't want Edward to get the wrong impression, and whatever brought that frown, I wanted it to disappear. Edward's eyes lit up again in interest, but the frown never faded.

"What happened in the ocean?" He asked curiously. I didn't want to tell him because I knew that it would have to go back to the past, but I was way into deep and he was going to keep insisting on it, and I didn't want him to hear it from Derek. I sighed pointing at a couple seats in the back. They looked comfortable enough. He followed me as I wobbled my way over there, and took a seat. I sat down in the beanbag which was big enough for two, so Edward sat down next to me. I could smell his scent from here. He always did smell good. It was like man cologne, but nothing could match up to it because at the same time it was very sweet. The funny part was, he didn't wear any perfume or AXE, or nothing. That was _his_ smell. I smiled as I took in another whiff of his sweet scent.

"What are you smiling about?" Edward asked.

Without thinking I blurted out, "I was thinking about how you smell so good, I remember that since we were in high school." I started blushing. I really need to shut my mouth. Edward just grinned happily at me.

"Alright, well what happened in the ocean?" He asked, returning back to the original subject. I thought hard for a moment.

"Well, it was a couple months after I went to California. I wasn't really in the mood to do anything….." I said carefully, trying hard not to let him know what pain I was going through exactly. Edward nodded, his mouth back to a small frown. I continued.

"So, I had a lot of crazy moments in California. There were a lot of times, that I wasn't….um….thinking." I said, still trying to keep this as simple as possible. Edward nodded, slightly frowning. "So, I went to the beach one day, for a um…..swim….." I said. I didn't want to mention how it was actually to try and maybe kill myself. I wasn't suicidal, but my knowledge with the storm, wasn't absent. I knew it was coming, but I was slightly hoping it could do me some damage.

Edward looked at me skeptically, like if he didn't believe me. That made me swallow hard. I looked down at my hands, trying to ignore his stare, but it was no use, I could feel it right now, and the worst part, was that it didn't make me uncomfortable, or nervous. I started playing with my hands.

"So, there was a storm that day….and I….um….didn't know." I said stealing a glance at him, but his face had gone hard, showing no emotions, and his eyes flat and dark. "So I jumped in the water, and I almost drowned, and Derek saved me. When I finally reacted after mouth to mouth, the first thing he asked me was, 'Are you trying to kill yourself, you crazy girl.'" I chuckled darkly, because at the time, Derek didn't know the truth of his own words.

Beside me Edward was as still as a statue. I was too afraid to look up at him, to risk the chance of him seeing right through me. I kept my gaze on the wooden floor, making patterns that didn't even exist. It seemed like forever until Edward finally moved. His head snapped to look at me.

"You tried to kill yourself." He stated in a low, fierce whisper. I pursed my lips. I knew I couldn't lie to him, he would know. I finally let out a gush of air, and nodded. I was still too afraid to meet his eyes.

"Why?" He whispered. I shook my head, hanging my head down. I let my hands rub soothing circles on my belly. "Was it that bad? Bella can't you tell me exactly how bad I hurt you? Was it so bad that you had to try and kill yourself? Did you even think about what that would do to us? To me?" He asked, still in a low voice. I looked down, the guilt filling in through me. I hadn't even considered those possibilities.

"Edward, it wasn't you that hurt me." He tried to cut me off, but I shook my head. I needed to explain this to him. "Edward, it wasn't you that hurt me. I hurt myself. I knew it was a big risk to fall in love with you. I mean, you know how love is, once you're in, you can't get out." I tried to explain. I heard him mutter something along the lines of, "No, I don't know." But, I tried to ignore it and continue.

"When I fell in love with you, there was no escape. I knew that, and I was willing to hurt myself. You found Alex, and she's your other half and-" He cut me off.

"Other half." He snorted. I looked at him confused. What is up with him? I ignored that and continued. I would ask him later.

"Yes, other half. She and you belong together. So, I wasn't part of that picture." Once again he cut me off.

"Yes you were." He practically growled. My temper grew.

"Where Edward? Where was I part of that? As the girl who stood in the back, watching and crying? You think I deserved that?" I regretted it the minute the words came out, because the pain and guilt in Edward's eyes was too much. I shook my head.

"I'm sorry. Look, what I'm trying to say, is that it's not your fault that you couldn't love me. It happens. Shit happens. You didn't want me, and that's fine. As long as I could have still been your friend I was ok. But, I felt like everything was slipping away from me. You….Esme, Carlisle, Rose, Emmett, Alice and Jasper….it felt like Alex was taking my spot." I felt the tears start to form, at the memories, and as much as I wanted to shut up, I couldn't. "I felt like everything that I had formed for myself was being taken away from me. So it really wasn't your fault Edward. I was in pain, and I felt loss, that was my own fault. You didn't do anything. I felt like…..like if everything I had worked for, was for Alex, like if she was supposed to be in my shoes this whole time, I was just setting everything up for her."

I broke into sobs by that point. Everything that I had been keeping in me for three whole years, just spilled out. All the nights that I cried myself to sleep couldn't match up to all the tears that I was letting out now. I couldn't stop myself. All Edward could do, was sit me on his lap, and hug me. I buried my face in his chest, and wrapped my arms around him, tightly, holding on for dear god. He just held me tight to his body, holding me just like I was holding him, like if it was our last moments, like if it could kill us. He didn't know what to do with me, or himself. One moment, he would be whispering in my ear, to calm me down, and another he'd be kissing my cheek or my forehead. Then he would grab on to me with all his might, like if his life depended on it.

At one point, I felt his body shake under mine, and I realized we were both crying. We were both sobbing like idiots, but it was ok. Because we both needed to. This whole time, I just needed someone to cry with, I just didn't know it was Edward. I didn't know it was Edward, who had to hold me. I didn't know it was Edward who had to be crying with me, or kissing away my tears, his lips passing right over my cheeks and eyelids. I had no idea it was him who could heal me, when he was the one who broke me. I didn't know it was him who could hold me so tightly, that my belly would explode, and still make me feel comfortable. I didn't know.

I also didn't know that it was me who could make this beautiful creature cry, and comfort him at the same time. I didn't know it was my neck who he wanted to bury his face in. I didn't know it was me who could wrap my arms fully around him, and I didn't know it was me who he was suppose to hold onto with all his power. I didn't know it was me who was supposed to wash away his tears from his eyes with my own lips. I didn't know it was me who he wanted to cry with, and I didn't know it was me who he wanted to hold onto. I didn't know. But then again there is a lot of things I don't know.

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**If you have any suggestions, or any thoughts, or questions, just tell me. I would really like to know what people think about this chapter, and what your guesses might be on Edward's thoughts or something. Either way it would be nice if you review, because to be honest, the only reason I keep posting this up is because of the reviews that people still actually want to keep reading it. So thanks guys, let's keep it up. lol. **


	5. Straight Jacket feeling

**Oh my cheese crackers! lol. Well thank you all for reviewing and reading. I'm glad you all enjoyed, and I was surprised that I actually caught some of you're emotional sides. lmao. Well, this was a quick chapter I came up with. It's not really, like a good chapter, but it's very important in my opinion because it shows some history between Edward and Bella, and it really goes deeper into the relationship between Alex and Bella too. It also explains a couple stuff. If you guys have any questions, you know to ask me, and I will happily answer. :) Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but since this is an E/B story (eventually) Derek needs someone, and I get him ALL to myself! muahahahaha! I'll share...lol. **

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**B.P.O.V**

"_Please Edward stop! I'm going to puke!" I begged. I grabbed on to the sides of the silver cart for dear life. Why had I agreed to sit in it? I should have known he would do this. "Edward!" I screeched as he ran faster and faster, pushing the cart through the aisle. He just laughed that musical laugh of his, making my insides melt. _

"_Come on Bella!" He laughed out loud. I rolled my eyes, holding tighter to the cart. I looked forward to see what he was doing. He was going to run into that pile of cans! _

"_Ah!" I screeched as the cart came to a sudden stop. My chest heaved up and down as I held onto myself from falling off the cart. We almost hit that freaking pile! Suddenly I felt pressure under my knees and back, and felt my butt leave from the cart. That's when I noticed Edward was carrying me. I laughed hiding my face in his chest. _

"_You suck." I stated simply, covering my eyes with my hands. I always loved being in his arms. Times like these were just the best, the times when we could just act like a couple of 16 year olds, when in reality we were twenty. I felt his chest shake, from under my face as he laughed. I looked up at him. _

"_I know." He finally replied. He put me down on the floor, as I straightened down my shirt, my cheeks already red. "So, you want cereal right?" He asked. He turned his body grabbing a box, and throwing it in the cart with a smirk. I rolled my eyes, and pushed the cart forward. _

_This was a normal routine, just going out to the market together. I don't know why we don't just live together already. I mean we sleep over each others apartment all the time, we shop together, we go to appointments together, we call each other every morning and every night……it's almost like if we were a couple. Oh how I would enjoy being Edward's girlfriend. I know that maybe he wouldn't like me like that, but there is still some hope in me, that he could possibly see me that way some day. I blushed at the thought. _

"_Bella, earth to Bella!" Edward called, taking me out of my day dreams. _

"_Huh?" I asked looking up at him. _

"_I said there is someone I want you to meet." He said. I looked at him confused. "Well, I met this girl the other day……her name is Alex……" That's all it took. I felt my heart start to speed up. _

_I hate him having a girlfriend, those few months of them together always get me upset. Why would he want me to meet her? He never does that. _

"_And?" I asked flatly. Edward looked at me shocked. _

"_I want to introduce you." He explained. I looked at him hard. I was concentrating all I could not to cry, and to calm down the fluttering of my heart. _

"_What's your point?" I asked again, almost yelling. Edward looked taken aback. I sighed. "I mean, why do you want me to meet her?" I asked more softly this time, my voice shaking a bit. _

"_Because you're very important to me Bells." He explained. I shook my head, looking down. I knew I was going to cry. I just knew it. So I did the only thing I could do. I agreed. _

The dream started to change, the scenery becoming another distant memory that I didn't want to go back to.

"_Bella, I can't wait for you to meet her." Edward said happily, his eyes sparkling. My heart wasn't doing very well at this point. I merely shook my head. _

"_How do I look?" He asked turning to me. I looked him up and down. How much I wish those arms were going to wrap themselves around me instead of this new random girl. I tried to smile at him. _

"_You look perfect." I said. He smiled and walked over to me. I bit my lip. Ok, maybe I wished that his arms were wrapped around me, but now I take it back. I don't want his arms around me. This is too much. I held my breath trying not to take in his scent, as he held me to his chest. Oh god. Too late. I can smell him perfectly. He placed a tender kiss on the top of my head, letting his face dig into my hair. Why does he do this to me? He wants to kill me doesn't he? There was a sudden clear of the throat behind us, and Edward let one of his arms drop, keeping his other around my shoulders, as he turned us around to face the person. There she stood. _

_She was gorgeous, as my worst fears had expected. She was blonde straight hair, and taller than me by at least five inches. Unlike me, who was 5'4 she could reach Edward's 6'3 height pretty well. She had the perfect tan, gold in all its glory. The only thing that wasn't perfect about her was her pitch black eyes, and even then, they still looked beautiful as they were framed with perfect thick black eyelashes. _

_Edward smiled as he brought me forward to her. _

"_Alex, this is Bella." He said, giving my shoulder an extra squeeze. Alex looked at me with a small smile , and her black eyes filled with some hidden emotion and sadness as she took a look from me to Edward. I didn't know what was wrong with this girl, but as soon as Edward left my side to go hold onto her hand, I knew my heart was going to explode._

"Edward! No!" I screamed, sitting up quickly. The tears were staining my cheeks, and my body was shaking. Derek was already holding me, and all I could do was cry.

"Bella, please….shh…..what's wrong?" Derek asked. I shook my head, my body still shaking from the sobs. I felt tired, in a way, but too scared to go back to sleep and have to reencounter those nightmares.

"No-nothing." I stuttered. Derek just held me in the envelope of his arms.

"You were screaming Edward's name, honey." Derek whispered. I nodded, knowing fully well what I had screamed.

"My head hurts." I said, as the sharp pain came to me.

"You want some water and an Advil?" He asked. I nodded, and he placed a kiss on my forehead before walking out of the room.

**E.P.O.V**

We could all hear her screams. They were loud and clear, and ringing through the walls of our rooms. It started out as a soft voice, she was calling my name, and I enjoyed it, smiling to myself. She would laugh, and then say my name again. It felt good to hear, and I wouldn't go to sleep until she was done saying my name. Alex had been resting on my chest when it happened.

"Edward!" She had yelled my name out, screeching and crying. I could hear the stirs upstairs, as her screams started to wake up my family. I frowned. Why was she screaming my name? What was she dreaming about? It was a nightmare that was for sure. I could hear her sobs, and I was ready to cry myself.

Today I had really cried with her. I had cried so much with Bella. I don't even know what happened. But I think that it was as soon as the thought of her dieing hit my mind, I had already wanted to break down. When she started to cry, all I could do was hold her in my arms and comfort her, but I had soon found myself crying too, and I was no longer hold her to comfort her. I was holding her for selfish reasons.

I didn't know what to do with myself, and I must admit that when we came back to the house, everything felt right. It's like if the string that held us together was finally tied up and secure. But right now, as she yelled my name in fear and plea, I could almost hear the tears pouring down her cheeks, and it made pools of tears want to start in my own eyes.

I could hear the doors up stairs start to open, and I looked over at Alex who was carrying a worried expression.

"Go tell them to stay in their rooms." I instructed her, and she nodded eagerly, willing to do anything to help Bella. I got up myself, not even bothering to wear a shirt, and ran out of my room and into the hall. The cries had stopped about a minute ago, and all I could hear were the gentle whispers from Derek and Bella's sniffling.

I ran across the hall, almost knocking a desperate looking Derek down.

"Is she ok?" I asked, concern dripping along with hysteria through my voice. Derek nodded.

"Yea, her head hurts. It was just a nightmare. It happens all the time." He assured.

"I know." I practically snapped. He didn't have to shove the fact that he gets to stay with her 24/7 in my face. I knew perfectly from all my sleepovers with Bella, that she had nightmares. Derek didn't look troubled at all. He just shifted from foot to foot.

"I'm going to get her some Advil." He announced. I nodded.

"I think we're out though." I warned he nodded before running down the stairs. I walked to Bella's room, taking a deep breath.

When I entered she was on the bed, with her head on her hands, her tiny frame shaking from the sobs. I sighed, practically jumping on the bed, next to her. She didn't even look up, she just leaned into me. I leaned my back against the headboard of the bead, and laid my legs out, letting Bella rest her head on my chest, and wrap her arms around me.

"It was about me wasn't it?" I whispered. Bella didn't do anything, she just kept crying, the tears slowly soaking my shirt. "I'm so sorry Bella." I whispered kissing her hair. She just shook her head, finally calming down.

"Edward, it was just a bad dream." She assured. "It just made me sad." She sobbed. "Please, don't feel bad, it was, ac-actually, ab-about me lo-losing you." She stuttered through the sobs. I nodded my head. Her explanation made me feel better, and all I wanted to do was hug her close to me and calm her down. She relaxed after a couple minutes, her breathing becoming deeper by the second. I sighed finally getting comfortable on the soft mattress. I remember the day I walked by this room, and found Bella knotted together with Derek. Now it's me who's holding her and comforting her. I remember that day Derek was able to get her up and joyful again, and now it's me who's doing it. Her _real_ best friend. I smiled at the thought. I finally had my place back, and Derek could be her _husband_ while I could be her _best friend_ like I was meant to. Speaking of Derek…..

"Sorry! I couldn't find the Advil. You were right. I had to settle for Tylenol…." He came in, and as he spoke, and took in the scene before him, his voice turned lower and lower.

I couldn't help but smirk for some odd reason. How must we look? Bella's head on my chest, with her tiny arms wrapped around me, and our legs tangled together, as my own arms wrapped around her back and head, playing with a strand of her luscious hair.

Yep, that must have strike an itch on Derek's head. Good, now he knows how I feel when I have to see him taking my place.

Derek suddenly smiled lightly, and softly looking at only Bella. My smirk turned to a frown.

"Are you ok with this?" I found myself asking. Derek looked up at me, and nodded, looking untroubled. "This doesn't bother you?" I asked with a bit of an edge. Is this guy perfect or something? Was he made of some perfect material? Well why don't we all go on eBay then and buy this material?! What is it on sale or something?!

"Why would it?" He whispered back. "That's my ring around her finger, and my child in her belly. As long as I have that, it's all the reassurance I need. I have faith in her, and if what she needs is to be in her best friend's arms and not mine, even if her best friend is a guy, then its ok. As long as it's what's best for her, then I don't mind." He said, love filling his eyes. I wonder what it would feel like to be in love so deeply like him. I'm not saying I'm not in love with Alex, I am. But, the love he feels for Bella…..it's crazy.

"Even if it means leaving her?" I whispered back fiercely. I don't know what was getting into me. I really didn't understand why I was acting this way towards Derek.

"Even if it means leaving her." He said. I could see he was being real sincere. I sighed, letting my fingers play more deeply into Bella's soft hair.

"You really love her." I whispered. I figured I might as well call it truce, even though we were never really in a fight. Derek nodded.

"Yes." He said simply, looking back at her. "I'm going to go tell your wife that you're here. I don't want to wake Bella up by moving, besides, she looks more relaxed in your arms." He whispered, walking towards the door. Before he left, he snuck one more glance at me and said, "Edward, you love her too. A lot." With that, he walked out into the hall.

I rolled my eyes with a snort. Of course I loved Bella. She was my best friend, and I cared way too much for her. I'm not an idiot, I knew that before Derek even thought about it.

I sighed looking down at Bella's sleeping face. Her cheeks were glistening from the little left over tears, and her big belly was visible through Emmett's shirt. I moved my hand down from her hair to her belly. I loved the feel of it.

When I had asked if I could touch it this morning, I felt this electricity. I don't even know how to explain it, but I liked it. It felt like another way to be closer to Bella. It felt right.

Finally just like that, I snuggled closer to my best friend, and closed my eyes.

_You lover her too…A lot. _ Were my last thoughts.

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**B.P.O.V**

I felt the grey light as it shined through my eye lids. I let myself soak up the feeling, snuggling closer to Derek, and tightening my arms around him and my legs too. It didn't really feel like Derek though. He was much more muscular feeling now, and his skin was smoother and warmer than usual. I also didn't feel the same wrapping myself around him today, than other days. I felt like I fit better into his arms now.

I opened my eyes when his scent started to change too, as my consciousness started coming back to me from my sleep. I gasped, as I realized who it was I was snuggling next to, and I immediately blushed and let him go. Edward.

Edward's eyes snapped open and he looked down at me. A smiled spread his face, and then it turned into a frown, confusion covering his beautiful facial features.

"Edward?" I whispered. My heart was beating in my ears, and a million questions popped in my head. He looked at me for a moment, before his face changed to realization.

"Yesterday I came to comfort you and you fell asleep. Derek told me to stay with you, so then I fell asleep too." He explained, in a rush.

I finally understood, as last nights events rushed in through me. That's right! The dream! The dream….how can I forget that? It was a very hard memory to revisit. I sighed turning on my side to get off the bed. I had a lot of thinking to do. I turned to the door, as I grabbed my bag of toiletries. Before I walked out, I turned to look at Edward, whom was in very deep thought, his cheeks slightly pink.

"Edward?" I called, catching his attention. "Thanks." I said softly as I walked out the door.

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_Come on Bella, do it. _ I told myself mentally. I had to do it. I had to go in and ask her. All morning the thought had been stuck with me, and I couldn't back down now. I had to know. I had to ask. I finally took a deep breath, deciding to just go in and ask her.

I opened the door and walked into her bedroom. She was there, sitting on the bed with a magazine in her hands, her new reading glasses framed her face.

"Alex?" I asked, walking closer to her. Her eyes snapped up to meet mine, and surprise flickered through them.

"Bella?" She said completely shocked. I smiled weakly. "What can I do for you?" She asked, putting the glossy looking magazine on the nightstand, and sitting up straight.

I walked to the end of the bed, taking a seat. She scooted forward, and with a perfectly manicured finger, flicked her glasses off.

"I need to ask you something." I finally said after a couple moments of silence.

Alex looked at me expectantly, waiting. I thought it was now or never, so with a deep breath I opened my mouth.

"Alex, remember that first time I met you?" I asked. It was a good way to start. Ever since my dream last night I had been wondering.

"Yes." She said warily. I looked down at my hands.

"Well, you see, I was wondering….that day you looked at me….sad….and I don't know there was something off. I was wondering if…." I trailed off. I knew I sounded ridiculous. How could she remember that? To my surprise, Alex let out a low chuckle.

"Yes. I remember." She said. Her face became suddenly serious, and I could hear my heart rate getting higher, as she turned to look at me. "Bella, I was jealous of you." She said. I stared at her shocked.

She was jealous of me? What? When? Why? What on earth would she be jealous of? I tried to search through my memory to try and find any sign of jealousy that she could have ever given me, or anything that I could have done or worn for her to be jealous. Alex chuckled once more, but without humor.

"That makes no sense." I finally said. Alex took a deep breath.

"Bella I was jealous of you. I mean could you imagine what it felt like to see this guy you liked holding some gorgeous girl in his arms, looking down at her with full devotion and love?" She asked her voice a bit hysterical as she explained. "Bella you don't see yourself clearly. Here was Edward, this guy I liked, and when I come into the restaurant, he's snuggling up with some girl. When I call his attention, and I really got a look of your face, I almost had a heart attack. How was I supposed to stand a chance to that?" She said pointing up and down my body with her hand. I blushed.

"I mean honestly Bella. He was holding you so tight to him, and then the way he looked down at you with full admiration, and just the emotion and…..I just wished someone could look at me that way. I mean do you have any idea what was going through my mind? Do you have any idea how I felt?" She asked quietly. The answer was, yes. I did know how she felt, because I had been feeling it all along three years ago. All this information from her added more things for me to think about.

"I do know EXACTLY how you felt." I said stressing the _exactly._ "Alex, I didn't know. I mean you had to have known, that Edward and I were best friends. There was no reason for you to be jealous, because everyone in the Cullen family looks at me the same way." I told her. It was true. They all did. They all loved me the same exact way. Alex shook her head, a bit frustrated.

"No Bella. You don't get it, it's not just that, it's-"

"Bella! Come here for a second!" Esme's voice rang from downstairs, interrupting Alex. I looked at her.

"I'm sorry. I'll talk to you later." I said getting up. "And Alex?" I called from the door. She looked up at me with worried eyes, which confused me. "Thanks." I said. She nodded, and I turned out the door.

**So THANK YOU again for reviewing last time, I was soooooo sooooo surprised, and that's why I updated so quickly. so yea. lol. Let's see if we can review that much again...or MORE. lmao. I'm just kidding, but it would be nice. lmao. Ok, well something you guys haven't realized, is that every chapter so far has been named after a song. lol. I did that for my other story Love Is Gone, and I personally enjoy doing it, because it shows another perceptive to the chapters, and music is really important for me to write. So yea. Review! lol.**


	6. you make me smile

**Thank you all for reviewing, once more. lol. Now, I don't know if any of you have noticed yet…..but I have named all of my chapters after a song. I know I did it for Love Is Gone, but I just couldn't help it and did it for here too. I do suggest that you read the lyrics for this chapter's song, and maybe for the first chapter, 'congratulations'. Why? Because the lyrics would explain it all. Both songs are from Blue October, and now that I think about it, most of my songs here are from Blue October, except Straight Jacket feeling by AAR, and Cool by Gwen S. You know what? Just read all the lyrics for all the songs, because they're really pretty and you'd be surprised how much they match the chapters. Ok. I'm done.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

"**You make me smile"**

**You need to check out the lyrics to this song.**

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"Ok, it's your turn." Bella said with a big smirk on her face. I rolled my eyes.

"Ok, fine. I pick truth." I said.

We had been playing truth or dare for the past hour, but it's mostly been just truth, due to the fact that after Bella made me lick pepper off the floor, stick dirt in my boxers, and wear a bra, I decided that was enough dares for me.

"Chicken." She said quietly with a grin. I glared at her. It wasn't that I was chicken; I just simply didn't want to be humiliated anymore. Plus, I hadn't seen her pick a dare yet.

"Will you go and ask already?" I said a bit impatient. Bella grimaced.

"Fine, mister grouchy….gosh. Alright let's see." She said with a thoughtful look. I stared at her, as her eyes glazed over, and her forehead crinkled, making some of the loose strands of hair fall into her eyes. I had a sudden urge to push them away, but I held my hand tight to my side. I wonder what Bella is thinking.

"Any day now Bella." I said with a laugh, but her face only got serious then, all trace of humor gone as she stared me down.

"When is your anniversary with Alex?" I looked at her shocked. That was unexpected.

I opened my mouth, ready to answer, when I realized I didn't even know the answer. It was quite weird though. I thought about it. When is our anniversary? I remember it was somewhere in August, when I first asked her out. Or was it May? Yea it was May. Right? Lord, why don't I know this?! In fact now that I think about it, I haven't even talked to Alex today. I haven't even thought about her. I suddenly felt guilty. Oh boy, I wonder how she must feel. Bella seemed to notice my distress, because she suddenly sighed.

"Edward, its August 30th." Bella said. Ok how on earth did she know that? Not even I knew that, how could she possibly know? "You guys started going out exactly two weeks before my birthday." She answered my unspoken question.

"Oh." That was the only thing I could say.

"I think you should go see Alex, we'll talk later." Bella said, lifting herself from the floor with some trouble. I got up too. I didn't want Bella to leave, I was having so much fun, but at the same time, I had to talk to Alex. Before Bella left she pecked me on the cheek, her warm lips lingering on my skin for a second more, before she turned around and left.

I put my hand up to my cheek suddenly. It was still all tingly from that. I shook my head. What was I thinking? It was Bella; it's not that big of a deal. Lord. I turned on my heel and walked to the hallway.

Alex was in the living room, reading a magazine. I walked up to her, taking a deep breath. She didn't move. I knew I needed to talk to her, and I had an idea of what to say, but when she finally looked up at me, I forgot everything. She had such a strange look. It was a knowing look…..almost like if she knew. What she knew, was a mystery to me, but it was just expectant, and sad. I sat down next to her.

"Alex, I'm sorry that I've been ignoring you, it's just……I don't know." Ok, that's not how I wanted to start things off, but I'll take it.

"It's ok Edward. I know. Bella is here, and you want to spend time with her. I was expecting that." Alex said with a small smile. I wrapped my arms around her with a sigh.

"Oh Alex. It's just, she's going to leave, and I haven't seen her in three years and-" She cut me off.

"No, Edward it's fine. I caused the separation between you two, and now you just want to hang out. I'm not going to get in the way again." With that she untangled herself from my arms and walked away. I stared after her, a puzzled look on my face.

Is she blaming herself for everything that happened between me and Bella? Why would she do that? She has to understand that it wasn't her fault. That was in the past, and before the rest of these two weeks ended, we needed to make the most of it, so why is she making this more difficult by saying that? I ran my hand through my hair.

"Hey." Bella's voice made me jump nearly three feet in the air. "Are you ok?" She asked, as I took in deep breaths.

"I'm fine, you just scared me." I said. She smiled slightly and then sat next to me. She was wearing a baby doll dress today, and you could see her stomach perfectly, especially as she wrapped her arms around it.

"Did you talk to Alex?" Bella asked. There was a hint of curiosity in her voice. I nodded my head slowly. I didn't want to tell her about the conversation; all she needed to know was that I really did talk to her.

"You want to just watch a movie?" I asked. Bella shrugged, getting comfortable in the couch as I got up and started rummaging through movies under the TV set. I didn't even see which disk I got. Alice had them all out of their boxes, so I just grabbed any. I popped it in, and turned the lights to the living room off. Bella had gotten the small blanket that Emmett had left last night in the other couch, and wrapped around herself. I sat down next to her and got under the blanket with her. My skin lightly touched hers and I felt the electricity, very thick, and the warmth in the blanket was turning into unbearable heat, but I didn't move.

Bella was still, her eyes glued to the TV screen. I watched her face as the previews popped up and a small smile would appear every once in a while on her lips. It wasn't until it had turned to a frown that I noticed exactly what was playing on the TV.

"My Best friend's wedding?" Bella asked. Her eyes were wide, and her forehead wrinkled. I could see that her eyes were turning a bit flat, and darker. I should have looked to see what movie it was that I had picked. Great, now Bella is upset. I'm an idiot.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. "I'll change it." But before I could move an inch, Bella's hand was on my thigh, stopping me. I took a deep gulp, from the feeling of her hand on my thigh, and I had to shut myself immediately from any thoughts. I was surprised at myself that I could get this worked up.

"No, it's just weird is all. I haven't watched it in a really long time." Bella said with a light shrug, turning her head to the TV once more. She let her hand leave my thigh, and I felt the warmness of it, even though it was just a ghost of the real thing. I sighed frustratingly with myself. Maybe I haven't been getting enough time with Alex……

"Alright." I said. The movie started, and as it showed the friendship between Julia Roberts, and the other lead, I couldn't help but notice how much it reminded me of Bella and I. Then when he told her he loved Kimberly, I couldn't stop the sharp pain that hit me. It reminded me way too much of exactly what happened with me and Bella.

I barely paid attention to the movie after that. I just paid attention to Bella. I watched as she bit her lip, and felt when she would flinch, every time something happened in the movie. I could see as her eyes filled with emotion, and they started to water. Her lips started quivering, and she bit down harder on them to stop their shaking. I watched as she wrapped her arms around herself. That's when I noticed it; this movie was like a mirror to Bella on all the bad experience she had to go through.

I felt horrible, so like the good friend I am, I put my arm out and wrapped it around her shoulders, bringing her as close to me as I could. She laid her head on my chest, and I let my fingers run through her impossibly soft hair as I listened to her sniffle.

I decided to finally pay attention to the movie when it came to an end. I watched as the best friend left her, for Kimberly. I became suddenly pissed, at how this man could choose Kimberly over his friend, who is so much better. But then, I remembered that I did the same thing. I had done the same exact thing to Bella, and I suddenly wondered why.

Why had I chosen Alex over Bella? Sure, I loved Alex more than Bella….at the time. Is it still the same now? Alex is gorgeous, and calm and nice, but Bella, is beautiful in such a simple way, that it's exotic, and beyond words. Bella is sweet and innocent, and a great person, but at the same time she has that fire, that stubbornness, and that wittiness that keeps you up all night just to hear more of it.

I shook my head. Why was I thinking about this? I mean, it's not like I was going to change my mind about Alex…. Plus even if I did, Bella is with Derek now, and a baby on its way. No, I couldn't think of this. I looked up at the TV on time to see the guy as he said his final goodbye, and it pissed me off even more because not even I could say my final goodbye to Bella. I instead had created a mess.

I looked down at her, but as I did, I noticed her eyes were closed, and her breathing deep, as she slept. I smiled and placed a small kiss on he forehead.

"Goodnight." I whispered.

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"Edward……Bella…….wake up….." I heard a soft voice in my ear. I have actually been hearing it for a while now, and it is quite annoying. It won't shut up. I stirred again, making my feet tangle with another pair of legs. I smiled softly, as I laid my cheek against a soft pillow of hair, and tightened my arms around the smooth, cool, figure next to me.

Wait a second……Bella? Oh shit. I immediately gasped, letting Bella go, and falling on my back, off the couch.

"Ow." I rubbed the back of my head. That really hurt. I looked up to see Emmett staring at me with his eyes full of amusement. It seems somehow Bella and I managed to fall asleep in the couch last night. When I peaked a glance at her, I noticed how there was a small smile on her lips, and her chest heaved up and down slowly, and her face was smoothed and relaxed. I smiled as I watched her, until _someone_ cleared their throat. I looked at Emmett, already annoyed.

"What?" I spat. Emmett just chuckled, as I got myself off the floor.

"Nothing…..it just looked like you had a comfy night." He said wiggling his eyebrows. I rolled my eyes, and walked past him to the stairs.

It was true though, I did get a comfy sleep last night. I smiled to myself as I walked towards my bedroom. As I opened the door, I found myself face to face with Alex.

"Alex!" I exclaimed, giving her a quick peck. I felt myself grinning like an idiot.

"Someone is happy today." Alex noticed. I looked at her confused. Was I really that much happier? I shrugged and walked past her to my bathroom. As I did my usual morning routines, I looked in the mirror.

I tried to see any obvious changes, or anything that could indicate my newfound happiness. What I saw was quite weird. My eyes were impossibly green, almost lime to be exact. My hair was more disheveled than usual, but not in the stressed out way it usually is, it's more of a free look, and my cheeks were slightly pink from the morning's rush. My pale skin was glowing more, and my lips were in a contagious smile. I wondered for a quick second if Bella was contagious, because the way I looked right now reminded me of her, always glowing.

I shook my head and headed for my room, grabbing a pair of new jeans and a t-shirt.

By the time I made it downstairs, everyone was sitting in the table eating breakfast. Everyone except Bella. I felt myself frown. Where did she go? I walked a bit slumped to the table and sat down on an empty chair. There was another empty chair next to me, but I ignored it as I looked around for some toast. My mom was looking at me weird, with a joyous smile that matched Alice's and Emmett's. Jasper had a small smile too, while Carlisle just grinned. I shrugged and looked at Alex. She looked worried for some reason. It was weird. What did she have to be worried about? I looked at Derek, but he looked too deep in thought.

"Alice, did you have to make me wear this?" I knew that voice. All eyes went to my face as a huge grin broke out effortlessly. I couldn't help it. I had to smile. Bella walked into full view for us to see her. She was wearing a white baby doll tank top, with a deep V-neck, showing her obvious new….um…er…_growth…._if you catch my drift. Alice seemed to have put her in a pair of skinny jeans too. In other words, it looked like a designer maternity clothe, and she looked gorgeous as usual wearing it. She scratched below her belly uncomfortably, the elastic of the jeans bothering her. Alice was the first to look away form my face to stare at Bella. I also noticed how Alex's frown deepened and she looked down at her untouched toast. Hey, if she didn't want it, I would take it.

"Bella it's stylish mama clothing." Alice said in 'duh' tone. Bella rolled her eyes but walked around the table and took the empty seat next to me, but not before giving me a huge smile and a squeeze on the shoulder.

I smiled back at her, feeling the warmth of her hand as she pressed it to my shoulder.

"Well, what are we doing today?" Emmett finally asked. Alice smiled.

"I was thinking we could go to that new museum that opened up. You know? The Ripley's Believe it Or not? They opened up a new one, and I wanted to go check it out." Alice said with a simple shrug. I looked around to see everyone's reaction. Derek was still deep in thought, but seemed to have heard Alice. Alex was just looking down at her food, while the rest of the family had an excited look. I turned to see what Bella thought. She had a big grin on her face.

"I think that would be fun." She said. I smiled happily and turned back to my eggs.

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"Come on! Let's get going! There is a lot of things to see!" Alice said practically jumping up and down, as we all walked in through the stairs. There were a lot of different models around us. There were glass boxes that held things like a piece of skin with a tattoo on it, or the smallest sculpture ever. I watched as I walked behind Bella, Alex clutching my hand as she stared at the weird things. Derek had his arm around Bella, holding her to his chest as she laughed at the things that we would walk by.

I smiled. It was a normal Bella thing to do. I should have known she would be making fun of everything instead of actually being creeped out. As we walked forward, I heard Alice suddenly screech, ahead of us, which made Alex leave my hand and walk forward to her.

"What?" Alex asked. Alice looked forward, at a huge shoe, the size of my leg.

"That is the biggest shoe I have ever seen! Who would wear that?!" She practically yelled. I chuckled.

"Dude! Check this baseball bat!" Emmett called, in which Jasper and Derek followed. Alice, Alex and Rose kept walking one way while the guys another, and I soon noticed we were going to separate. I looked at Bella, who was just checking out a humongous Ferris wheel.

"It's the biggest toy Ferris wheel ever." I said, causing her to jump. She smiled when she finally caught her breath.

"It's so pretty." She commented. Her eyes wandered around the wheel, and all the pretty colors. "It's the concept of it. The fact that it's a toy wheel is every kids dream. To be able to take these wonderful rides home with them, but at the same time, it's big. We all have big dreams. It's the perfect life size toy and genius puzzle piece if you think about it. The largest toy wheel."

It was things like this that I admired about Bella. She was being perceptive in a way that was too much of a high level for us to understand, yet she was able to make us see it her way, and to comprehend what she was saying.

"Very deep Ms. Swan." I joked. She elbowed me playfully as we kept on walking together.

"So what's up with you and Alex? Are you guys fighting or something?" Bella asked suddenly, not meeting my gaze. I was wondering what she could possibly be thinking until I actually understood her question. What did she mean by me and Alex?

"No….why?" I asked confused. Bella shrugged.

"I don't know, you guys just…..seem distant from each other." She said, shrugging it off as nothing. I hadn't really noticed anything between me and Alex. Was there something I wasn't noticing or doing wrong? I sighed. "Don't worry, it's probably just me." Bella assured, patting my arm. I instinctively, grabbed her hand, just like I usually do with Alex, but instead of letting go, when our skin made contact, I felt that same energy I always do.

"Why does that I always happen?" I said placing Bella's hand more firmly in mine. Through the dim light of the confusing maze we were in, I could see Bella's blush. She shrugged.

"I have no idea." She mumbled. I sighed, grabbing more firmly to her hand. There was no way I was going to let her get lost here. She didn't seem reluctant to hold on to my hand anyway, so I just held it as I dragged her through different passage ways, until we finally made it to this one place with different machines. Their were love machines, and luck ones, even a fortune telling one, then I spotted a photo booth one. I smiled grabbing Bella and taking her with me to the booth.

"Edward no!" She pleaded, but I sat her in it anyway. We barely fit thanks to her belly. We took a couple pictures. One was me making a face with Bella, while the other was us both with our tongues out. We took a serious one, and a normal smiling one, and then there was one where she wrapped her arms around my neck, and kissed my cheek. It wasn't till I saw the picture that I noticed my pink cheeks and goofy grin as I looked down at the floor. Of course since it is Ripley's there is always a catch. The catch was in the back, where in every picture, they made it seem like we were in retarded shapes, or colors. There was even one where they made my face in Bella's body and Bella's in my body, which looked awkward. We decided just to never pay attention to the back of the strips.

We laughed as we finally made our way out of the maze. I was practically chasing Bella, trying to tickle her. When we got to the front, everyone was already there, ready to leave.

"Did you two have fun?" Esme asked sweetly. Bella and I nodded, unable to keep our laughter in. It was a great day over all. "Good, let's go get something to eat." Esme said with a smile.

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"Edward? What are you doing?" I heard Alex call from the bed. I put on my pajama pants, and walked out, today's photo still in my hand. Alex cuddled closer into the covers as I placed my jeans on the basket for tomorrow's laundry.

"I'm going." I said softly as I turned to look at the pictures in my hand. I smiled as I picked up a pin and pinned it to my bulletin board above my computer desk. I looked at it once more, the happiness as my eyes looked down, and my cheeks turned slightly pink with Bella's arms wrapped around me, her lips on my cheek. I let out a chuckle. She really was my best friend.

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**What did you think? I hope you enjoyed. Tell me exactly what you thought, or think is going to happen. :)**


	7. It's not over

**I don't have much to say about this chapter, except that it's a bit short, and that a lot of you are going to be like……. "wtf?" And, yea…just read. lol. I REALLY, GREATLY recommend that you listen to the song while you read this. The song is a bit short, and trust me when I say you might have to repeat it a couple times to listen to it as you read, but that's ok, because the song is a big part of the experience and it will make you more….emotional. lol. ******** Enjoy, and thank you for all the reviews. I think this chapter is very important.**

**Song: It's not over by secondhand serenade.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. **

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**It's not over**

"Come on Emmett! I thought girls couldn't play! Huh?" Rose grunted as she threw the football harder, making it hit Emmett's stomach. Emmett grunted, and crouched down holding the ball close to his ribs.

"Damn Rose!" He let out a cough, while the rest of us laughed. "Mom! She's going to kill me! Say something!" Emmett complained. Esme just shook her head.

"Maybe next time you shouldn't be so sexist." Esme said smugly, then returned to her gardening.

"You were right Bells, this is better than watching wrestling." Derek said. He was sitting on the ground with Bella in-between his legs, while Alice helped Esme garden. Emmett was playing with Rose, and Jasper just stood next to me laughing at the two. It was quite a sight to be honest.

"Hey where is Alex?" Rose asked suddenly as she grabbed a water bottle from Jasper.

"I don't know." I shrugged. I hadn't really been talking to her lately. We had about a week or so left together before everyone separated ways, and I hadn't really been talking much to Alex. I was too busy hanging out with Bella and catching up. No that I mention it, I see the problem. Oh god, I'm an idiot. I slapped my forehead suddenly.

"You guys! I know what's wrong with Alex! Oh crap! I'm so stupid!" I said. Everyone looked at me confused.

"What?" Emmett asked. I shook my head. I had to go talk to her.

"I'll be right back." I assured everyone and turned to head inside, but not before looking at Bella once. She was looking at me with a weird expression, but I shrugged it off for now.

Alex was sitting on the kitchen counter, her eyes glazed over, and her long blonde hair in a pony tail. There was an apple in her hand with only one bite mark, and she had her glasses on. The way her shoulders slumped over, and her head hung low, ashamed, made me feel uncomfortable. It's almost like if I did that to her.

"Alex?" I finally spoke. Her head snapped up to look at me, looking flat. They were usually flat, but you could tell when she was happy, because of the way they would wrinkle next to the eyelashes, but not now. Now they just looked dull. "Are you ok?" I asked walking closer to her. She shook her head with a sigh. "Look, I'm sorry I haven't been paying attention to you, but I don't want this to be so serious or anything. It's just with Bella leaving….." I trailed off. I didn't want Bella to leave. I had missed my best friend for three years now, and a year before that because of all the attention I had put on Alex instead of her. I couldn't afford to miss any time with her.

"No Edward…that's not what's bothering me." Alex said with a hint of frustration. I furrowed my brows.

"Then what is it?" I asked taking a step closer to her. She sighed, running a hand through her pony tail.

"Edward we need to talk." She stated. I had to stop the sudden urge to snort. No duh, we needed to talk, that much was obvious.

"I know." I said. It was easier to say that, instead of adding more fuel to the fire. Alex looked angry for a second as she shook her head.

"No! You don't know!" She yelled hysterically. I took a step back away from her, as she hopped off the counter. "You've never known Edward! God! For someone so smart you're pretty darn stupid! I knew from the moment I met you! And I didn't say anything, because I was so shocked that you would pick me! But there never was a choice to you because you never knew!" There tears in her eyes now, as she yelled at me, pulling at her hairs and pacing back and forth. "God! You never knew!" She sobbed, falling down to the floor.

I was greatly confused. What the hell is her problem? I didn't know, therefore the only thing I could do was stand there and watch. It's like if she was having a breakdown that I couldn't pick her up from.

"That first day I met you, you were so nice, and funny, I really liked you from the start. But after an hour of us talking, the first thing you say to me is, 'Hey, I want you to meet my Bella!' God Edward, if you could see your face when you would mention her name. I was so surprised that it was the first thing you wanted to do before we actually went out. The way your eyes would light up when ever her name left you lips, or the way you would grin just at the thought…god Edward, I knew right then and there that you were untouchable…I knew right then and there that you already belonged to someone else." She sniffled, rubbing her hand under her nose, from all the tears she was dropping. I looked at her more confused than ever, and sat down next to her, leaning my back against the counter, and resting my hands on the tiled floor.

"What are you talking about?" I asked. She shook her head.

"Edward, let me finish. When I made it to the restaurant, I found you hugging Bella so close to your body, and then when she turned to face me, I knew I was in trouble. She was gorgeous, and she looked so…right…and perfect next to you. The way she would fit in your arms, and the way you held her so close, and the way you looked at her, I mean, God Edward! I can't believe you still couldn't figure it out. I knew even before I met the girl, but if I had any hope that I was wrong, when I met her it was all crushed. She was prefect for you, and I felt useless. I was jealous. I wanted to be in Bella's place, and I wanted you to hold as much admiration for me as you did for her." She sobbed again, and as much as I wanted to comfort her, I was too frozen to say anything.

"Then of course, you stayed with me, and it was so hard because all you would talk about was Bella this, Bella that. And every time you would see her, I had to witness how you would hold her, and then place the sweetest kiss on her forehead. I was counting the days until you would dump me for her. It was so obvious that she loved you too. The only person who needed to make a move was you. I could tell that it was hard for her to see you and me together, and I couldn't blame her, because I already had you, and yet seeing you with her made me want to burst into flames, imagine how she felt." Alex let a chuckle out, but it was humorless.

"When you didn't dump me I was so surprised. I wondered if you really loved me more than you loved her. Of course I was proven wrong. The day you proposed to me, after that everything changed. Every time you would hear or see anything that had to do with Bella, you would cringe, and there would be pools of tears in your eyes, and you never smiled. Not once. You grew pale, and just as bad as Bella. I had to sit and watch as you and Bella both died slowly inside because both of you were missing each other. The only problem between you and Bella was me! And I knew it was me! I knew that I was the problem. But I wanted you all to myself! I wanted you for me! So I let you die." She said the last sentence with venom. She turned to look at me.

"You thought Bella was the only one hurt, but she wasn't. It was you too. You were just as hurt. Then on our wedding day, after I finally thought things were better and that you had gotten over her, you proved me wrong. When you said 'I love you' at the end of the trail, you turned to look at Bella at the exact same time. No body noticed, but I did. As soon as you said the word, 'I' you were already looking at Bella, it was like a magnet or something. It was incredible. Your heart and mind knew exactly who you belonged with, but you were too stubborn to see. It was like if you were whispering those words to Bella, not me. Then when she left, I was happy because I thought she would be gone forever and out of our lives…..but it wasn't her who was supposed to leave, it was me. I should have known that at our own wedding you would be after her." She looked away from me.

"For three years, I tried to make you smile, but for three years I couldn't succeed. It never really touched your eyes. Of course when Bella got here last week, it was like if she was never gone. I have never seen you grin so much, in my life. Only she could bring you back to life Edward." Alex finally took a deep breath.

I still didn't know what to say. There was no way that was she was saying could be true. I couldn't love Bella. I loved Alex. I didn't love Bella, I loved Alex. Right? No! I never loved Bella did I?! Was I that oblivious?! I feel like a fool! No! I never loved Bella.

"No…." I whispered. Alex snorted.

"Yes Edward! That's why we needed to talk. Do you have any idea how it will make me feel if I have to watch you die slowly again after Bella leaves? She's your brand of heroin Edward! She's your drug, your medicine, your cure. She's yours. Derek and I both know that, and we both feel that we've been interfering too much. I don't know what Derek's plan is, but I know that I'm leaving." My head snapped up to look at her.

For some reason, I didn't feel much pain at her words, they weren't as bad as the pain I felt when Bella had said she was leaving……I shook my head. I was still alert. I don't know what I would do if Alex left. I mean it would be so complicated. I'd have to explain to my parents, and Bella wouldn't treat me the same, plus everyone would be down for the rest of the vacation, and then what would be the fun in that? No, it would be too much to handle if she left.

"No! Alex! I love you! You can't! Please don't leave me! We can work this out! I mean, this is so ridiculous! I don't love Bella!" I pleaded. Alex shook her head.

"Edward, tell me something, how do you feel about Bella leaving next week?" Alex asked. I cringed at the thought. I don't know what I would do if Bella and I separate like we did last time.

"You see! That's exactly it! Edward, when I said I was leaving, you didn't even flinch." Alex noted.

I blinked a couple times, it was all finally sinking in. Yea, when Alex said she was leaving it didn't hurt as much, but she's my wife, I can't just let her go. But then again when she said Bella was leaving…….

"Alex..."

"No! You listen to me Edward Cullen. Bella Swan and you are meant to be together, I ruined it enough. If you have any love for me left, then please think this through." She demanded. I couldn't believe this was happening. I was so shocked, I mean…..come on…..

There had to be something I could do to make her stay….I mean at least for a while, that way we can at least act like everything is alright. I don't want to ruin everyone's vacation because of something Alex thinks. I can't love Bella, because I don't.

"Alex, you can't just leave like this! Please, stay with me." I pleaded. She looked at me skeptically.

"Only if you promise to think about it." She said. I nodded desperately. I could imagine the rest of the week if Alex did leave, and it wasn't pretty.

"There is nothing to think about, but I promise I will. And if you turn out right, then you can leave me, but when we get back home." I said. I was sure that she would be wrong. I mean, me loving Bella? Impossible.

"Edward, I am right." She sighed putting her head in her hands.

"Alex, listen to me, if you love me, then why are you giving up? Why are you giving up when you haven't lost anything?" I whispered, trying to wrap my arm around her. She shrugged me off.

"Edward, I will lose you though. It's inevitable. I will lose you no matter what." She assured. I shook my head.

This could not be happening.

"Alex, do you love me?" I asked. Her head snapped up to look at me. The adrenaline was washing over me. I couldn't believe that we were even having this discussion.

"Edward, you know I do." She said with pained eyes. I couldn't stand seeing her in pain. I had already hurt two of the most important women in my life.

"Well, I love you." I stated simply. Alex let out a dark chuckle.

"But you love Bella more." She pressed. Her eyes were absolutely flat as she repeated the words. I wanted to protest, that it was a lie. That I didn't love Bella more….but my mouth wouldn't open, because for some reason I couldn't disagree with her. "You do." She sighed.

"Alex…"

"What are we going to do?" Alex asked. I shook my head. There was nothing left to do. I loved Alex, not Bella. Alex was my wife, and Bella was engaged with a baby. There was nothing to think about and nothing to do.

"We do nothing. I've caused enough trouble. We don't need this drama when it's not even fact. I don't love Bella that way." I said.

"Yes you do Edward! God you're so stubborn!" Alex slapped the counter, making me flinch. "Think about it Edward! See your life with Bella, and then see it with me. Tell me which one you think is better, and then come and talk to me." She said exasperated. My anger was starting to grow.

Why does she keep pushing this on? I don't love Bella like that!

"This is getting stupid Alex! Just shut up already!" I yelled. Alex turned to face me, her arms crossed over her chest.

"No! It's not stupid Edward, because in the end no matter what, I will get hurt and so will you!" She yelled back. I couldn't disagree with that. After this it wouldn't be the same between us. She sighed. "Edward I can't live with myself if I have to see you suffer." Alex said softly, pressing her hand to my cheek. She moved her hand slowly to my neck, then to my chest, tears prickling down her face. "Edward, this heart"-she pointed down to my heart, her hand putting slightly more pressure on it-"Beats for Bella. It belongs to her. Not to me, and I took it. I knew what I was doing when I tried to steal it. I stole it right under her nose." She let out a shaky breath, moving her hands to grab mine.

"Edward, my hands don't fit in yours." She said. She lifted our hands together, stretching our fingers, comparing the size. But the size wasn't what she wanted me to see. She wanted me to see how wrong our hands looked together, and she was right. Her long tanned fingers did not match with mine at all. It looked all wrong, I couldn't even explain it. Then she laced our fingers together, trying to prove the point. She was right. They didn't even fit together. How come I never noticed before? It's like the spaces between our fingers were meant for that significant other, but Alex wasn't that for me. Something I had already realized the day Bella had mentioned it in the library. But I never really believed in soul mates, until now that I realized the big difference between our hands. Imagine the difference between kisses.

I wonder…..

I let my hand untangle itself from Alex, moving them to either side of her face. As I looked down at her, I realized something. Her height was all wrong too. I pressed my body to hers, and saw how it didn't quite fit either. For someone as tall, and lanky as myself, you'd think that Alex's body, so curvy and tall, like Rosalie's would fit in mine, but it didn't. There was only one petite little body that fit into my own perfectly, and that was with belly and all. Bella was able to shape herself around me easily, without a problem. I noticed also how when I looked at Alex's eyes, I felt disappointment, because they weren't the deep brown ones that for some dumb reason I had been expecting.

I finally leaned down, this was the final test. I pressed my lips to Alex's and when I did, it was like kissing nothing. Like a peck you would give to your mom. It was nothing. I felt nothing. I never really thought that a kiss could be magical, and I never noticed how a kiss could say a thousand words until now. These thousand words that were held in this kiss, said nothing about love. Alex was right….I didn't love her that way. I had never noticed before, but kissing her now felt all wrong. I gasped at my realization and pulled away. Alex had felt it too, and I could see the pain in her eyes very clearly.

"Edward, your lover and wife have to be your best friend too…I'm not." She said softly.

And she was right.

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**Remember to review. Please. :)**


	8. Where would we be now?

**Sorry it took so long and thank you all for the wonderful reviews. There were so many and it really surprised me. I hope you enjoy this chapter, I know that there is a lot of ground to cover with Edward's new epiphany, so I hope this clears some stuff up. **

_**PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING:**_

**This chapter was supposed to be about self-realization, and emotion, and I tried to channel that, but I didn't write it all in one day like I usually do, so I don't know if it flows right, because I did this on different occasions. You see the writing process for me is to channel my emotions first, so if Edward starts crying I have to make myself cry to be able to express how he feels. If Bella has heartbreak I need to think about my past heartbreaks, and it's pretty hard. Therefore since I didn't do this altogether, and did it when my mood was different, I'm not sure this chapter is going to make much sense. Of course though it's supposed to be confusing because I want you to feel exactly how Edward is feeling and that at the moment is confused, so I hope I succeed, so let me know if I do. I only hope that you can enjoy it. :) **

**Alright so the song this time is 'Where would we be now?' by Good charlotte, and I HIGHLY recommend that you listen to the song, because it's beautiful. So yeah, the lyrics are in the end this time, and I think you should read them. Lol. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Enjoy.**

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**Where would we be now?**

Have you ever felt like an idiot? Or like you've been missing something all along? That's how I felt. I couldn't believe it. There was no way that I was in love with Bella. There just couldn't be. It's like I was stuck in some dimensional world where everything I knew was taken away, or just a set up. I'm not sure if I even know who I am anymore.

I want to know how on earth it ever got to this. Of course I know the answer to that. How could I not love Bella? Ok, I just need to think about this. What I know for sure is that I don't love Alex, but do I love Bella? Well, what is there not to love? She's beautiful, smart, witty, sweet, stubborn, good hearted, and my closest friend. I can tell her anything. Now that I mention these things, I'm wondering how on earth I never fell in love with her before. Of course, according to Alex, I was in love with her, I just didn't realize it. Maybe that's it though. Maybe I did love Bella, and I confused it for friendship love. Maybe that's how I _thought _I fell in love with Alex.

I was in love with Bella, but thought it was just friendship, and since the only love I ever felt, besides family, was that, I thought that the different love I felt for Alex, was _love, love, _when in fact, it was friendship. Wow, talk about dumbass. I really am slow.

Ugh! I banged my hands on the counter. This was too confusing. What was it that Alex told me to do? Oh, yea, she said to imagine my life with Bella.

I walked upstairs to my bedroom, with my shoulders a bit slumped. Once I made it inside, I jumped on the bed, letting my arms cross over my face. I closed my eyes, taking deep breaths. The first thing I tried to do was really think of the future, but it wasn't working.

"Err…." I growled, flipping on my stomach. This was too much work. How was I supposed to think about my life with Bella? Then it hit me. The piano. Last time I played in it, that tune came to mind, and so did Bella……

I hopped off my bed and walked over to the piano. I sat down, stretching my fingers before letting them graze over the keys. The tune started out just like before, a random melody. But, soon pictures of Bella's smile, and her eyes, popped into my head and the tune changed to sweeter, just like before. I now knew what I was calling this tune…Bella's Lullaby.

Like a true lullaby, it helped me relax, and almost want to sleep, but not in a boring way. It just helped me relax all my muscles.

It was the same song I played last time. As I continued the song, I saw images of Bella lying next to me, her arm around my neck, and her hand playing with my hair, while the other hand was on my shoulder, cheeks pink, and my arm draped around her waist, my head resting on her chest. I remember that. That was the first day of freshman year. I had gone over Bella's house, and we had been listening to music, and just lying around, and then somehow we got into a conversation about my fears and hers. We ended up just like that. That's the thing about Bella. She can turn the happiest moment of your life to just a sweet moment.

I remember looking up at her. That was the first time I noticed exactly how beautiful she was, with her gorgeous hair forming a halo on her pillows, and her glowing skin under mine. I had always found her beautiful, or 'hot', but that was the first time I thought of her as angelic.

The image started to change and Bella started looking older, as her chest grew, just like her curves grew more pronounced, and her face grew sharper, but still soft. Her hair grew longer, gaining those wild waves, and her lips getting fuller. I changed too, my muscles growing more pronounced as well, and my height increasing, just like my face grew sharper too. The scenery changed from her bedroom to grass, as the moon glowed above us. I was on top of Bella, my hands resting on either side of her, and my feet tangled with hers. Her face was flushed, and she was laughing exposing her neck. I remember that too.

This was on Fourth of July after we completed senior year. I had been tickling Bella to death. That day we had run around like a couple of little kids, and I absolutely loved it. It was the best Fourth of July because of the fact that we were growing up but not changing who we were, and that was Bella and Edward.

After that, the picture changed once more, but this time, it was when I told Bella about proposing to Alex. I tried to maneuver the image to me proposing to Bella. There was a sudden uneasy feeling in my chest as I saw Bella break down, but when I tried to change it to Bella being the one I proposed to, it all went by fast.

It was a happy proposal, she accepted, and for a second, as I pretended that this was a real memory, I felt happiness soar through my veins, and a grin play on my lips. I was happy. It felt right, as I looked at the 'pretend' memories of my wedding with Bella. I imagined it was her in that wedding dress, and I really was starting to wish it was real. It all looked so perfect. And for once, I saw the way I looked at her. I saw as my green eyes bored into hers. I saw the look in my eyes, and I knew why Alex thought I was in love with Bella. Because I was. I was in love with Bella. And when I looked back to Bella's brown eyes, I saw her returning the love.

That's when it all went fast like if someone pressed forward on a remote. I saw my life with her pass through my eyes. We kept in touch with the family, we had a nice home in Forks, where we belonged, and we had a daughter and a son. He was the perfect mixture of Bella and me. He had her skin, glowing in all it's glory, and he had her deep brown eyes, but with my bronze hair, and he was five, lanky and pretty tall, handsome, missing two front teeth, and a few barely noticeable freckles, right on the nose, that seemed to be fading. Then there was the girl. She had Bella's gorgeous mahogany hair, with my vibrant green eyes, but just specks of chocolate brown in them. She had the same face as her mother, and looked to be about eight. She was sure to break hearts in high school, and wore a baseball cap, with a glove in one hand and ball in the other.

The boy appeared in the picture, looking at me from under his eyelashes, and then Bella came and picked him up. He hid his face shyly in her neck. I watched as my 'son' and 'daughter' grew, and as Bella and I lived happily, in a nice home, and raising the kids. I then saw how my 'daughter' got married, a nice man, and Emmett was in the picture being the great uncle, and Esme and Carlisle, Alice and Jasper….they were all there. We were all happy forever, and so were Bella and I.

I opened my eyes with a gasp. Alex was right! I did have a better future with Bella! I ruined everything! I can never be with her now. No, I need to calm down. I hid my face in my hands, taking deep breaths.

Ok, I know that Bella is having a baby, and Derek, but even Alex said that Derek knows about this, and he said he would do anything to make Bella happy. Now all I have to do is make her fall in love with me.

No, god that's too selfish. No! It's not, because Bella and I belong together. No, we don't. She doesn't deserve more drama. No, this is about Bella, for once in her life being happy. She and I can not be together.

It would kill her if she had to break either Derek or my heart, and even so I don't think I could win her over again.

So where does that put me? It's obvious Alex and I will not be together anymore, but I won't tell anyone that until we are home. Right now no body needs the drama. So, Alex and I go home, and then it's over. She will move out and live with her sister, and I'll stay by myself, without Bella, love, and maybe become a workaholic. That's exactly what's going to happen. I can't believe I ruined this.

I deserve this don't I? I could have picked Bella, but I didn't. Now, I'm by myself, and feeling the exact pain Bella had been feeling. God I hate it. No one deserves this much pain….well except for me. Ugh! So that's it. I love Bella, and she loves Derek, while Alex loves me. The world is very strange, isn't it?

I sighed, letting my hand run through my already disheveled hair.

"Edward?" I heard Bella's voice from the doorway, making my head snap up to look at her. There she was in all her glory. This is the first time I've actually looked at her since I realized I loved her. Let me tell you, it's not easy to see her.

I had never felt this way before, and as I skimmed down, I was reminded exactly why I couldn't be with her. The baby.

"Yes?" It was barely a whisper. Bella walked in the room, sitting on the edge of the bed. I stayed put in my little piano bench, trying hard to swallow correctly. Her gorgeous face was full of worry.

"What's wrong?" She finally asked. I shook my head. Of course she would notice.

"Nothing." I shrugged. I tried to look away from her face, but I couldn't. I became even more alert when she started biting her bottom lip. I have never wanted more to actually press my lips to hers. I wonder if there would be any sparks if I did kiss her….

"Are you sure?" She asked, calling my attention back. I nodded, trying to convince her with a small smile. She looked at me skeptically for a moment.

"Mhmm…" I couldn't really talk without a shaky voice. The emotions were too crazy.

"You know you can talk to me if anything, right?" She asked. I nodded. As much as I knew I could trust her, this was just one thing that I couldn't talk about with her.

"Alright." She sighed getting up. She had a bit of trouble with that over grown belly of hers, but managed either way. She wobbled over to me, bending down, and then pressing her soft warm lips to my forehead.

I knew it was a bad idea. Now that I knew I was in love with her, I was more alert than ever, and I couldn't help but feel the little sparks that flew when her lips made contact with my skin. Imagine if it were my lips…..either way there was this urge that suddenly grew in me. So my hands decided to take over, and they immediately went to her face, holding it between my hands. She was frozen for a moment, and before I could slip up, I covered it, by getting up and pressing my lips to her forehead. I closed my eyes at the sweet sensation, but let go before it got worse.

Is this how she had felt all the time before? Poor Bella, I can really sympathize with her. I sighed, walking out of the door before she could say anything. I had to get out of here.

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After some time outside, I finally came back home, my new feelings in check, and my plan set.

My plan:

-Love Bella secretly,

-Have the best vacation ever,

-Go home and fix things with Alex,

-But no matter what, I had to break up with her.

That was all for sure. I could not stay with Alex no matter how much I wanted to. And the sad part was that I wasn't even sure if I wanted to anymore.

I bit down harder on my bottom lip, and continued my pace to the kitchen. The first thing I noticed was my mom standing by the counter, cutting an onion and laughing with her head hanging back freely, and then I saw _her. _

She was laughing too, and standing on the other side of the counter with my mom. It was something beautiful to watch, because my mom had never really had this relationship with Alex, and that hurt to see because it just showed exactly how wrong I was in picking Alex, and how right it would be if I had Bella in my life. We were like two pieces in a puzzle, but just like a puzzle, we were lost and forgotten, taking different paths and hiding under beds with dust bunnies from a child's forgotten puzzle game.

It's exactly like a puzzle game now that I think of it. There were so many things to think about, and it was so hard to find exactly what pieces fit together, that eventually, like a normal child would do, we went with what ever other piece we could find. In this case Alex and Derek. And just like a true game, we gave up when we couldn't find the answers. It was a shame.

"Oh hey Edward." Bella said suddenly, calling me from my thoughts. I looked up with a smile. She was looking at me carefully, with concern still full in her brown eyes. Esme turned to look at me too with a grin on her face.

"Oh Edward, come join us cook." She said. I leaned off the door frame that I had unconsciously rested upon, and walked towards them.

I was having a hard time taking my eyes off Bella. Every once in a while she would do something or say something that I would use as any excuse to look at her, and when she would touch me in a friendly manner, I had this sudden urge to just grab her. But I couldn't do that. I wouldn't do that. It was extremely hard to control. I would bite my lip though, and just try to smile.

After we, well mostly them, had finished cooking, my mom decided to leave and find Rosalie and Alice. She asked about Alex, and I felt my heart go one hundred miles per hour. I just shrugged, but I knew my eyes probably looked troubled, so like a dog being punished for biting a slipper, I looked down, with my tail between my legs. My mom looked like she wanted to say something, but she decided against it, and went straight for Alice and Rose. Bella though, wasn't going to let me off the hook that easily.

"I'm guessing the talk didn't go as planned….." She said quietly. I didn't know what to say to make things less suspicious or right. I didn't know what to say without spilling everything out, so I did the only thing I could do. I looked away. Bella sighed understanding that I was in no mood to talk. "This vacation is supposed to be a happy one." She mumbled to herself. I felt suddenly guilty. She was right. It was supposed to be happy.

"Bella, everything is fine…I'm just….not in the mood right now." I said pathetically. She tried to smile at me, before reaching out for my hand. I practically held my breath in as she gave it a reassuring squeeze. This is how she must have felt when she was in love with me. Ugh…I fucked up big time. Bella's eyes lit up suddenly, and a grin appeared on her perfect lips.

"So then let's have fun. Let's do something crazy. It doesn't matter what! Let's go cliff diving! Or, we can go steal, or let's go bother Old Man Hagen's down the street! Let's do something!" She said a bit desperate. It was cute and sad for my part, on how bad she really wanted to make me have fun, and all I could do was sulk. Her frame was shaking a bit, and she was at a point of hysterics, instead of enthusiasm. "Anything Edward." She whispered. I bit my lips.

"Anything." I agreed with a smile. Her eyes lit up a bit, and it was truly an amazing sight. I could see everything her eyes, like an open book. Suddenly an idea came to me. "Let's go." I said, before pulling her hand and dragging her to the garage.

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"I can't believe we're actually doing this." Bella said behind me. "If I go into labor early it's your fault!" She hissed. I chuckled.

"Bella, you said something exciting." I reminded her as I grabbed her waist, my fingers tickling. She jumped from the window and landed on the floor, my hands still griping her waist. I finally let go before it got out of hand.

"Yeah, but sneaking into our old high school….Edward why couldn't we just go through the front like a normal tourist would?" She asked, worry filling her eyes.

"Because that wouldn't be fun….and I wanted you to see this…" I said turning around to face the room. It was the biology room.

The first day of high school, I didn't see Bella, not once. We had lost hope thinking that we wouldn't get any classes together. When I sat down on my desk, and waited for the teacher to come, instead Bella came tripping in. When our eyes met, we jumped off the tables screaming and gripping each other for dear life, and eventually landing on the floor, with me on top of her. It was sad because we had seen each other the day before, but we acted like it had been centuries. It was a memorable moment because this was our spot, our first day of high school, truly together, and we were lab partners, and our first detention served for disrupting class when the teacher had finally waltz in.

Now that I think about it, I wonder how Bella must have felt when I fell on top of her. I cringed at the thought. How would I feel if Bella had fallen on me now? Not good….knowing I couldn't have her. I turned to see Bella's reaction, but she was smiling, her eyes glazed over, deep in thought.

Instead of interrupting her I took this moment to stare at her. She was gorgeous. The way her hair fell slightly over her face, and the way her lips were pursed as she thought….the way her eyes were glazed over.

I had always known that Bella was beautiful, and I had watched her develop over the years with hungry eyes, as I developed into a teenage boy with a teenage mind. Having a hot best friend wasn't exactly the easiest thing for me, and my newly fresh teenage brain, but I never thought of myself as more than a friend with her, and now I wonder how that could possibly be. She was gorgeous, living breathing and right in front of me, but also engaged and pregnant. My mood changed drastically as I thought about that.

I kept my eyes on Bella as she finally looked up at me. "What?" She asked, the pink making it's why up to her cheek bones.

"Nothing." I said with a sad smile. She looked away, still red in all her glory. I felt the pain in my stomach as it twisted and turned from just staring at her. How can someone hold this? It's like an ache that you have to respond to, it's uncontrollable. The most important question is how could I have lived so long without knowing she had this affect on me?

"I really miss this place." She finally sighed. I sat down on the lab counter. "It was so much easier back then." She said quietly, while passing her hand through the teacher's desk.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked. Bella sighed, setting herself down on the teacher's desk, her feet dangling, and her face looking down at her hands which were currently resting on her belly.

"Everything was so much easier. We didn't have to worry about due dates, or weddings, or vacation deadlines, or relationships, or bills, jobs houses……we didn't have to worry about anything but our friendship." She said.

I felt myself smile at her words. She was talking about _us. _Me and her. She missed how things used to be, and even if it only gives me little hope, that's all I need. I just need to know she still cares. I'm not asking for her to love me back, because I don't deserve it, but I'm happy that she at least cares.

"Yea….that's true." I said. She smiled slightly before looking away from my gaze, her cheeks pink. There was a comfortable silence before she finally spoke.

"Remember Newton?" She asked suddenly. I felt my face go to an immediate grimace. How could I not forget him? Bella laughed. "Remember the first time we met him? You and I were walking to class together when he popped up out of nowhere, and asked me if I needed help getting to my next class." She laughed again. I frowned. He was annoying.

"Yea and he pretended like I wasn't even there." I said, clearly upset. But I couldn't help the chuckle that was escaping my lips now that I thought about it. Bella laughed harder, and I noted to myself that I had to make her do that more often. Now that I knew I loved her, everything she did was so important and so significant, it was so weird.

"Yeah, and then you told him that you had it covered." She laughed some more in which I joined. "They he said that you could go back to class, that he would help me." I burst out laughing. I remember that. He was trying to be so smooth, when Bella herself looked annoyed that day too. "And then…And then….then…" Bella's hysterics were slowing down, until she wasn't laughing anymore, and I stopped laughing too, confused. "Then you put your arm around me and said to butt off." She said with a small smile.

My breath caught. I was waiting to see any sign of pain just incase, in her eyes, but there was none; only humor and a small smile on her perfect lips. I sighed in relief. It was stupid to think that it could hurt her, but she doesn't dwell well with _those_ memories.

"It was true. He needed to butt out. You were mine for that whole day and I was yours. He needed to learn that." I said shrugging. I was secretly letting Bella know about my hidden love for her, as a form of release from all the pressure I had. The only person I could tell was Alex because she already knew, but I don't think that's a good idea to talk to her about my love for another woman. So this was close enough because Bella would never find out what it meant, and I was telling my best friend. She smiled at me brightly, and I could feel my heart rate picking up, which was unusual for me, but I liked it.

"Come on; let's check out the rest of the school, Mr. James Bond." She laughed. I laughed too before hopping off the table and grabbing her extended hand.

Now that I took it, I realized how different it felt from holding Alex's hand. Bella's did fit in mine, and the warmth was amazing, as our skins shone, white with white, and glow with glow. My skin was now glowing brightly at the touch of hers, and I once again thought of the puzzle piece, and we were truly two perfect pieces, meant to stick together. But that couldn't happen. So with a sigh I tried to smile and enjoy the time I had with my best friend, and love. Like it should be.

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**So tell me your thoughts, any questions, or anything at all, just review. lol. I hope you enjoyed it, and PLEASE tell me if I succeeded about the whole thingy up there in the author's note. lol. :)**

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_I smile , you laugh, I look away  
I sigh, you ask me why, I say,  
It's ok and I am just feeling down  
Your hand on mine I hear the words...  
If only love had found us first, our lives would be different_

_So I stand and wait  
I am just a man_

_Where would we be now baby, if we found each other first  
Where would we be now baby,_

_And now I must confess  
That I am a sinking ship  
I'm anchored by the weight of my heart cause its filled with these feelings  
I keep my true thought locked beside my hearts black box  
It wont be found, it wont survive, through the smoke or the wreckage  
So I crash and burn  
I got a lot of things to learn_

_Where would we be now baby, if we found each other first  
What would you do now darling, if I said these simple words  
I'll wait, I'll wait...As long as you want_

_Where would we be now baby_

_I'll wait  
I'll wait_

_Where would we be now baby, if we found each other first  
What would you do now darling, if I said these simple words  
I'll wait, I'll wait...As long as you want._

_Where would we be now baby  
I'll wait  
I'll wait_


	9. Everlasting Friend

**Alright, I have some things to say, **

**1. Thank you all for reviewing, I can't believe the great response I'm getting with this.**

**2. This chapter…..has some…surprises…cough, cough So, tell me what you think.**

**3. I know a lot of you want to know how Edward and Bella are going to get together….they just are, so don't worry guys. Lol. I'm having trouble steering this story the way I wanted it because I've grown very fond of my characters, so just give me some time.**

**4. Some of you don't want Edward and Bella together. Well, the thing is, this is and E/B story. It has to be. One way or the other, they have to end up together. I'm an E/B fan, and right now I know you don't like this Edward, but give him a chance, and really try to understand him. I'm not going to make it easy for him, because I'm not an idiot, so just have some patience, and you'll see why they have to be together. This story isn't done, and there is still stuff we need to cover, and things that need to happen. You'll see. **

**5. That was a really long author's note, but yeah. Ok, I like this chapter, although it's not my greatest work, and I don't know if it makes sense because once again, the mood was a big element, so yeah, but I hope you all are still able to enjoy. It was very long to write, I'm talking 19 pages. Alright. :) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

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**Everlasting Friend By Blue October**

**E.P.O.V**

"Really?" Bella asked. Her eyes were wide as she popped another spoon full of chocolate ice cream in her mouth. I nodded with a small smile. "Wow." She whispered. I shrugged. "I never knew Angie had a bad side." She said with a giggle after a couple minutes. I laughed along with her.

"Yes, well let's just keep that little secret between you and me." I said. Bella nodded in agreement.

"I just can't believe they chose the janitor's closet. They could have chosen something much more private….or at least locked it." Bella mumbled the last part. I laughed again, practically spitting out my ice cream.

"Those were good times." I noted. Bella smiled, making my fingers inch to touch her.

"Well, this place meant a lot to us." Bella said. "It's bound to bring back some memories."

"Yeah…" I agreed. We were currently sitting in the cafeteria with some ice cream that was provided to us by the lovely coolers in the back. No one was really in the school, so we took advantage and sat in our old table.

I remember how every day we used to sit here. It would always be Alice, and Emmett, then me and Bella. That's when Alice met Jasper and he joined, then Emmett met Rosalie and she joined in as well. I could see us now as we sat in our table all laughing, me grabbing Bella's hand every once in a while, squeezing it then letting go. I smiled at the thought.

Then it hit me. I remember when we were here, on our last day, we carved our names under the table. I wonder if it's still here. I looked up to see Bella staring at me, a curious look in her eye.

"What?" I asked. She smiled and shook her head, so I shrugged it off as the excitement hit me. "Do you remember what we did on our last day?" I asked. Bella looked at me confused for a moment, and I prayed that she would remember.

"Oh!" She said suddenly. I smiled as I got off the chair, and sunk slowly to the floor, laying my back on it, and facing the bottom of the table. A few seconds later, Bella joined me as well. I looked at her, with a smile. I felt at home with our close proximity, so with a sigh, a looked up.

It wasn't hard to find, it was pretty clear, and perfectly carved.

_Edward + Bella_

_Rosalie+ Emmett_

_Alice + Jasper_

_Family + Best friends Forever_

I heard Bella gasp as she looked up too. It was there, in our handwriting. We were a family, always were, and now, it was like that was gone. It was gone, but we were gaining it back.

Bella wasn't supposed to be with Derek and I wasn't supposed to be with Alex. It was all wrong and it was my entire fault. I split us apart, and that day that Bella left, instead of getting my best friend back, I killed her.

I felt as the pain entered my system. I still felt horrible for doing that to her and it was something I would never forgive myself and I didn't expect her to forgive me either.

"Bella…." I whispered. I didn't know what I was going to say, but I had to say something.

"Yes?" She whispered. Her tone was the same as mine, and it made me wonder what she was thinking about. I turned my head to look at her, and she had done the same.

Her beautiful eyes stared back at me, and I could see the pools of tears that were starting to spill out. I reached with my finger tip and cleared away the little bit that had fallen out.

"Bella I'm sorry." I whispered. "For everything."

"Edward…" I shook my head to stop her.

"No Bella, I really am sorry. I'm sorry for everything I did to you, and I regret it immensely. I….I….I love you so much Bella, I can't lose you again. I'm sorry." I said weakly.

For once I understood how Bella had felt the day she told me she loved me. It was a desperate feeling, one that you just realize that you can lose the one you love, and you'll do anything to keep them. It's like you're at the edge of a cliff and you still can't believe it. _I _couldn't believe it.

Bella had a few tears as she raised her hand up to stroke my cheek, sending chills down my spine. It was then I realized my lip was quivering a bit. I was desperate. I'd do anything to get her back.

"You're my best friend." She whispered, her voice dripping with emotion.

"Yeah." I whispered as I wrapped my arms around her. She sobbed as I brought her head to my chest, and wrapped her own arms around my waist. "You're my best friend." I whispered in the same desperate tone, planting a kiss on her forehead.

It seemed like every conversation we had ended like this. Every single one ended with one of us crying, and one of us hurt or healed. But we always ended up in each others arms, and that is worth all the pain in the world.

* * *

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"Come on Edward! I hear footsteps!" Bella hissed. I laughed but jumped over the window easily, hoisting myself with the right position before landing with a soft thud.

"Alright, alright." I chuckled. Bella glared at me, nervous that we would be crossing any boundaries, but walked at my pace nonetheless.

"Whew! I thought we'd get caught." Bella said once we were safely in my car. I chuckled before putting it on drive.

"Come on Bella, I'm Edward Cullen, we don't get caught." I said. She stuck her tongue out at me before turning to face the window.

Today had been a day full of adventures, and I realized how I almost slipped up and told Bella that I loved her. Well, I did tell her, but she didn't know exactly how much I really did love her. That she'll never know.

Either way, it was fun. After a while under the table, we had decided to walk around. Of course to me it wasn't just walking around, to me it was a free trip down memory lane as we explored around the empty halls, and old classrooms that for some reason still smelled like detergent. Bella enjoyed that though, and for some strange reason, strange because not even I could understand, she grinned and took in the scent like if it was some sort of perfume, when in reality it was actually burning my nose. She didn't take it that way though, and when asked why she liked it, her answer only left me with more questions.

"It smells nice." She had said. "It's like you're smelling yesterdays laundry, and you can still smell the cologne from your date."

I had no idea what she was talking about, and in this it resulted to my sudden silence. It makes me wonder what goes on in that pretty little head of hers, but either way, I had no time to ponder the thought, for there was a sudden noise as the lights went on in the office right down building three, which we had been walking by. It didn't take long enough for Bella to notice, and when she did, we had darted back into the building, and out the window in a heart beat. That's how we landed here with Bella pouting adorably, her arms crossed over her chest as she stared out the window.

"It was a close call." She argued. I sighed knowing that her stubbornness wasn't going to change.

"Yes Bella, it was a close call." I mused. She sighed, leaning her head further into the head rest.

"I wonder what Esme is cooking tonight." She said. I chuckled. "What?" She asked, looking at me.

"They always told me pregnant women got very hungry...I had never witnessed it like this before. You just ate Bella." I laughed. She grimaced looking back out the window as the pink reached her cheek suddenly.

"Edward, those ice cream cups barely fill a quarter of my stomach. They were little." She defended. I bit my lip, trying to stop the sudden chuckle that wanted to escape.

"Alright Bella. How about we go get some good old fast food?" I proposed. I knew that the one way to make Bella happy was some good food, and I knew her soft spot for fries.

"Milk shake and everything?" She asked. I nodded.

"Milk shake and everything."

"Let's go then! What are we waiting for?"

* * *

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**B.P.O.V**

_"Girls just want to have fun! Oh-oh! Girls just want to have fun!!"_ Edward laughed as I popped another fry in my mouth. It wasn't my plan to listen to Cyndi Lauper on our way home...it kind of just happened.

"I love this song." I sighed. It really was a good song. It just made you want to jump up on your feet and dance. It made me want to watch '13 going on 30'. I was in a great mood to be honest. Not only did I get to have some fun with Edward, but I got some fast food, and great music. This is the life. I moved my shoulders to the beat, and waved my hands above me, as Edward's beautiful laugh filled the air.

"Come on Edward! Sing with me!" I yelled. He laughed again, before stealing a fry from me.

"I don't think that's a guy song Bella." He chuckled. I pouted. Sexist.

"Come on Edward! Sing with me!" I urged. He shook his head, but I could see the hesitation in his eyes. _"Some boys take a beautiful girl, and hide her away from the rest of the world!"_ I sang. I wasn't sure if I got the lyrics right, but that was ok.

"Bella, what am I going to do with you?" Edward laughed shaking his head. I smiled at him before settling father into my seat. I had been practically standing up instead of sitting.

"Hey! You know what I noticed?" I asked suddenly. Edward smiled at me, and then glanced back at the road.

"What?" He asked.

"You're letting me eat in your car." I teased throwing some more fries in my mouth. Edward chuckled.

"You should feel so special." He mused. I shrugged smugly.

"I am special." I stated.

"You have no idea." Edward mumbled.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing." He said. I shrugged as I flipped through more radio stations, when I heard it.

_"Oh, oh, oh, oh! Uptown girl! _

_She's been living in her uptown world;_

_I bet she's never had a backstreet guy."_

"Oh my god! Edward!" I screeched. I loved this song! _"As long as anyone with hot blood can, and she's been looking for a downtown man! That's what I am."_ I sang along.

"I remember hearing this all the time at your mom's house." Edward laughed. I smiled looking up at his face, before he started singing the next set of lyrics.

_"She'll see I'm not so tough, just because I'm in love with an uptown girl. You know I've seen her in uptown world, she's getting tired of her high class toys, and all her presents from her uptown boys...she's got a choice."_ He sang sweetly.

He was laughing at first as he sang, and I laughed along too. I loved hearing his voice, it was so nice and warm, and it was like alullaby. But then he got to the last lines, and it became sweet and pretty serious, and then he said 'she's got a choice', and he almost whispered it, with so much meaning, that I evenstopped my breathing. I had no idea what to think, or what was going through his mind, but I wanted to know, and for some strange reason, I had some secret hope that he wasthinking about me.

I shook that thought away as I looked up at his emerald eyes, finding myself leaning in a bit. I noticed the car had stopped moving, and I could feel the electricity thick in the air above us. I looked at his features. The amazing green eyes, and the straight and perfect nose, the sharp and high cheek bones, the beautiful jaw line that followed to his chin and then his perfect plum lips, and then I looked down his neck, the perfect milky color, and down to his chest, that was heaving up and down. I suddenly wanted to feel that strong chest under my palms, and his strong arms as his long legs entwined with mine. I was tense, and very hormonal at the moment. It was so strange. Maybe I had something to drink, or they put some crap in my milk shake.

Either way, I have never wanted to kiss someone so badly...well besides Edward. But this was different. It's like if I NEEDED to kiss him.

I felt myself leaning in closer, and closer, and so did he, his eyes troubled. I blinked a couple times, my lips parted as I drew closer to him. I could already smell his sweet breath. I wanted him.

_"It's my party and I'll cry if I want to. _

_Cry if I want to, cry if I want to,_

_you would cry too if it happened to you."_

We both snapped back, my cheeks burning, as I snapped out of my state.

Whoa, I almost kissed Edward. I felt suddenly guilty. What about Derek? It would have been horrible if I kissed Edward while I'm with Derek, not to mention poor Alex. No, we weren't going to kiss, it was just a moment. I tried to assure myself, but in reality, I knew it was a lie.

"Um...you want to go inside?" Edward asked breathless. That's when I noticed that we were parked in his garage.

"Yeah..." I replied. We got out of the car, all the Burger King bags, safely put in my hands.

I watched as Edward walked, his lanky body moving gracefully yet dangerously and mysteriously to the door. I had never seen anything like it, and the yearning in my stomach grew again. I shook my head before wobbling my way over to Edward as he opened the door for me. The perfect gentlemen. I smiled and walked in.

"I think we should throw everything away." I suggested.

Edward nodded as he followed me into the kitchen. I threw all the bags away into the trash can followed by Edward. He had his lips pursed, and his look way distant, like if he wasn't really here. I sighed leaning against the counter, and taking this moment to think to myself.

Were we really going to kiss back there? No. That's impossible. The thing that bothered me the most is how much I wanted to kiss him. It wasn't that much as a surprise to me though, because I knew that no matter how hard I tried, Edward would always be my first love, and that's pretty hard to get rid of.

But I didn't expect the urge to be so strong. It had been years since I felt something like that. The last time that happened was on New Years in my junior year and it was with Edward, but this time it was so much stronger.

What would have happened if we had kissed though? That would have been a big mistake. Right? Yeah…because of Derek and Alex…and the baby. But does that mean that it would have been right without them? I shook my head. This was too much for me right now.

I looked up at Edward. He was still looking down at the floor….the crazy look that I knew all too well, in his eyes. I smiled to myself. Some things never change. I remember when he used to protect me all the time at school. Like that one time in high school.

-:- _flash back -:-_

"_Edward! Come on!" I called. _

"_Going!" He yelled back. He was still in the boys locker room changing, and I really didn't like being the only girl waiting out here. _

"_Hey Bells." Emmett said coming towards me. "What ya doin' here?" He asked, glancing from me to the entrance of the boy's locker room. _

_I felt my cheeks heat up. _

"_Waiting for Edward." I said quietly. He chuckled, but I heard the snarls behind him, and that's when I saw them. The fan girls. They followed Emmett everywhere when Rose wasn't around, and then when she was around, they would follow Edward instead. _

_It was sickening. They hated me because of Edward, Emmett, and now Jasper too. I was the only girl besides their girlfriends, that they would hug, or touch, or even include in conversation, and that bothered their fans to no end. _

"_Aw squirt…come on, don't go all red on me." Emmett laughed, throwing an arm causally over my shoulder. Oh crap. There were more snarls. "Eddie can't go anywhere without you now can he? He's even got you waiting here. Boy he must really love you." More snarls, and another blush and heart skip from me. "Well my little Belly-Boo, I'll talk to you later. Come to our house tonight." Arm off my shoulder, and a little less snarls. "Oh Bella!" Oh no. "Can you help me take this shirt off, it's all stuck to me, and nasty, and I don't think any of the guys would want to help me, plus Rose isn't here." Ah! _

_I always helped Emmett out, but not with his fan girls watching. I gulped, my cheeks reddening, but turned to face him. You see, when he played football, the shirt would get stuck to him, and soaked. There was no way of taking it off without help, because he had to hold the pad gear under the shirt, plus he was huge. So I usually helped while I waited around. But this was in front of the 'fans' so it wasn't going to be good. _

_Emmett lifted his arms up, and I slowly, trying to be careful took the shirt off. He sighed, relaxing now that he was out of the filthy shirt, and turned, so that I can help with the padding. When they were all off, he smiled at me. _

"_Thanks squirt." With that, he placed a kiss on my forehead and turned around to go into the locker room. Crap. I turned to face the wrath of the evil fan girls. _

"_You're such a slut Swan." One of them said. I blushed, but looked down ignoring them. _

"_Yeah, what will Rosalie think when she knows you've been sneaking around with her boyfriend?" Another called out. I shrinked back more into the wall. _

"_She does the same with Jasper." The first one said. I didn't mind what they were saying…at first, because they were just jealous of my friendship. But when they mentioned Rose and Alice, it just pissed me off. _

"_Shut up! They're my best friends, I wouldn't do that." I shouted. They all looked at me, swinging their bleached blonde hair back with their perfect little manicured hands. _

_Clones. _

"_Shut it Swan. Do you know what we're going to do to you?" The one in the front asked. I knew that if they were to hit me, I wouldn't take it. I'm not one for fights, and I knew I could beat maybe two at a time, because they were copies of Paris Hilton, meaning not that strong and just skin and bones, but there were five. I couldn't take that much. _

"_What?" I managed out. They stepped forward in perfect sync. _

"_We're going to-" _

"_You're going to shut up and leave." Edward's voice came behind me as he wrapped his arm around my waist protectively. He was all cleaned and showered, and looking as perfect as ever. I sighed in relief, in which he smiled down at me. _

"_You ok?" He asked. I nodded, and he looked back up to them. "You'll leave Bella alone, and if I catch you bothering her again, you will be sorry." He threatened. They seemed to get the message, and turned on their annoying little heels and 'clacked' away. _

"_Whew." I let out a gush of air. Edward smiled removing his arm from my waist, just to put it over my shoulder. I smiled brightly, the pink reaching my cheeks. _

"_Those girls are really annoying." He laughed. I nodded in agreement. _

"_You have no clue. I didn't know it was so hard to have good looking friends." I said teasingly. Edward smirked at me. _

"_I'm good looking then huh?" He asked. I felt my eyes go wide, and my cheeks turn even redder. _

"_No!" I blurted out. "I mean, I-uh…" I stuttered, until I broke out laughing, and covered my face with my hands. Edward kept us walking forward, his arm still around my shoulder as he laughed. _

"_It's ok Bella." He assured, a laugh escaping his lips. He tightened his arm around my shoulder, and then brought it up around my neck, giving me a knuckle sandwich with his other hand, but it was soft. _

"_Hey!" I shouted, trying to escape. He just laughed at me. "Come on Edward!" I laughed. Finally I ducked down from under his arm, and ran across the grass in the campus. _

"_Hey!" He shouted running after me. I knew I would trip, and I knew he would catch up, and just like if the world was trying to prove me right, I tripped on thin air and fell straight on my face, the grass making it softer, therefore it didn't hurt. I laughed flipping onto my back, only to be met by Edward's body launching on mine. _

_I both loved and hated this. I loved it because I loved feeling Edward's body on mine, pressing against my every 'curve' like Rose and Alice call it. But I hated it because of the same exact reason. I always wanted to kiss him when he did this. _

_I laughed as he straddled me, and started tickling me everywhere. _

"_Ed-Edward, Please!...stop!...ha-ha!...You win!" I tried to say through the gasps of laughter. Edward finally stopped, laughing himself, but before he could do anything, I flipped us over just when he was about to get up and straddled him, leaving him and myself with a surprised face. I had never done anything like that, but I liked the confidence, and I ignored the sudden heat that came to my cheeks, as I tickled Edward this time, making him laugh hysterically. _

"_Ok! Ok! I get it! You win!" He gasped. I laughed as I finally got off of him, and landed on next to him. I missed the feel of our bodies together, but I ignored it. "You are evil." He stated, only making me laugh harder. _

"_I know. I'm still your best friend though." I said, sticking my tongue out. He chuckled. _

"_Yeah…always were, always will be."_

_-:- End Flashback -:-  
_

I remember that day so clearly. The fan girls still bothered me, but it was worth it as long as it ended like that every time, I really didn't mind. I chuckled a little before finally looking up once more at Edward. He was staring at me.

"What's so funny?" He asked. I shook my head.

"It's nothing." I assured. He shrugged.

"Well, I think I'm going to take a shower now…." He said. I nodded, a bit sad that he was leaving. I'm guessing he didn't fail to notice the close proximity in the car. He looked at me once more, a bit dazed before walking away from me and to the stairs.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. Finally after a few deep breaths, I turned around, and wobbled over to the living room. Jasper was there, watching TV. He heard me coming in, and turned to look at me, smiled and then patted the seat next to him. I wobbled over towards him and sat down.

"You get bigger and bigger every day, if that's possible." He noted. I chuckled, and patted my stomach, when there was a sudden kick. He's been kicking a lot lately.

"Oof." I let out, as another kick followed. "He's a kicker." I chuckled rubbing the spot.

"Yeah…Alice wants a baby too." He announced. I looked at him surprised.

"That's great Jasper!" I said happily. He smiled, and I could see that he too was happy about it.

"I know, can you imagine?" He asked. Just then, I tried to imagine Alice with a huge stomach, picking clothing out, and colors for a bedroom. Yeah…good luck with that Jazzy. I chuckled.

"Yeah…I can." I said. It was silent for a moment, but not uncomfortable. You could NEVER be uncomfortable with Jasper around.

"So Bella, how are things going?" He asked. I sighed.

"They're good…" I said, but my smile was pretty fake.

"It doesn't look like it." He noted. I hate it when he's perceptive.

"Ok, to be honest…I don't even know what's wrong. It's just….something is missing….or off….I don't know what it is, but it has me going crazy." I said. It was true. I really felt like something was wrong, something just wasn't there, but I couldn't put my finger on it. "I mean I haven't even talked to Derek in days, and it's funny because I'm usually the one telling _Edward_ to talk to Alex, and I can't even keep my own relationship in check." I said exasperated. Jasper put a calming hand on my shoulder.

"It's ok Bella." He assured. I snapped then, and the worst part, was that I didn't know why.

"No! It's not fine! I don't even know what's fine anymore Jasper! I don't even know what's going on! I don't know if I want this life anymore! I don't know anything!" I yelled. Jasper stared at me wide eyed, and I took a deep breath. Jasper didn't deserve this, especially when I didn't even know what I was talking about anymore. "I'm sorry Jasper." I whispered. He just blinked at me, his eyes glazed over for a moment.

I started feeling bad. These hormones just really get to me huh? Jasper didn't do anything to me, and look how I treated him. He was only trying to help. Suddenly Jasper gasped and he looked at me with such a knowing and surprised look, that I raised my eyebrow. He smiled suddenly, no, he didn't smile, he grinned, a grin so big that it was scary.

"Bella, I think you should go talk to him." He said suddenly. I furrowed my brow. Talk to who? I was really confused. What was Jasper talking about?

"Huh?" I managed. Did he mean Derek? Jasper shook his head.

"Go talk to Edward." He said. That just got me more confused. Why should I go talk to Edward? What would I say?

"Talk to him about what?" I asked. Jasper smiled.

"Tell him what you just told me." He said. I looked at him confused.

"Why?" I asked. "You want me to go off on him too?" There was no other explanation. This made no sense.

"No Bella, just do as I say." Jasper urged, practically pushing me off the couch, so with a confused look, I got up.

* * *

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**E.P.O.V**

I put on my shirt, when I heard a knock on the door. I didn't know who it was, but Emmett and Derek were outside with Carlisle playing football, and Alice was with Rose and Esme up in there room along with Alex, so that only left Bella and Jasper. I quickly walked to the door, and opened it. There was Bella, standing with a confused expression on her face. It's almost like she forgot that she was standing there. I cleared my throat, hoping to catch her attention. She looked up at me suddenly.

"Oh! Um, hey." She said. I smiled, but wondered exactly why she was still here.

"You need something?" I asked after a minute. She smiled shyly, and I had to bite down on my bottom lip. She was pushing me, and just with a smile. God, I'm pathetic.

"Yeah….can I talk to you?" She asked. I looked at her confused for a moment before opening the door full way and letting her come in. She sighed but walked in, sitting down on the edge of my bed.

"So what's up?" I asked, taking a seat next to her. She pursed her lips.

"Jasper told me to come talk to you, but I think it's because you're my best friend….so he wants me to talk to you….anyway, I was telling him that something is wrong…and that's the thing…I don't know what it is, something is off. Something is missing, and it sucks because I have everything I want. I have a nice job back at home, I mean the bakery is working just fine, and I have Derek and a child, and I finally have you." She said turning to face me, her hands grabbing mine immediately. I took a deep, and sharp breath and let the feeling of her fingers in mine, sink in.

"And I finally have you, so that's great, because I have my best friend back, and everything is fine at last. You know? I have Alice back, my mom and dad, and I have Em and Rose, Esme, Carlisle…..but something is still missing, and that makes me feel selfish." She finally said in a low voice. I looked at her intensely for a moment.

Something was missing according to her. I just didn't know what it was that was missing for her. I didn't know what to tell her. I knew what was missing for me, and that was her, but I really couldn't help her out in this situation.

"I don't know what to tell you." I whispered.

"I know….it's like…Derek…I mean…I just….I don't know." She shrugged, holding on tighter to my hands. I sighed.

"Love sucks Bella. People get hurt, all the time." I said. Bella chuckled, but it was dry.

"I know, you used to tell me that all the time….but now that I think about it, Edward I think it is love that's bothering me." She said. I felt my heart start beating.

Could it be possibly what I was thinking? No, it couldn't….could it? Maybe it is, maybe she is starting to realize that her and Derek don't belong. But she probably doesn't belong to me either. Oh god, I've been saying how she and I are meant to be, but in reality how would I know? There is always the kiss, but I really don't think that's going to happen any time soon. I sighed frustratingly, making Bella look up at me.

When she did I saw that same fire I had seen today in the car. Today in the car when we got closer and closer, and when I looked at her eyes, I was sure we were going to kiss, but it never happened. Now that I look at her eyes again, maybe it will happen. Maybe not.

She started leaning in, her breathing ragged as mine, and her hands started moving from mine, up to my wrist, up my forearms and further up in a rhythm that was leaving a burning trail. I looked up at her eyes again, my body pretty tense as I looked at her from under my eyelashes. When I did look at her like that, her eyes widened, and became more smoldering if that was even possible, and she looked down at my lips, gulping. I started breathing harder. Oh god. It's going to happen. I know it is.

I found myself leaning down too, and eagerly. She moved her hands to my chest, making my heart beat faster, and the burning more potent, and then it happened.

It was like a shock. It wasn't just a spark. It was an explosion. It was like if we had been pushing the bomb to a limit until it finally exploded all the stress it had been holding. It was powerful. It wasn't just a peck either. When my lips met hers, it was like the puzzle piece again. They fit right, and felt right. Her warm lips moved against mine, and as the fire grew more and more, so did our pace. She became eager and as did I. I wasn't reluctant in the least, and neither was she, and that made happiness and hope bubble in me.

I let my fingers trail up to her face, touching the softness of it. Her face belonged under my touch, it belonged there. Her fingers belonged in my hair as she was doing it right now, and her tongue belonged in my mouth as she practically forced it in without a warning. I had never felt anything like this at all, and it was like falling in love all over. After that kiss I knew there was no way out. I was stuck. I was pinned there was no other choice. I was in love with Bella, and it was much stronger than I thought. It was almost painful from how strong it was. A kiss could say a million words, but I only needed to say three.

"I love you." I whispered against her lips.

* * *

**Hehe...yeah, like I said...'surprises'. Tell me what you thought, and be honest. review please!**

**Lyrics to Everlasting Friend by Blue October:**

_ A heartbeat skip, relationship  
Inside a bubble bath  
An icing drip below your lip  
So we undo the math  
A sudden slip between  
My pathetic sedatives  
A real-life script of how  
Mistakes became our medicine, so_

Delay the hurtful words  
Of complicated overcast  
Please take the message that I'm  
Picking up my chin at last  
I said my confidence  
It gets stronger when you're next to me  
But we pray from miles away  
In quest for what we long to be

I might crumble, I might take a fall again  
(Still missing you)  
I might crumble, I might take a fall again  
(Still missing you)  
I might crumble, I might take a fall again  
But you're my everlasting friend  
Everlasting friend

A heartbeat skip, relationship  
So we would stay up late  
A teardrop drip below your lip  
Beside the airport gate  
A sudden slip from where  
We used to be a year ago  
A real-life script of how  
Our hands would hold and not let go

But delay the mournful words  
Of complicated overcast  
Please take the message  
That you taught me how to live at last  
But I said my confidence  
It gets stronger when you're next to me  
But we wave respect goodbye  
In quest for what we long to be, but

I might crumble, I might take a fall again  
(Still missing you)  
I might crumble, I might take a fall again  
(Still missing you)  
I might crumble, I might take a fall again  
But you're my everlasting friend

Will you be coming home?  
(Everlasting friend)  
My everlasting friend, will you be coming home?  
(Everlasting friend)

I might crumble, I might take a fall again  
(Still missing you)  
I might crumble, I might take a fall again  
(Still missing you)  
I might crumble, I might take a fall again

I might crumble, I might take a fall again  
I might crumble, I might take a fall again  
I might crumble, I might take a fall again  
I might crumble, I might take a fall again  
I just want to know that you'll be coming home  
I just want to know that you'll be coming home  
I just want to know that you'll be coming home  
I just want to know that you'll be coming home

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	10. Look after you

**Ok, I just had to post this up because I know it was a big cliff hanger yesterday. This is a very short chapter but I hope you enjoy it….or not…I really don't know. Lol. **

**I hope I get A LOT of REVIEWS for this one, and THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU ALL FOR REVIEWING! You guys are amazing. Please, enjoy, and I wanted to talk to you guys about something, but that will be next chapter. Oh, and I was checking my traffic reader, or reader traffic thing, and I was surprised to see so many other people from other countries who read my stuff too, so that's awesome, and I wanted to say HI! Ok, lol, enjoy now. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but this chapter is VERY short, so just warning you there, OH! And listen to 'Look after you' by the Fray as you read this chapter, it's a demand and requirement. Lol.**

* * *

**Look after you**

Her lips had gone into an immediate stop, and as scared shitless as I was, I didn't let it get to me. Instead, with the new found confidence, I took the opportunity, and grabbed her face in mine, staring into her startled brown eyes. **(A/N: I'm nervous about this Chapter...)**

"Wh-what…huh?" She could barely make a sentence, and if it wasn't for the intensity of the moment, I would have laughed at her cuteness.

"I said that I love you." I repeated slowly.

I already knew the rejection that was coming, so I was ready for anything to happen, I just needed to get it out. It had not been a day since I found my new love for Bella, and the anxiety was already killing me.

"What are you talking about Edward?" She finally said, but it was barely a whisper.

I knew that I couldn't back down now, so as I swallowed the ridiculously large lump in my throat, and set my eyes on hers, I opened my mouth to speak.

"Bella, I love you. It's not just a friendship anymore; it's a lot more than that. I-I can't live without you Bella." I whispered. Bella looked at me, her eyes holding so many emotions that they were almost fogged over.

"Edward, no you're wrong. You love Alex." She said sternly, almost like she was trying to convince me. Though her voice held at least some emotion, her eyes had gone completely flat, and her face paler than usual. I shook my head furiously.

"No, I don't. I don't love Alex. I thought I did. But she opened my eyes. She let me realize. I never loved her Bella, I had always loved you, and I was too stupid to say something." I let out a sigh.

It was harder than I thought, and the weight was lifted off my shoulders, but my heart was only fluttering more than ever. I knew this would ruin our friendship, and more than ever I wish I could go back in time and stop myself from telling her, but I couldn't help it.

Finally she seemed to leave her zombie state, and anger flickered in her eyes.

"I was in love with you! You knew from the beginning, and now is when you decide to say something about it?! What the hell is wrong with you?!" She screamed.

I let my hands fall from her face, as I placed them on my lap. She was right.

"I know." I whispered.

"Yeah but it's a bit late now isn't it? Seriously Edward, do you know how complicated this makes things? I thought I was getting my friend back, not another problem in my life!" She yelled. I felt the hurt swallow me. I was just another problem as she described it.

But, as I remembered our kiss moments ago, my hurt only became anger.

"Is that what you were thinking when you kissed me?!" I yelled back. Bella cringed, and I almost felt bad for screaming at her. I was too hurt to care though. "Bella let's face it, things were ruined since the time I laid eyes on you the day you came back." I said. She looked down at the floor, biting her lip.

"What about Alex?" She finally whispered. I drew a short, dry laugh.

"She's the one who opened my eyes and let me see that I was in love with you." I said. Bella's head snapped up to look at me questioningly. "Bella, everyone knew. Everyone knew that you and I belonged together. Even Alex. As soon as she saw you, she knew. The only one who didn't was me. I've been in love with you since the first day I saw you, I was just too naïve." I explained.

My mind started spinning as I waited for her answer, watching her every move. Her eyes were full of tears, her teeth gnawing at the skin in her lip, and her hands placed firmly on her belly.

Her belly which had never been more inconvenient until now. I knew that if it weren't for that, I still might have a chance.

"Edward, we can't do this. You should have left it where it was." She whispered. I shook my head. She was never going to get it. It was too late though, I felt it as my heart started to become heavier by the second, until at any moment it would just fall.

"Bella it was all fine until I made a mistake."

"A mistake that ruined it all!" She snapped. "You had your chance Edward, you had your decision. Do you think I'm going to pick you now? I'm engaged and pregnant!"

Her words only made me cringe even more. This is when I lost all hope, the tears streaming down my face. I have never felt more like a pussy until these past two weeks. It seems like all I've been doing was crying, when Bella was in this position, that I put her in. I really suck. I made everything difficult, and then I fuck it up even more.

"Bella, I know you can't and won't pick me….." I whispered. A sob escaped her body, and as much as I wanted to comfort her…I couldn't move. "But just tell me you don't love me." I said. I needed to know. I needed to know if she really didn't care about me. Bella gasped, her eyes looking more pained than ever before.

"Edward…" She whispered. I shook my head.

"Say it." I practically demanded. Her eyes got wider. "Do you love me Bella?" I asked again. No answer. I let more tears escape my eyes as the hole in my chest grew deeper.

"Edward I will always love you." She whispered back. I snorted which surprised her.

"Not the way I love you." I argued. She bit her lip looking down.

"Always." She whispered more to herself than me.

This was it then. Nice going Edward, you fucked everything up even more than it already was. I not only lost what I could never have, but now I lost my best friend too. So this is heart break huh? It sucks. Big time. I didn't know what to think. I was never good enough for her and I should have known. I felt foolish now for even thinking that Bella and I belonged together. We obviously didn't.

I could have kept my best friend, and let the pain eat me; at least it wasn't as harsh as this pain. Now I lost everything, and I'm a burning man.

"Edward, this is so messed up." She finally said. I shook my head.

"No, it was my fault."

"Edward! Just stop saying it's your fault!" She yelled, catching me by surprise.

"It is." I disagreed.

"No! It's not! This is all just a big misunderstanding!"

"Me loving you is a misunderstanding?! This is my heart that we're fucking with Bella." I yelled back. Bella cringed, but kept her stare straight on me.

"This is my heart too Edward, and in case you haven't noticed, it's already been broken before!" She yelled back. I gasped, taken aback.

She didn't have to play that card. I knew exactly how much I hurt Bella, she didn't have to remind me. She bit her lip, regret covering her beautiful eyes. The pain in my chest only grew sharper.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. I shook my head.

"It doesn't matter." I said stiffly, though it did matter. I lost everything. Game over.

"What's going on here?" I turned around to see Derek and Alex by the door, Alex wearing a knowing look, and Derek confused. I shook my head, a couple tears escaping me and a sob breaking from Bella. Derek was at her side in an instant. Alex came walking towards us, but lingering around the door.

"Bella don't make a stupid mistake." Alex said. Bella's eyes snapped up to look at Alex, confusion in them as Derek held Bella close to him. I couldn't move. It was all like a slap in the face. Before I knew it everyone was in the room.

"Alex…leave it. It's done, it didn't work." I warned. "I think we should go home." I added, but it was barely a whisper. Alex looked at me with angry eyes.

"No! I'm tired of this mess!" She yelled, her hands going to pull at her hair. "Everyone, listen up. Edward and I are getting a divorce." There were so many gasps, and another pair of sobs, but I kept my blurry vision on the floor. "We don't belong together. Bella and Edward do. Let's stop being idiots and just admit it. They love each other, Derek knows, I know, you know, Edward knows, and Bella should know by now. End of story. When Edward and I get home, I'm moving, maybe I'll spend some time with my sister. Bella and Edward should be together, and Derek knows this, and is willing to give Bella up because he knows way too well. The first thing he said to me when we were alone was 'When are you and Edward divorcing?' He knew. We all knew, so let's stop being stupid and just let them be." This is when I looked up at Alex. She acted like this was so simple, when in reality it wasn't.

After a couple minutes of silence, Alice finally made the first move. She went to stand right in front of Bella, her eyes weak yet hopeful.

"Bella, do you really love my brother?" Alice asked. Bella seemed hesitant, as my breath caught in my throat, a bit of hope springing into my system. Finally Bella just broke into a sob. I sighed.

"It's not that simple Alex." Rose finally said. Everyone turned to stare at her. "Bella is pregnant, and it's Edward's decision and Bella."

I decided not to pay attention after that. This wasn't really the conversation I wanted to engage upon. My heart had just been chattered, and they're acting like if we're two little kids as she sit there and solve our problems for us. Pathetic. I shook my head, finally walking out of the door. It was all over.

She was the one I wanted. The one who put a smile on my face, the one who made me laugh, and really laugh, the one who made my heart skip a beat, the one I can trust, the one I can joke with, the one who I could stay with for hours on the phone, not say a thing, and still say I had fun. But, she was also the one who could break my heart into pieces. She could have taken whatever she wanted, she could have taken all of me, and she did. I tried to tell her, I wanted to be hers, but that's just not possible is it?

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**Here are the lyrics for Look after you by the Fray. Tell me how felt when you read this chapter with the song playing, and how it made a difference, or what. Lol. I hope you enjoyed, and review. **

_If I don't say this now I will surely break  
As I'm leaving the one I want to take  
Forgive the urgency but hurry up and wait  
My heart has started to separate_

_Oh, oh,  
Be my baby  
Ohhhhh  
Oh, oh  
Be my baby  
I'll look after you_

_There now, steady love, so few come and don't go  
Will you won't you, be the one I'll always know  
When I'm losing my control, the city spins around  
You're the only one who knows, you slow it down_

_Oh, oh  
Be my baby  
Ohhhhhh  
Oh, oh  
Be my Baby  
I'll look after you  
And I'll look after you_

_If ever there was a doubt  
My love she leans into me  
This most assuredly counts  
She says most assuredly_

_Oh, oh  
Be my baby  
I'll look after you  
After You  
Oh, oh  
Be my baby  
Ohhhhh_

_It's always have and never hold  
You've begun to feel like home  
What's mine is yours to leave or take  
What's mine is yours to make your own_

_Oh, oh  
Be my baby  
Ohhhhh  
Oh, oh  
Be my baby  
oh, oh._


	11. Victims of love

**Thank you all so much for the reviews, I really appreciate it. This chapter is a bit short, but I hope you enjoy, and I'm so glad you all find a passion in my story. Thank you so much. :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**Victims of Love by Good charlotte.**

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**Victims of Love:**

"I can't believe this is happening." I whispered softly. The hole in my chest was reopened, and so many thoughts were flowing through my mind that I couldn't even form them. I was so confused, and so in shock that I could barely move. Alice snorted.

"I can." Everyone turned to look at her. "Come on! You all knew it was going to happen. I was just waiting for it to finally work out." Alice said. I didn't even bother looking up at her. I didn't want to meet the smug smile on her lips, or the eyes of everyone.

"Bella, why didn't you just say yes to him?" Derek asked softly. My head snapped up to look at him, my eyes holding utter disbelief.

Not him too! What was wrong with him? Did he not love me anymore? Does he not trust my faith in him? So many questions were running through my head.

"Because Derek, I don't like him." I snapped. Everyone in the room quieted down to look at us. The tension was thick. How could he do this?! What was wrong with him?!

"What I want to know is where this leaves us!" Rosalie said suddenly. We all looked at her. "Think about it. Edward and Alex are done, what about Derek and Bella? Where do we from here? Does the vacation end? Do we hate each other?" Rosalie asked, getting more aggravated with each question. "Why did Edward open his mouth now anyway? Why not three years ago?"

"Such a great reunion, going to waste." Esme said. She looked up at me, tears in her eyes, as they filled with hope. "Bella, what do you feel?" Esme asked. I looked at the seven pairs of eyes that turned to me. Alex and Edward were gone, and that only left the rest of us here. I didn't know what to say. Actually I knew exactly what I wanted to do. And that was disappear.

"Why are you guys putting so much pressure on me?" I finally said. "Everything was going fine! You can't force me to like Edward!"

"We don't have to. You already do." Alice snapped. I turned to glare at her.

"Alice, I don't. And does it look like it matters? Does it look like it matters what I want?" I snapped back, through my tears.

"Bella this is about what you want. No matter what the choice is, it will be the right one. Don't spare any feelings. Choose what you want." Derek said softly, patting my back. I looked up at the family.

Rosalie looked at the verge of tears, her face red from anger, and Emmett….Emmett. Emmett looked so broken. I had never seen him one time where his grin was off his face. Then there was Carlisle and Esme, both looking pale, and upset as well, from knowing that their son was suffering, and that their perfect family was at ruins. The last faces that I saw, were Jasper and Alice. Jasper wasn't even related to Edward, and he was just as sad as Alice, who looked about ready to sob, hope filling her eyes.

I saved Derek's eyes for last. They were defeated, he knew he was going to lose me. He had a small, sad smile on his lips as he stared back at me. Determined to give me up for my own happiness.

They all depended on me, and it made me feel like it was my duty to choose Edward because that's what they wanted, even my own husband! But what about what I wanted? Exactly what did I want?

Technically, my head was saying Derek, because I have my future built with him, and I wouldn't want to hurt him. But a life with Derek is a life without Edward, and I couldn't live with that.

A life with Edward would be happiness, and I would be with my family, and Derek would even be my friend at one point. Everybody wins, and I could be happy. I see it now, how my kids would look like, and everything. But, I already have a kid. I'm having Derek Jr. I don't want to be a separate family or divorced parents. And what about Alex? How much is she suffering? What about Edward?

I shook my head. This was too much. "I don't know what I want!" I yelled, before hopping off my feet.

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I was finally able to escape them. After a while, they just started arguing, and I took that as my chance, and bolted for the door. I could not take everything. It was all happening too fast for me.

I took in a sharp breath as I ran for my truck. The baby gave a kick, and I bent down as the sharp pain came to my stomach. It was almost like a sign or something, but I didn't stop. I kept going. I opened the door, hopped in, turned it on, and drove off. I didn't even bother checking what speed I was driving at. I just kept going. I needed to keep going.

* * *

**E.P.O.V**

"She's gone!" I heard someone yell from upstairs. I was too numb to move. I could care less what they were talking about. It was all too much to take anyway.

"Bella!" I heard another shriek. That's when my head snapped up from my pillows, and I felt myself running to the bedroom.

"What?" I asked. Everyone turned to look at me.

"She's gone!" Alice shrieked. I was confused for a moment. Wasn't she just in here? Where did she go? How could they have let her go?!

"You just noticed this?!" I asked, anger bubbling up inside of me. "You were too busy with your own wants that you didn't even see her leave?! Did you ever think that maybe she really didn't want me?!" I screamed. I was angry, and my own words burned the hole in my chest even further as a few drops of tears fell from my eyes.

"I'm sorry, I-" I didn't let her finish. Everyone was clearly upset, desperate, or guilty. I wiped the tears from my eyes.

"We have to find her." I said. They all nodded as they followed me to the garage. "Everyone check around town, I'll go to her parent's house." I ordered. They nodded again, desperate to find her. Derek looked about ready to kill himself. I wanted to snort, he had no idea what pain was…..but then again, he did love Bella.

"What if we don't find her?" Esme sobbed. I tore my gaze away from her.

"We have to." I whispered. I didn't stay long enough to even see who got on which car. I just hopped into mine, and drove off into the streets. I needed to find Bella. Just mentioning her name brought another pain in the chest.

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**B.P.O.V (Oops. I had put E.P.O.V. My bad. lol, thanks "AJ")  
**

I didn't know where I was going, nor did I care. I thought about going downtown, it really didn't matter. Maybe I would go to one of my old friend's house. Either way, I found myself going to my parent's house. I needed my mom. This was too much to think about.

Everything was going perfect. Everything was fine! Now I'm confused. Everyone is hurt, and depending on me. Why did they do this? They couldn't keep it how it was?! Why did I fall in love with Edward?!

I gripped tighter to the steering wheel, my foot pressing harder on the gas pedal. I don't understand how this could happen!

Why did Edward have to fall in love with me?! Me, of all people! He just had to didn't he? Why couldn't he stay with his wife?!

Were we really meant to be?

No! We couldn't! He could have avoided this whole situation, and just left everything where it was!

I let tears escape my eyes as I bit my lip harder. The baby kicked once more, making a sharp pain on my side. I ignored it. The adrenaline from the anger, the speed, the baby.

More kicks, more tears, more speed.

More kicks, more tears, more speed.

Even more tears, more kicks, and more speed.

Crash!

I felt the scream build up, and release in my throat, as another pair of lights came crashing with mine, and the pain started in my head, as I heard the glass breaking, almost exploding. Lights filling my eyes, as my heart pumped in my ears, the pain in my stomach becoming sharper, and the pain on my side as I felt myself on something pointing, cutting through my skin. Then the smell of blood…..rust and salt, filled my nose. That's when it went black.

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**E.P.O.V**

"Where is she?!" I asked, panic filling my voice. I had just gotten the call. They had found Bella in the streets; she had been in a crash. I felt my heart swell, as the possibilities ran through my head. This is all my fault for telling her in the first place.

My eyes met Alice's tearful gaze. A sob escaped her body. "They just took her in. They might need to get the baby out earlier." Alice sobbed again. I felt my heart tore once more. This could not be happening. I stopped in front of everyone, shock running through my veins.

This day couldn't be happening. It just couldn't. This was all a nightmare…..but why did it feel so real?

It was my fault.

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* * *

**Alex.P.O.V**

"I just can't believe this is all happening." I heard Rosalie murmur to herself as she sat down. I walked forward, everyone had gone somewhere leaving only Rose in the hospital entrance. I took a deep breath.

I couldn't believe it when I heard Bella had been in a crash. I felt bad, and I felt even worse when I thought about how Edward was taking it. Edward.

The pain in my chest ached at just the thought of his name. I always knew he couldn't be mine, so I decided to just push that thought aside. Though, when I heard Bella was in a crash, I couldn't help but feel hope that maybe Edward and I were meant to be. That Bella would die.

It made me feel so guilty that I wanted to cry. I couldn't believe I would even think of something like that. Could you really blame me though? Yes, you can. That thought is out of the question.

I finally sat down next to Rose, causing her to look up at me. When she saw me she only glared. I looked at her confused. What?

"This is all your fault." She growled. I looked at her surprised.

"My fault?" I asked with disbelief. Rosalie gave me another icy stare.

"You couldn't keep your mouth shut could you?" She hissed. I shook my head. She was just saying things.

"Is that how you really wanted it to go?" I asked. "You wanted it to go unnoticed? That he wouldn't have even noticed he was in love with her?"

She sighed.

"No, but I wish it hadn't gone like this." She admitted, running a hand through her hair. "I can't imagine how Edward is taking it. Or Derek." She whispered.

Ah Derek. Derek would die for Bella. That's why he would give her up. He knew that he could find happiness else where as long as Bella was happy. He also knew that Edward loved Bella a million times more than he ever could. Derek knew well.

"What about her parents?" I asked. Rosalie sighed.

"They were contacted. Charlie is out of town on a business trip, so Renee decided not to call him. She's in the hospital somewhere right now." Rosalie said.

"I hope she's alright." I whispered. Rosalie nodded in agreement.

"She's my best friend." She shrugged.

This was something I could never have. That's another thing I envied from Bella. Love. She had love pouring from every corner and from everyone. And as much as I hated to admit it, even I loved her. It was this thing about her, she was just so pure, and innocent. I couldn't help but love her in some form. But at the same time I hated her. I hated her for stealing my man. Even though I gave him to her. I sighed running a hand through my hair.

"What do you think will happen?" I asked. Rosalie looked at me with tears in her eyes.

"I have no idea."

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**I know what you're thinking, so write it down. Review! Tell me what you think will happen next, if anyone guesses or is even close, I will post your name, and declare the winner. :) Thank you! **


	12. Lost

**I'm sorry.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

* * *

**Lost**

**E.P.O.V**

I took a deep breath. They weren't letting us in at all. According to my father, Bella had just woken up, and she was going to need some serious stitching on the side of her forearm. She had minimal head injuries, maybe a few stitches there too. What really got damaged were her arm, and her left leg….and the baby. They made sure she hadn't received a concussion, and apparently she hadn't. Her arm must have blocked her away from any serious head damage. As soon as this was discovered, they had to get ready to perform an emergency C session. **(A/N: Sorry, not good with medical terms, so it might be wrong.)**

Renee has been here all day, and she has talked to Carlisle and Esme, she said hi to us, and after that broke down to tears with my mom. She went in to see Bella a couple times, but after that, I didn't really pay attention. She was freaking out.

I don't know what's going on now, but all I do know is that there might be a possibility that the baby will die. Right now they're preparing everything for the C session, and the family is just sitting around, vulnerable, crying. I didn't know what to do with myself.

I wanted to scream at Bella. How could she be so stupid?! How could she be so careless? But at the same time, I wanted to blame myself. If I hadn't said anything, this would all be fine, and we wouldn't be here at 2 in the morning, crying.

Derek doesn't know what to do with himself, and if you think he has it bad, wait until you get a load of me. I can't even cry, move, or anything. All I do is sit and blink. There is nothing to do. I can't lose her. If I lose her I'll die. It's like a vortex sucked all my thoughts out. It's so surreal, it hasn't even settled in yet.

"Derek!" I heard Carlisle call to him as he ran over to us. He had his scrubs on as he stared at us. He looked ready to perform the C session, but a worried look was on his face.

"I can't do it!" Carlisle cried. We looked at him confused, and for the first time in two hours, I moved. I moved my head to look at him. "If we perform the C session we'll lose the baby. She has to push him out naturally, but I don't think she's ready. We're waiting for her water to break or some sort of sign. The only way out is to do C session and she won't let us if it means killing the baby. Derek it's up to you." Carlisle tried to explain. A panic expression took over Derek as he looked at us.

He bit his lip furiously as he thought hard. I felt my heart rate pick up. I didn't want the baby to die. I had even grown a connection with it.

"Why can't she go natural?" Rose asked, panicked. Carlisle shook his head, tears pooling in his eyes for the first time. It hurt.

"We could lose _her._" He whispered. That woke me up.

"NO!" I shouted. Everyone looked at me shocked. "We can't lose her!"

"Oh Edward! I thought you'd stay a zombie forever!" Esme sobbed as she came to hug me. I almost pushed her off as I marched in front of my dad.

"Do something!" I shouted. He shook his head.

"Edward, the baby is in a very delicate state, and Bella is too weak to go into labor. Her water hasn't even broke yet. One of them has to die." Carlisle said. I felt the angry tears fall out of my eyes.

This was my entire fault! All of it! One of them had to die now! I would not lose Bella! She couldn't leave me! No god please!

"I want to see her." I stated. My father began to shake his head, but I stopped him. "I want to see her." I stated more sternly.

"Derek is her husband-" He started.

"Derek can't make a decision, but I can. I _need _to see her. I'm her best friend." I said. Carlisle looked at me skeptically, before sighing and nodding.

"Alright. Follow me." Carlisle lead the way before we stopped in front of her door. I took a deep breath, and walked in. I didn't know what to expect, and at the moment, it was like I wasn't even really in my body. It was all fuzzy like a nightmare. There were nurses every where, tubes, beeping machines….everywhere.

"Edward." Bella whispered. She looked pale, the stitches in her arm, and on the corner of her head a butterfly stitch, the white band-aid covering it. I felt my knees go weak. She looked ready to die. I couldn't take it. I ran to her side in an instant, already crying. I didn't know what I was doing, and I could barely hear myself. It was like watching me from another point of view. My eyes were focused on her, but I wasn't really here. My mind was unfocused. It was like I was somewhere else, someone else.

"Bella listen to me." I said, putting my hands on the side of her face. "I know you hate me, and that's alright. But please don't leave me." I whispered. She looked at me softly.

"I don't hate you." She whispered back.

"Bella you can't leave me here. You can't leave us." I said.

"I can't leave my child." She stated stubbornly. I sighed frustratingly. There were so many things to say, and so little time. That's why I needed to save her life. To talk to her, to see her, to touch her, to love her.

"Bella, I won't let you die." I snapped back. She narrowed her eyes.

"So you'll let him die?!" She looked down to her belly. I sighed. I knew I couldn't.

"Bella you can't just-"

"Oh!" She gasped suddenly. I tore my hands away from her face.

"What? What happened?! Are you hurt?!" I asked looking around. She started breathing heavily.

"My water broke!" She yelled. I froze in place. Oh shit.

At that moment I didn't listen to anyone or anything. I blocked everyone out; all I did was stare at Bella in amazement. This was really happening. I didn't see it when the doctors rushed to her side, or when they started yelling at me. I didn't do anything. The only thing that took me out of my state was when Bella said those four words that I was longing to hear.

"Stay with me Edward!" And I did.

I stayed with her, holding her hand, crying with her, telling her to push, telling her I loved her, and that she could do this, kissing her forehead when she looked tired, and rubbing over the stitches so that they wouldn't hurt. I stayed and watched as the doctors pulled the crying baby out, full of blood. I stayed and watched as Bella cried holding onto my hand with a death grip, and I stayed by her side, like a true friend would.

I cried when she cried, and I held onto her hand, whispering in her ear to stay with me. I didn't bother looking at the baby, I just looked at Bella. I saw as she shut her eyes closed, crying in pain. I saw as her nose scrunched up, and then when she started screaming. All the while, I wasn't really there.

"Where's my baby?!" She screamed. I looked around, there were doctors everywhere, it was a huge mess. "My baby!" Bella sobbed.

And that's when the shock and reality finally dawned on me.

* * *

**B.P.O.V**

"I can't believe this. Such a disaster." I heard the voices, and sobs. They were very faint, but still there. The pain in my ribs was still sharp, and I winced.

"Did she just move?" Another voice asked. I tried very hard to open my eyes. It was pretty difficult, the light was burning them, but all in all I was able to. I blinked a couple times, the moist filling my eyes from the burn. There were gasps.

"Oh Bella!" I felt tiny arms swing themselves around me. Alice. I winced again and groaned as the pain in my ribs returned.

"What's wrong?" Another voice asked beside me. I turned my head to see Edward checking me up and down for any damage. "What hurts?" He asked looking back at me. His eyes were full of concern.

"It's nothing." I said softly. Looking back down. I didn't want to meet his green gaze….it was too beautiful.

"Good." He sighed before throwing his arms around me. I softly, slowly tried to wrap my arms around him, as I felt his cool, smooth chest against mine. I felt warm, and fuzzy, comforted….better. "I was so worried about you!" He said. "Your mom was just here, she just had to go talk to Carlisle and Derek…..Don't ever scare me like that Bella." He whispered in my ear as he hugged me closer.

"What happened?" I asked. I started looking around the room as he pulled away. It was only Alice, Esme, and Edward. Why was my mom with Derek and Carlisle?

Esme started sobbing as she came to wrap her arms around me. I stared at everyone confused as a look came on their faces. They didn't want to meet my gaze. "What happened?" I asked more hysterical, as Esme pulled away from me. I looked around me. I knew I was in the hospital. That much was clear. I suddenly looked down at my stomach. It was flat. My baby.

It all started to come clear to me. I suddenly remembered everything perfectly. The crash, Edward's confession, the hospital, my water broke……the birth. How could I forget the enormous pain I went through?

"Where is he?" I asked panicked. None of them looked at me. What had happened? Is he ok? Where is he? Where is everyone? What's going on? My head started swimming with questions, making me almost dizzy. This couldn't be happening!

"Bella….." Edward started. But he didn't need to finish. He died. My baby died. I started sobbing, the loss and pain so much worse than any other pain I've felt. Worse than when Edward left me. It was too much. I carried him for nine months! That was my child. Mine. He came from me. I felt the hysteria start to grab at me as I sobbed. I started screaming. I couldn't believe this was really happening. How did it come to this?!

"No! NO!" I screamed. My baby. Esme and Alice started sobbing as Edward bent down, to grab my arms. The pain in my ribs was worse than ever, but I didn't let that stop me. Where was Derek?! Suddenly the pain in my ribs was too much to take, and I let Edward grab me as he bundled me in his arms. I sunk myself in his embrace as I let the misery eat me raw. I wanted to die. If he's gone so am I.

"It's ok." Edward whispered in my hair. I sobbed into his chest, feeling comforted. This is where I wanted to be right now. If I couldn't be with my baby, I wanted to be in Edward's arms.

But not everything in life comes so easy.

* * *

_**PLEASE READ! I KNOW IT'S LONG….SORRY.**_

**I know it's very short. And it hurt me to write. I was so torn. But there is no way that baby would have survived that crash. I feel sick. I feel like a mother who just lost its child. How ironic right? RIP. **

**The winners, well there were many winners, but they weren't full on correct. They were just right on one part. **

**Ok, so the winners!:**

**Nobody got it full out right, but I'll give you credit for half of it, **

**-Carolina 81**

**-Ksangi, (You got one part right…as for Mike Newton….lmaoo. Nice.)**

**-Aj**

**-Chibbchen**

**-Missy4904**

**-seventeenforeverr (I don't hate you for your guess. Lmaoo, I hate myself for actually fulfilling it. I feel horrible!)**

**-Edward's La Tua Cantante**

**-Jadesabre75 (YOU ACUTALLY GOT IT ALL RIGHT! Because you only named one thing. Lol.)**

**-prettybutterfly14 (Don't worry I feel worse than you. :))**

**If I missed anyone then tell me. :)**

**Please read the lyrics: Lost by Michael Buble.**

_I can't believe it's over  
I watched the whole thing fall  
And I never saw the writing that was on the wall  
If I only knew  
The days were slipping past  
That the good things never last  
That you were cryin'_

_Summer turned to winter  
And the snow it turned to rain  
Then the rain turned into tears upon your face  
I hardly recognize the girl you are today  
And God I hope it's not too late  
Mm, it's not too late_

_'Cause you are not alone  
I'm always there with you  
And we'll get lost together  
Till the light comes pouring through  
'Cause when you feel like you're done  
And the darkness has won  
Babe, you're not lost  
When your world's crashing down  
And you can't bear the thought  
I said, babe, you're not lost_

_Life can show no mercy  
It can tear your soul apart  
It can make you feel like you've gone crazy  
But you're not  
Though things have seemed to change  
There's one thing that's still the same  
In my heart you have remained  
And we can fly, fly, fly away_

_'Cause you are not alone  
And I am there with you  
And we'll get lost together  
Until the light comes pouring through  
'Cause when you feel like you're done  
And the darkness has won  
Babe, you're not lost  
And your world's crashing down  
And you can not bear the cross  
I said, baby, you're not lost  
I said, baby, you're not lost  
I said, baby, you're not lost  
I said, baby, you're not lost_


	13. All we are

**Very, short, and brief update. Enjoy, review, and yeah… lol.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

* * *

**All we are by One Republic. **

It has been exactly two weeks since the…incident. Bella is doing much better than before, though she's still horrible. She barely eats, or talks, or sleep, or anything for that matter. It kills me. The guilt has been eating at me for two whole weeks, and I'm sure I look just like her, if not worse.

She's paler than normal, her hair has gone completely dry, and the only way to tame it is the messy pony tail that _Alice_ has to throw on her. Her eyes are completely flat, the gorgeous brown turning completely dead. She's lost all the baby weight and more, and looks more fragile than ever. She's a walking zombie. Derek is almost as bad as her, but he keeps his flushed color and nutrition from running around all day. Between the flight tickets that he had to cancel, to Carlisle, to Bella, to Renee, to us, he's been running around like a messenger pigeon.

I haven't been much help though. I stay with Renee sometimes, but that's just because I refuse to leave Bella's room. I started just coming in and sitting by her, as I watched nurse come in one by one. Then after about two days, I started touching her, grabbing her hand, her forehead, moving hair out of the way…anything. She ended up sobbing and asking me to sleep next to her.

I asked permission the first couple of times, and she would just nod. Now I just come and lay next to her, she rests her head on my chest, I wrap my arms around her, and then that's it. We don't talk at all. I barely talk, and Bella just doesn't talk at all. The most she said, was that one day. I had asked her why she kept me around instead of Derek.

"I need my best friend right now." She had whispered.

That's it. Those were her last words before she completely shut down. It was…..horrible to watch. I was just a burning man. The guilt was way too much for me to handle, and I had to watch her face, every time. It's like I killed her _again_. When it came to Bella, I couldn't do anything right.

Life sucks. That's all I have to say.

* * *

**A.P.O.V**

I could barely take it anymore. We were all going crazy. The baby was gone and dead, and I have no clue on what they did with his body. All we know is that it was a beautiful baby boy. He had his fathers blonde hair, but slightly darker, and the big cheeks and dimples, but his facial structure other than that, was just like his mother's.

Bella hasn't talked since her tantrum—which I don't blame her for—and if she has spoken, it's probably only been to Edward.

Edward was just as bad. He had lost a lot of weight, and his skin has lost its glow. His eyes were a forest green instead of the usual bright one, and he carried a dull or flat expression at all times. The only time he showed emotion was when something was wrong with Bella. His hair was just there, instead of that natural disheveled look, it was just……disheveled. He was a mess.

Renee was going crazy trying to get her daughter to talk, but gave up quickly. She has to go meet up with Charlie in a couple of days, and would have canceled for Bella, but she decided Bella needed time with Edward, and she knew she'd have to tell Charlie face to face. It would just be better that way, since he was on his trip. She could at least control the stroke it would give him.

Alex left. She couldn't take it. In my opinion it was a selfish move, but I couldn't exactly blame her for wanting to leave. Although, me and Rosalie both feel iffy about her. We know she's done no wrong, but we can't help feeling something against her. She didn't do anything wrong though, and this is clear.

Jasper is going crazy as well, just like Emmett. Emmett hasn't smiled. His sister, and nephew have just both practically died. Even if they weren't really related, that's just the way they feel. Jasper is the exact same way, he'll be growing grey hairs soon. He could barely sit still.

Esme and Carlisle are just as crazy. Esme has been crying these whole past two weeks. And Carlisle…..he's out of his mind. He doesn't know what to do, and he's trying to keep Bella in perfect shape. He feels like it's his fault for the loss of the baby.

Then there is Rose and me. Rose is almost as bad as Emmett. She doesn't smile, at all. All she does is either go see Bella, sit by her, and try desperately to get her to talk, or cry. She's been trying so hard to comfort Bella, even though Bella doesn't even look her way. She keeps her blank stare on Edward's chest all day. She just hides there. Derek doesn't even mind. He's just happy someone can take care of her. Rose though, is going mad. She's thrown at least two tantrums this week.

Me….I'm just trying to comfort everyone and figure this out. We need to do something. I want to know what's going to happen to Bella, and exactly what the plan is. When can she get out of this hospital? Her injuries are almost healed…so why is she still here?

I wish I could see the future.

* * *

**Em.P.O.V (Emmett)  
**

I hate this.

* * *

**J.P.O.V (Jasper)  
**

If we don't all calm down…I might just lose it.

* * *

**R.P.O.V (Rosalie)  
**

Why doesn't she talk already?! Does she hate me or something?! I'm going to kill Alex……then Edward.

* * *

**D.P.O.V (Derek)**

Oh shit.

* * *

**C.P.O.V (Carlisle)**

So much to do...I should have just gone with C-section. It might have actually worked.

* * *

**E.P.O.V (Esme)**

This is such a pity. Poor Bella….I can't imagine losing a child. I hope she doesn't do anything drastic.

* * *

**B.P.O.V (Bella)**

…. dot, dot, dot….

…

* * *

'**All we are' song starts here. This is where the lyrics/song count, where they belong.**

**One week later…. **

**E.P.O.V**

"I want to thank you all for taking care of me." Bella said weakly. She had been looking down, refusing to meet our gazes.

This week had been better. She got out of the hospital, and we had just gotten home yesterday. She went straight to bed…alone. Not even with Derek. I felt slightly better, but still horrible, just as horrible as Bella still looked. She sighed before looking up at us, her eyes flat just like her expression.

"I really appreciate it, you guys didn't have to….but I have an announcement." She said. We all stared at her, and for the first time in three weeks, I felt my heart beat accelerate. "I'm going back to California with Derek."

Cue heart shattering.

I didn't know exactly what I was expecting….but when Bella and I started getting closer, I thought that maybe…..I thought she would have picked me….in fact I was sure that I was already chosen.

It took me a moment for the rest of the words to sink in, and when it did, what ever little color that had been in my face, disappeared completely, making me albino. She was leaving? I felt my breathing come in ragged, as my fingers started to twitch.

I hadn't really thought that she would leave after what happened. The idea was just absurd through my eyes. The room was silent for a moment as everyone stared at her. Derek started walking down from upstairs, bags in hand.

"I need a break." She said, again flatly. She started fiddling with the hem of her shirt…well obviously Alice's shirt, that's how petite she had gotten. "Derek and I will be leaving now. I'm sorry. All of you. You helped so much…but….I need to figure things out. I'm not even sure what I'm going to do. I need to go home."

"This is your home." I hadn't realize that it was my rough voice that had spat the words. Bella looked at me, her expressionless face showing emotion for a moment before it disappeared to a mask once again.

"No Edward…..right now…this is just a graveyard of memories that are unwanted." She said. I felt the moisture tickle my eyelashes, but I didn't dare move.

"So this is it?" I asked. Everyone was just staring at us. Bella nodded. I sighed. "Fine." I whispered. I got up, ready to walk out, until I saw her.

I saw her face as she stared at me, weak and vulnerable…the same face from three years ago when our friendship ended. That whole time she had been patient, waiting for me to fall in love with her. And now she had been patient, waiting for me to befriend her again. That time she had died….and now she died too. Does that make the situations any different? No, it didn't. The only difference is that last time I gave up and left her. Would I do that again this time?

That's the thing though, I could kill Bella no matter how many times….I could hurt her…and that wouldn't change a thing. We would always belong together, one way or the other. So does that mean that I should just give up? No. I shouldn't. I would keep trying.

I knew exactly how Bella felt now. I walked practically walked in her shoes when I fell in love with her. I know now just how she felt when I rejected her. But I could never fill her shoes. She's taken steps that I couldn't dream of taking. She's strong. So do I say goodbye now? No. Because this isn't goodbye…but I'm not going to make the same mistake again.

I suddenly found myself practically running to her as I wrapped my arms around her body. She stood frozen for a moment, before wrapping her own arms around me.

"We don't have to say goodbye." I whispered.

"I know." She whispered back, finally letting emotion rip through her voice…and boy was it strong. I felt as one drop of moisture fell on my chest, and I knew it was hers.

"I will _always _love you." I whispered. She sobbed once before placing a kiss on my chest, making my heart stutter.

"I will always love you too." She whispered back, looking in my eyes.

It was chance…a glimpse, as she let me see all the emotion she felt….and it was too much. Too many feelings.

"We'll see each other again." I promised. She nodded.

And just like that….I let my best friend go.

* * *

**Review. (And YES! THIS IS A BELLA AND EDWARD STORY! IT WILL HAPPEN! But, it would be too cliche to get  
**

**All we are lyrics: I suggest you read them, as always, and listen to the song. Note, that this is the current version of All we Are, considering that there are now two version. This is the soft, one with mostly piano. **

__

I tried to paint you a picture, the colors we're all wrong  
Black and white didn't fit you, and all along  
You we're shaded with patience, and strokes of everything  
That I need just to make it, and I can see that...  
Lord knows I've failed you, time and again  
But you and me are all right

We won't say our goodbye's, you know it's better that way,  
We won't break, we won't die, it's just a moment of change  
All we are, all we are is everything that's right  
All we need, all we need, a lover's alibi

I walked a minute in your shoes, they never would have fit  
I figured there's nothin to lose, I need to get  
Some perspective on these words, before I write them down  
You're an island and my ship has run aground

Lord knows I'll fail you time and again,  
But you and me we're alright

We won't say our goodbye's, you know it's better that way,  
We won't break, we won't die, it's just a moment of change  
All we are, all we are is everything that's right  
All we need, all we need, a lover's alibi

And every single day that I can breathe,  
You change my philosophy,  
I'm never gonna let you pass me by

So don't say our goodbye's, you know it's better that way,  
We won't break, we won't die, it's just a moment of change  
All we are, all we are is everything that's right  
All we need, all we need, a lover's alibi (x2)


	14. You could be happy by snow patrol

**Enjoy. :)**

**OMG! I don't know if any of you noticed...but I didn't notice until just now...maybe none of you read this before until right now, but in the bottom of this story, all the way where the author's note was, I put a thing talking about a proposal...well it was a proposal, like for a wedding, but it wasn't for this story, it was for my other story called 'Foundations', so let's just pretend you never saw it if by some miracle you did see it...ok. so yea. Just wanted to let you know, because I was checking this chapter and I noticed that there was the glimpse that I had saved on the same file on my microsoft. The glimpse was for my other story, and I had written it in this file and forgot to delete it. That's why I deleted this chapter after adding it, and posted it up again with this long ass author's note. **

**So if any of you were able to see that part...can you tell me? lol. please and thank you. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. **

* * *

"I'm going to miss you so much Bella." Alice whispered in her ear, as she held Bella with all the might of her skinny little arms. Alice sniffled as she wiped a couple tears while letting Bella go. "You promise you'll visit?"

"Maybe you can visit…" Bella suggested, wiping one of Alice's tears. Her pale face was flushed, as she let a small, sad smile play on her lips. "My room needs redecorating."

Alice let a sob out in the form of a laugh. "I'm really going to miss you Bella." Alice whispered. Bella blinked a couple times, before wrapping her arms securely around Alice.

"You're like my sister." Alice said suddenly. Bella nodded.

"Always." Bella whispered back, before being taken into Esme's arms. They hugged for a while, Esme whispering sweet things in Bella's ear, and saying how great she's been doing. All the while I just stood there, leaning against the wall with my arms crossed.

"Carlisle." Bella said, before he gave her a warm hug. She hugged him back, gave him a kiss on the cheek and turned to face Jasper. He watched for a moment before finally giving in and running to wrap his long arms around her. She smiled as she hugged him back.

"When Alice and I have a kid….we're naming her Bella." Jasper whispered. Bella looked up at him, her eyes shining, almost for a moment, before she buried her head in his chest once more. He patted her in the back, planted a kiss on her forehead and let her go to walk to Alice. Alice and Jasper stood next to me, watching as Bella finally turned to Emmett who attacked her in a hug.

I could see from the corner of my eye as Alice cried. Emmett hugged Bella close. His huge, muscled arms enveloped her like if he was trying to protect her. He kissed her forehead as well.

"This is the first time I've cried since Ronald Lopez stole my ice cream bar in third grade." He admitted as a couple tears left his eyes too. Bella laughed, as a tear escaped her eyes. She reached up wiping Emmett's tears.

"I love you Em." She said. He smiled before wrapping his arms around her again. He finally let her go, slowly letting his hand slip from hers before joining us in the porch. Bella turned to meet Rosalie's gaze. They haven't been talking since the hospital and we were all anticipating this farewell.

They stood there staring at each other….until Rose finally broke into a sob and ran into Bella's arms. Bella sobbed too, wrapping her arms around Rose. They sobbed, as Rose repeated that she was sorry over and over again.

"I'm sorry Bella, so sorry. I love you so much. You're like my sister." Rose said. Bella sobbed as well.

"It's ok Rose." Bella sniffled. It was the first time she's shown any emotion in the past three weeks.

"I'm going to miss you." Rose said. Bella nodded before letting her go.

I stood there motionless…numb. Bella smiled slightly at me before walking to stand right in front of me. I looked down at her, her eyes watered with tears, and her cheeks finally red. I couldn't help it. I wrapped my arms around her.

I didn't know what I was going to do with myself while Bella wasn't here. I didn't know what I was going to do without seeing her smiling face every day. I just didn't know. I couldn't imagine it. Not without Bella.

"Edward…" I heard her whisper. I pulled away from the crook of her neck where my face had been hiding. I had been wanting to remember her smell. She looked up at me biting her lip, before she closed her eyes and reached up on her toes, her lips pressing to mine.

I felt the shock against my lips at first, and I was frozen, my eyes wide as I watched her kiss me. Then I started becoming coherent again, and I closed my eyes savoring the moment, as I heard the couple gasps. I loved the way her lips just fit on mine, shaping themselves…molding themselves on my own. I loved the shock that would pass through our bodies, and I loved the way my insides turned to mush and my stomach felt like a million butterflies were stuffed in. But most importantly, I loved the way one of my hands would go the back of her head, losing themselves in her brown waves of hair, and the way my other hand would go to her lovely face. I sighed in contentment as she finally pulled away.

She suddenly pressed her lips to my cheek before pressing to my ear and whispering, "I love you, forever." She pecked me one more time before running back to the car.

Derek sat there, looking at me with pained eyes, yet knowing…because he knew. I just stood there, amazed at what had just happened.

She had really just kissed me. That was real……maybe she did really love me…..

My attention finally snapped back to reality as I watched the car start to back out of the driveway, Bella waving at us sadly. Her eyes met mine for a brief moment….but that was all I needed, because in that brief instant, she showed me the emotion that I had wanted to see for these past four weeks…..love.

I smiled sadly to myself as I waved back at the disappearing car, my heart thudding in my ears. It was a strange feeling. Like if there really was a hole in my chest.

I was numb though, my arms falling to my side as I walked up back through the doors, the family staring behind me. I was almost expecting her to come back, since the moment was still so surreal. I was hoping, praying that she would drive back and say, "Kidding", but that just wasn't going to happen.

I walked back up the stairs to my room.

I knew I had to let her go. It was inevitable. I would not give up, but right now, she didn't need me in her life screwing everything up. But as she kissed me, and told me she loved me….the way she looked at me….I replayed it all in my head. It was my only hope that she really did love me. So I would go back to her. I wouldn't lose her. If I couldn't have her the way I wanted, than maybe I would have her as a friend. I sighed running my hand through my hair.

I still felt guilty for everything I said to her, and made her do. Everything I said led to this. It all led to our separation, but maybe separating is for the best. Maybe…just maybe she could realize exactly how much she loves me….or hates me.

But part of me felt stupid for actually letting her walk out of the door. I could have stopped her…. But I had to let her go. At least for now. Ah, but if I would have stopped her….what would have happened if I had stopped her? Would she had run into my arms? No. Because she just lost a baby, there isn't any time for thinking of romance when there is so much more to think about.

My memories started going back to all the good times with Bella.

_-:-_

_Flash Back:_

_Edward 12 and Bella, 11 years old. _

"_Edward, I don't want to go in there!" Bella hissed as I tried to push her into the haunted maze. Her cheeks blazed under the white make up caked on her face. She was dressed as a vampire, and I was too. _

"_Bella, what are you scared of?" I asked. Her eyes shifted from me to the maze, as another piercing scream broke through, ringing in our ears, and making mysterious steam in the entrance even darker. _

"_Edward, listen to the screams….I don't want to go in there." She whined. I shook my head. Of course she'd be scared…it's Bella. _

"_There is nothing to be scared of." I said. She shook her head, crossing her arms over her chest. _

"_No Edward. I heard there are some werewolves in there…and the boogie man….and a whole bunch of other such like big foot." She pouted. I smiled slightly, grabbing her shoulders, and bending down a bit to be at perfect eye level with her. _

"_I will fight off a hundred werewolves for you…."_

_She looked at me, her eyes sparkling for a moment. _

"_Pinky swear?" She asked putting her pinky out. I hooked my pinky with her small one. _

"_Pinky swear." _

_End Flash Back._

_-:-_

I laughed at the memory. Then there was that one time…..

_-:-_

_Flash Back:_

_Edward 16 and Bella 15 years old. _

"_Bella you have to wear something more revealing than just that." I could hear Alice's voice from the other side of the door. _

"_Dude, she's so putting a push up bra on Bella." Emmett laughed as he pressed his ear closer to the door. If he pressed it any further, there would be a hole on there. _

"_Bella would never wear that." I contradicted. Emmett snorted, taking his ear off the door, to look at me. I followed suit, and took my face away from the door as well. He looked at me in disbelief. _

"_I don't know if you've noticed Eddie…but Bella isn't a little girl anymore…she's one hot chick….and I hate to say this about her, because she's like a sister to me, and I'll kill you if you repeat this, but…." He shook his head, before looking at me again. "Anyone would do her, give her a year or two, and watch…even I would probably do her."_

_I looked at him shocked, my mouth hanging open. _

"_Emmett!" I hissed. He looked at me innocently. _

"_What?! I hate to say it, but you know its true Edward! You can't treat her like a little girl forever!" He defended. _

"_Oh, but you can?" I challenged. _

"_Yes! I'm her older brother." He said. _

"_Yea, older brother who wants to molest her!" I snapped. Emmett shrugged, with a 'Can you blame me?' look. I shook my head. I really couldn't blame him…as much as I hated to admit it. He was right…and he's seventeen, with a seventeen year old boy's mind. It's bound to happen. I sighed running a hand through my hair. _

"_It's all good though Eddie…I don't want her that way…I'm just saying…" Emmett said. Before he could finish, the door flew open, and there stood Bella, looking at us confused with Alice behind. Alice had made her wear a push up bra, and I had to stop the urge to gasp. Holy crap. I could see Emmett's gaze go down to her chest, and practically fly out of his sockets as he stared at her. The deep V-neck spaghetti strap did nothing to hide her. I gasped as I looked at Emmett. Pig! I wrapped my arm around Bella, hiding her into my side as she blushed, looking up at me with confused eyes. _

_I yanked my jacket off of me and put it on Bella's shoulders before wrapping my arms around her once more. I turned to look at Emmett. _

"_Perv." I yelled before walking with Bella down the stairs. I looked at her. "You're not allowed to dress like that ever again." I said jokingly, but seriously. _

_She just laughed. _

_End Flash Back._

_-:-_

I shivered. That day was really awkward and I don't think I'd ever like to go through something like that again. Suddenly I remembered another memory…a sweet one that I can't believe I had even forgotten.

_-:-_

_Flash Back:_

_Edward 15 and Bella 14_

_I looked at the couple making out once more. I felt Bella shift uncomfortably beside me. Of course this would make her uncomfortable. Who wouldn't? Every time we came there was a couple making out here. They were everywhere. The mall was no longer meant for shopping, it was now made for tongue hockey. I shivered as I looked at Bella. _

"_How do they even share saliva like that?" She asked looking back at the couple. I smirked. _

"_I see Em and Rose going at it all the time Bella. It's not that big of a deal. We're fifteen." I reminded her. She looked up at me, her arms over her chest. _

"_No Edward, you're fifteen, I'm still fourteen, and I fail to see how they can even share their tongues like that. It's physically impossible." She said, glancing back at the couple. I shrugged. I could hardly find the age difference as an excuse. She was only a couple months younger than me, and we were in the same grade._

"_Not really." I said. She glared at me. "Bella, it's just a kiss. It's no big deal." _

"_Yes it is. It's public." She argued. _

"_Oh, and your first kiss was in a closet or something?" I asked sarcastically. "Face it Bella, there was probably someone to witness your first kiss." I said, almost sure. She blushed, and looked back down at the floor. I blinked a couple times before I finally understood. _

"_You haven't had your first kiss?" I asked, with disbelief. _

"_Yeah, well I'm not just going to kiss random guys Edward." She snapped before walking away from me. I followed after her. "I'm sure you had the most perfect kiss ever, but I haven't ok?" _

"_Bella…" I said stopping her by grabbing her arm. She turned to face me, anger in her eyes, and her cheeks bright red. "I haven't had my first kiss either." I admitted as I looked down at her. She was so short and petite. _

_She gaped at me, shocked. "You haven't?" She asked. I shook my head with a nervous chuckle at my pathetic confession. "Really?" _

"_Really." I assured. She looked down, her mouth forming an 'O'. _

"_Don't you just want to know what it feels like?" She finally asked after a couple minutes of silence. I nodded. _

"_Of course." I said. "What about you?" _

"_I don't want it to be with just any boy. A first kiss is special…I want it to be with someone that matters……" She said looking down, her cheeks red once again. I put a strand of hair back behind her ear. _

"_But do you want to know what it feels like?" I asked again. She nodded. _

"_Who doesn't?" She asked. I chuckled. An idea suddenly popped in my head. _

"_Alright, promise me something." I said. She nodded. "When you get your first kiss, you have to tell me……and you have to tell me if it was good, or if the loser tried to stick his tongue down your throat so that I could beat him up." I smirked. Bella laughed before she agreed. She put her hand out to mine. _

"_Deal." _

_End Flash Back._

_-:-_

She did come and tell me when she had her first kiss. It was some guy named Mike or something like that. She said he did try to stick his tongue down her throat…and my fist did go into his face. I smiled to myself as another memory quickly filled my mind.

-:-

_Flash Back._

_Edward 17 and Bella 16_

"_Edward!" Bella yelled from behind me. I turned around, stopping my skate board as the rest of my buddies stopped riding too. They all smirked as Bella came running towards me. _

"_Here she comes." Benjamin said. His brown eyes following her every movement as she almost tripped. I chuckled to myself. _

"_No way dude, she hasn't full out tripped yet." Said Vladimir, while picking his skateboard up._

"_For real bro." Stefan agreed as he continued attaching the new rubber wheels to his skateboard. _

"_Damn…she wore a skirt today." Garret muttered. I turned around to glare at him as I held my skateboard up by the truck. You see, it was always funny when Bella wore a skirt, since she wasn't your typical girly girl, so when she did happen to wear one, they would count the moments until she would trip or have some sort of bad luck, like maybe the skirt rising up her thighs, or falling, ripping right off maybe…anything like that was probably usual for her. _

_Bella finally got a few steps closer before collapsing, or should I say, jumping me. She wrapped her arms around my neck, and her legs around my waist. _

_I felt as the air left my lips in a gasp. I felt my stomach tighten for some reason, as my throat became suddenly dry butterflies invading my lower area. I chuckled wrapping my own arms around her waist. _

"_Hello to you too." I chuckled. She dropped her legs from around me in an instant, her arms leaving from my neck, so that her hands could push her denim, mini skirt back down. _

"_Pay up." I heard Garrett as Vladimir, grudgingly gave up twenty bucks. I don't even want to know what they were betting on about. Bella smiled as her cheeks turned that oh so famous pink. Her eyes got suddenly excited. _

"_Edward guess what!" She said her voice full of enthusiasm. _

"_What?" I asked with a chuckle._

"_I didn't pass out when I did my presentation of Romeo and Juliet today!" She said hugging me once more. I laughed and hugged her back, remembering all the practices I had to have with her. _

"_That's great Bells!" I said. She pulled away, her strawberry scent lingering on the tip of my tongue. _

"_Yeah, well I couldn't have done it without you!" She said happily. I smiled. _

"_Well since you owe me…..how about you be a good best friend and ride along with us." I suggested slyly. Bella groaned before finally giving in after I gave her my pout. _

"_Fine, but you better hold me." She warned pointing her finger at my nose. I smiled, and agreed as she stepped up on the skateboard. I looked down at her shoes….converse. Leave it to Bella to wear a nice outfit with beat up converse….it fitted her though. _

_I smiled as I put my hands on her waist, and she placed her hands on my shoulder. She reached up to my chin now that she was on the board, and I was on the ground. She looked up at me, and I looked back at her encouragingly, as I started to push her. She looked down at her feet worriedly as I kept on pushing her. _

"_Hey she's actually doing it." Benjamin said. _

"_Come on guys." Stefan said as they all suddenly started riding. I could see them getting closer to us, and Bella sunk her fingers into my shoulder. _

"_I don't like this…" She said. I laughed. _

"_You'll be fine." I promised. _

"_Yeah right…Watch me go and fa-" It was too late though, Garrett had gotten too close and Bella had jumped right off the skateboard falling forward right on me, to which I fell on the ground. _

"_Oh my god Bella I am so sorry!" Garrett said as he hurried over to us. "Aw man! Are you guys ok?" He asked. I looked up to see Bella laughing as she moved off of me to land on her back, right next to me. She was laughing so hard that she was actually snorting. It was so funny and adorable to watch. _

"_I'm sorry." She gasped between laughs. "It's just the luck that I have." _

_I couldn't help but laugh along with her. And just like that we spent the rest of the day laughing and arguing about 'Wuthering Heights' and 'Romeo and Juliet'_

_End Flash Back. _

_-:-_

Those were fun times, and now that I think of all of this, and how we used to be, I regret letting her leave today even more. I could have stopped her from leaving. I could have done _something_.

Either way, there was no turning back now, and as I thought about it, Bella made the happiest days of my life. Even after all the shit that we went through she was able to make me the happiest man ever when she came back three weeks ago.

I wanted her to try and clear her head by now. I wanted her to do what she had to do. I wanted her to be happy for once. I have been selfish. She has made everything so much better for me, and I just hurt her in return.

Now it's her time. She could do whatever she wants as long as she's happy. I wouldn't give up though, not unless it's hurting her….but for now, she just has to be happy.

I quickly grabbed my phone searching for her number and clicking on text, my fingers working over the words like magic as I typed a message to her.

**Be happy...you **_**could**_** be happy. **

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**Well, there you have it. I hope you enjoyed it, and maybe it wasn't as depressing as the last ones have been. I'll try to make it happy as soon as possible, but let's face it….it's not a happy moment right now. Lol. **

**Like usual, read the lyrics it's PART OF THE STORY!**

**You could be happy by Snow Patrol lyrics:**

_You could be happy and I won't know  
But you weren't happy the day I watched you go_

_And all the things that I wished I had not said  
Are played in loops 'till it's madness in my head_

_Is it too late to remind you how we were  
But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur_

_Most of what I remember makes me sure  
I should have stopped you from walking out the door_

_You could be happy, I hope you are  
You made me happier than I'd been by far_

_Somehow everything I own smells of you  
And for the tiniest moment it's all not true_

_Do the things that you always wanted to  
Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do_

_More than anything I want to see you, girl  
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world_


	15. Fix you

**Thank you all so much for reviewing and for reading my story…that means a lot to me, so really, thank you. I love all of your reviews…even those of you who get hysterical on me….lol. Ok well enjoy. :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. **

**Fix you by Coldplay.

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**Fix you. (Because you knew I was going to use it at some point.)**

_"If you just realize what I've just realized,  
Then we'd be perfect for each other  
And we'll never find another  
Just realized what I just realized  
We'd never have to wonder if  
We missed out on each other now"_

I did another turn, my truck moving smoothly past the other cars while the radio played yet another sappy love song. I sighed. Love, the complicated word of which I took four whole months just trying to figure it out. It's December, and I still don't know the exact definition for the word. I even supplied myself with various dictionaries. I blanked out. I had completely lost my senses, going crazy, and turning to the only option left. The only option left for me, which was to use the mindless book of formal written text, which just made us more confused than we already were. Four whole months of doing nothing but waking up, same old morning routine, go to work, then go meet with Angela, my coworker and partner for the breakfast diner we want to open up. Then I come back home, eat and sleep, just to wake up and do it all over again.

It was a process that was indeed just bothering me to no end. I missed Alice, Jasper, my big bear Emmett, Rosalie, Esme, Carlisle...Edward.

Edward.

What can I say? My heart flutters at his name, and I have no idea why. I have even gone to the point of slapping my chest, trying to get it to stop pounding so hard. When I left, I kissed Edward. I couldn't help it. I'm guilty. I just had to say a proper goodbye, and for some reason it felt like that was the perfect goodbye. Like I said, I don't know what the word 'love' means yet, therefore I do not even know where to place Edward right now.

A part of me knows exactly where he belongs, while another part is just too confused and scarred since the...baby...

I know I should get over it, but how does someone recover from that? I am a lot better now, but lets be honest here...I will never be fully healed.

Though, right now at the moment, Edward is just my best friend. I figured this out, because a month after I left, Derek and I decided that the wedding would continue. I could have sworn I was in love with Edward, and at this moment, I think I am, but things are too complicated, and the wedding is on...there's no turning back. It's done. Edward will always be my first and true love, but right now, I still--like previously mentioned--have no clue what love is in exact. So, with all these problems I have now, I rather just keep things how they are, and stay with Derek.

Though a part of me--large part for that matter--is telling me, no, BEGGING me, to run back with Edward. It's telling me that Edward will get hurt. And it's true. To be honest, I know that life with Edward is the best way to go. I would get Derek as a friend no matter what, and he will always be there, and Edward will be there. So will the rest of the family. We would be together. Life with Derek would mean life without Edward and I'm already hurting just thinking about it.

Derek has been acting strange too. It's not the same lovey, dovey feel we used to have. It's awkward. We barely talk...and when we do, it sounds...forced. Like if we're being forced to talk to each other. It's been getting on my nerves lately. This whole thing is just getting on my nerves.

The point is, I'm staying with Derek, getting married, and that's it. I'm not going to hurt anyone else. Derek and I will just have to talk.

I finally made it in front of our apartment building, parking my car and grabbing my purse. I made it up the few steps, and into the lobby, then up the elevator. When I got finally got upstairs, I took a deep breath before opening the door.

"Bella?" Derek called. I put my purse down on the counter.

"Right here." I called back. I walked forward to the kitchen, where I opened the fridge and grabbed a water bottle.

"Hey. How was your day at work today?" He asked. I wanted to roll my eyes. This is the same conversation we always have.

"Fine. I think Angela and I are going to launch the diner soon, so I think I'll quit working at Bailey's." I announced. He merely nodded as he grabbed himself an apple. I let out a frustrated breath. "I also think I'm going to become bisexual and marry a fire breathing bearded lady." I said sarcastically. Derek just nodded. I felt the anger bubble up inside me. He just nodded! He wasn't even listening. "You're incredible you know that?" I threw the water bottle at his head before walking out to the living room.

"What?" He asked as he followed me. I turned to face him. This was it, the tantrum we both knew I would eventually have.

"Derek all we do is say hi, eat, sleep, and go to work. I want more than that Derek! I need more than that! I can't just exchange two words with you and then that's it!" I yelled, my face hot and big fat tears forming.

"Bella what else do you want?! You have all of me! You don't do anything! What do you do when you watch the one you love die?! There is nothing to do Bella. You don't want anything from _me_! You want it from _him_! What do you want me to do?! Put a wig on or something and pretend to be Edward?!" I flinched at his name. "I can't do anything! You think it's not killing me either?!" He was exasperated, his chest heaving up and down, and his eyes wide. He finally looked down, leaning against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest, as he sighed. "Bella…I can't fill in his shoes." He said quietly.

I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say. What do you say? What do you say to your fiancé when he thinks you're in love with your best friend?

No. I wasn't in love with Edward. I already promised myself that I wouldn't make things more complicated. Edward would always be my first love….but I was in 'love' with Derek. I shook my head. I knew for a fact that I was in 'love' with Derek, and that's all I needed. Well…from the very little that I knew of the word 'love'.

A sob escaped my lips as I finally looked down. I flopped myself on the couch.

"You don't need to fill his shoes in." I insisted. He just shook his head. I wanted to convince him. I wanted him to see that he was the one for me. I would prove it.

"Bella, everything just went downhill." He said. I sobbed again.

"Then let's fix it!" I shouted, making him flinch. "Why are we fighting?!"

Derek sighed, moving towards me carefully, like if he was ready for me to break. He finally took the seat next to me, placing his hands in mine.

"Bella, you need to be healed." He said carefully. I sobbed once more, lacing my fingers through his.

"I don't know how." I admitted. I admitted it because it was true. I didn't know how to fill the empty hole in my chest. It was deep, and hollow. It hurt.

"Bella…there's only one person who can fix it…and that's not me." Derek said with a sad smile. He lifted my chin up with his finger, wiping the tears away from my eyes. He looked sad, but kept the small smile of encouragement on his lips.

"Derek….I want to stay with you." I said sternly. He sighed.

"You don't know what you've got till you lost it Bella." He told me. I snorted.

"Exactly. I'm not going to risk it Derek. I'm not going to lose you." I said more strongly. He shook his head, with a little smile on his lips…almost dark humor.

"No…I'm not talking about me." He said. I looked at him confused. What is he talking about then? "I'm talking about Edward. Once you lose him for real…you're going to regret it."

"Would you stop it with that?!" I yelled hysterically. "I don't need this right now Derek! I have made my decision. Now either you start changing, or it's over. I don't know about you, but I'm going to be at that alter, I'll be the one in white if you're looking for me!" With that I ripped my hands from his, and walked away to my bedroom.

I didn't know what the hell was getting into him. Did he not love me? Could he not let the past be the past? Did he have to bring all those things back up? Why couldn't he just be grateful that I picked him, and accept it? Why wasn't he fighting back?!

I buried my head further into the soft pillows. This was just all so stupid!

"Bella?" I heard Derek's voice as he opened my door. "Bella please." He begged. I felt the bed shift under me as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

"No." I said into the pillow.

"Bella please." Derek pleaded again, nudging my foot. I shook my head. He sighed. "Listen, I want to marry you. I love you. I want you. But…." He trailed off. I finally lifted my teary face to look at his.

"But what?!" I asked. "What Derek?!" He took a deep breath.

"Bella…look as long as you want me….then I'll stay." He said. I looked at him speculating. I didn't know what to believe. Could he really just change back to normal? I decided to at least give it a try. So with that, I smiled, and jumped landing in his arms as I placed a wet kiss on his lips. He chuckled, kissing my salty, wet cheeks as well.

_When you try your best, but you don't succeed._

_When you get what you want, but not what you need. _

_When you feel so tired but you can't sleep._

_Stuck in reverse, _

_And the tears come streaming down your face,_

_When you lose something you can't replace._

_When you love someone but it goes to waste._

_Could it be worse?_

How convenient. I need to change that ring tone. I reached over, sniffling as I grabbed my cell phone from the bedside table.

_**Bella, it's been four months. **_

_**-Alice.**_

What a coincidence.

I sighed looking up to meet Derek's gaze. I knew in my heart that I wanted to see them, but could I really hurt Edward like that, and just…..invite him to my wedding?

I remember the time I went to his wedding. The pain that day was unbearable. How could he handle it? I barely could myself. I felt guilty for inflicting such pain on him….but I couldn't change my decision. It was done and over with. I hadn't seen Alice in the longest time though. I knew they needed to come to the wedding….but would Edward be able to take it? Could I do that to him? Most importantly could I handle it?

I didn't give it a second thought. I quickly grabbed my cell phone.

_**Alice, I missed you so much. It hasn't been the same….I want to send you something…**_

_**-Bella.**_

I took a deep breath as I looked up to meet Derek's gaze. He smiled slightly as he patted my thigh. I needed to send out those invitations.

"Are you sure you want to do this Bella?" He asked one more time. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes.

The images came running past my eye lids.

_Edward's crooked smile, his green piercing eyes……His messy hair……the joy in his eyes, and two missing front teeth, the boyish face just a mess of sweat from playing outside. _

"_Bella, can you be my valentine?" My heart skipping…my palms sweating, and my arms wrapping around him. _

"_Yes!" _

_Then the scenery was changing, Edward grinning as he rode his bike, teeth fully grown, a lot older, and his hand leaving the handlebars. _

"_Look Bella!" His voice higher pitched. "I can ride a bike with no hands!" He cheered. Then his face turned to horror as he fell forward. My body running towards him. _

"_Edward you idiot!" I yelled, as I grabbed onto him, caressing his new cut, and fresh bruise. _

"_I'm your idiot………"_

_His voice became an echo as the scenery changed again, but this time to a much older Edward, more gorgeous than possible, and a velvet deeper voice. _

"_I think college is going to be fun…" His voice made my toes curl._

"_Why?" My heart was beating. _

"_Because you're here with me……" _

_All the images of us together started to run through my mind, until they became the ones with Derek, and the newly happy moments. _

I snapped my eyes open. Derek was looking at me carefully. I finally answered his question.

"I'm positive."

_But when I look at the stars,  
when I look at the stars,  
when I look at the stars I see someone else_

_When I look at the stars,  
the stars, I feel like myself_

My phone rang again in my palm. When I read the text message, I knew there was no turning back. This was the sign I needed.

_**Send it.**_

_**-Alice.

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**_

**Well, I hope you all enjoyed it…..I know it took me forever to update. Sorry about that. It's not the end. So chill people. Please. Lol. Tell me what you thought. If you have any questions, that's cool too. Alright. Bye! **

**Love, Retro. **


	16. Congratulations and many more

**Alright, so lots of explaining to do. **

**First off, I want to apologize for taking so long. I had a big problem and writers block because the ending just wasn't the way I wanted it to be, so I had to mix up a whole bunch of chapters to make the perfect chapter so yeah. SO SORRY! **

**Secondly, this chapter is actually like, four or five other chapters mashed together to make one. I had to do it, because the story was starting to really bug me, and I needed a way to kind of conclude to it's ending with out drowning on about depression. I mean...come on? **

**Thank you all for reviewing, and for offering to translate, for being such big fans, for posting this up on websites like Myspace, and just for everything, really. You guys are really important to me, and if you're not too creeped out by me yet, then I'd love to be your friend. Really. **

**Alright, there's a song every once or a while. So yeah. 'Congratulations by Blue October' is mostly when it's back to the present. When it's italicized it's in a memory. I hope I don't confuse you all. lol. **

**There are two more chapters left for Congratulations. I'm sorry guys! **

**Ok, I hope you enjoy, I know it's like SUPER long, but I think you guys deserve it for waiting so long. I hope I get lots of reviews because like I said, it's like five chapters in one. lol. Alright, enjoy. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

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**_E.P.O.V Mr. Brightside by the Killers._**

_"Come on!" __Alice__ urged as she pulled us all forward. I wasn't excited about this. Let's just say the last three or four months haven't been the best of my life. I really thought she was going to call...I thought she had enough time...well turns out when I get any sign from her, it's actually an invitation to a wedding. Figures. Her wedding. She was still going through with it. Why was she going through with it?_

_I wanted to just dig a hole and bury myself in it. To say I was upset was an understatement. I thought she was just going home to escape the madness, and then coming back. I didn't think that she would actually stay there, and with Derek. I thought she made it clear that she loved me. _

_Of course part of me was pissed, while another part of me just loved her too much. I felt like I was going to explode. _

_"Edward, move forward." __Alice__ yelled as she grabbed my hand. I pulled back, yanking it out of her reach, as I sent her a glare. She sighed and turned to Jasper, who was just shaking his head. _

_I hadn't been the nicest person these past few months. That's for sure. I threw a glare to everyone my eyes would lay on, and then I turned on my heel, walking towards the cab. _

_"Edward, where are you going?" __Alice__ asked, her eyes wide along with everyone else. My mom just shook her head, looking at her hands. _

_"Away." I said in a rough voice. "Don't expect me back soon." I said. _

_"What about Bella?" __Alice__ spat. The name brought a whole new cut to my heart, making me stop in my tracks. I turned slowly, a cold stare on my face as I looked at __Alice__. She flinched a bit when she met my gaze, but held her ground down. _

_"I'll meet you there later." I said through gritted teeth, and with that I continued my walk to the cab. _

_We had been in __California__ for about an hour, and I was already treating my family like shit. I felt horrible about it, but at the moment I just set my glare out the tainted window as the cab driver turned in his seat to look at me. _

_"Where to?" He asked. I turned my head just a fraction to look at him. _

_"You know any good bars?" I asked. The man's grin widened. _

_"Girlfriend?" He guessed raising an eyebrow. I gave a dry, dark laugh. _

_"Something like that." I said. He gave me a knowing smile. _

_"Either the bitch left you, or she's a cheating whore." He said. I shook my head. He didn't' know the half of it. "So what you're just going to get wasted?" He asked. I shrugged, getting a bit irritated with the man. _

_"Maybe." I said flatly. _

_"Trust me kid, it ain't worth it." He said turning back to face forward. _

_"How would you know?" I asked, my voice hard. He shook his head, his wrinkly eyes looking at me from the review mirror. _

_"Just take a walk and calm down, trust me when I say it's not worth the alcohol. Or at least be a man and face her already." He said. I felt my jaw clench. This man had no idea what he was talking about. _

_"Ok, sir, let me tell you something." I said, my voice leaking with venom. All the 'cool' or 'self control' I had kept in for months was starting to leak. "The love of my life, my best friend in the world, ever, fell in love with me, and told me the day I announced my proposal to another woman. She left me, never to see her again from her heartbreak, leaving me with guilt, and the last words we exchanged were horrible on my part. I told her I hated her!" I shouted hysterically. " She comes back three years later, engaged and pregnant, and in one week she managed to get me jealous without even trying or know she was doing it. I didn't know I loved her, my WIFE was the one to convince me, and open my eyes. My WIFE for god's sake! I tell my best friend/lover exactly how much I love her, I kiss her, we fight, she runs away and crashes losing her baby and almost her life. She leaves again but not before telling me how much she loves me, and three months later I get her wedding invitation after she said she 'loved' me!" I was breathing heavy by the end, and the man just had his eyes wide. _

_"How do you feel?" He asked calmly. I felt more fire burn my veins. How do I feel?! Did he want me to choke him?! How do I feel?!! Actually….I felt pretty good. I took a deep breath calming myself. _

_"Better." I admitted. He smiled slightly. _

_"I had a feeling." He said. I shook my head. _

_"Sorry for holding you up, I don't need the ride anymore." I said still breathless, as I opened the door from the cab and walked out. _

_He was right. It was time to face her. _

_-:-_

_"Coming." I could hear her voice from the other side of the door. I felt my heart rate speed up, and my palms become sweaty, my knees shaking. This was it. _

_I could hear the sound of conversation in the background, and then the clicking of the door as it opened. I felt my eyes go wide. It was her. It was really her. She was standing right in front of me, more beautiful then my memories. _

_I felt myself gulp as I looked at her hard. There was a burning in my heart as I took in her small smile, and wide eyes. In a way I wanted to hate that face. I really did. But again, I couldn't. Because I loved it too much. I wanted so badly to just reach my arms out and grab her. I really did, and the burning in my finger tips was just getting worse. I wanted so bad to reach out and hug her. I wanted to kiss her, to kiss every part of her. _

_Her luscious hair, her big brown eyes, her lips, her chin, her cheeks, her everything. I wanted to so badly. But I didn't. I just gave her a small, quick smile, and a little nod. Her smile turned to a frown before she sighed, moving to the side, and gesturing for me to come forward. _

_"Bella." I said flatly, not looking her way. She frowned again, biting her lip. _

_"Edward." She breathed out. I felt my muscles tense. How long had I been dreaming of her saying my name like that? I shook my head before walking forward to the living room, where my family sat, and….Derek. I nodded at them before sitting next to __Alice__. _

_To be completely honest, I knew I was acting wrong. I thought that I was coming up here to face Bella not treat her worse. But, I just couldn't. I couldn't do it. It was too much. _

_I didn't even look at her as she went to sit on the other side of the living room, away from everyone….including Derek. She brought her knees up to her chin and looked at us. I stayed quiet, not wanting any part of this. _

_I was jealous. I was extremely green, and mad, and lustful, and all the seven sins. _

_I was lustful for Bella, I mean…just looking at her, and it had been so long. I wanted her so badly. _

_I was envious of Derek. He got everything he wanted, he won. He had her, and tonight it would be him to hold her to sleep._

_I was full of wrath because I hated the fact that she picked him, the fact that I was here, the fact that my family was ok with it, and the fact that this was even an issue, and the fact that I fell in love with her in the first place. I was angry that I was alive._

_I was greedy because I wanted Bella all to myself. I didn't want anyone touching her like Derek. I didn't want anyone giving her a friendly hug like Jasper, or Emmett, and I didn't want her to make conversation with anyone else but me. Because I had missed her too much. _

_I felt the need to protect my pride, and not bending down on my knees and beg her to come to me. That was a reason for me being so rude to her. My pride. I would not let her see me weak. I didn't want anyone to see me weak. _

_Sloth…that was just self explanatory. I was depressed, and slow, and I didn't do shit at home. I haven't touched the piano for months. Period. _

_Gluttony, was because at the moment I just wanted to eat Derek's head off, and in reality I had been eating chocolate every night like girls supposedly do when they have a heart ache. It doesn't work. _

_"So Edward," Bella started finally looking up at me. I didn't look back because I knew it would be way too much for me to handle. _

_"Hm?" I didn't feel like talking. _

_"Um…how's everything?..." She asked uncomfortably. I shrugged. I couldn't be in this room for any longer with her near me. _

_"Well…erm…." She stuttered. I sighed finally looking up to meet her eyes. _

_She had changed. Everything had changed. And I was sick of it. I didn't want it to be like this. I was sick of it. She had changed completely, and I could tell that my family knew as well. This was not Bella. This was a mess. It all was. We were just a group of messed up people._

_And I was only making it worse. So I sighed, trying to smile, and trying to get over myself. _

_"When's the wedding?" I asked as smoothly as I possibly could. I heard everyone's breath hitch as they watched me carefully. Bella gulped, looking at me skeptically before answering. _

_"Four days." She said. I felt my eyes go a bit wide. Four days. I didn't stand a chance. _

_"Wow…." I managed to say. Bella nodded. _

_"I know." She whispered. _

_Her face looked down, and off…….and deep within the mask I could see the true Bella….my true best friend._

_-:-  
_

**E.P.O.V Congratulations by Blue October**

"Oh my, she's gorgeous." I was brought out of my memories by a group of women, as everyone turned their stares to the back of the church, where Bella had just entered.

She was a vision in white, and I could feel my throat go dry along with my lips. I turned to look at a very distressed looking Derek. His brows were furrowed, and he didn't even look up to see Bella, who was a wearing a half smile, that didn't even reach her eyes. We all knew this was a mistake. Everyone in this church here today knew what a big mistake this was.

That memory I had just been visiting was the first time I saw Bella again, and it was painful. I took a deep breath as I felt my heart clench in despair as she walked slowly to the beat. I could see Alice standing in her spot as the maid of honor along with Rosalie as a bridesmaid. They both knew. You could see it in their faces. I sighed, not wanting to watch this heartbreaking moment as I let my mind drift off and away from the beautiful woman in white standing before me. I drifted off to another memory.

-:-

**E.P.O.V Broken by Secondhand serenade. **

_"So, it's um…been a while…" Bella smiled. I smiled back, finally being myself. _

_I have to say after a couple days with her I was able to recover a bit, plus the fact that this might be my last chance with her, so I sucked it all up and put it all behind me. There was no way for me to be mad at her either way. She looked down at my lips for a moment before looking back at my eyes blushing. I chuckled, a weird sound to my ears. Bella sighed. _

_"Yeah. I know." I finally said. _

_With Alice and Rosalie here it was a miracle we had a chance to get away. The wedding was officially tomorrow. I couldn't believe it. I wanted to say so much, and I wanted to take this as an opportunity. _

_"I haven't been able to laugh for a long time." I found myself saying. Bella frowned, looking away. _

_"I know what you mean." She whispered_. _I pursed my lips before sighing. _

_"Why are you doing it Bella?" I asked. Her head snapped up, her eyes meeting mine. _

_"What do you mean?" She asked, clearly confused. I put my hands in my pockets as we continued to walk through the park, the sun on a perfect and bright angle, making her look like a goddess, with her flowing long hair, and bright yellow dress, and those beautiful lips, and face that just seemed to glow._

_"Bella, why are you getting married?" I asked. She sighed, closing her eyes. _

_"Edward, you don't understand." She shook her head. _

_"If you told me I would." I argued. "I want to know why you said you loved me when in reality you didn't." I wanted to know if we could fix it. _

_"Edward, I never lied to you." She said in a small voice._

_" Through my eyes that's exactly what you did." I spat back. Bella looked away, and I immediately regretted ever saying that. "I'm sorry." I whispered, not sure on what else to do. Bella shrugged, looking back at me. _

_"It's ok…." She whispered back. "You're right." _

_"Bella, do you even really love Derek?" I asked. She took a deep breath, looking away from me once again. I took that as a sign to continue, since I knew she wouldn't reply back. "Bella, I don't understand why you're doing this if you don't even love him. It doesn't make sense to me. You're hurting all of us Bella. It's not just about me, it's everyone." I sighed. _

_Bella looked up at me, her eyes pained. "Edward, I……I don't know ok?" She sighed. "Everything was perfect until I came back to Forks." She said as she took a seat on a nearby bench. I followed sitting by her. _

_"Bella, either way, it happened. So why are you taking it this far?" I asked, my heart thudding. Bella looked up at me with confused eyes. _

_"What are you saying?" She asked. I knew it was stupid, I knew it was useless, but I just couldn't help it. I was so desperate. I didn't care. My pride went straight out the window at this moment. _

_"I'm asking for time Bella." I finally said. Her eyes went wide as she examined me, looking for something. I guess she didn't find it because she sighed and looked back down. She must have been searching for humor…seeing if I was joking. _

_"Edward, it's tomorrow…." She started. I cut her off. _

_"Bella we can fix this, you know we're meant to be so why don't you just accept it already?" I asked. I knew I was being straight forward, but she didn't look surprised, because I'm guessing she knew as well. _

_"Edward, it just doesn't work out that way." She shook her head. I sighed defeated, and did the only thing that was left to do. I got off the bench and kneeled down in front of her, grabbing her hands. She looked in my eyes. _

_"Bella I still love you."_

_-:-  
_

**E.P.O.V Congratulations by Blue October**

"Now repeat after me, 'I, Isabella Marie, take you, Derek Tyson, to be my husband'," I was brought out of my thoughts when I heard the priest start to speak. I looked at Bella, my heart shattering as I felt the need to sob, and scream. My nails digging into my skin, as I watched Bella.

She opened and closed her mouth, her eyes roaming around to look at everyone, and then at Derek, who had a small, sad smile on his lips, but didn't reach his eyes. Bella turned to look at Rose and Alice, as everyone seemed to be on the edge of their seats. She looked at me, and my heart beat frantically. Is she going to skip out on the wedding? Is she going to say no? She smiled, a real smile, before shaking her head and turning back to Derek. She looked at the priest before opening her mouth.

"I, Isabella Marie, take you, Derek Tyson, to be my husband." Bella repeated. I felt my heart shatter, as there were many sighs in the audience. Some were relieves, and others were frustrated, or more like, "Ugh!" Like if they were anticipating the same exact thing I was. I stood there as the 'Best man', and tried my best to not cry like the pussy I wanted to be.

"Now, say, 'And I promise before God and these witnesses to be your loving and faithful wife," I couldn't listen to the priest after that. I shut my mind off, wandering back again.

-:-

**E.P.O.V What if we could? By Blue October**

_Bella blinked a couple times, and I could tell she wasn't breathing. I felt panic cover me. _

_"Bella?" I asked frantically. "Bella, I'm sorry." I said shaking her. She shook her head before taking a deep breath. _

_"You still love me?" She asked. I sighed in relief that she was still alive. _

_"Bella, you knew that already." I reminded her. I mean it was pretty obvious. _

_"It's different from hearing it." She said softly. We sat there quiet for a couple moments. It was intense. I didn't know what was going to happen, or if she was really actually going to change her mind. _

_"Bella," I started. "Do you think you can really give me time?" I asked. She tensed, her muscles coiling. _

_"Edward, I don't think……that's……possible." She said shifting uncomfortably. I sighed. I knew it was too good to be true. I wanted to let the tears just escape me, but I wouldn't let them. I was a man not a sissy. I shook my head. _

_"It's ok." I said. "I kind of knew that was coming……worth the shot though." I joked weakly. She gave a small chuckle, music to my ears. _

_"Edward, why do you love me?" She asked suddenly. I felt my breath hitch. Why was she asking me this? Either way, the look in her eyes was enough to convince me to tell her. _

_"Bella, you're smart, you're witty, you're beautiful, you're stubborn, you're kind, you're pure, and you're my best friend. I'm in love with you because you're Isabella Marie Swan. I love you because I can." I stated firmly. _

_I watched the different emotions shift through her deep brown eyes as she stared me down. Finally I saw the crystal tear trickle down her cheek. _

_"Why are you crying?" I asked finally cradling her in my arms. _

_"Edward, this isn't right." She sobbed. I shook my head. _

_"Loving someone isn't supposed to be right or wrong." I whispered, kissing her forehead. I felt safe in her arms more than she probably felt comforted. It's like I was using this for me, not for her. It was selfish but true. I need to wrap my arms around her at one point. _

_Suddenly an idea popped into my head. _

_"Bella?" I asked. She popped her head from my chest to look at me. "Promise me something?" I asked. She smiled_.

_"What?" She asked. _

_"If you change your mind……will you look for me?" I asked. She grinned, her eyes softening._

_"Sure, but where?" She sniffled. I thought real hard. _

_"How about that ice cream shop you love so much?" I asked. _

_"The one right down Derek's place?" She asked. My veins grew with envy as she mentioned his name, but I let it slide. Right now I was just trying to joke around, lighten the mood. I could deal with my jealousy later. _

_"Yes." I answered. Bella laughed, the sound so beautiful it made my heart warm. _

_"The Ice cream shop it is." She promised. _

_"The ice cream shop."_

_-:-_

_I looked away from the clouds, turning my head to see Bella, playing with a piece of grasses. _

_"Bella, I'm letting you go……" I said. She looked at me, turning from her back to laying on her elbow. _

_"What do you mean?" She asked. _

_"I mean that I'll let you go, but on a leash." I joked. She laughed, but looked at me curiously. I sighed, looking back at the sky. "Bella, I'm going to let you go, as if in I won't bother you, but I will always be there." I explained. She sighed. _

_"I'll always want you to be there." She whispered back. I smiled to myself. As we went back to a comfortable silence. _

_"What would have happened if we would have gotten together back then?" I asked suddenly. Bella looked at me again. "I mean, what if we could just run away, and be together forever? What if we could just escape all of this?" I asked. I was really trying to see into the future as I sat with the beautiful woman next to me. _

_The love I felt for her was just indescribable, but I could exactly just keep her with me. I had to let her be. And that sucked. It sucked big time. I didn't want to ruin the moment though, so I enjoyed it as much as I could for now. _

_"We'll never know." Bella whispered._

_-:-  
_

**E.P.O.V Your call by Secondhand Serenade**

"I….erm…" I was snapped out once again when I heard Derek start to stutter. He was looking down at the floor, his brows furrowed together, as he stuttered. I looked at him confused just like everyone else. Even the beauty that was Bella looked at him completely shocked. I took this moment to really admire her.

She was glowing with the contrast of the pale white of her dress. It was strapless, tight on the waist making her curves more pronounced, and it was long, and puffed out like Cinderella in a way, but with a tail in the back, ruffled. The dress was so simple, so gorgeous. Then Bella had her hair in curls, cascading down her back, and on her neck and shoulders, making her skin and dress even more glowing. Then her lips were perfectly plumped and looked gorgeous with the amount of pink lip gloss.

Her eyes were big, round, and the brown looking a bit honey in a way, as it looked like pools of chocolate. Her lashes were thick as usual, maybe even more thick and longer if it was possible, and the light make up she wore just made them pop out even more. The blush on her cheeks was permanent, probably caused by the attention she was getting. And she looked petit and fragile as usual.

Her eyes closed as she dropped her hands from Derek. They suddenly fell to her side, and she looked away, her face towards the priest. She shook her head before taking a deep breath and looking back at Derek. He looked up at her too, his eyes full of apology, for what, I didn't know.

I saw Derek open his mouth as he was finally about to speak. I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to know how much he loved her. I needed to get out of here. I couldn't go through with it. Just looking at Bella made it painful enough, but hearing what he was about to say, made it even worse. I didn't need to know why his eyes were apologetic. I was leaving. Suddenly I remembered something important. I cleared my throat and everyone turned to me.

"Sir," I said to the priest. Everyone looked at me confused. "You forgot the objections." I said. He furrowed his brow.

"Doesn't that go after?" Alice hissed from the other side. I shot her a glare. I looked at the priest with pleading eyes.

"Alright, um….does….err….anyone object this lovely couple?" The priest said. Then I opened my mouth.

"Yeah. I do." I said. Everyone didn't look surprised, but still a bit shocked that I would actually do it. I took the rings out of my pocket and gave them to Derek. I looked at Bella once more before turning to walk away. I couldn't do it even if I wanted to. I knew it was wrong, but it was my only hope. I knew I shouldn't have done it, but I had to. "I love you Bella, I'm sorry. If you picture your life with him then do it. Do it Bella. Get married. But I'm not staying to watch you." I said. She looked at me with pleading eyes. But I looked away, back to the priest, before I said it, the two words I had been dieing to say.

"I object."

-:-

**A.P.O.V Congratulations by Blue October **

I wasn't surprised to see him go. Not at all. I was a little mad that he actually did it, I mean what a way to ruin a wedding, and I was upset because he's my brother. His pain was my pain. I took a deep breath. Everyone in the church was looking towards the door, and I could see Bella's body shake a bit as she held back her sobs. She knew that this would happen. In reality we all knew.

She looked back at Derek, who was just looking at the door. I didn't know what was up with Derek, but I didn't have a good feeling about it. I looked at him as he sighed, finally meeting Bella's gaze. The priest cleared his throat.

"Um…ok….let's….erm….move on….I guess…" The priest said, shifting from foot to foot. I took a deep breath taking a glance at Rose. She was just as upset as me. I clutched onto my bouquet. "Now Derek…..please repeat the vows…." The priest said. I watched Derek as he looked down again, shaking his head. Bella let a sob escape her body, as she looked away from him again.

Oh no. No Derek…please….I knew where this was going.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. I could hear the benches in the church creak as everyone moved to the edges of their seats. "I can't do this." He said a bit louder. Bella shook her head, a tear trailing down her cheek.

Disaster.

-:-

**B.P.O.V I dare you to move by Switchfoot. **

I sniffled, as I looked down at my hands. I knew that he would back out when he talked to me last night. I just knew it. It was completely inevitable. I looked away, not meeting his gaze. How could he do this to me? I knew Edward would leave to be honest, and for some reason that hurt more than what Derek was doing right now, but at the same time, I couldn't believe this was happening. Was my life worse than 'The Hills' or what?

"Please don't do this." I whispered to him, desperately. "Not now Derek." I begged. His eyes looked pained for a second, and he almost gave in until he shook his head, turning to the crowd.

"I'm sorry everyone." He said. "This isn't right."

"Is he gay?" An old lady called from the crowd. I had to let a chuckle escape me. That was my grandma, 75 years old and cooler than I wish I could be. Derek laughed along with the crowd, but he stopped as soon as he realized the situation.

"No, it's not that." He said. "I'm sorry, but this isn't going to work." He explained. "I can't….I can't marry Bella." He turned to me. "I'm so sorry. You don't deserve this, you really don't. But I don't deserve you. Bella you and I just don't belong together. I'm not going to let you make this mistake. I just…..I don't…..I can't love you like that Bella."

"You can't or you don't?" I spat fiercely, tears prickling down my face. He pursed his lips, looking down for a moment before meeting my gaze again.

"I don't." He whispered. I looked away. "I hope you can forgive me in time Bella, but I'm not going to lie to you. You're not the woman I fell in love with. The woman I fell in love with was lost, needed help, needed to be saved, was recovering….but now, you've found you're place, you don't need me, you don't need recovering. You have a new safe place. Bella you've found your place. I'm not going to stick around when I know we're better off as friends. Thank you for loving me, I will always love you…in one way." He explained. I closed my eyes, letting everything sink in.

"I'm sorry, but don't lose him Bella." He whispered, before I heard his footsteps. I heard the church door open and then close, as everyone started whispering and hissing furiously.

I didn't dare to open my eyes. I could hear my name being called from every direction, and sobs from different people.

I was left at the altar by the two men I loved. My best friend, and my 'fiancé'. I was left alone. Like always.

I deserved it though. I had changed. I had been a bitch. I had made this situation horrible, and now I lost them both. I lost everything, even my son. I lost them. I lost them. I opened my eyes too see other worried eyes, as everyone surrounded me.

I felt like dieing fish gasping for air as they surrounded me. I couldn't take it. I needed to run. I wanted to run. I needed to move. But I couldn't. It was impossible. But I did. I picked up my dress, and ran, pushing everyone out of my way as the sobs escaped my body. _Run Bella, move. Move. Make your move._

And I did. I ran. I ran because I was heartbroken, because I was upset, because I was angry, because I was confused and most importantly because I had nothing left.

I lost.

* * *

**I know what you're thinking. Just please review. I hope it was ok....sorry. :) Can you guys like, really, give me your exact thoughts, or a part you liked? Or is that too much...maybe I'm pushing it...lol. sorry! Thank you though! I love all you guys! You really made this story possible! If it wasn't for you, it would have stayed a one shot and there would be no Edward and Bella or Derek at all. :) So thanks. Review! **


	17. Lots of explaining and a vote

**Alright, well I'm sorry that this is an author's note, but I have to say a couple things and explain, so please READ!.**

**Alright, well first off, I'm so sorry that I'm taking forever to upload, I finally got home, and I can update. I've been actually keeping contact with Fanfiction through my phone. (Yes I have internet.) But even though I have microsoft in my phone, I don't have the chapter I've been working on. I've been talking to some of my friends from here, but that's all I've been able to do since I left. The point is that I've returned, and I have the chapter up in my laptop, I just need to be able to actually read and re-do it. **

**Ok, now this is very important so please read:**

It has come to my attention that a lot of you hate Bella. Please don't. Bella has done no wrong. Some of you say that she deserves being left by Edward and Derek, and that she was a total bitch in **chapter 15, "Fix you".** I don't think Bella deserves that. No one deserves to be left at in the alter. Bella has been through a lot of crap and you guys have witnessed it since the beginning. She's suffered and has been forgiving and understanding, so I think that for once she deserves the chance to be a bitch. No one can go through that much and be nice about it. She has the full right to be a bitch and explode especialy when your **"fiance" aka Derek,** is ignoring you. So don't hate her, she's really done nothing wrong to deserve what happened to her**, (even if I did ruin her life. Muahahaha)** lol, but really, it's just that you guys are saying how much she deserves all this crap, when she doesn't. At all. She was a bitch in one chapter, and she had every right to be**. :)** I know I sound whiny, but I want you guys to understand that, and I'm very grateful that you're even bothering to read my story, or that you even like it. I'm also very grateful that I can get such emotions out of you, but you need to understand that Bella has a right to be a bitch, which she wasn't really even a bitch, I could have made her worst. She just blew up.** She didn't do anything wrong so please chill out. :) Sorry.**

**Another thing is Derek.** Do you guys honestly _**love**_ him? Or do you pity the guy because he is so nice. And be completely honest about that. Think about it. For those of you who read my other story**, 'Love is Gone' (the one with Arleen and Cherry),** if Derek would have been like John**, (before he cheated on Bella)** then would you still _**love**_ him?Be honest. If Derek was like John **(before he cheated)** would you love him? No. You wouldn't want Derek with Bella if Derek was like John**. (Before John cheated lol) **And John wasn't a bad guy at all. He was nice and funny and really hot, but if Derek was the same way, you wouldn't have wanted Bella and Derek together. So I don't think it's love, I think it's pity because Derek is such a great guy and he's practically every girl's dream. Do you get it? Or did I confuse you more? lol. But because Derek is such a great guy, I'm not going to tangle him in this drama anymore. lol. So if you're a Bella/Derek fan, then I'm extremely sorry, but it just won't happen.

In fact I want you guys to do a vote. If I get enough votes then I'll make an alternate ending where it would be Derek and Bella. Ok so if you guys want Derek and Bella together then say it. If you **do not **want Bella and Derek together, than say it.** Say 'I want Derek/Bella' or 'No I don't want Derek/Bella'.** And if you want tell me why. If there's enough votes for **Bella/Derek** than I'll make an** alternate ending.** If you're stuck and don't know which one to pick, then say** 'Switzerland'.** And I really want to know if you guys really think you_**love** _Derek.

**:) **

**Alright with that said, I want you guys to do the voting thing for the alernate ending. And I will be posting the next chapter up soon hopefully. It just takes time because I'm not sure what you guys want, and what I want and what makes sense. So I'm really trying, just give me some time and it will be up. **

**I would love to hear your opinions on Bella, and your vote on the whole Bella, Derek situation, and if you really do love Derek. So I hope you understand my take, and that this explains my reasoning, and why I've been taking so long. Of course I'm not forcing you to like Bella, but I want to try for you to understand. :) **

**Thank you all again, and hopefully you read this because it is pretty important. **


	18. I don't love you, This is home

**Ok, so a few things to say. **

**-You all voted, and it was unanimous. Edward and Bella stay. I have to say that I agree with the decision, because I worked all these chapters up and so much tension and depression for Edward and Bella to end up together. It wouldn't make sense if Derek and Bella just end up a happy couple. No. Because it's supposed to be Edward and Bella happy. So, sorry Derek/Bella lovers. lol. Thank you all for voting and stating your opinions!  
**

**-Now I'm warning you now, this chapter is....I don't want to give anything away, but the ending finally shows some happiness. Yay! Alright, it's rushed a bit, and for that I am SO SORRY, but it's the only way to tie in the story together. Really, I am completely sorry about that. It's a bit rushed, but I tried my best, so I hope you enjoyed. **

**-Everything else will be explained in the bottom when you guys are done reading.

* * *

  
**

**B.P.O.V I don't love you by MCR and Breathe me by Sia. **

_I ran, my feet carrying me through the crowds of people. I knew what they were thinking. "Who's the freak with the wedding dress?" I didn't blame them. I was crying, the tears making my mascara fall down my face, and my four inch heels were long gone. It was no surprise. I could barely walk in them, of course I'd take them off. _

_But at the moment I could care less. All I thought about was Derek's words. That's all I had been thinking about for the past half hour that I was running through the streets. Derek's words repeated in my head, and so did Alice's words. They were all right. Right about the one thing that took me weeks to figure out, the one thing I was in complete denial about, the one thing that gave me hope to save this horrible day. _

_I _was_ in love with Edward Cullen. _

_It took me a while, but when I realized that the only person I wanted to go with after this horrible wedding was Edward, I knew that there was more then friendship between us. And then, when I found myself relieved that the wedding was canceled, I knew for a fact I was in love with him. _

_So I ran as the ice cream shop came into view. I knew he'd be in there. At least I hoped he would be. He told me to go in there and look for him; I knew I had to find him. He told me that he would wait for me there. So I hoped and prayed that he was in there. _

_I caught more glances, as the deadly bride ran towards the ice cream shop's big doors. I opened them taking a deep breath, my heart at my throat. I could barely blink, as my eyes searched the shop. Adrenaline going through my veins. _

_If he wasn't here I didn't know what I would do. If he wasn't here then it meant I really did lose him. _

_Then I saw him. The bronze hair was hard to miss. I felt relief wash over me, a new set of sobs breaking from my chest as he looked up at me. His eyes were full of tears, his lips parted, and his hair messy, that crazy look in his eye. As soon as he saw me, I broke down, as he immediately got up, confused. I ran into him, taking his breath out of him as I crashed against his body. _

_I'm sure all eyes were on us…but I could care less. I sobbed, as Edward soothed me, cooing in my ear. _

"_What happened?" He whispered in my ear. I looked up at him, my eyes going from his vibrant green eyes. _

_It had been such a long time since I had seen those eyes the same way. I always saw them as beautiful eyes, but now that I knew I loved him, the zig zag patterns, and complicated swirls of aqua in the vibrant lime really caught me off guard. His lips had never looked so smooth either. Neither had his perfect straight nose, and muscular chin. _

_Suddenly, as to answer his question, I crashed my lips to his. It was the perfect moment. The perfect kiss. _

_It was _the _kiss. _

_I could practically hear the fire works in the background, as the world seemed to spin around us. It was a perfect kiss, because we _both_ loved each other. It wasn't just him, and it was just me, it was both of us together. _

_A puzzle piece made for each other. _

_I suddenly pulled away, my heart beating, ecstasy taking over me. _

"_I love you." I whispered firmly, and sure of myself. A crooked grin appeared on his features, before he bent his head, kissing my lips one more time. _

Yeah. Like life could be that easy. I wish that's what had happened to me today. But instead, as I ran hopelessly into the ice cream shop, my new realization in mind, my heart was broken for the fourth time in my life, when there was no sign of the green eyed Adonis.

It took everyone around me to take me into their arms. People I didn't even know were crowded around the dieing bride. Because it was no exaggeration. I literally felt like I was dieing. There was no air coming into my lungs, and for once…my heart was hurting too much. It wasn't a cheesy figure of speech. It was for real. I thought for a second I might have been having a heart attack.

The girl behind the counter was the one to come help me first, as everyone stared. Then when they realized I was gasping for air, everyone started surrounding me, calling for help. The girl's blue eyes flickered with panic, as her pink bubble gum was chewed on nervously. She scram out orders as she held me in her arms. This pain was one of the harshest I've ever felt as everything that happened to me these past years crashed down before my eyes.

Had he not loved me? He told me he did, and now he didn't? Why didn't he come? Did he lie? He changed his mind that fast? Couldn't he have at least warned me? Couldn't he have told me? Could he have just said, "Bella, I don't love you?" before he ditched me? I couldn't blame him though.

I screamed in anger, and agony. Anger because I hated him, I hated him, and Derek, and Alice, and myself and everyone in this world. I hated them all. I hated everything. Did God hate me that much? That's fine because I hated him as well. I for once stopped blaming myself and blamed everyone and everything for what was happening to me. I didn't deserve this. I really didn't. It should be this way. I shouldn't have this huge heart break. I should be hurting this bad. I gave another piercing scream, making the girl from behind the counter, hold me tighter, screaming at other people. I cried, the air coming shallower.

I would never ask Edward to come back. He made his choice. He deserved better than me. But when I see him again, he better tell me he doesn't love me, he better tell me that. It's not worth the hurt. And at the same time, I couldn't help but still love him, and that's why it hurt so much.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew I was overreacting, but I was way out of my sanity at the moment. I was too hurt to care.

So as I replayed over and over in my head what I wished would have happened, I couldn't help but close my eyes and forget what truly was happening to me.

* * *

**Take a breather. Just relax, and close your eyes, because we're going to do some major skipping here. I really am sorry that this might be confusing, but it's the only way. :)

* * *

  
**

**E.P.O.V (1 year later) This is home by switchfoot  
**

"Thank you." I smiled slightly, as I paid the cab driver. He smiled back, and with a flick of the wrist, drove off. I took a deep breath before looking around. For a whole year, I did nothing but work and play piano, trying to forget everything, trying to heal. I must say I healed pretty good, but never fully. I would never completely heal.

I never talked to my family after…_her…_wedding. It had been months until I finally gave them a call. I had even talked to Alex. She had moved out of our apartment. It was completely hollow, just like me. She had come to see me, and I collapsed into her arms, crying and yelling, and she just sat there, holding me. But it wasn't how I would have felt with…._her. _Never like her. Alex's arms and words couldn't compare. It helped me to get some of it out though, and with that I had decided to start fresh.

I started hanging out with my family again, just casual visits, as I tried to smile. They played along, and were happy to see an effort in me, but never once mentioned those few months, or that horrible day. It's like it never happened. And her name never popped up when I was around.

It helped me heal better, and I have to say, my heart is almost closed, but there are a few gaps, that will forever remain unsealed. I took another look around. To be honest I wouldn't want to be here. The only reason I came out to California was because I had a meeting here. I had just made it out of the meeting an hour ago, and at the moment I was just walking around.

The painful memories slapping me in the face. What if I saw them here now? What if they were happily together and married? I can just imagine the new Derek Jr. I shivered.

I looked around from side to side, walking up the street, letting my shirt loose and free, untucked, and my tie completely off. I felt refreshed. I smiled to myself as I continued in soft steps through the streets, the sounds of the beach soothing me. A couple women glanced at me, and I smile back at them.

Seriously, I hadn't had a date for a whole entire year. It was pretty hysterical. Alex and I had dates all the time. The new change was something I had learned to ignore, especially in the condition I was in, and kind of still are.

As I dug my hands in my pockets, I came down a familiar street…a street that held the place of my hope. The first place that popped into my mind when I heard the word 'California'. The place that could have made me or broken me that day. The place I had been too much of a coward to go into, and the place I wondered aimlessly about.

The Ice Cream shop.

I had wondered if she ever really went there, but in reality, I'm sure she didn't. She was married. Why would she go? I sighed to myself, contemplating on whether I should go in or not?

In reality I knew that I had to go in. If I didn't, I would forever hate myself further. I had to go in. I _would_ go in. So with a deep breath, another glance towards the street, and my hands in my pocket I sauntered towards the ice cream shop.

I didn't know what I was expecting when I went in. Maybe some part of me hoped for her to be in here. I actually prayed for her to be in here. I wanted to see her once again, but I knew that probably wouldn't actually happen. So as I opened the door, the rush of air hitting my face, my eyes looking around, my body walking forward, and my fists clenching a bit, the disappointment didn't exactly hit me as hard. She wasn't here.

I knew she wouldn't be, but some part deep within me hoped. I sighed before turning towards the counter. The girl behind it just stared at me. She was chewing on her gum, her blue eyes watching my every movement, and her nails clacking on the counter. Her mouth was slightly open, as something inside of her seemed to flicker, and her eyes went wide. I stared at her confused. She obviously wasn't checking me out, but there was something in her eyes as she stared at me. She suddenly blinked before turning around to walk into the back employee's room.

I stared confused at her retreating back. Did I do something wrong? I shrugged before making my way over to a new woman who seemed to be behind the counter. The lady smiled apologetically to me.

"Hi, can I help you with something?" She asked. Her green eyes watching me, with something hidden in them. I shook my head.

"Um….can I have one chocolate ice cream cone?" I asked. She nodded with a sweet smile before turning. I sighed and walked away, waiting for her to finish. I looked around at the tables. They were either empty, or occupied by kids with their parents. I sighed once more.

"You get your ass over here NOW!" I heard from the back. I looked up at the lady in the counter questioningly. She gave me a, 'What can I do about it?' look, and shrugged softly, before excusing herself. I heard hissed words between one another before the lady finally came back towards me. I smiled, giving her a five dollar bill as she gave me my ice cream. I smiled, and took a bite, the cold ice cream feeling good in my throat.

I was going to go walking around, but I decided to just sit and finish eating it. I took small little bites, taking my sweet time eating the ice cream. It tasted very good, very creamy. I smiled. I felt like a child as I ate it.

About fifteen minutes had passed when I was finally done with my ice cream. I got up, to throw away the napkin, as I heard the front door to the shop open, little tingly bells, echoing through the air.

"What is it now Katie?" I froze. It was…..the voice…it……I….

I didn't know what to do. I stayed frozen as my heart beat started to accelerate. What do I do? I wanted to freak out, and turn around to see if that voice belonged to the face I was searching. But I couldn't. I couldn't move. Instead I stayed frozen, my breath stuck in my throat, heart beating way too fast, and my muscles too tense.

"What?" I heard the voice again. There were sounds of movement, until I heard the gasp. I shut my eyes closed. My fist shaking. I was going to break. "Edward?" I sighed before turning around stiffly.

I had to gasp this time. The girl from behind the counter had been the one to push _her_, turning her around to look at me. She had a surprised look on her face, her mouth slightly open. She was gorgeous. Her face had gained its color throughout the year, and the roundness and softness that it had lost during her depression. Her lips were so plump and pink that it was impossible. Her bone structure so amazing that it looked carved, and her cheeks rose red just like I remembered. Her pale skin was as milky as ever, and her eyes were deep, holding emotions that I had wished to see such a long time ago. They were framed perfectly by the thick black lashes, and her body was…oh god. She had gotten completely fit. She looked so cute in her denim shorts, t-shirt, and flip flops. I wanted to smirk, but instead I smiled softly as I got a good look on her. Beautiful as always.

It was then I realized I hadn't said anything, and as I let the moment sink in for the both of us, and watched as her eyes roamed up and down my body, I finally sighed. "Bella." I sighed in a quiet tone. It was the first time I had ever said her name in a whole year. I wouldn't even think her name, let alone say it.

Bella.

How I missed the sound of that. She sighed, the girl behind her, whom I assumed to be Katie, let her go. Bella just gawked at me, and I couldn't help but do the same.

All of our memories, and all of the bad times were worth it. Because this moment was worth it. Seeing her was just…indescribable. The face of the woman that I had missed for a whole year. The one I was in love with…the one I _am _in love with. The one I loved. Her. She was here. In front of me. And living, breathing. Here. I loved her.

I tried to blink, the shock still too fresh.

She had come after all. She had been here. I felt so lucky.

"Um…" She said. I could barely speak myself, as my heart went a thousand miles a minute. What was she doing here?

"Err…how are you?" I finally managed to ask, once I had looked away to stop gawking at her. She shook her head, her cheeks becoming pink.

"I've been….good." She said uncomfortably. Was I making her uncomfortable? Is something wrong? I pursed my lips. "What are you doing here?" She asked. I smiled.

"I thought I said I would be waiting here for you. Remember?" I joked. It amazed me how I could tease her at a time like this, when I felt like fainting at the moment. Hell, it amazed me that I could talk period. Her eyes all of sudden darkened, a frown coming upon her face. I could see the wall coming up, as she blocked herself from any emotions.

"You never came though." She stated. I looked at her confused. What was that supposed to mean? I felt my brow furrow.

"Um…why don't you guys sit down to talk?" Katie asked, pointing to a chair. Bella looked at me with her eyebrow raised. I wouldn't have it any other way. I would rather be here talking to Bella than in any other place at all. I extended my hand, pointing to the chair. She smiled, seating herself, as I sat in front of her.

Again, I couldn't stop myself from gawking at the beauty before my eyes. She looked around awkwardly before finally sighing.

Yet somehow I still found it ironic that it was here where we meet again.

"So, how have you been? What are you doing here?" She asked looking up at me. I sighed looking down at the table as I traced circles on it with my finger. Where to begin?

"I've been….doing much better." I admitted. "I left home soon after your…wedding." It was like a lump in my throat. I could barely say it, as I finally remembered how happy she should be with Derek. I glanced up at her, to see that her eyes had darkened with fury, and sadness. She blinked, before looking away. So I continued, storing that for later questioning.

"Um…I didn't do much. Alex and I officially divorced, and she moved out of the apartment. I haven't been doing much except work. I came here for a meeting." I said with a shrug. No need to mention the melt downs, break downs, and depression I went through. Bella smiled uneasily. "What about you?" I asked. She sighed. "How's….Derek?" I asked, his name like a bad bug in my mouth. I knew he did nothing wrong, but who wouldn't love the husband of the love of their life? It's only natural.

"Edward….don't you know?" Bella asked, her eyes holding disbelief. I looked at her confused.

"Know what?" I asked.

"They never told you?" She asked. Told me what? Who's _they_? I shook my head. She sighed. "Derek….well….." She was hesitant, before she finally took a deep breath. "Derek and I never married." She said, with a blush. I felt my eyes widened.

As horrible as it sounds, there was some burning happiness inside of me. They never married. Bella was single. Well….from what I know. She was single. She never married Derek. What had happened? Why? Did she break it off? Does that mean that she came waiting for me here? If so why didn't she call me? Did she hate me? Did I even hold a chance? I was jumping for joy while fearing the worst at the same time.

"What happened?" I finally asked. She sighed, leaning back on her chair.

"He called it off right after you objected." Bella explained.

As much as I was extremely happy, I suddenly felt incredibly guilty. Not only did I leave but so did Derek. That must have been so hard for Bella. Not that I really mattered much to her, but I practically ruined her wedding, and then the groom runs away. I suddenly felt furious. Why would he just leave Bella like that? What's his problem? I sighed, trying to control myself. After all of his, 'I love you Bella', and that whole, 'I'll do what's best for her, and what would make her happy' crap, he leaves her on her WEDDING DAY! What the fuck?! I took a deep breath, calming myself.

"Are you alright?" I asked Bella. She smiled, and nodded.

"I'm actually kind of glad he did it." She admitted. I looked at her like if she was crazy. She chuckled, a sound that I missed with a passion. "Derek and I are better off as friends now." She explained. "He found a better girl anyway. She's nice, and they're deeply in love. I'm happy for him." She said sincerely. I smiled. Always the strong one. How I admired her. And if it were possible, I think I fell in love with her even more.

"So…why are you in here?" I asked pointing around to the ice cream shop. She suddenly frowned, as she started playing with her necklace's charm. I watched her in awe. How could someone be so gorgeous, doing the simplest thing? Maybe it was just my eyes since I was in love….

"I came here, everyday." She started. "I hoped that you would keep your word. That you would be here." She closed her eyes taking a deep breath. I felt my eyes widen at her confession. "You never showed up, and at one point Katie became my friend as she asked me what was wrong, and why on earth I was here all the time…and ever since that day…she had always wondered what had happened to me." She chuckled. I felt my brow furrowed. "The day of the wedding…I ran here, waiting for you. But you never came….I broke down, and Katie helped me. She never brought the subject up…until one day." Bella took a deep breath. "I told her everything, and well, today she saw you here, and made the call rushing me over, and here we are." Bella said finally opening her eyes. I blinked a couple times.

"You were here every day?" I asked. Bella nodded, blushing. I felt a smile creep to my face, as my heart soared. "Waiting for me?" I asked. She nodded once more. I grinned to myself before looking down at my hands. I could barely register the breaking down part, because at the moment, my heart was beating frantically. She had waited for me. That only meant one thing….

I felt all fuzzy inside at the thought. She had waited for _me._ I smiled down at the table. It was time to start things over.

"You want to go out tomorrow?" I finally asked looking up at her. She smiled, until it grew into a grin, her eyes floating with different emotions. She finally nodded.

"I'd like that."

And that's how I knew that Isabella Marie Swan finally loved me.

* * *

**Alright, people. I know this is kind of a cliff hanger but the epilogue will be worth it. :D Ok, so, people listen up. I know you all wanted Bella to run to the ice cream shop, and her and Edward to be like "Oh I love you" but....I just couldn't do that. It would be too predictable and cliche, in my opinion. Then there would be no point to it. So instead I did do it...but in Bella's imagination. lol. For some of you that didn't get it, whatever was in italics, is what Bella wanted to happen, what she imagined. But it didn't happen in real life. Because in this story....nothing is ever happy. And since people were complaining (no offense to anyone, lol) that E/B are so cliche, then doing that whole ice cream shop thing would be even more cliche. I used the Ice Cream shop as foreshadowing, for this chapter. It's supposed to be like a symbol. Sorry, but I hope you could enjoy this just as much though. It feels like a fresh start to me. :)**

**Alright, so I want you guys to tell me what you thought, and if you're finally happy about the whole situation, if you have any questions just feel free to ask, I will be glad to explain. And, I want you guys to tell me what you want to happen. **

**Any cute little Edward and Bella moment that you would like to see, any "dates" you would like to happen, anything at all. Any cute lovey dovey stuff, you name it, I write it. Trust me this is you guys who get to choose what you want to see Edward and Bella do, and I'll write it down. The way I'm writing the Epilogue, I'll need you guys to give me ideas. So just trust me, share you thoughts and ideas, and REVIEW! Ok, I'm done. :)  
**


	19. Epilogue part 1

**This is part 1 of the epilogue. Hopefully you all enjoy it, it's extremely long, which is why I broke it into two parts. =)**

**I own nothing. =)**

* * *

**First date**

**E.P.O.V**

I was extremely nervous as I waited for the door to open. This was very important for me. For both of us. Yesterday I had spent the rest of the day with Bella in the ice cream shop. It hardly counted as a date. It was just natural. We were just Edward and Bella, the best friends, hanging out and catching up. She had told me a lot of things. She told me about how Angela was taking care of the diner, with her new husband Ben. She was quiting, and leaving it in their hands, and then she was planning on moving back to Forks. When she told me that, I felt my heart speed up in so many ways. I would finally get her back in Forks again. We talked about Alice, and Jasper, Emmett, Rose, Carlisle, and Esme, and her parents. We talked about movies, the concept of Romeo, --as usual-- and then we talked about the random stuff as we usually do. Bella and Edward, the best friends.

But today, it was different. Today we would be Bella and Edward the lovers going on their first date, and I had half a mind to just run away. But my feet were planted firmly on the floor. I would not leave. As long as I was welcomed, I would stay. I had been through too much, and now I finally had my chance. I was not going to give this up. And that's what gave the me confidence and boost to actually stay. And that's what calmed down some of the nerves.

Finally the door opened. I could feel my palms become sweaty as I took her in. The sun from behind me shone against her, making the red strands of hair shine through the other mahogany waves. Her pale complexion was glowing, and she looked beautiful in her yellow baby doll, and white shorts. It showed off her gorgeously long legs, and the color was just lovely on her. I had to take a deep breath, as my eyes marveled around this beautiful creature.

_Snap out of it Cullen. _

I finally shook my head, and smiled at her. She walked towards me, wrapping her arms around my neck. I hugged her back immediately, the feeling of her warm body against mine was amazing.

"Hey." I said. She pulled away, and smiled.

"Hey yourself." She said back. I raised my eyebrow, suddenly amused.

"Are you trying to be cool Bella?" I challenged playfully. She shrugged, her smile just as amused as my own.

"I don't need to try." She winked. I blinked for a couple moments, before grinning at her, my eyes smoldering.

"Well, you look very beautiful." I said softly. At this her eyes softened, as she gave me a small smile, her cheeks turning that all too familiar pink.

"Are you trying to dazzle me?" She asked, a bit breathless. I smirked.

"I don't need to try." I said using her own words. She blinked before smiling back at me. I chuckled, and held my hand out for her to take, my heart racing. She took it, entwining her fingers with my own. It felt right.

We started walking down the street. We were going to a nice little restaurant right down the street. The heat was still strange to me, as I came from a wet and cold place, making the dry air unwelcomed to my skin. In a strange way I liked the difference though, and for once I could see the sun. Not to mention that I had Bella with her fingers wrapped around my own, and her arm touching mine. It was a strange but good feeling. Through my eyes, Bella was a beautiful, grown, and strong woman. She was the love of my life, and my soul-mate if you will. But she was more than that too. And that's what made this small gesture, of entwined hands, strange. She was my best friend, and it was weird, different, and new to be intimate with her in such a way. This was something couples do when they love each other. And as much as I knew that I loved her, the small gesture just meant so much. It was weird because like I said, at the same time, she was my best friend. It was all too new, and I felt like a teenage boy on his first date. Pathetic yes...but still amazing.

"So when are you leaving?" She asked, her tone nervous. I looked at her. Her brown eyes were wide, as she bit her bottom lip. I smiled.

"This weekend." I said. That meant we had Thursday, Friday, and Saturday together without a problem. I was already planning different things that we could do.

"Oh." That's all that came out her mouth. I felt suddenly worried, and I turned to look at her, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze.

"What is it?" I asked worried. She shook her head.

"Nothing, it's just that, that means we'll be a weak apart." She said with a blush. I stopped, pulling her to a stop as well. She turned to look at me confused. I slowly, put my finger tips to her cheek, my skin grazing her own.

"Well we better make the most of today." I whispered, my breath hitting her face. She smiled at me, placing her hand on mine. It would hurt to be away for a week, now that we could finally be together, but we'd survive. We'd been through worse.

We started walking again, the conversation flowing freely after that. It was nice to see Bella happy, and so animated.

"Harry Potter is horrible." I contradicted. Bella gasped.

"Edward Cullen, you take that back." She said with a playful but serious tone. I laughed, wrapping my arm around her shoulder as we walked. She wrapped her own arm around my waist.

"No way Bella, I'm sorry but it's an immature story about a boy who happens to be the "it" thing in a place called Hogwarts, with talking spiders, and three headed dogs. He's 'saves' the world, yet it's only the world that revolves around Hogwarts, and he always brings someone down with him. It's a worthless series in attempt to bring back the bad guy that started it all when he was in fact buried since the beginning." I said. "The ending is horrible as well. I mean Ginny? Seriously? We all hoped it would be that puffy headed girl. Disappointment." I sighed. She looked up at me, with a raised eyebrow, and an amused stare.

"You know, for someone who hates the book so much, you sure seem to know a lot." She said with a smirk. I opened my mouth but she cut me off. "It's alright Edward. Either way I love the movies. Never read the books, you should know that."

"I do." I said with a triumphant smile. She smiled before speaking again.

"But I must say, the Goblet of Fire is my favorite. Cedric is adorable. Robert Pattinson is really good looking." She said with a happy sigh. I furrowed my brows. Robert Pattinson? What kind of a name is that?

"You like that guy?" I asked with disbelief. She smirked at me.

"Best looking guy I've ever laid eyes on." She said with a mischievous tone. I glared at her, before she burst out laughing. "Edward, I was joking. He's second best looking." I let out a gush of relief.

"So who's the first best looking?" I asked. She looked thoughtful for a moment, as if she was really pondering the answer. Am I that ugly?

"I don't know...Emmett does have good dimples."

"Bella!"

"I'm kidding Edward." She laughed. "You're the best looking, most thoughtful, and amazing guy I know." She said, as she stopped walking to look at me, both her arms wrapped around my waist. I smiled, and leaned down to kiss her forehead. Again, it felt new, yet wonderful, and right.

"We're here." I said softly as we reached the restaurant. She tightened her fingers around mine, and we walked in. There was a waitress already there, menus in hand. She smiled at us. "Table for two please." I said. She smiled, and nodded, grabbing the two menus and walking us to a nice table by the window.

"So, what do you want to eat?" I asked, looking through the menu. She looked thoughtful for a moment as she played with a strand of hair, biting her lip. I smiled to myself.

"I don't know...I like the chicken wings, and fries." She said. She finally looked up at me from her menu, catching me as I stared. "What?" She asked. I chuckled.

"Nothing." I said, looking back down at my menu. "I like the hamburger and fries." I said. She smiled.

"Alright then, two plates of fries, one plate of chicken wings, one hamburger, and one coke, and one Pepsi." She concluded, knowing my favorite drink. She didn't see the difference between Coke and Pepsi. Neither did I for that matter. But ever since we were young we would just get it that way.

The waitress came by a couple minutes later, with our drinks. She collected the menus and wrote down our orders as Bella and I continued to talk.

"I so want one of those hats." She laughed as she pointed at some guy wearing a lime green beanie. I laughed along with her.

"I'll get you one." I promised. She shook her head.

"No, no, please don't. You're already spending enough." She blushed. I looked at her with my eyebrow raised.

"Yes, because a 15 dollar lunch, is too much for me to handle. I couldn't possibly buy a hat." I said sarcastically. She rolled her eyes.

"You know how I get." She said. I smiled.

"Yeah...I do." I said. It went quiet then, and we looked away, Bella blushing. "So, who's this girl Derek has?" I asked. I had been dieing to know, and Bella didn't even flinch at his name, which was a good thing. She smiled.

"Her name is Katie. He said he really liked her." She explained.

"Yeah, I remember, you told me yesterday how he was really in love with her." I said, recalling yesterday's conversation. Bella looked down with a sad expression.

"Yeah...that's a funny story. He called me yesterday.....apparently, she wasn't legally divorced yet.....she has a kid too." She said.

"Ouch." I felt bad for him. The poor guy couldn't get a break. I hurt for him.

"Yeah." Bella chuckled sadly. "How's Alex?" She asked. I shrugged.

"I haven't talked to her in a while." I admitted. "The last time I saw her was my break down, a year ago."

"Oh." Was all she said. "Well, the life of our ex'sisn't something we should talk about." She laughed. I nodded in agreement, laughing freely with her. The food came then.

"This looks good." She said, rubbing her hands together.

"Now, Bella, don't be a messy eater." I warned witha chuckle. She looked up at me with a challenging look.

"I'm feisty not messy."

-:-

"Thanks again for everything." She said with a smile. It was getting chilly out, and the moon was high in the sky. I had my arm draped around Bella's shoulder, as she held onto me by the waist. I pulled away from her, to face her. She was smiling at me, her cheeks a rosy pink.

"No, thank you." I said. She smiled, her fingers lingering on the door knob for a moment. It was silent, and I knew what part was supposed to come now. I just wasn't sure if it was going to happen.

"So...." She said, her toe moving circled patterns on the floor. I rubbed the back of my neck.

"So..." I repeated her words, sticking my hands in my pocket. She finally looked up at me, and hesitantly reached her hands up, wrapping them around my neck. Then she got on her toes, and brought her face up to mine. My breathing was hitched, and my heart was racing. Her lips were a centimeter away from mine, as she waited, almost testing the waters. I could barely take it, so I bent my head, and pressed my lips to hers.

I sighed, against her mouth, at the feeling. I really had missed this way too much. It just felt so good every time. Her lips were so plump, so soft, so warm. I loved it. Our lips moved in a rhythm, and it took me a minute for the shock to really settle in, and for me to realize, that this was Bella Swan, my best friend, and the woman I loved.

The kiss started to get more and more deeper, and heated, as I wrapped my arms around her waist, her back hitting her door. Our lips moved faster, then slower, our tongues dancing, and the fire burning through my body and lips. I finally pulled away for air.

Her cheeks were red, and her eyes wide and innocent as she stared at me. I smiled, my fingertips caressing her cheek.

"Goodnight Edward."

-:-

**Forks reunion**

"Edward Cullen, I am still very upset with you." Alice said for the millionth time. She just couldn't get over the whole Bella thing. She was upset that I hadn't told her about running into Bella, my date, or even the fact that Bella was back in Forks again. Today was the day that I finally got to see Bella again. A week ago, in California, when we said goodbye, it was a very sweet kiss, and I had been dying this whole week to kiss her again. I was dying to see her period.

Those last days in Cali, were fun, and full of laughter and smiles, and for once I finally felt whole again. There was no burning depression, or urge to cry, or anything of the matter. I was content just being with Bella.

When I finally came home, I hadn't told anyone about it and I had yet to talk to my family at all. At work I had been completely distracted. Everyone at work would give me funny looks, wondering what I was on about this time. I was excited because I would see Bella again, and she was moving to Forks. Of course, I lived in Seattle, but Forks is way closer than California. That, and the fact that there could be some hope and possibility that she moves in with me. At least that was what we had spoken about when I asked her where she planned to live once she moved back. She said she would be staying with her parents for a while, but that she mostly planned on keeping a permanent residence in Seattle, where there were more job opportunities, and apartments. It worked for her because she could still be close to all of us too.

My aparntment was big enough for the both of us, and I had told her that if anything she could crash at my place, though I was hoping that she would _move_ into my place. So after all the bubbling excitement, Alice finally decided to call me, and I just happened to slip and tell her about Bella. It wasn't a pleasant experience.

So now, here I was, with Alice on my right, and Emmett on my lift, looking like a kid on Christmas morning, as we waited in the airport for Bella to descend. Esme and Carlisle were just behind us, talking with Renee and Charlie. Rosalie and Jasper were just laughing at Emmett as he drowned on and on about all the different things him and Bella could do, and all the pranks he would play on her. It was a competition, one on one between Jasper and Emmett to see who could make Bella blush the most.

"You guys, please. This is very important to me. Can you at least save all that for later?" I asked turning to face them. Everyone looked at me with amused smiles. I saw Alice's gaze fix behind me as she opened her mouth to speak. "No Alice, listen. I know you guys are excited to see her --Chief Swan, Mrs. Swan--, but this is really special to me. It's been a while, and we're finally ok with everything...so can you please act civil for once?" They were all staring at me amused now.

"Important huh?" I froze. I knew that voice. I turned slowly on my heel. She was there, smiling at me with such a goofy grin, that I wanted to laugh myself. It was silent for a couple moments before Emmett finally broke it.

"Bella!" He called excited, and jumped up, gathering her in his arms and hugging her tightly. Bella hugged him back, laughing as she threw her head back.

"Emmett!" She said, copying his enthusiasm. I felt a warm smile spread on my face as I watched them. Emmett planted a huge, wet kiss on Bella's cheek, and hugged her one more time before setting her on her feet. She then was attacked with Alice and Rose, in such a fashion that the three best friends fell back on their asses. I chuckled as I watched the reunion, my fingers itching for my turn. The girls squealed, as they asked Bella question after question.

"Guys, guys!" She stopped them, as they sat up from the floor. "Later." Bella winked. They laughed and got up, helping her as well. Jasper was next as he gave Bella a tight, and warm hug, and a kiss on the forehead. Esme and Carlisle had their moment as well as they hugged their "second daughter" tightly, and welcomed her home. The reunion with Bella and her parents, was a teary moment, and most of us had to look away from their private minute as they whispered to each other and hugged tightly.

Finally, after what seemed like eternity, they broke apart, and Bella was left looking at me.

It was an automatic reaction for me, so I was perfectly excused when I ran towards her and hugged her tightly, kissing her sweetly on the lips. There was a moment of "awws" in the background, but I didn't stop to look at them. I just kept holding her tightly to me.

"Alright, alright. I like you Edward, so don't push it." I heard Charlie say. I laughed, and pulled away from Bella to look her in the eyes. Relief washing over me, as the excitement bubbled deep within me.

"Welcome home."

-:-

**Be my girlfriend?**

**B.P.O.V**

If I was being honest, I would say that living with my parents made me feel awkward. I was a 24 year old woman, and I shouldn't be living with my parents. Though it did make it better since I was usually at the Cullen's house. I was planning on living in Seattle, and I had gone this weekend with Edward to look for some job offers. The one that interested me the most was the old book shop near Edward's apartment. It was perfect, and paid pretty good, and worked for my first job. I just didn't find a home yet.

Another thing that was happening in my life, was Edward.

I was so happy that finally, I was able to get him back. I haven't felt better in a whole year. I really was still in love with him, and by the looks of it, I had some hope that he still loved me too. We had been spending so much time together lately. We were always out and about, talking, laughing, walking around, eating. We had countless dates, I was just waiting to make something official.

I saw the looks that Alice and Rose gave us, and the smiles Esme carried every time Edward would touch me, by accident or not. I also had an interesting conversation with Emmett about condoms, which Jasper gladly joined in.

As embarrassingas this all was, at the same time it gave me hope that Edward and I would eventually end up together....soon. I didn't want to rush into anything drastic. But I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him after everything that has happened between us.

I just felt so comfortable with him. The way he made me feel was indescribable. Every kiss and touch was like a shock, of tingly butterflies. That's another thing. He was constantly making moves on me, holding my hand, caressing my face, kissing my lips, my forehead. He was always on me practically...yet no big move, no big label for us yet. And that made me wonder sometimes.

"Bella?" Edward's voice made me jump, dropping the dish towel, I had been currently holding. I turned around to see him standing by the door way, his eyes holding amusement, and his lips curved up into a lopsided smile.

"Hey." I said reaching for him. This hug was sweet. He wrapped his arms tightly around me, and squeezed me once, before letting me go, something he would do when we were young. It reminded me of the good old days, when I was younger and secretly in love with him. This time, it wasn't exactly a secret. Neither was the fact that he indeed loved me. So why weren't we official yet?

"What's up?" I asked. He leaned against the kitchen counter, picking up an apple and tossing it around.

"Nothing, just visiting." He said throwing me a grin. I blushed. "Where's Charlie and Renee?" He asked looking around. I sighed.

"Mom went out to the groceries, and dad is hanging at the station." I said. He nodded, looking down at his apple, placing the apple back on the counter. There was a silence that over took us, and the atmosphere was pretty tense. It felt weird, because for the past weeks that I've been here, I haven't felt this with Edward yet. It's always been pleasant.

"Um...." I looked up at him as he opened and closed his mouth. "I actually came here to ask you something...." He trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably. He had that same old crazy look in his eye. I stared at him curiously. He seemed....nervous.

"What is it?" I asked. He turned his head to look away, shifting from foot to foot. I hadn't the slightest clue what he was about to ask, but I was certainly interested in hearing it. What could make him so nervous?

"Well, we've been spending lots of time together Bella...and I was wondering....if maybe....you know...." I moved my hands for him to continue. I was already on edge, my heart racing in my chest. "Maybe you'd like to...." He knit his brows together, not meeting my gaze as he searched for the right words.

"Just spit it out Edward."

He finally looked up at me then, a determined look in his eye.

"Be my girlfriend?" He asked with uncertainty, his hands in his pockets, and his shoulders slumped. I didn't know what to feel at the moment. I had been waiting for that question since the 9th grade. So many thoughts and emotions went through my head, and Edward just stood there staring at me. I felt....happy. Finally, I snapped out of it.

"Yes!" I said jumping up.

"Yes?"

"Yes!" I said hugging him. He hugged me back immediately.

"Yes!" He said happily, as he kissed my cheek. I was having none of that though. I hungrily reached for his lips, my own devouring his. He kissed me back, his lips moving in such a hungry motion as well. It was the excitement, that we could finally claim ourselves to one another. It was the adrenaline from the sudden question, and it was just us in general, now that we knew we could kiss and touch without a worry.

His arms were tight around my waist, and mine around his arms. I couldn't help but smile as his tongue traced my lips, the taste driving me insane, and desperate for more. I couldn't help but feel the happiness sore through my veins. A couple years ago, when I was in maybe 10thgrade, and I was sure of my love for Edward, I would have had an attack if Edward Cullen were to have his lips on me. Edward Cullen my best friend. And now, I had them freely, and he loved me just as much as I loved him, maybe even more, if that were possible. He was kissing me with as much hunger as I was kissing him.

His hands went down to the small of my back, pulling me closer, and I responded by moving my hands to his chest. He pulled away for air, and as soon as the breath reached my throat, I moved my lips to his neck, kissing the soft, and delicious skin there. I had never met a man who tasted so good in my life. I let my hands trail down as I grabbed him by loop holes of his jeans. No belt today. I chuckled, the sound making vibrations on his skin, resulting in a moan from his throat. That only drove me more insane as he tucked his hands in the back pockets of my jeans. I started moving my hands to his zipper, ready to pull it down, when he stopped me, grabbing my wrists. He pecked me on the lips real quick.

"Bella let's take it slow." He whispered, then kissed my forehead.

As upset as I was....I couldn't agree more. I wanted to enjoy every sweet moment without a rush.

-:-

**The Move in**

To say the past month was blissful happiness, is an understatement. It was more than that. It was great. Phenomenal. Beautiful. Peaceful. Lovely. Any adjectives are good enough. Edward and I had been together for a whole month, and I had even talked to the owner of the book store. Peter, and his wife Charlotte, were an old couple, both lovely in every way, and extremely nice, and welcoming. They would take me in for work as soon as I moved to Seattle. My mom was a bit upset with the news, but thought it was a good start. She was ecstatic that I was with Edward. My father...well my father approved of Edward, but he didn't want me getting hurt...again. Alice was too much to control, and Esme was gossiping like an old woman with my mother about the subject. Rosalie just smiled smugly every time, while Emmett and Jasper made sure to keep a close eye.

Of course, we were happy, and I was moving to Seattle. I had a deep conversation with Edward about our relationship, and I had to say it almost left me in tears.

_flash back:_

_"Please...." I begged one more time. Edward just laughed, shaking his head. It was movie night, and I was staying over at the Cullen house, and so was Edward. _

_"Nope." He grinned, sitting next to me. I crossed my arms stubbornly. Zombies and blood just weren't my thing, so why on earth would he pick that movie? "Come on Bells." He said, bringing my onto his lap. I had to admit that although the anger, I was extremely happy to be in his arms. _

_"I don't see why you need to put a scary movie." I pouted. He chuckled, the sound music to my ears, before he bent down, putting his lips at my ear. _

_"Because...when you get scared, I can hold you." He whispered. I shivered as his cool breath tickled me. He chuckled again, placing his lips at my shoulder. Although Edward held strict limits to our intimacy, he had come to a sort of possession of my body. He kissed absolutely every part he could reach, touching me at all times, and always holding me. Hey, I wasn't complaining. _

_"You can hold me any time you want. You know that." I whispered, turning my head to look at him, as I got more comfortable on his lap. His arms held me tight around the waist, as his eyes bore into my own. There was more emotion than I thought there would be. His eyes were smoldering, as he gazed at me. "I'm...." I had trouble sounding coherent with the way he was staring at me. Finally, I took a deep breath. "I'm yours Edward." I whispered, my hand caressing his face. He sighed, leaning into my touch. His hand went over mine, holding it against the side of his face. _

_"I really, do love you Bella." He breathed out. I smiled, because I loved hearing those words from his mouth. Every time the got me. They sounded more like a song than a phrase. _

_"I love you too Edward." I finally said. He leaned down, smile softly, as his lips gave me a whisper of a kiss. They were so soft, and sweet against mine. It started out as an innocent kiss, his lips just pressing against mine with slight pressure. Then he bent down again, to give me another....and then another, and then one more, until I couldn't take it and I took his face between my hands, pressing my lips firmly to his, and holding him in place as we moved are lips in sync. He pulled away for air after a while. _

_"Bella, do you think...." He trailed off, looking away from me. I placed my hands on his chest, moving so that I was straddling him. He sighed, his eyes glazed over for a bit before he looked up at me. "Do you think we're pushing this too fast?" He asked. I looked at him shocked, my heart racing. What did he mean by that? My first instinct was that he wanted to break up, but he quickly realized what he had said and grabbed my face between his hands. "No, Bella. No! God no, that came out wrong. I meant that, well....I love you, but do you think that we're going a bit too fast? I mean we've only been together for a month...." He trailed off, shaking his head. _

_I understood then. _

_"Edward, I love you, and I know for a fact, that I want to spend the rest of my life with you." I whispered. He looked at me then, his eyes smoldering again. _

_"Forever?" He asked. I nodded, pecking him on the lips. _

_"Forever." I whispered with more conviction. Edward stared at me, as if searching for something in me, he finally smiled, as if he found it. Then he whispered back, _

_"Forever, is an awfully long time."_

_-:-_

_End flashback. _

That's all we needed to push us into the move in talk. He was the one who offered it, and I of course, accepted in a heartbeat without second thought. I was so sure of myself and my happiness with Edward was all that mattered to me.

"Hey Bells, you in here?" I heard him call. I placed the cardboard box down.

"Right in here." I called back. I ran a hand through my hair looking at the rest of the boxes that still needed unpacking. God. So much to freaking do.

"Those are a lot of boxes." I heard him say behind me. I didn't turn, as I felt his arms wrap around my waist, holding me tight to his chest. "I think you should take a break." He breathed in my ear, before kissing the hollow beneath my earlobe. I smiled.

"Edward..." My will power was leaving me....I knew that. "Edward, please." I moaned. "I need to...finish." I could barely talk as his lips assaulted my neck, opening so that he could bite me softly. He groaned.

"Bella..." He pleaded. I shook my head. "Come on." He egged on. I couldn't help it then, I turned around and jumped, wrapping my legs around his waist, and my arms around his neck. One make out session wouldn't hurt.

Moving in was fun.

**Our first time. **

"Thank you for dinner." I smiled once more, taking another sip from my wine. Edward just smiled back, his fingers tracing patterns on his glass. He had cooked me an incredible dinner tonight for our sixth month anniversary. Can he get any more better than that? I got up from my chair, and walked towards him, plopping myself right on his lap, which just happened to be my favorite spot for these past few months. I had to admit that I was so happy it was surreal. I was waiting for my high to just crash and burn. There was no way for me to receive all this without a catch. Edward kissed my cheek, his arms wrapping around my waist.

"You want to watch some TV?" He asked. I shrugged, not really caring what we did, as long as it was together. Edward got up, bringing me up with him. I followed him into the living room, as he laid down on the couch, leaving a space for me to lay in front of him. I got comfortable as he pressed my back to his chest. His long arm reaching for the remote from the nearby table, and turning the TV on. '27 Dresses' was on, and as much as Edward thought the movie was cheesy, he knew that I loved it, so he left it on. I smiled to myself, as I cuddled deeper into him, his fingers playing with my hair.

A couple more minutes into the movie, and I felt his hand start to rub my side, and I just wanted to close my eyes from how good it felt. Soon his hand moved onto my hip, and I could feel my breath becoming deeper, as his lips started to kiss my hair, then my cheek, and finally to his favorite spot on my neck. I closed my eyes then, letting the warm and bubbly feeling overtake me. Hmmm.

My breathing came in deeper and deeper. Edward's fingers, as soft as a feather, moved to the hem of my shirt, playing with the fabric. I couldn't breathe. His fingers suddenly went into the shirt, softly and slowly, and I could feel his own breath speeding up, coming in shallow breaths. His fingers danced along the silver of exposed skin, as his hand went deeper and deeper into the shirt. All I could do was close my eyes, and let the pleasant feeling follow me, sending me shivers and butterflies every time. It was an amazing sensation over all, and I could feel as his fingers went to my stomach in a trail leaving fire.

Edward had put careful lines for us, leaving the personal touching on the other side. It was something that we knew would lead us into trouble, and we both felt that with these new feelings, and recent heartbreaks, we should take it slow. It was clear that all those rules were out the window at the moment, and I would not be the one reminding him of them.

His lips left soft butterfly kisses on the side of my neck, sending even more waves of sweet pleasure, as the tickling sensation went through my veins. It was when he started sucking on my skin, that I couldn't take it, and I turned to face him. He encircled me in his arms and his lips crashed with mine, as I devoured his soft sweet petal like lips.

My hands flew to his hair, bringing his face closer to mine, as he moved to his side, bringing me on him. I could feel every outline of his body against mine, and it felt amazing, as I could feel his strong muscles, and every indent of his abs and smooth skin. I sighed in contentment. It felt wonderful.

It was when his hands pulled on my top, a groan escaping from his throat, that I knew exactly where this was going to lead. And I didn't stop him.

He kissed every part of my skin that showed, with such sweet whispers that it made me feel fuzzy inside, and loved. I kissed him back, every skin that I could see from his sweater, which landed on the floor eventually. He appraised my body, telling me how beautiful I was, and how much he loved me. I did the same, whispering how much I loved him too, after every kiss I planted on him.

It was when we fell off the couch, that the butterflies really started to get me. He carried me, wrapping my legs around his waist, and kissing his lips as he carried me to the bedroom.

The thing that scared me the most was that it wasn't just sex, it was making love. I had made love once....with Derek, but this was different. This was different because it was Edward. Derek was no Edward, and as sure as I was that Edward would be great, I was still nervous. This was the one thing that would put us together, that would make us _one._

I felt the air leave my lungs as he dropped my on the bed, and I crawled further up, laying my back flat against the mattress. Edward jumped on me, crawling over my body as his face came centimeters from my own.

"Are you sure?" He breathed, his sweet breath hitting my face. I could tell that at the moment, he wanted, no, _needed,_ to continue, and I was not at all opposed to the idea. I cradled his face between my hands, giving him a passionate kiss. I pulled away for air, his eyes burning with love and desire, and his breathing ragged.

"I'm positive."

-:-

**Work.**

That night with Edward was the best night of my life. It wasn't just him, it was us. I felt like we really did become one. Having him _in_ me was a new experience, something that I wanted to feel again. He was just so perfect, and just everything all together. It was a wonderful, and sweet night, that was for sure.

It was our first time, together.

I kept fantasizing every second of the day, about his lips on my skin, and our fingers laced together, as we reached our climax, and the movements of our bodies together as well. It was the usual thoughts in my head.

"Bella?"

"Hm?" I turned, still a bit dazed. It was Charlotte. She had a knowing smile, her wrinkles around the eyes just making her blue irises pop more. The freckles on her nose were only proof, of just how faired skin she was. Her snowy white hair looked like a puffy cloud upon her head. I have never met a beautiful old lady in my life. I can just imagine how she looked when she was younger.

"Are you alright dear?" She asked. I chuckled, blushing as I ducked my head.

"Mhmm." I said, afraid of speaking without squeaking. She giggled.

"Alright, we have some more costumers up front, you want to help out?" She asked.

"Of course." I said, as I put one of the books I had been stacking, away. She smiled, leading the way to the front. There was a huge line of teenagers, and middle aged women, children, and even men. This was sure a busy book store. I stood behind the wooden desk, sitting on the chair as I turned the computer on, ready to put the prices in, and check membership cards. For such a small, vintage book shop it was very well upgraded.

"Hi, how can I help you?" I asked, with a big smile as I looked forward. The lady smiled, she looked to be in her thirties, as she handed me the books she wanted to purchase. I appraised her choice. _Seduction at Christmas._

I raised my eyebrow at her. She shrugged, an innocent smile on her lips as she bit her lip. Of course, she's probably single, or not getting enough action from her husband, and in for a real dangerous romance. I chuckled to myself.

"That will be ten dollars in total." I said. She smiled, reaching into her purse and taking out a ten dollar bill. I smiled putting the book in the bag as she left. The line went on, and on as more books, mostly romance were purchased. I had a few sci-fi books here and there bought by some men, but other than that, they were mostly drama based, or classic romances. Even some cheesy teenage love novels like _Forever, _and _Sharing Sam. _

I smiled as yet another teenager came up to me, her hands full of books, and her big curls bouncing from side to side as she tried to hold them all. She seemed to be about 17 or 16.

"Hello." I said. She smiled, and replied back with a bright "Hello."

I took a look at all her choices. My eyes widened a bit at _Don't tempt me. _It was surely a book that got me blushing. _Can you keep a secret?_Another great book, funny and realistic, yet a british excellence. _The Notebook _was one of the ones that softened my eyes.

"What's with all the romances today?" I wondered aloud. The girl in front of my giggled.

"It's just dreamy." She said. "I mean, have you ever witnessed a love like that?" She asked. I smiled softly, thinking of Charlotte and Peter, Esme and Carlisle, and even my mom and dad. I nodded, pointing to the corner of the store, where you could see the old couple laughing, as Peter rubbed Charlotte's back. I remember how he told her how beautiful she was the other day.

"You see that couple over there?" I asked the girl. She peered around, craning her neck until she could see Charlotte and Peter, as I pointed at them with my thumb. She nodded as her eyes softened. "That's a real couple like that." I said, patting the book. I scanned, it telling her the total as she reached in her purse, and I put the books in a bag.

"But have you ever felt that love before?" She asked. I looked down, my mind drifting to Edward.

"Yes, yes I have."

-:-

**Propose**

One whole year. A whole year together of happiness, beautiful nights, wonderful moments, and it was all going to start as soon as I would open my eyes. I smiled as the lips kissed my neck sweetley, sending tingly feelings throughout my body. I smiled as his arms encircled my waist.

"Wake up." He whispered against my shoulder. I smiled, as his lips trailed up further until they rested on my neck, moving softly with little kisses. I craned my neck to give him more access. He just laughed against my skin sending vibrations.

"Good morning." I finally said, opening my eyes. This was my favorite part of waking up. His bright green eyes. A smile appeared slowly across my face.

"You want some breakfast, love?" He asked. I nodded, my cheeks heating up as he called my 'love'. He pecked me on the lips one more time, it was sweet and brief, and I missed the feeling already. His breath was minty, indicating that he had already brushed his teeth. He got off of the bed, I admired his body, as he remained shirt less with just his pajama bottoms. I smiled, getting off the bed myself, and stretching, as I walked to the bathroom.

After I did all my morning deeds, I walked off to the kitchen, where Edward's faced me. I could see his muscles as he continued cooking the 'perfect' breakfast to start off our anniversary. I walked up to him, wrapping my arms around his waist, my hands softly grazing his wonderful abs. I bit my lip, as the muscles of his back moved against my chest. There was no moment to describe how happy I felt.

"Pancakes?" I asked, as I smelled them.

"Your favorite."

------

Edward was a sweetheart this morning, but the afternoon he was even more irresistible, taking me out to the park. I dressed nicely, in a loose, and free yellow dress, with flats. Edward dressed just as nice in a fresh white button down, and jeans. I held his hand tightly in mine as we walked down the park, the sun hitting our shoulders. Today was a sunny day, thank god. No clouds in sight. I laced my fingers with his, as we walked towards a bench. He smiled kissing our hands together.

"You want some ice cream?" He asked suddenly pointing at an ice cream cart. Ice Cream had become a big symbol between us ever since California. I nodded, as he pecked me and got up. I waited, the excitement bubbling up in my veins as he got two ice cream cups for us, rather than cones. I was confused, but ignored it, letting him come back. He sat next to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. I smiled, as I watched him shift nervously in his seat.

"What's wrong?" I asked, placing my hand on his knee. He looked down at my hand for a moment, a longing in his eyes before he looked back up at me. I stared him down, a bit worried that something might have happened.

"Nothing." He finally smiled, kissing my cheek. I stared at him, scrutinizing to see any other shift or movement indicating that he was lying. But there was none. I sighed, and ate my ice cream happily.

"Alice called yesterday." I finally said. Alice had been calling me a lot lately, mostly to "check up" on me, but I hardly believed it. That Pixie was up to something.

"She did?" Edward asked, his eyes wide. I narrowed mine. Something _was _going on.

"Yes..." I said carefully. He cleared his throat, before looking forward. I stared at his profile, waiting for something else for him to say.

"Well?" I asked. He didn't look at me, but smiled that lop sided grin. I could see that crazy look going into his eye though. Hm....

"Well what?" He asked.

"Whatever." I dropped it, deciding that there was no use in it. "You know, I want to go to the beach one day." I said. Edward looked at me, taking another bite of his ice cream, as he stared at my own cup, a bit nervously too.

"You do?" He asked, finally looking up at me. I nodded.

"Yep. I haven't been there in a while." I said. He smiled, rubbing circles on the back of my hand, which he was now holding. How was I supposed to eat like this? I chuckled.

"Well, I know how much you like the sun." He said, staring at my cup again.

"You know everything about me." I reminded him. He grinned. "Just like I know everything about you."

"What's there to know?" He asked with a smile. "You _are_ my everything." My eyes softened, as we gazed into each others eyes. The moment was so sweet, so beautiful, but then he cleared his throat uncomfortably gazing back down at my ice cream cup.

"Are you going to finish that?" He asked, pointing to it, and letting my hand go. I raised my eyebrow.

"You want it?" I asked. He shook his head quickly.

"No, no. Eat up." He said. I shrugged, and continued eating happily as different topics flew through us and the air.

"You know I only had one pet before," I said, as I looked at a couple walking their dog. Edward chuckled. "His name was-"

"Sparky. You were six, you loved him for the first ten minutes until he bit you after you pulled his tail. You cried, and made me kiss your band-aid the day after. Ever since, dogs aren't your favorite, but every time you see one you have a sudden urge to pet him. You hold back though." He said the last sentence nonchalantly, as he continued eating his own ice cream. I stared at him wide-eyed, until he finally looked at me, and amused smile on his lips. "What?" He asked. I shook my head in disbelief.

"You're too good to be true." I sighed. He smiled. "How can you remember that?"

"Bella, you're my love, life, and best friend. Of course I remembered that." He said, a bit offended, but with a playful smirk. I shook my head. Conversations flowed like that.

"I hate the snow." I said.

"Bella that was so random." He laughed.

"I am random." I defended with a playful smile.

"Yes, I know."

"You know a lot."

"So do you."

"Do I know more than you?" I challenged.

"You tell me." He said.

"Well, randomness is what gets a conversation flowing." I said.

"True, but here's something I've got to know. Is randomness even a word?"

"Yes. It is."

"Are you positive?"

"See, that just proves I know more than you." I said, laughing.

"What if it isn't a word?" He said with a smirk.

"It is in Bella-land." I said, with a smile.

"I love Bella-land."

That was what our conversations usually consisted of, until I finally finished my ice cream. I hadn't realized it was taking that long for me to swallow ice cream. Well, I thought it was ice cream, until I put something in my mouth that was hard as hell. I took the spoon out of my mouth, to spit out the strange hard object. I almost choked on it. Edward looked nervous as he patted my back. It wasn't until I opened my eyes and looked at the object that I realized what it was.

Hard, cold, silver, and beautiful. The ring was shining against the light, and my eyes popped wide opened, as shock, and confusion rang through my veins. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Was this? Could it be...? No. Adrenaline washed over me as I blinked a few times, trying to get the blood flowing. This couldn't be what I thought it was. Edward was still beside me, waiting for my reaction. But I couldn't move. I couldn't do anything let alone talk. When Derek had proposed to me it had been sweet, and to the point. When Edward proposed to me, it had meaning, and it was classic. That is if this was even an engagement ring.

"Bella?" I heard him. I didn't move. "Bella...." He whispered, taking the ring from between my finger tips. I felt my heart accelerating, and my tears welling up my eyes. He got up from the bench and kneeled down....on one knee...in front of me.

"Bella, I know that we've had our ups and downs, and I know that us being together is a miracle, but I believe it was meant to be. We grew up, and with all the downs and heart breaks, and tears and pain we've been through, our love has bloomed and been able to stay strong. I know for a fact that I want to spend the rest of eternity with you. It's just up to you and what you want. I want you, and I love you. I need you, and I would want nothing more than to make you officially mine. Would you....marry me?" He asked, holding the ring out.

What. The. Fuck. Do. I. Do. Now?

I jump. That's what.

I jumped squealing like a school girl kissing every inch of his face, whispering, "yes." He laughed, hugging me tight to his body, kissing me back.

"I love you." I whispered once I had settled down. He stopped too, grinning from ear to ear. There were so many things I wanted to say at that moment, and I'm sure he did too, but he settled with the best way to explain it all.

_"You are my life now."_

-:-

* * *

**That was the epilogue part one. Part two should come out very soon. I told you the epilogue would be long and juicy. Yum. Sorry that it's completely and way too long, but hopefully you enjoyed it just as much as I enjoyed writing it. **

**PLEASE REVIEW AND TELL ME YOUR _REAL _OPINION! I love long reviews so don't be scared to rant off, even if it's about your cat. lol. Stay tuned for part two, plus I have lots of words I want to say to you guys, (all good, lol) and then of course, I have to post up the playlist and whatnot, so please, stay tuned, and REVIEW! **


	20. Epilogue part 2

**Well, there's a lot of things to say, but that's at the bottom of the page. Right now, I want you to sit back and enjoy. I know it's long, but take it as a New Years present from me. Unless you hate this chapter...then...I'm sorry. lol. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. (Last disclaimer for 'Congratulations')**

**Please read the bottom Author's note when you're done, it's extremely important for you to know what's going to happen when we're done. Thank you. **

* * *

**Bachelorette Party**

"No strippers right?" I asked Jasper. He gave me a reassuring, but devious smile. I didn't trust Emmett and Jasper taking my fiancé out for his bachelor party, and to say I was unhappy was an understatement.

"Bella, I promise, there will be _no_ strippers.....just prostitutes."

"Jasper!" He laughed, and rubbed my back.

"Don't worry, we got you. No strippers, or hoes." He promised. I crossed my arms over my chest, and narrowed my eyes at him, skeptically. He smiled an innocent smile, and I knew that they had _something_ planned for Edward, but his promise was still intact. I sighed, defeated.

"Fine." Jasper grinned, and hugged me tightly before placing a sloppy kiss on my cheek.

"Thank you for the approval Bella. Enjoy your night, because tomorrow, you're getting married." He said with an arm wrapped around my shoulder, and a teasing voice. I scolded him, and with another squeeze, he released me.

"Can I at least say goodbye?" I asked, almost begging. Jasper nodded with a gentle smile before leading me out to the garage. The jeep was parked out, and the back door was opened, Emmett seeming to hold it. I walked faster, until I broke into a sprint, my feet carrying me with a grin on my face. Emmett gave me a goofy smile before stepping aside, and letting me jump into the back seat. There Edward sat with a frustrated expression, turning to shock as I jumped inside the jeep, landing on him, and forcing him to fall back on the seat. I laughed as the look of surprise turned to mischief, and he sat me up to straddle his lap.

His eyes twinkled as he glanced down at my lips then back at my eyes. My heart raced as his green orbs burned into mine. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore, and my lips crashed to his, moving in a fierce dance, heating up my skin and lips. He kissed me back just as hard, his hands resting on my waist, the butterflies in my stomach uncontrollable, and my heart fluttering.

My fingers knotted in his hair, as his hands moved down to my thighs.

"Alright, alright, save it for the honeymoon." Emmett interrupted. With a groan, Edward pulled away, only to press his lips gently to mine one more time.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning." He promised. I nodded with a giggle, and looked at Emmett, who picked me up and hoisted me off the jeep.

Now, it was my turn to party. Let the games begin.

-:-

"Bella, please. It's not that big of a deal. Come on, loosen up." Alice said, throwing yet another drink my way. I shook my head, politely declining, but I knew that soon my temper would get the best of me. Alice sighed, seeing that I would not budge. "Bella, at least have some fun." She said.

"For what? So that tomorrow I can be puking sick and with a hang over?" I asked with my eyebrow raised. She placed a reassuring hand on my forearm.

"Let Momma Alice take care of that." She winked. I rolled my eyes and looked at the dance floor. Alice knew that I hated clubs, yet she deliberately brought me here anyways. I was very upset seeing as this was _my_ party. Shouldn't I at least go somewhere I _want_ to be? I was going to ignore Alice and Rose all day, though I wasn't doing a great job at it. I heard Alice sigh beside me.

"Alright, let's go." She said, dropping her cup on the counter.

"Go where?" I asked confused.

"Somewhere I know you would like." She said. I stopped on my tracks and yanked my arm from her grip.

"And where would that be Alice?" She turned with a smile.

"We'll go to that sushi place you love so much and have a big shrimp fountain." She said with a grin. I shook my head. I did love that place, and the shrimp fountain was the best, but that was something between Edward and I with the WHOLE family. Not just the women. I wanted to go find Rose, my mom and Esme, take them away from this club, and hang out together doing what girls do best: Being girls.

I wanted to have one of those cheesy sleepovers with 'How to lose a guy in 10 days' and other cheesy movies, while in pajamas, eating ice cream and chocolate. I know some would call it boring, but it was the Bella way to go. In reality, bachelorette parties, were about saying goodbye to being single, it was about saying goodbye to youth, and saying hello to adulthood for real. It was about having fun and being crazy one last time. It was quite sad really. But to me, I wasn't saying bye to anything, nothing would change other than the fact that Edward would have a ring claiming him as mine, and vise-versa. We would be happy forever and ever, and that's it. I wasn't going to say goodbye. I was just going to say hello.

I wanted to do something crazy, I didn't care what, and with a mischievous grin on my face, I told Alice exactly what I wanted to do.

-:-

"Cart racing in a grocery store at 9 o'clock at night Bella?" Rosalie asked, clearly amused. I shrugged. Esme giggled as she wrapped her fingers around the handle. Renee got comfortable in her seat inside the cart.

"I think it's a great idea. I mean, it does make me and Esme feel youthful...and it's a chance to kick your butts." Renee said with a laugh. Esme nodded, while Rose snorted.

"As if. I'm sorry Renee, Esme, but Bella and I will totally kick ass." Rosalie said with a smug smile. It was times like these that she reminded me of Emmett. I smiled to myself. All the employees around the empty grocery store gave us curious looks, if only they knew what we were up to. I held onto the sides of my cart as Rosalie got in position. Alice stood at the front of us between the two aisles. The first one to fill the cart with all the needed supplies for the sleep over, and make it back to the starting point wins. Alice smiled, waving her hand, the anticipation eating at me.

"Ready...set....Go!" And just like that we launched off, Rosalie barking orders out and telling me to grab different things as she ran by the aisle.

"Get the syrup, the whip cream, remember the crackers....Oh! Oreos! Hurry, we need to go to the ice cream section!" I grabbed everything quickly, yelping when I almost fell over, we could hear a little cheering forming from the by standing employees. Rosalie made it out of the aisle about the same time that Esme did, and we raced over to the other aisle full of ice cream goodies.

Opening the freezer door while in a cart and getting the chocolate jugs of Ben 'n' Jerry, while reaching for the strawberry, at Rosalie's violent speed was interesting to say the least. She almost made me trip, and from the corner of my eye I could see Esme and Renee doing just the same right next to us.

"Go! Go! Go!" Rosalie yelled. Yep, definitely Emmett's girlfriend. My eyes nearly popped out of my sockets when Rose rushed us to the other side, racing on one wheel, my heart popping out of my chest with adrenaline.

We finally made it to the end of the aisle, just neck to neck with Esme, until the wheel went over and me and Rosalie both fell, giving Esme and my mom the lead. My side hurt, but I was laughing so hard with Rosalie, as my eyes shut down from the fall. I held onto my sides both from pain of the fall and the laughter.

"Oh my god!" I gasped out. "That was awesome!"

"I know right?" Rosalie laughed beside me as she got up. She held out a hand which I gratefully took. "But it means..." She trailed off turning to my mom and Esme. They were both smiling smugly and cheering in those embarrassing mom happy dances.

"We won! We won! We won!" They chanted. I rolled my eyes.

These parties are fun.

-:-

"When he looks down at your lips, turn your head teasing him. This will give you the ultimate advantage when he gets frustrated. Eventually the more you avoid his kisses, the more aggravated he'll grow. This will prepare for a passionate kiss when he finally does catch your lips, all the frustration being taken out on the kiss itself, all the passion coming from him, while all you do is enjoy." Rosalie read from the glossy magazine. She raised a perfect brow in appreciation. "Hmm….I wonder if it actually works."

I rolled my eyes and snorted. "As if Rose."

"Hey, you never know. I think I'm going to give it a go on Emmett." She wiggled her eyebrows. I laughed and threw my pillow at her. She dodged it perfectly and popped another chip in her mouth.

"You know, Jasper is always real gentle...it would be nice to get him heated." Alice said, from the floor. She continued painting Renee's toe nails. We were all sprawled out in the living room. I was lying on my stomach on the couch, while Alice and Renee sat on the floor, doing their nails. Rosalie was reading little tips to us from a magazine all the way from the mattress that we set up.

"Alice, Jasper has always been gentle, and always will remain." Rosalie said. Alice glanced up at Rose with a little glint in her eye.

"That's what you think." With that she looked back down to my mother's toe nails. I chuckled as Rosalie shivered.

"That's gross."

"No, gross is you and Emmett in the-"

"Girls. Stop it. Tonight is all about Bella." Esme said as she came in from the kitchen with a new bowl of popcorn. I groaned.

"Why does it have to be about Bella?" I asked. "Tomorrow it's about Bella too. Can't tonight just be about _us_?" I asked. Alice laughed.

"Nice try."

"Well, it was worth the try…."

"You're so meant to be with Edward." Alice said giggling. I grinned at the thought.

"Yes, yes I am."

-:-

**The Big Day**

I looked at Alice nervously, ready to throw up from how nervous I was. I hadn't seen Edward all morning, or last night for that matter, and it was very unnerving knowing that I was about to get married, stepping into a room where everyone will look at me, and I will most likely fall on my ass. Alice had prepared everything, from the pretty orchids, to the set tables, from my hair to make up, shoes to earrings, bouquet to garter, and finally, my gorgeous big, white dreamy dress. The lace and swerves, the neckline, and tail…it was perfect.

Everyone was out there, but I don't think that was what worried me the most. I think the thing that scared me shitless, was the memory of my last wedding. I was afraid to be left again, and this time by the most important person in my world at the moment.

Though I knew Edward would never leave me, the fear was still there. Derek was out there as well as Alex, and I wondered how it was like for them to watch me down the aisle, along with my other friends and family members. What did they think after two weddings? I didn't exactly care to be honest.

Today was the beginning of forever with Edward. We would have children, buy a house….wake up every morning together. It would be a blissful life. I hoped. I had been through enough these past few years, that I knew that with Edward by my side…I'd be fine.

"Bella, take deep breaths." Alice instructed. In a different situation, I would have rolled my eyes in irritation at her, but at this moment, I did exactly as she said. Her pretty bridesmaid's dress fit her every curve, and petite body. She smiled.

"Alright follow after me. You know this." She said sternly. I nodded, still out of breath. Charlie was beside me, his arm wrapped around my own, as he held too tightly to my hand. I looked at him curiously. He never acted this nervous or emotional while I was with Derek.

"Are you ok dad?" I asked. He glanced at me and then took a deep breath.

"Today is your wedding day." He said through gritted teeth. I laughed, nervously.

"Dad, we've been through this before-"

"No, Bella, today you're going to be married to another man, one that will love and protect you, one that you love too. It's hard for a dad to let his daughter go." He explained.

I raised my eyebrow questioningly, my heart still beating erratically.

"But, with Derek-" My dad shook his head and interrupted me.

"Bella, a dad only gets this emotional when his daughter finds someone worthy of replacing his usual duties." He said firmly. He raised my hand to his lips, and kissed my knuckles. "I'm letting you go Bells."

And just like that, my face still showing shock, and my heart in my throat, the music started, blocking me of any sort of reply.

My father has never been a man of many words…and throughout the years, he wasn't exactly Edward's number one fan. He would watch us like a hawk, with knowing eyes, a guarded smile. It was like he knew. And then I finally understood. My dad knew that Edward was the one, and at the time, he just wasn't ready to give his baby up.

This brought a grin to my face just in time for me to step out into the yard. The wedding was set out in this beautiful meadow Edward and I found a couple months ago. It was absolutely perfect, beautiful in every way, and Alice couldn't have done a better job. The sight brought some tears to my eyes as I watched everyone looking at me. I tried to keep count in my head with the steps, but that all went out the window when I saw his face.

There was my Edward, all the way at the end of the aisle, a smile on his lips as he looked at me with loving eyes, relief washing over his face, his crooked smile in place. And then I knew. Edward Cullen was getting married to me, and he was one hundred percent in love with me. I grinned, my heart beating and my arms aching to be in his. I just wanted to get there as fast as possible. Today I was going to become Isabelle Marie Cullen.

Time was going too slow. I didn't bother looking at the crowd, or looking for my mom, or Alice and Rose all the way at the end, in their spots, or Emmett and Jasper's big grins. All I watched were his piercing green eyes, burning into mine with desire, happiness, love, and devotion.

I sighed, content when my hand finally reached his. I kissed my father's cheek, but my death grip on Edward didn't leave, and I desperately wanted to sneak a quick kiss.

I was aware of my hot red cheeks, but I didn't even bother caring about that. I was with the most beautiful man in the world, inside and out.

The priest cleared his throat.

"We are gathered here today to celebrate these two lovers in matrimony…." I barely registered the rest of his words. I just gazed into Edward's eyes, as his bored into my own, my hands a sudden death grip on his. He squeezed me back just as hard, grinning from ear to ear like a fool.

I didn't listen to the priest until we had to put the rings on and say our vows. Edward let my hand go for a brief second before picking it up again, my left hand, ring-finger already poking out. He smiled, and put the ring on the tip of my finger before repeating his vows.

"I, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, take you, Isabella Marie Swan, to be my lawful wife, to have and to hold, to cherish, from this day forward, for better, or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, forever and ever." He said as he put the ring in my finger.

His voice was so strong, so full of love, and determination, and honesty, and all in all velvet. There were sighs of admiration from the crowd, and I couldn't help the tears that trickled down my face. He chuckled quietly, a couple tears running down his face too, as he smiled and rubbed his thumbs against my cheeks, cleaning the tears away. I smiled, and took the ring; it was my turn.

"I Isabella Marie Swan, take you, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, to be my lawful husband, to have and to hold, to cherish, from this day forward, for better, or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, forever and ever." I said, stuttering a bit at the end as I cried, putting the ring on his finger. There were a couple of chuckles from the crowd as I missed his finger from the tears ruining my vision.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife." The priest said. "You may now kiss the-" But before the priest could finish, Edward had pulled me by the waist, crushed me to him, and dipped me down, his lips pressed firmly against my own. I sighed into his mouth, happy that I finally was able to kiss him. I wasted no time, and paid no attention to any of the whistles from the crowd.

"Alright you two…save it for the honeymoon." Emmett said. Edward chuckled against my lips and pulled away. I grinned, as he took my hand and we made our way out, as husband and wife, forever and ever.

-:-

"I would like to make this toast to my best friend Bella." Alice started. As the maid of honor, it was her rightful duty, as she had so lightly put it, to read a speech. Everyone quieted down, and turned to look at her. She cleared her throat, her voice shaking a bit as she spoke with a few tears.

"Bella, you have been my best friend for a long time, and as long as I've known you, I always said you'd end up with Edward. But you were stubborn." There were chuckles from everyone. "Though you were stubborn, and refused to go shopping with me, I loved you because of that, and that's why you make such a great match with Edward. I love you Bella, and I'm glad that someone is finally able to make my brother happy." She sighed, as there were claps. A few more tears trickled down her cheek. "Edward, this is your second time…and this one really counts. Don't screw it up." She said sternly, but jokingly. He laughed, but nodded, squeezing his arms around my waist. I shifted a bit on his lap as he tightened his grip even more. "But really, I love you Edward, you're my brother. I'm glad you can finally be happy. You both deserve it." And she was right. We did deserve it.

Edward kissed my neck, and I smiled, laying my head back on his shoulder. I mouthed 'thank you' to Alice and she winked. Rosalie got up, ready for her own speech.

"I don't know what to say except that I love you both…but rather than say, I would like to share…" She said. I looked at her confused. She pointed to the DJ in the background, and the soft tune came on. "You're first dance as wife and husband." She shrugged. I smiled, as Edward lifted me up from his lap. Everyone clapped around us, and for once, I wasn't opposed to dancing. I wanted to show him off to everyone, I wanted them to know…he was _mine_.

_She says "wake up, it's no use pretending"  
I'll keep stealing, breathing her.  
Birds are leaving over autumn's ending_

I smiled as I laid my head on his shoulder, my breath hitting his neck, and my arms wrapped around him, as he wrapped his own arms around my waist. He kissed my cheek. I sighed happily. The song was perfect. Thank you Rosalie.

_One of us will die inside these arms  
Eyes wide open, naked as we came  
One will spread our ashes 'round the yard_

"This is the happiest day of my life." He whispered. I nodded in agreement.

_She says "If I leave before you, darling  
Don't you waste me in the ground"  
I lay smiling like our sleeping children_

"The beginning of forever." I whispered into his ear. He kissed the top of my head, and held me closer.

_One of us will die inside these arms  
Eyes wide open, naked as we came  
One will spread our ashes 'round the yard_

At that moment, as I danced in my husband's arms, I realized something. It didn't matter. None of it did. Nothing could ruin this moment, not Jessica Stanley's glare, not Alex's longing looks, not Derek's sad, but joyous smile, not the fact that we've been through hell and back…nothing. It was perfect. And perfect it would remain.

**-:-**

**Honey Moon**

The day was spent sleeping sore in an airplane seat. I had slept rather comfortably, considering that I fell asleep on Edward's lap. Alice had made sure to have a hotel room rented for us along the way so that we could change into something more comfortable, and then make our way to the airport safely. Those Cullen's and their money.

But as I think this, I can't help but smile, because today I am a Cullen too.

"What are you smiling about?" Edward asks, as he glances down at me. I giggle, and cuddle more into his side. I had never been one for planes. In fact I down right tried to avoid them. I only took them when completely necessary. Like when I left off to California, and when I came back with Derek. Speaking of Derek, I had had an interesting talk with him the day of my wedding.

_Flashback_

_-:-_

"_Bella?" I turned around from Edward to see Derek standing awkwardly before me. I cleared my suddenly dry throat. I felt Edward's fingertips dance on my waist, and I turned my head to look at him. He gave me a smile and a nod, before walking off to dance with my mother. _

"_Hey." I said after a while of silence. He bit his lip, and looked away. _

"_Um…I…" He shook his head, before looking up at me. Whatever he saw there was what made his mind up. "May I have this dance?" He asked. I accepted, placing my palm in his, and my other hand on his shoulder. He wrapped an arm around my waist, but I made sure there was distance between our bodies. I didn't want anyone to think that there was still funny business with my ex. _

_Now that I thought about it, it seemed so surreal. I couldn't believe that it was this man that I had gotten pregnant with. It was this man who I befriended, this man who saved me, and this man who I had been in love with two years ago. I couldn't believe that it all had really happened. _

_I was a completely different person now. _

_**We**__ were completely different people now. _

"_I just wanted to congratulate you." He said sincerely. I looked in his hazel eyes, and I believed him. I really did. _

"_Thank you." I said with a smile. He twirled us around for a bit. _

"_You seem happy…" He said. I nodded. "You seem different." He noted. Again, I nodded. "And you seem to be in love." He sighed. Again…I nodded. "I'm happy." He smiled. _

_I knew that he was. He no longer held those feelings for me, and that was ok, because as rude or cold as it sounded, the feeling was mutual. We were friends, and to me that was a blessing. _

"_What about you and what's-her-face?" I asked, for lack of conversation. He smiled sadly. _

"_We're done." _

"_I'm sorry."_

"_It's ok." There was a pause._

"_What about Alex?" I asked, glancing her way. She was smiling sadly at me, her blonde hair in a bun, and her dark eyes, flat. _

"_What about her?" He asked. I wiggled my eyebrows suggestively. "Oh Bella, you're not suggesting I get with your husband's ex are you?" I liked the sound of that. 'My husband.'_

"_Oh come on. At least one dance." I said pulling away and calling a confused Alex over. _

_Watching them dance was nice. It was nice because for once, they didn't need to seem in love, because they weren't; things just didn't work that way. But they seemed happy, and enjoying themselves, laughing._

_They were happy. _

_-:-_

_End flashback. _

"Baby? Bella?" I felt someone shake me awake. I was not aware that I had fallen asleep.

"Huh?" I asked, wiping drool off the side of my cheek.

"We're here." He whispered, placing a kiss on my temple.

"Here?" I asked. "In Italy?" He nodded. I leaned over him, throwing myself on his lap to look out the window.

Indeed we were. Hello Italy. I grinned, looking up at his sparkling green eyes.

"I love you." I said suddenly. He laughed.

"I know."

"You love me."

"That I do."

_I will not comment on the adventures and escapades, or the honeymoon night that lead after that. All I'm going to say is, 'Thank you Alice, and thank you Victoria's secret.'_

-:-

"**Honey, I'm home!" **

I had always dreamed of my house when I was little. I wanted a large white house, two floors, made of wood with windows, and a nice porch with a blue railing. I wanted a double door, front door, made of glass. I wanted a bird feeder outside by a big tree, with a red mailbox, and a brick trail to lead to the front door. I wanted blue windows, with yellow curtains, and I wanted a neighborhood full of other families, that pop out of their houses just to say hello, and bake you cookies.

I didn't get that house.

Instead, I got a nice little yellow house in Seattle, with a nice neighborhood. It's not two floors, it's one. It has no railings, and no blue windows. It has white windows. The trail leading to the front door is made of silver stone, and the front door is not doubled or made of glass. It's white, with a welcome mat right at the step, and it has one window, but the window is covered by the baby blue curtain Renee bought me. I don't have a bird feeder, and I don't have a huge tree outside. I have a white mailbox, not red. My windows don't have yellow curtains, they have cream curtains matching the furniture that Alice bought me. I don't have neighbors bringing me cookies, but when you open the front door it smells of cookies.

It's not my dream house…it's better.

When Edward and I had gone looking for a house after our escape to Italy, we had no clue what we wanted. We just wanted to move from the little apartment he had. We wanted to move to bigger and better things. We just wanted to move.

"I have only one more house left to show you." The real-estate agent had said. "It's not much, but hopefully it can give us some insight on what you're looking for." She had been desperate, for every house she showed us was either too dirty, too broken, too expensive, or too…not us.

"We're hoping maybe this will satisfy us." Edward said apologetically as he rubbed my side soothingly. To be honest even I was desperate to see this house. My hopes were being crushed, and I thought that maybe there was just nothing that was good enough for us.

"Well, like I said it's not much, but perfect for a starting couple like yourselves. It might need some work, it is a bit vintage-"

"I like vintage." I said. Her eyes had sparked with hope as she quickly parked the car in front of the little yellow home.

It was love at first sight.

The doorknobs were a dark shade of bronze, so dark you'd think it was black. It looked to be from the era when showing your ankles was as scandalous as letting your hair down. The doors had splinters, and showed just how worn out they were. The wooden floor was scratched here and there, as well worn out. The walls were painted soft colors, of yellow, green, and the dining room a light purple. The master bedroom was painted a warm brown, but you could see it had been painted about ten years ago, and yet it was still perfect.

The back yard was stacked with leaves, the porch old, and losing color. And when Edward saw it, his eyes sparkled and twinkled.

There was one bathroom, and the walls were baby blue, the tile floor white, and the tub one of those old tub's, the kind you'd expect to see in Pride and Prejudice, with no curtain to cover or support it. The toilet was flushed with a chain rather than the normal flickable lever.

And like I said, it was love at first sight.

"We'll take it." Edward had said.

And just like that I had found myself unpacking, while Alice designed, and Emmett and Jasper moved furniture around with Edward.

"Shit Bella, how much crap do you have in here?" Emmett has asked. Rosalie had smacked him, and Renee had snickered.

"Esme what do you think of the dining room? Do we change the color?" Renee had asked. Esme had put her finger to her chin.

"Well, I don't know but-"

"Don't! Don't change it! I saw a design on a magazine with the same color…." Alice had said. She had dropped what she was doing taking them to the dining room, their voices trailing off.

"Well, it's a good thing your boy has muscles." My dad had told Carlisle as they stood in the doorway. Emmett had dropped his side of the couch, making Jasper drop his, and resulting in his side landing on his foot. Jasper had yelped, while Emmett had grinned.

"Thanks chief." He had said. Charlie had shaken his head.

"Not you boy. I'm talking about my new son-in-law." Emmett pouted, my dad laughed, and Edward had winked at me.

"Thank you sir."

"Call me Charlie, son; I've known you since you were in diapers."

"Right Charlie."

"Like I was saying it's a good thing you've got muscles, cause you're going to need them to protect Bella. You know how she is." Edward had looked my way and grinned.

"I do. And don't worry sir. I've been catching her all my life."

I had kissed him.

When the day was finally done, we had all sat in the new living room, on the new couches, with beers and pizza laughing. Emmett sat on the floor, a beer in his hand, his head thrown back in laughter, and one arm around Rosalie, her hand on his chest as she laughed too. Alice had been sitting on the coffee table, Jasper at her feet, and his head leaned back towards her lap as he looked up at her. The pizza had sat on the other side of the coffee table, and I had been laying between Edward's legs, my head resting on his stomach, as he had stretched out and taken the whole length of the couch to lay down, his arm wrapped around my waist, he was rubbing my side subconsciously, his gaze on Emmett as he laughed and yelled something at him, making them laugh more, and his beer in his other hand. Me? I just laid there and watched them. It was like watching in slow motion, the whole family together.

It was the first happy moment shared in _our_ home.

-:-

**I'm what?**

Work had gone by, Edward was doing great and I was doing great too at the bookstore. The nights were wild and passionate and Edward was more romantic than ever. Everything was perfect, and that was pretty much all I could say. Because it was.

"Alright, I don't know about you, but I think that Robert Pattinson looked so much hotter before he cut his hair." Rosalie argued. Alice shook her head.

"No. He still looks cute. He has always been gorgeous. Always has been." She argued. I just watched them. I would have brought myself into the conversation, I really would have, but there was something wrong. My stomach was all tingly inside, and I felt nauseous. I had been feeling this way for the past week.

"Until he cut his hair." Rosalie challenged.

"You're asking for it blondie."

"Bring it on Twinkle toes."

"That's from avatar."

"What?"

"'Twinkle Toes' is from Avatar the last Air Bender."

"How the hell do you even know that Alice?"

"Hey! I-"

"Guys….I don't feel so good." I interrupted. They both turned to look at me. "I'm gonna-" It was too late, I was already running to the toilet, my breakfast falling in it.

"Holy shit Bella!" Rosalie yelped, running behind me. Alice was already at my side, holding my hair.

"Are you ok?" She asked. I didn't answer. I just puked some more. I felt horrible.

"Bella did you eat something bad? Maybe it's cramps. Shit, do you have cramps? Did you take Midol? You should take Midol. I'll get you Midol." At the rate Rosalie was speaking, I was lucky enough to catch at least one word. That word was "Midol". I shushed Rosalie, as Alice wiped my mouth with tissue.

"I didn't get my period." I whisper, my eyes wide.

"What?" Asked Rose. I looked up at her, my eyes bulging out, my mouth wide open.

"I didn't get my period." I repeated, a bit louder.

Alice stopped, froze just like Rose. They didn't blink as they stared at me.

"Shit." Rosalie whispered.

"I'm going to be an aunt?" Alice asked.

"We need to get to the pharmacy."

-:-

As much as I wanted to tear my eyes away from the little pink positive sign, I couldn't.

There were so many emotions and thoughts that I had. Fears included. I was scared that Edward might not want the child. I was scared that something bad might happen again. And I was scared for ridiculous reasons.

I was happy because I had a baby inside me. Again. I was happy because it was Edward's. I was happy because I imagined it being a boy just like Edward wanted. A boy with green eyes, pale skin, bronze hair, and a missing tooth staring back at me, his father hugging him at his side.

I was happy because I wanted this.

And I was nervous because….I didn't know why I was nervous. I just was.

I didn't know what to think, or how to form an accurate sentence. I didn't know how to move my lips period. But I did know what time it was, and the familiar sound of the lock. He was home.

"Bella? Babe?" I heard him call. I stayed planted on the counter, the test in my hands, a grin on my face.

"Bella?" He appeared in the kitchen. I could see him from the corner of my eye. He looked me up and down, his gaze landing on the test. "What's that?" He asked, his breath coming in quicker, and ragged. I didn't speak. "Bella?" He asked again, a hint of hysteria and excitement in his voice. He came closer, until he was standing in front of me. I stayed seated in my spot on the counter as he took the test from my shaky fingers.

I cannot tell you how long he stared at it. I cannot tell you because I didn't look at him. All I can tell you was that finally, after what seemed like ages, he looked up and grinned. His crooked grin, his eyes sparkling.

"I'm going to be a dad?" He asked.

I nodded, grinning.

I really thought about it as we stared at each other. Years ago, when we thought girls and boys had cooties, when hugging someone was "ew", we were best friends. We were inseparable. And when I grew boobs and he grew abs, I was in love with him. And we were still best friends, and he was untouchable. And when he broke my heart, I fixed it. And I had a child in me before. And I was with someone else. And when we were both dying with emotional pain, I was still his best friend. When he was married, we were still best friends.

Now look at where we've landed. Look at what we are, how far we've gotten. And he's still my best friend. I'm still his.

It's hard to accept, hard to wrap around the idea, that years ago, that was us.

The best friends.

-:-

"Honey, I seriously think we should pick up the phone." I said against his lips. I don't think he understood me though. It was muffled. He just nodded, his lips leaving my own to go to my neck.

We were currently on the couch, his body outlining every bone and curve in mine, as his weight pressed to me. We were "celebrating" the news.

After he freaked out, and started screaming in joy, he kissed me. A lot. A whole lot. And I liked it. A lot. A whole lot.

"Edward." I hissed, but it came out as a moan as he sucked on the sensitive skin under my ear.

"Mhmmm." Was all that came from him. I pressed my palms to his shoulders, reluctantly pushing him away. He groaned and pulled away from me.

"What?" He asked, a bit annoyed, with wide eyes full of lust and desire. I almost took him right then and there. Almost.

"The phone." I reminded him. He sighed and rubbed his eyes before sitting up, straddling me to lean over the back of the couch and pick up the phone. I looked up at him with innocent eyes.

"I hate Alice." He muttered before answering.

"How do you know it's Alice?" I asked. But at that precise moment he had clicked the "talk" button, and Alice's yells were impossible to miss. He raised his eyebrow at me, as if proving his point. I giggled.

"What?" He asked into the phone. The screams stopped. Then there was yelling, some colorful words, and a lot of "You're an idiot."

"Alice, calm down." Edward sighed. She didn't. So with the roll of his eyes, and a sigh, he supported the phone between his shoulder and side of his face, as he bent down again, until he was laying over me, his face pressed to my chest, while he put the phone on speaker and on the coffee table. I chuckled as he answered another one of her insults with an, "Mhmmm."

I ran my fingers through his bronze locks, playing and tugging at them, enjoying the moment, besides Alice's complaints. God knows what she really was complaining about. Perhaps it was the news with the "baby" and how Edward hadn't called his mom to tell her. Who cares?

His, "Mhmmms" started turning into, "hmmmmm." And his strokes on my side started to become softer, slower, and soon he just wasn't answering at all. I knew then that he had fallen asleep.

It should have bothered me, or hurt me that a man such as Edward, much more heavier than I am, was on top of me, and my breathing should have been pushed out by now, my lungs protesting. But it didn't bother me in the least. I felt more comfortable, and content actually.

And with the new baby in mind, the happiness in my veins and Edward on my chest, I fell asleep happily.

-:-

**The Birth**

"You son of a bitch! You did this to me!" I screamed in pain at Edward.

"She has contractions." Carlisle assured Edward's puzzled face. He soon came into understanding and nodded.

"I'm sorry baby." He said, squeezing my hand. I had given birth before, but before I was more worried about surviving and my child surviving to care about the pain. Today, none of those were a problem. The only problem was the killer contractions.

"She's almost ready." Carlisle said. I sighed in relief. Edward was at my side, squeezing my hand.

"Baby, we'll get through this." He promised. I nodded, my face sticky and sweaty. Renee put another damp cloth to my forehead. My dad was all the way at the end of the room, away from me, looking pale. Edward just looked excited and my mom looked about ready to cry.

"I love you." He said. I nodded again, and kissed his palm.

"Alright Bella, when I say so, you're going to need to push." Carlisle said, getting ready.

All I can think is "Oh my fucking shit noodles."

I look over at Edward and for the fifth time today, I say, "You son of a bitch! You did this to me!"

He just laughs, bends down to kiss my forehead and says, "Love you too babe."

-:-

"Reneesme Carlie Cullen." Carlisle says proudly. It was such a pain to get her out, but when I saw her, it was all worth it. A head full of locks of bronze little hair, and long eyelashes, with pink cheeks, a pale complexion, and plump lips. I smiled again, kissing her soft, delicate forehead. Edward was sitting next to me, tears in his eyes as he stared at his baby girl.

I passed her to him, and he takes her with a grin, his eyes glistening that way they always do, and his long fingers playing with her little tiny ones. She hasn't opened her eyes. It will be a couple days until she does, and I'm praying that her eyes come out that dazzling green just like her fathers. She's gorgeous. My baby. She smells of baby.

You know? That sweet smell, of a clean baby, like that Johnson shampoo bottle? Or the baby powder? Yeah, that's what she smells like.

We had just breast fed her a couple hours ago, and so far, everyone had come to see the gorgeous baby. Alice, Rosalie, Emmett—who got teary eyed—and Jasper too. They had all come to see her.

They had all fallen in love with her.

"I'm going to teach you to play baseball, and you're going to kick all those ugly boys away." Edward cooed. I chuckled as I watched him. The look on his face was so soft, so peaceful, and so beautiful. The way he would bend down and rub Reneesme's little nose, and the way he would press his lips to her forehead.

It made me warm and fuzzy inside. It made me happy.

"Gosh, she's beautiful." Esme muttered next to me.

"Yes he is." I breathed, my eyes glued to Edward. Esme chuckled beside me, bringing me out of my daydream.

"I was talking about the baby." She laughed. I blushed, shaking my head. Yes my baby was beautiful. Both my babies were, and they were both interacting together right now.

I smiled watching her peaceful face, and then watching his. Like father like daughter.

"Alright, let the mother have her child now." Esme said playfully. Edward chuckled, and carefully rested Reneesme in my arms. I could barely take my eyes away from her. My personal little kicker, my baby, my sweetie, my daughter. But I did. I did tear my eyes away. I tore them away to glance at Edward. He just wouldn't take his eyes off of her. He was so mesmerized by her.

His baby.

My baby.

_Our baby. _

-:-

**Fifth birthday**

"Uncle Em!" Reneesme jumped up at the sight of Emmett. She was getting so big. In one week she would start kindergarten. She had lost her first tooth yesterday. The front one. Needless to say, she was freaking out, saying that she couldn't go to school like that. In other words, she's excited for kindergarten. She refused to smile…until Emmett came along. Her brown eyes sparkled in the sun.

The only thing about her that looks like me. Her eyes. They weren't Edward's green sparkling ones, but they were beautiful nonetheless. She looks most like her father, except that she has my nose, and plump lips. Other than that, she is an exact copy of him. Sharp angled face, high cheek bones, and lashes for miles. She's also a huge daddy's girl.

"_Daddy I want a pink bear." _

"_Pumpkin, they only have blue ones." _

"_But I want pink." _

"_But sweetie,"_

_Insert puppy dog eyes here. Wide, innocent, fluttering lashes, pouty lip….she learned it from me. _

"_You're just like your mother. I can't resist you anything." _

_Insert hot kiss here, and an "Ewwww! Gross!" from Reneesme right here. _

Yup, he's pretty much wrapped around her little finger. She's learning how to play baseball too, from Jasper and Edward. Though she can barely hold the bat, she finds it fascinating. Emmett is trying to teach her football…though the last time he gave her the ball he took it away after it landed in a not-so-nice-spot.

"There's my little oompaloompa!" Emmett laughs as he picks her up. She giggles, placing a giant kiss on his cheek.

"Where's aunty Rosie?" She asks. Emmett whispers in her ear, something that makes her gasp and put her little hand to her lips.

"Really?" She asks. He nods excitedly and puts her on the floor. Reneesme runs quickly inside the house, and Emmett comes to give me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"What'd you tell her?" I ask curiously. He winks.

"For me to know and for you to find out."He says. I roll my eyes at the goofball.

"Look at what I found digging in a bag of sugar cookies!" Edward came out, with a giggling Reneesme propped on his waist. I gasped realizing what Emmett had said.

"Rose brought sugar cookies Em? You know Reneesme gets hyper!"

"Chillax Bella, it's no biggy. Let the kid eat her damn cookies. It's her birthday." I sighed in defeat.

"This little monster was hiding them in her new princess purse." Edward said, laughing, his eyes sparkling as he kissed Reneesme on the cheek. She giggled, and snuggled closer to his chest.

"I knew that purse Alice gave her was a bad idea." I laughed, shaking my head.

"Oh shut it Bella." Alice said, coming out with a plate of appetizers.

"Sorry about the cookies Bella." Rosalie said, coming behind her. Her belly was huge! She was sixth months pregnant, expecting baby twins, the sex being boys, but we weren't completely sure.

"It's ok." I smiled, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"Mommy, I want to open presents." Reneesme said, suddenly at my feet. Edward and I stared at each other. We had one more surprise for Reneesme. It was more for the whole family in fact. It was a surprise that we weren't sure exactly how Reneesme would take. Edward and I on the other hand celebrated all night when Reneesme left to sleep at my parent's house.

"Aren't you anxious?" Alice cooed, pinching her cheek. Nessie grinned, showing her missing tooth.

"Oh my god, did you lose a tooth already?" My mom said from behind me. Nessie snapped her mouth shut, and hid her head in her father's neck. Edward rubbed her back, soothing her.

"Mom, be sensitive. She thinks she looks ugly." I said. My mom understood then and made a motion to zip her lips.

"Well I think you look beautiful." Jasper told Nessie, placing a kiss on her cheek. Nessie giggled. Her crush of the week. She refuses to believe that the gorgeous blonde is her uncle, for she will one day, and I quote, "get married with him and live in a pink castle."

She blushed and hid herself more into Edward's neck. Another trait she got from me. The ability to blush. Fortunately, it looks lovely on her.

"Alright Jasper, that's my baby." Edward said with playfully narrowed eyes.

"Daddy, I'm five." Reneesme pouted, as if being five made her old enough to do anything she wanted. Like if being five was the answer to everything. "I want presents!" She said again with a giggle. I took a deep breath, as I stood by Edward behind the cake.

"Let's blow the candles first sweetie." I said with a smile. She nodded as we all stood behind the cake. The singing was off key, but I just listened to Edward's voice the whole time, and Reneesme's little hum. It was pleasant.

"Happy Birthday Squirt!" Emmett cheered kissing her cheek. She shrugged him off, and gestured toward me. Edward placed her in my arms.

"Mommy, presents." She insisted. I sighed, and nodded.

We were all sitting in the living room. My mom and dad were on the couch, watching Nessie with loving eyes. Carlisle and Esme sat on one arm chair. Esme sat on the arm, and Carlisle took the seat. They stared at us, a silver box in their hands. Alice sat on the floor, Jasper sitting right next to her, and Rosalie took the other arm chair as Emmett stood behind it. They were all watching us, and I grew more nervous. Edward wrapped his arms around my waist from behind me as we stood kneeled behind the coffee table. Reneesme went around picking the presents up and tearing them open.

Alice and Jasper got her a kitchen set, the Little Mermaid one. She had jumped for joy, kissing them both. Rosalie and Emmett got her a pink football, and a sleeping beauty dress. My mom and dad got her two Barbies, princess additions, and Esme and Carlisle got her a fake car so she could ride around in. The batteries were paid for too by them. It was finally our turn, and Edward had stuck his hands in my pockets from how nervous he was too.

"Mommy?" Reneesme asked. I took a deep breath.

"Baby, daddy and I got a…weird gift." I made sure to use easy words for her to understand me.

"What weird gift?" She asked. I heard Edward take a deep breath too.

"Well, you see…..how would you like to have a baby brother? Or a sister?" I asked. She stared at me for a moment, as there were intakes of breaths around the room.

"I want one." She said. I grinned, sighing in relief.

"Well, we got you one." I smiled.

"Where is it?" She asked, her eyes sparkling. I pointed to my stomach, and Edward's hands fell on them too from behind me. I placed my hands on his warm ones.

"It's in here." I said with a smile. "It will grow and grow, and in nine months it will be out." I explained. She smiled, her dimples showing, and she bent her head to kiss my belly.

"Sleep baby brother."

-:-

**Kindergarten**

Reneesme tugged on my hand harder. She was dragging Edward by the other hand too. She had been very excited along with everyone else when they found out I was pregnant.

"Mommy, I don't want to be late." She whined. I laughed, and walked faster coming closer to the classroom door. Reneesme stopped in front of it, taking a deep breath, squeezing our hands. I looked at Edward, but he was already looking at me with a crooked grin. I smiled back.

"Alright pumpkin, let's go inside." I said, opening the door. The colors inside that room could blind you. There were wooden blocks, running children, doll houses, desks, and chairs, and it looked like the rainbow vomited on it.

"Come on baby." Edward said, pulling her forward.

"Ok…" she muttered, her eyes falling to the ground. Edward let her hand go, as he grabbed my own. We watched the teacher come up to her, smile, and lead her to a desk. She smiled politely at her and sat down. Edward wrapped his arm around my shoulder, kissing my temple.

"We did good." He whispered. I nodded.

"Hi. I'm Jacob." There was a boy, he had russet colored skin, with pearly white teeth, seeming to be missing one of his front teeth as well. He looked to be about Reneesme's age. He had shaggy black hair, a round face, and full lips. He'd be a heartbreaker when he grows up.

"Hi." Reneesme said shyly.

"Are you here with your mommy and daddy?" He asked. She nodded and pointed to us. The boy, named Jacob, looked over and his eyes got all wide. "You're mommy is really pretty." He said. She smacked him on the shoulder. "Hey! What was that for?" Edward chuckled next to me, clearly enjoying the poor boy's pain. No one messed with his two girls.

"That's my mommy." Reneesme complained. He laughed.

"But you're really pretty too." He said. She blushed and ducked her head. "Hey you're missing a tooth!" Oh no. She looked ready to smack him again. "It's ok, I'm missing one too." He assured. Her eyes softened.

"Really?"

"Yeah, look…." He said pointing to his tooth.

"Alright Edward I think she'll be just fine." I said, before he got all protective.

"Wait, just one minute. Maybe he tries to pull a move." He said. I rolled my eyes, and pulled him away.

"A five year old, Edward? Be real. He thinks she has cooties." I joked. He laughed and followed behind me.

"Alright."

We walk back hand in hand to the car. The sun is setting and our bodies are radiating heat from how close we are. We just left our baby girl for her first day of kindergarten, and as I look to Edward's profile, his eyes that dazzling green, his lashes long and casting shadows on his cheeks, and his lips full, I realize that in the future, we'll do just fine.

We'll do just fine.

-:-

**Finale**

To be honest, I never picture my life like this. The perpetual happiness was overwhelming. It was something that I had finally grow accustomed to the day I said, "I do."

But there are times when I wonder. _What did I do to deserve this? Maybe I'll crash and burn from my high. There's a catch. This can't be real. _

I know what you're thinking. _Stop being overdramatic. Why would you feel that way?_

To be perfectly clear, I am more than grateful for the outcome of my life. Sometimes I do think I deserve it after all the things I had been through, and all my pain. But when I do think that way, I curse myself, afraid of jinxing it.

The reason for my feelings, and worries, is the surreal feeling that builds in the pit of my stomach when I awake in the morning.

I feel a soft piece of hair on my cheek, and when my eyes flutter open I'm met with mirroring brown orbs, looking back at me. Reneesme giggles, and kisses my cheek. When I look up, her father is already propped on one elbow, with a full cup of orange juice in his hand. The orange juice is for me, and Reneesme usually has a flower, sometimes a picture she has painted—on a good day, of course—and Edward kissed my forehead. Both their smiles are the same. The crooked grins, except Nessie's is more female-like, cute with dimples, and Edward's is just…..hot.

Just that alone makes me feel like I'm dreaming. When I sit up, E.J is already staring at me at the foot of the bed, his thumb in his mouth, and his little fingers curled around Nessie's foot. His green eyes, just as powerful as his father, and his hair a shimmering brown, twisted in locks pointing in every direction, shades of bronze here and there and a small patch of light freckles across his nose, indicating he had just woken. Mommy's little boy.

The both beautiful little children staring at me, along with their beautiful father.

That, my friend, is why I feel like it is all going to fall down. Nothing can be that perfect.

But then, I reach out and kiss his soft little cheek, wrap him in my arms, as he lays his head on my shoulder, and I remember that this isn't a dream.

My little E.J, five years old today, and his sister, ten years old, were currently dragging us through the busy streets of California, where everything had began, ended and began again. The little ice cream shop right around the corner.

The reason for our staying here, was simple. Edward had a meeting here, and it was E.J's birthday. The only way was to celebrate it here, in our favorite little ice cream shop, and go on a grand vacation. So we did.

"Mommy, then he told me I looked really pretty, and kissed my cheek!" Reneesme said excitedly. This was another one of her stories, as she said it with bright eyes, and flushed cheeks. I grinned. Jacob, was certainly a very good friend of Reneesme's. His mother, Emily and his father Sam, are very nice people, offering to baby sit my little Nessie. I swear she gets more like Alice every day, full of bubbling excitement.

"He did what?!" Edward growled beside me. I chuckled, entwining our hands to calm him down. There was a look of amusement and outrage in his eyes.

"Daddy, relax, I'm like ten." Nessie said in a duh voice. The voice, and tone, that said it was ok. She said it as if being ten was the answer to everything, as if being ten allowed her to do anything she wanted. The same thing she said after every birthday. But today, it was E.J's birthday.

"Nessie, I don't appreciate boys touching you." He said. I giggled, as Reneesme rolled her eyes. "I mean, you could get boy disease." He said in a rush.

"Dad no one believes in cooties anymore." She said. Edward muttered something about 'killing the little russet oompaloompa' and something about 'better not touch Reneesme if he wants his fingers'.

"Come on babe, chill." I said. He looked at me for a second before sighing in defeat.

"Mommy, I want ice cweam." E.J said. I chuckled, and held onto his hand tighter. Edward was holding Nessie's hand, and then mine with his other hand. E.J was having a bit of a trouble pronouncing his "R's" but we were working on it.

"Cream?" Edward asked, with a teasing grin. E.J narrowed his eyes at him.

"That's what I said. Cweam."

"Alright sport." Edward laughed, ruffling his hair, as he let Reneesme's hand go. Reneesme ran in front of us, reaching the ice cream shop.

"Hey, hey, hey! Be careful!" I called, as E.J ran in front of us too. We made it inside, the children already ordering their ice cream, leaving the poor counter girl puzzled as she tried to make out their requests. I laughed.

"Reneesme let your brother order first." I said. She ignored me.

"Relax honey." Edward said, standing next to me, with one arm wrapped around my shoulder. He kissed my temple, my own arms wrapping around his waist.

"I know, but the poor girl is going to pop a vein." I said. He chuckled.

"The usual for us?" He asked. I nodded, and went to take a seat as he went to the counter, ready to put the two kids in order. I laughed as I heard the bickering of my little ones, and my husband. I love calling him that. _Husband. __My__ husband. _

"Bella?" I turned around to the voice, a familiar pair of blue eyes staring at me.

"Katie?" I gasped. She grinned, and I immediately got up to hug her. I hadn't seen her in the longest time. She used to work here, in fact she was the one that got me and Edward together when she called me to the store.

"How are you?" She asked. I smiled.

"Fine." I said pointing to my family over at the counter. Her gaze traveled over to them, a smile slowly spreading on her face.

"They're yours?" She asked in awe. I nodded. "The boy looks just like you." She noted. "And the girl looks like her dad."

"Yeah, she's a feisty one." I chuckled. I took a moment to look at Katie up and down. She was wearing a grey suit, expensive too.

"What's up with you?" I asked. She smiled.

"I own this place now."

"Really?" I asked. She nodded. "Well, get used to seeing us here, because this our spot."

She laughed. "You're always welcome. Well, I got to get back to work, I'll see you later." She said. She walked away after giving me another hug and giving me her new number. Edward came walking over to me then, Reneesme's nose full of strawberry ice cream. Her favorite color and flavor.

"Who was that?" He asked pointing to Katie. It was a miracle that he didn't remember her but I just smiled.

"A friend."

He shrugged, and sat down in front of me, E.J at my side, and Reneesme at his.

"Guess where we're going after this?" Edward asked. I took another bite of my ice cream, as E.J dropped his spoon excitedly.

"The baseball field!" He said with a huge grin. Edward nodded, and reached over to ruffle his hair. I narrowed my eyes at Edward. He knew better than to mess E.J's hair up. Unlike me, E.J had gotten his father's hair, despite the color. Meaning that it was always, messy, stubborn and impossible to style. E.J paid no attention to me as I ran my fingers through his locks.

"I want to play too." Reneesme said. Edward nodded, pinching her cheek.

"Of course princess." He said. She grinned at him. "What about you honey, you gonna play with us too?" Edward asked me with a secret smile.

"Yep." I said. E.J smiled at me, then continued eating the mess he calls ice cream. There were all kinds of flavors and toppings in there.

"Daddy can I go play in that game back there?" Reneesme asked, pointing at the game machine right behind us. Edward nodded, handing her a dollar and then handing E.J a dollar too. They both got up and left to the games.

"You know how long it's been since we're here?" I asked as Edward took E.J's spot next to me. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

"I know, over ten years." He said. I nodded, resting my head on his shoulder. "Bella, I'm glad we stayed together." He whispered. I looked up to meet his gaze.

"Me too." I said with a smile.

"I love you." He whispered, twirling a piece of my hair with his fingertips.

"I know."

"You love me." He grinned.

"That I do."

The last picture of this chapter of my life is Edward's lips on mine, my head tilted back, and his fingers knotted in my hair. In our chair. In our Ice Cream Shop. In our spot.

Of course, that doesn't mean the story is over. Not in the least. Like Natasha Bedingfield once put it, the rest is still unwritten.

And as I wonder exactly what is to come, I don't seem to care, for I have the three most important people in my life, and that's all I need.

Now the sun is setting, E.J has a bat on his hand, and a hat bigger than his head on. He tries to look up, but barely can. Edward is behind him, a smile on his lips so big that it's ridiculous. He has his hands on E.J's elbows, guiding him to bat, as our little princess, in her pink skirt throws a ball their way. It's not the best throw, but it's perfect for us. And perfect for E.J to hit. Edward has to jump back as the bat almost hits a spot where the sun is surely not to shine. E.J apologizes, while Edward just laughs with a look of relief. I can't help but smile, because I know he's ok. We're ok.

And this is my happy ending.

Congratulations to me.

* * *

**Please read the follow author's note for more on 'Congratulations'. **

**I know what you're thinking, but you might as well just tell me. Of course I will put the playlist up with songs I haven't even posted yet, and I will be adding outtakes, like,**

**-Baseball with dad, **

**-Bed time stories, **

** and**

**-High school reunion.**

**Those are chapters that didn't make it in, but I will be posting them up soon for all to read and enjoy what's left of our little tale. Another thing I'm doing is a big thank you and links to translations, myspace pages, and even a poem that someone wrote about my story. If you want to add to that please do so. :) All as a big thank you to all of you! Thank you for keeping up with this story and actually enjoying it. **

**Now, as a favor to me, if you've ever read this story, do a review. It doesn't matter what you write, even if it's not in English, if it's to curse me out, just write a review, and tell me what you thought, and let's see how high we can take those review numbers up for "Congratulations". If you have this story on favorites or alert, just write a review for the first time. **

**Again thank you all for enjoying the story, and stay tune for the outtakes, playlist, and much more. **

**LOVE YOU ALL! THANK YOU FOR KEEPING THIS STORY GOING! **

**Love, Retro. **


	21. Outtakes

**Sorry I took so long to post this up…lol. **

**Warning: the following outtakes you're about to read didn't make it into the epilogue for various reasons. They're not edited, they have mistakes, are rushed and don't make sense whatsoever, but even so I hope you can enjoy them. :)**

**I didn't think they would fit into the epilogue, and quite frankly I was so tired of writing that it came out slacked, and sloppy, not at all a way to end a story, so I cut them out. But here they are for your enjoyment, although I doubt you will enjoy due to the mistakes you will soon find, but even so they're not meant to be perfect, and they're a fun read and fun insider so…eh. It's a free extra, who doesn't like that? Lol. **

**-:-**

**High school Reunion**

Have you ever had one of those times when you feel so nervous, yet so excited you feel like puking? But you don't want to puke because your husband will freak and turn the car around, taking you to the hospital like the over reacting idiot he can be?

Well, I was having that moment.

I was nervous because I hadn't seen most of the kids from school in an extremely long time. But at the same time I was excited because I wanted to show off Edward. I wanted everyone to see that we did end up together, and how in love we were. Most of all, I wanted to shove it in Lauren' Mallory's face.

Is that a bad thing?

"You ok?" Edward asked, resting his hand on my thigh. I nodded, my eyes staying glued to the road ahead of us. Edward glanced at me with a smile, looking me up and down, his eyes lingering on my legs. "You look gorgeous." He said. I blushed, his eyes burning into me.

"Eyes on the road Edward." I said nervously. He chuckled, before looking forward again.

"Did Alice make you wear underwear?" He asked. I felt my cheeks heat up further, because she had not in fact.

"_Oh Bella, don't you know that you guys are going to be staying at the hotel all night? I know my brother. Trust me when I say that you won't need any underwear. Besides, you could see the lines on the dress and I'm sure you'd hate to wear a thong." _She had said.

"Is that a no?" he asked.

"No Edward, I'm not." I finally said. He grinned. What a couple of horny teenagers we had become.

"You know, when we were in high school, Garrett and the gang used to make bets on what kind of underwear you were wearing, sometimes if you were wearing a skirt, others if you had a push up bra…." He trailed off.

I felt my eyes get wide. Garrett and the gang? As if in the guys I was about to go reunite with?!

"What? Why?" I asked.

"Because, we thought you were hot, and we were teenage boys. You were oblivious, and let Alice dress you up….it was only natural." He shrugged.

"You used to think I was hot?" I asked, surprised.

"Of course Bella. I've always thought you were sexy as fuck." He said with his little crooked grin. Such a dirty statement with such an innocent face…only Edward.

"So let me get this straight….the boys, and you used to check me out…and win money over what underwear I was wearing?" I asked. Edward nodded as if it was the most normal thing in the world. I have to admit it was intriguing and very flattering that they thought of me that way…especially Edward seeing as I had suffered all those years for nothing.

"Who would win?" I asked. Edward gave me a grin.

"Me. I knew you the most." He said. I laughed, shaking my head at the ridiculous logic. "Are you excited to see everyone?" he asked.

"Sure, I mean, almost everyone." I said. "I want to see who ended up with who, and how everyone has been doing." I shrugged. "….And I want to show you off." I added. Edward laughed, entwining his fingers with mine.

"I think I'll be the one showing you off….I already said you looked amazing right?" he asked. I rolled my eyes and nodded. "That little red dress looks like it can do many things….." he said staring at the bottom of the low V-neck. I reached over and pushed his face toward the road.

"Watch it buddy." I warned with a laugh.

"We're _so_ going to the hotel right after the reunion." He said with a goofy grin.

We had planned to stay at the hotel due to the fact that we'd leave the reunion very late, and it was at Fork's High School, and since we lived in Seattle, that wouldn't exactly work out. Esme had agreed to take care of Reneesme, and for the past hour I had been calling over and over again. I stopped when Esme assured me she was asleep. After that I had been struggling, shifting in my seat as the silk dress Alice gave me rode up every few bumps in the road.

It was loose from my breast line down, but my breasts were so pushed together, tight, and pushed up that I thought I wouldn't be able to breathe.

I looked over at Edward. He looked great in his black suit, the jacket looking amazing on him, still showing the well defined muscles, and the white button down underneath, leaving me with dirty fantasies that only hormonal teenagers would have.

I sighed, as we reached the familiar white building. Forks High.

The school itself brought back so many memories, of everyone together, Edward and me when we were just "the best friends", something that we still were. The sight also brought more nerves. Edward squeezed my hand before parking in the same old parking space he used to use. I couldn't help but smile at the coincidence.

I could see Jasper's vintage Jaguar park behind us along with Rosalie's red convertible, right through the review mirror. I smiled to myself as the couples got out. Her bump was pretty visible at the moment. Emmett grasped her hand, and put an arm around her shoulder like if she could break. She rolled his eyes at him, and strutted her way down the parking lot, being the first most gorgeous woman I've ever seen in my life that can work a pregnant belly.

People glanced her way, and that's when I really started to get excited. My old friends.

I grinned as everyone in the parking lot glanced at Alice and Jasper, women whom some I remember their names, were drooling at the blonde male, and men were glancing at Alice with hunger that only Jasper was allowed to look at her with. They all recognized the couple.

The glances they gave Emmett and Rosalie were quite amazing as well, some full of disbelief, that the on and off couple of senior year were still together and awaiting a child. Like with Jasper and Alice, they drooled and admired the sight of muscular Emmett Cullen, and Rosalie Hale, or as she goes by now, Rosalie Lillian Cullen. Her ring glimmered in the moonlight.

It almost distracted me, as Edward suddenly came to open my door. I could see all the glances they gave Edward in anticipation. The curious slash lusty glances at the gorgeous man. They wanted to know who Edward Cullen had ended up with. I grinned as I got excited for their reactions.

Edward opened my door, reaching his hand in. I took a deep breath before pressing my palm to his. I could almost hear the intake of breaths from everyone. I put one leg out, before gently putting the other. I stepped out of the car in my two inch stilettos, (Alice held mercy for me) and entwined my fingers with Edwards, as a smirk came over my face at their reactions.

I could hear the gasps as Edward pressed his lips to my neck, and I blushed. I could hear the whispers as we walked through the crowded lot, people making room for us.

"Is that Bella?" I heard someone whisper.

"Dude I told you they'd end up together." Another said. Edward chuckled in my ear, wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

Some of the faces I recognized, for they had barely changed. James, the school druggie, stood with his elbows rested on the hood of his car. He had cut his long hair. Laurent, the school body president from senior year; Victoria the slut who would eat every teachers' cock; Zafrina the captain of the old volley ball team; Tanya, the ballet dancer who was currently giving my husband flirtatious smiles to which he ignored because he was too busy looking at me; Kate the old thief, Goth rebel whom just so happened to have dyed her hair a light red, and was dressed neatly with Erick Yorkie the computer geek, holding her hand, a slight bump visible through her white dress. That was a surprise, I never expected them together.

There was Irina the teacher's pet; Quil the old jock was standing with Jessica Stanley by his side, which also happened to be invited to my wedding. She was giving me a slight smile, so I guess she was over Edward. One person in particular really got me to smile smugly. Lauren Mallory walked in front of us, her mouth open as she stared at Edward and me like we were some kind of joke. I had the urge to tell her to just take a picture, but I kept my mouth shut.

I felt happy to see everyone, and to see that they were all staring at us with surprise etched on their faces. They really couldn't believe we ended up together. It made me smug, and I got more into Edward's side, wrapping one arm around his waist.

We finally entered through the doors to the old gym, more memories of my days with flying volley balls and nose bleeds filling my mind. The school prom which was held in this very gym and the times I used to sneak out with Alice and Rosalie just to hang out behind the bleachers and listen to music.

"Well, looky here. Edward Fucking Cullen, and Isabella Fucking Swan." Garrett. Funny Garrett. The Garrett I had missed so much, and the Garrett that all though he tried every once and a while to pull a move back then, was one of the coolest guys I knew besides Emmett and Jasper, my husband included.

"Garrett Carter you son of a bitch." Edward grinned, his arm leaving my body briefly so that he could give Garrett one of those "manly" hugs. I chuckled at the reunion between the old friends. Garrett hadn't changed much. He was still as tall as ever, his eyes grey as a cloud, and his hair sandy blonde, though he buzzed it, showing his handsome features off. He looked much more mature and older now.

"Damn Cullen, no wonder you hung around her all these years. You scored man." Garrett said, no doubt his one goal to make me blush, which was unfortunately, succeeded. "Ah! There it is!" He said, pointing a finger at my cheek. Edward laughed along with Garrett as he pulled me into a tight hug, before releasing me. "Good to see you guys. Where's the rest of the gang?" He asked.

"Garrett!" Emmett's booming voice hollered. Garrett grinned before walking over to them. I smiled, shaking my head, and turning to face Edward, my hands resting on his forearms.

"Are you ok?" He asked. "Not still nervous are you?"

"Nah. I'm better now." I said with a smile. He grinned, pecking me on the lips, and lacing his fingers through mine as we walked to sit in one of the tables.

"Cullen?" A much older version of Benji called. I grinned as he walked towards us. He still looked three years younger than he actually was, but he had gotten taller. "And Swan?" Benji asked, giving me a hug, and Edward a "man hug". I had missed Benji so much. Although he was older than me, I had always thought of him as a little brother. He was one of the guys I missed the most. I was excited to see him.

"It's actually Mrs. Cullen now." I corrected. His eyes widened.

"Whoa. Garrett so owes me fifty bucks." He said with a grin.

"You're still betting?" Edward asked. Benji winked with a nod.

"Yep. And I just won me some gambling money." He said. I rolled my eyes.

"What have you been up to?" I asked. He shrugged.

"I met a girl down in Florida. Real cute, very nice. We've been on for two years, and I was thinking of proposing." He said with a soft smile. I rubbed the side of his arm.

"That's great Benji." I said, truly happy for him. Benji was a very nice guy, and he deserved happiness.

"Thanks. So what happened to you guys? Let me guess, right after high school you just, 'got together' right?" He said with quotation marks and a smirk. I looked at Edward, and he looked at me. We couldn't help but burst out laughing causing curious glances our way. He had no idea the hell we had been through to get to this point.

"It was harder than it looks Benji." I assured. "But so far, everything is great, we have our home down in Seattle, you should come visit. You can meet Reneesme." I said. He raised his eyebrow.

"Reneesme?" He asked. I smiled at the thought of my daughter, and I could see Edward's eyes lighten up too.

"My daughter." I confirmed. His eyes went wide.

"Damn. You guys are all set then huh?" he asked. I grinned and nodded. "A daughter?" He asked, still surprised.

"Who has a daughter?" Lauren's voice came behind him. She looked Edward up and down, her eyes fogging, and then she glanced at me, a sneer forming on her lips. Good to know she's still a bitch.

"Edward and Bella's daughter." Benji said. Lauren put on a fake smile.

"Oh so you guys settled?" She asked. Edward glanced at me, and I glanced back our eyes meeting for a moment, before he smiled, making me smile.

"Yes, we did." He said, still not looking away. I blushed looking back at Benji and Lauren.

"That's great." She said with a cheeky expression.

"What have you been up to?" I asked her. She smiled, ready to bore me into oblivion with her bragging.

"Actually I-"

"Bella Swan?" I turned around, Edward's hand on the small of my back as I met a familiar pair of blue eyes.

"Mike?" I asked, shocked. He had certainly grown, losing his baby face, and growing his hair. I knew he'd probably be here, but I was still surprised to see him.

"Hey." He grinned, walking towards me. He gave me a quick hug before backing up.

"How are you?" He asked. I smiled softly. I figured it would be a question I would get asked a lot today.

"I'm actually doing really great." I said. He looked me up and down.

"Damn Swan, you grew." He said. I blushed, shifting uncomfortably, and resting more into Edward's suddenly tense side. Mike wasn't very nice to Edward on the first year of high school, being all smug, and claiming me as if I was his. On top of that, he was my first kiss, and the guy who tried to stick his tongue down my throat. I winced at the memory. Edward broke his nose that day.

"It's Cullen now." Another thing I'd have to correct a lot tonight too. Mike raised his eyebrow looking between me and Edward.

"You two finally got together then huh?" he asked. I nodded.

"Hey Bella, Edward! Over here!" Garrett waved, saving me from Mike's questions. We excused ourselves, Edward's hand holding tightly to mine.

"I don't like the way he looked at you." He said.

"I don't like the way Lauren looked at you." I retorted. The corner of his mouth twitched.

"You're cute when you're jealous."

"As are you." I said, raising our entwined hands to kiss the back of his hand.

"Bella can you please tell this idiot that you and Edward are really married, with child and home." Benji explained, pointing at Garrett. I laughed.

"Yes, Garrett, Edward and I make baby." I said, as if I was speaking to a child. He groaned, taking out his wallet, muttering incoherent sentences under his breath.

"Whatever." He said. Edward laughed, his gaze landing on the new and improved Kate, and Erick walking through the doors.

"Hey Garrett, what ever happened to you and Kate?" Edward asked.

"Yeah, what did happen? I thought you were together." Emmett added. Rosalie and Alice looked at him curiously.

"Actually, we lasted until the beginning of the second semester in college, and then it was over. I really liked her too. I see her today with Yorkie, and I wonder what the hell she was thinking." He shrugged.

"Don't worry, I'm sure you'll be just fine." I assured.

"Shit, I am." He grinned. "I still can't believe you two ended up together and made me lose 50 bucks." He frowned. Benji snorted.

"Everyone knew they would end up together. You're just an idiot."

"Shut up." Garrett muttered. I chuckled.

"Did you see Banner?" Garrett whispered, pointing towards the door, where an old man with an extreme case of hair loss stood. Alice gasped, putting a hand to her lips.

"No way!" She said. Garrett nodded.

"Yes way."

"He used to be really good looking though." Rosalie said. It was true, the man used to be extremely good looking for forty years of age.

"Hey, you guys used to check him out?" Emmett asked, full of disbelief.

"Yep. Him and Mr. Romero." Alice said.

"Speaking of which, where is he?" Rosalie asked.

"Did you ever check teachers out?" Edward asked me. I shrugged.

"I was a teenager Edward." I said, using his excuse. He laughed, shaking his head, and then placing a kiss on my temple.

"What food are they going to serve?" Benji asked, rubbing his stomach. Garrett shrugged.

"Old people food."

"Dude, now you're old too."

"The hell I am!" Garrett said, hitting Benji in the back of the head. Benji winced.

"You see, now that's why Irina dumped you too!" Benji exclaimed. We all gasped as Garrett covered Benji's mouth.

"You dated clock-blocker-teacher's-pet-Irina?" Emmett asked.

"Da helsh he bib." Benji said, though it was muffled with Garrett's hand. **(A/N: just incase, Benji said, "The hell he did." Lol)**

"Shut up!"

"You guys are too much." I said.

"Welcome our old senior class, we're about to serve the food, and speeches." Mr. Banner said into the mic. Everyone then proceeded to take their seats.

The rest of the night was great. We talked a bit to everyone and they all had the same surprised reaction to our close proximity, and cuddling. The dinner was delicious, seeing as they gave us salad, ribs, and a side of fries as a joke for our old youth. They had a video of our old pictures, and class memories. There were at least ten out of the thousands of pictures that included Edward and I.

In one, it was pie day, and I had pie all over my face, Edward's finger tracing a line down my cheek, and he was laughing, kneeling next to me, my eyes squeeze shut. I had laughed, and covered my eyes in embarrassment as there was laughter in the background.

Then there was one for our field trip to Rapid's, and it was me on Edward's back, with my hair soaking wet, as he looked up at me. In that one there were sounds of "awwws" everywhere.

Then there was one where me, Rosalie, Alice and a few other girls were on the floor, laying around on the field the day of the football game, and Edward, Emmett, Jasper, and Garrett along with Benji had thrown water on us. People laughed.

Then there were the prom pictures, in which Edward had been my date, much to my luck at the time. They showed every couple's picture, and when it came to me and Edward, I was wearing my blue dress, Edward in a black tux, his arm around my shoulder. I had looked up to his face, and he was looking down at mine, a smile on his lips, as I laughed. I remember that day. We had been laughing because he knew I hated pictures, and he had forced me to take the damn picture. When the picture came up, I had pecked Edward on the lips, as I suddenly remembered how much I had suffered from liking him, and how we had all along just been best friends.

How that should have been enough for me. And it was.

After all the pictures, we had danced a bit. It felt like we were all eighteen again, but as I looked around, I realized we weren't, but we were acting like we were. One night to redo it all over. One night to be young again, and for it not to matter. One night to be in high school, and have Edward as my lover, not my friend.

_The dawn is breaking  
A light shining through  
You're barely waking  
And I'm tangled up in you  
Yeah_

I had my head rested against Edward's chest, his arms wrapped around my waist, holding me close.

_I'm open, you're closed  
Where I follow, you'll go  
I worry I won't see your face  
Light up again_

"Are you happy with how today turned out?" He whispered against my ear. I nodded.

_Even the best fall down sometimes  
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme  
Out of the doubt that fills my mind  
I somehow find  
You and I collide_

"This place had so many memories." I whispered back.

_I'm quiet you know  
You make a first impression  
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind_

_Even the best fall down sometimes  
Even the stars refuse to shine  
Out of the back you fall in time  
I somehow find  
You and I collide_

"Do you miss the old days?" He asked. I thought about the question.

"I kind of do sometimes, because of all the great times we had." I answered.

"I don't."

"Why?"

"Because I was oblivious, and I wasn't with you." He said. I rolled my eyes at the cheesy reply.

"You were always with me." I said.

"But not how we should have been." He said, holding me closer.

"You're so cheesy." I laughed. He laughed with me.

"Only for you." He said.

I rolled my eyes once again, placing a kiss on his chest before sighing, content in my happy place. I could feel all the gazes on us.

_Don't stop here  
I lost my place  
I'm close behind_

_Even the best fall down sometimes  
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme  
Out of the doubt that fills your mind  
You finally find  
You and I collide_

And even though everyone stared…I couldn't care less.

You finally find  
You and I collide  
You finally find  
You and I collide

-:-

**Bed time Stories**

"Mommy, can I tell the story this time?" Reneesme asked. I smiled at her, tucking her in further.

"Sure honey, which one are you going to tell?" I asked, though I knew the answer.

"The one about you and daddy. EJ never heard it." She said, matter-of-factly. "Please mommy." She asked, with her eyes all wide and her lips pouted. I should have never taught her that. I sighed.

"I'll go get EJ." I said in defeat. She grinned, snuggling into her covers. I went across the hall into EJ's bedroom.

He was still wide awake, toying with his action figure.

"Hey my little ball of sunshine." I said, sitting at the edge of his bed, running my fingers through his hair. He smiled up at me, dropping his action figure, and hopping out the bed, to wrap his little arms around my neck.

"Goodnight mommy, I love you." He said. I chuckled, pulling back to look at him.

"No, sweetie, Nessie wants to tell you a bed time story." I explained. He cocked his head to the side.

"What kind?" he said.

"It's a surprise." I whispered. He grinned, and nodded. I carried him, balancing him on my hip as I walked to Reneesme's room. He hopped into her bed, getting under the covers, sticking his thumb in his mouth, and getting into Nesse's side, wrapping his arm around her waist. She smiled.

"What story are you telling me?" He asked.

"I'm telling you the one about mommy and daddy." She said with a sparkle in her eye. I sat back on the rocking chair and watched.

"What happened to mommy and daddy?" he asked with his eyebrow raised.

"I'm going to tell you all about it, but you need to be quiet and listen." She said softly. He nodded, sticking his thumb back in his mouth, and tightening his hold on her waist.

"Ok, well, once upon a time, mommy and daddy were best friends," She started. I knew exactly how she was going to tell the story. She was 8, she knew exactly how the story went, but she had always stuck to her version, and I couldn't help but love it. It was going to be interesting to see how my 4 year old son would take it. "Mommy was in love with him, and she wished that he would love her too."

"Did he?" EJ asked.

"Shhh…listen." Reneesme said with a roll of the eyes. "One day she was going to visit Mamma in the town of Forks with Papa. When she was packing up to leave, daddy came into her house."

"He had a key?"

"EJ!"

"Sorry…." He said. I chuckled as Reneesme got ready to continue.

"Anyway, she thought he was going to say hello. But instead he went to tell her that he was in love with someone else."

"But daddy loves mommy." EJ interrupted. Reneesme shot him a glare, and he shut up.

"Mommy knew that daddy always had different girlfriends, because he didn't know she was in love with him. Mommy says he was blind."

"How did he get fixed again?" EJ asked.

"You have to wait and see. Anyway, the woman he fell in love with was a big, mean witch called Alex. She had orange skin, and ugly black eyes, with white hair, and mole on her nose." Reneesme said with venom in her voice. I honestly didn't describe Alex like that, but when I first told this story, she was five, and she had a wild imagination when I tried to explain the beautiful tan blonde. She's hated Alex ever since, even though she never actually knew her.

"Daddy didn't know that he was actually under a spell, since he couldn't see Alex, because he was blind. So then Alex was super sneaky and took daddy away to get married. And since daddy was under a spell, the day of his wedding he said horrible things to mommy. So mommy ran away."

"Poor mommy." EJ sighed. "Daddy's stupid."

"Yeah, so then when she ran away to where the sun shines all the time, she met Prince Derek." She said with a grin. "He was handsome, and super nice. They spent lots of time together, and mommy fell in love with him, but she always actually loved Daddy." She said with a grin. "So one day, she decided to come visit aunty Alice, and grandma Esme, and Grandpa Carly, and uncle Em, and uncle Jazz, and aunty Rosie, and Mama Renee, and Papa Charlie." She said, counting them off on her fingers.

I had never told her about the baby that I had…that would be too much. I felt an ache in my chest as I thought about it.

"And when she got to their house, Daddy was there, and so was Alex. Derek and mommy were together and happy, so everyone was happy. Except daddy, he started becoming jealous of Derek. But he wanted to become friends with mommy. So he fixed things with mommy, and they were best friends."

"Then what?" EJ asked.

"Then one day, daddy realized that he loved mommy, and not Alex. And mommy realized she loved daddy, not Derek. So daddy kissed mommy and he became cured."

"What's cured?" Asked EJ.

"He wasn't blind anymore." Reneesme said.

"Oh….."

"Yep. So then daddy, after he realized he loved mommy, broke up with the evil witch Alex, and then they lived happily ever after, rode off into the sunset to eat ice cream, and then they had us." Reneesme said with a big smile. "The end."

"Yay!" EJ clapped. I laughed.

"Alright you two, time to sleep." I smiled.

"Mommy, can I sleep in Nessie's room today?" EJ asked. I smiled softly, and nodded. He never really liked to sleep alone. It was either with me and Edward, or with Reneesme.

"Thank you mommy."

"You're welcome." I bent over and kissed Reneesme's cheek, before kissing EJ's, brushing hair out of his eyes.

"Nighty, night." I said.

"We love you mommy." Reneesme replied with a yawn. I smiled before turning the light off, turning around.

As I turned, I was met by a pair of bright green eyes.

"Stories again?" he whispered. I nodded, walking over to him. He wrapped his arms around my waist, as I wrapped mine around his neck. "What did they say?" he asked.

"Well, Reneesme insists that Alex is a witch, and EJ thinks you were stupid and blind." I said with a grin. He sighed with mock distress.

"What shall I do now?" he asked playfully.

"I think there is one way to make them like you again." I whispered. He bent his head down so that his nose was touching mine.

"What's that?" he asked.

"I think you should kiss me." I whispered back. He smiled.

"I will happily oblige." And with that his lips were pressed to mine. Although familiar, something I could never quite get enough of.

Just when I was about to let his tongue past my lips, there were giggles in the background. I could feel Edward's lips curve up against mine as he pulled away. I laughed resting my head on his shoulders.

"Mommy and daddy, sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G." Reneesme sang. Edward laughed.

"Alright you two, time to go to sleep." Edward said. Reneesme giggled along with EJ but went back into the covers anyway. I blushed, this wasn't the first time we were caught by our children.

"I think we should get to bed ourselves…" I said while pulling on his tie. He raised his eyebrow.

"Oh really?"

"Yep." I smiled as he kissed my nose, wrapping his fingers around my own.

"Let's go." He whispered.

And with that, we fell asleep in each other's arms, our children down the hall, with the roof of the perfect home right above our heads.

Bed time stories were my favorite.

-:-

**Baseball with Daddy**

"Dad I can't do it!" EJ said once more. Edward put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"Yes you can." He said. "Look, Nessie can do it." Edward said.

"But I can't!" You can tell that EJ got his stubbornness from me.

"You haven't even tried." Edward contradicted.

"Yes I did!" EJ yelled.

"Alright, alright everyone relax. EJ, come here sweetie." He dropped the ball to the floor and stomped his way over. I ran my fingers through his hair.

"Sweetie, try to lighten up, your dad is only trying to help." I said. He was already about my height, and he was only eleven.

"Mom, I'm a batter not a pitcher." He said.

"I understand that sweetie, but you have to give it a try." I said. He huffed.

"Yeah, come on little man!" Emmett called from across the field. "I'll bat, let him pitch. I bet you he can't get past me." I widened my eyes at Emmet in a warning. He knew how EJ could get.

"I bet you I can!" EJ yelled back. Emmett snorted, humor in his eyes.

"Bet you, you can't." Emmett said. EJ growled, giving me a glance. I sighed, knowing nothing could stop my son now.

"Play nice." I warned. He threw me that smile, the one that looked like his father, the lopsided one that made him look like an exact copy of his father.

"I will mom." EJ said, kissing my cheek before stalking off to the pitching spot. Emmett laughed winking at Rosalie who was playing with her daughters. The two twins were the most troublesome doubles I'd seen in a long time. Emmett had no will power when it came to them. They were worse than Reneesme.

"Go EJ! Kick Emmett's butt!" Alice cheered. "Ow! Ow! My back!" She complained, leaning back as he overgrown belly caught her off balance. Jasper was at her side in an instant.

"Be careful, we don't want your water to break." He warned. Sometimes I think that boy is more like a mother than a husband. I chuckled.

"I got her Jasper." I said, placing a hand on Alice's back. He gave Alice another glance before running off to his position. "He cares way too much for you." I laughed. Alice chuckled with me.

"Oh please, Edward is way worse. Remember when you first got pregnant with Reneesme? Holy crap he was holding your hand even when you had to take a crap." She joked. I rolled my eyes, sticking my tongue out childishly at her.

Then I looked back at the game. Emmett was ready with a bat in his hands, wearing a helmet that looked too stupid to actually be taken seriously.

It was pink with flowers and five sizes too small. Something his daughters got him to wear. The blonde, blue eyed beauties looked nothing like him except for the dimples and curly hair, even then it was their mother's color.

"Come on EJ, what ya got?" Emmett teased. I could see EJ narrowing his eyes, as he put the ball to his chest. "Momma's boy, I can take you." Emmett continued.

Edward gave him a pointed look to which Emmett just ignored. I looked over at Reneesme and she was ready, just one more base to run to get to home. She had certainly grown, and I could barely believe how beautiful my 16 year old daughter was. She had her hands on her knees, her long legs smooth, showing the light muscles she was gaining from her dance classes. Her bronze hair, much like her father's color, was put up in a messy bun, her face shining with sweat and her brown orbs giving death glares at Emmett. She hated when they teased her brother. Though EJ could take care of himself.

Finally, after another teasing phrase from Emmett, EJ picked the ball up, throwing it with such ferocity that it took everyone, including Emmett, at least five seconds to realize he had thrown it, and it took only two seconds to realize where it had landed. Emmett dropped the bat, the metal clashing against the hard ground, as he groaned, his hands immediately going to cup the balls that were surely in throbbing pain at the moment. Everyone laughed as we watched Emmett in pain.

EJ was so happy with the result, laughing so hard that he didn't even notice his sister had ran to home, claiming Emmett's team as winners. Emmett just fell to the floor, still hurting.

I watched Edward run to his son's side, patting his back, and high fiving him.

"Good job EJ." Edward said, messing his hair up.

"Thanks dad." EJ said. I ran to EJ, wrapping him up in my arms as much as I could, and attacking him with kisses.

"What the hell are you teaching that child?!" Emmett asked, still strained. Edward just laughed.

"Ok mom." EJ complained once I had showered him with my kisses. I backed off, Reneesme coming over to give him a hug and kiss.

"Good job little bro." She said, ruffling his hair. He smiled.

"Nice run Reneesme." Edward said, kissing her forehead.

"Yeah, good job sweetie." I said, hugging her as well. She grinned, the hair falling to her eyes.

"Well, this has been great, but I have to meet Jacob back in an hour, so mom can you take me home?" She asked. Edward froze, along with Emmett and Jasper.

"Wait a minute. Repeat. Jacob? Where are you going with Jacob?" He asked in a serious tone. I wrapped my arms around his waist, looking him up with the best puppy eyes I could muster.

"Sweetie, it's Reneesme's first date." I pleaded. He narrowed his eyes, but finally sighed.

"Be back by seven." He said, pointing a finger at her. "And don't even think about letting him drive. Your mother will drive you." Edward said. I smiled, reaching up on my toes to kiss his lips.

"Ew." EJ whined. I laughed, pulling away.

"Actually Eddie, let me take care of the driving." Emmett said, cracking his fingers.

"No, no, no! Let me and Bella go, that way we can shop and she doesn't have to chaperone. We don't need you two ruining Reneesme's first date."Alice said, her voice taking authority.

"If he pulls a move you tell me." Edward said. He couldn't stand Jacob at all. The poor kid always tried to be kind, and smile at him, be polite, but Edward didn't like anyone who messed with his daughter.

"Yes daddy." She sighed, placing a kiss on his cheek. Edward smiled, as he pecked me quickly.

"Call me when you drop her off." He said. I nodded.

"I'll be back later EJ." I called over my shoulder. He grinned back.

"I'll just be playing baseball with dad."

-:-

**Well, I still got many things to post up such as the playlist and author's note and whatnot, but at the moment, I have a favor to ask. **

**So as you all know, 'Congratulations' isn't exactly very popular, and I would like to get more people to read it. Other than that, I've never won any contest. Though I feel guilty for asking this, I'll go out on a limb…..**

**Withthevampiresofcourse and some other person, lol, (can't remember the name right now) is holding a competition. Nominations are starting, and one of my readers was kind enough to nominate me, and if I get enough nominations, I will be in the competition, so it would be cool if you guys can nominate me too, ONLY IF YOU THINK THE STORY IS ACTUALLY GOOD ENOUGH FOR THAT, and only if you can or have time, or want to. That'd be great, but it's just for fun, nonetheless, I am content with your response, support, and patience, so I really honestly don't need the competition. Lol. But it would be a cool experience. Either way, thank you all for reading and sticking with me. And I really do love you all and appreciate it. If it weren't for you, "Congratulations" would remain an unsolved essay. **

**Love, Retro. **

**The catt (dot) net**. **(That's the website for the nominations.)**


	22. Playlist, Links, and Notes IMPORTANT

Alright, so I know you **hate** to read author's notes, and totally repel against them at times, for I myself ignore them, but I have some **explaining to do**.

So, Congratulations is **over** and as hard as it is to part, I must detach myself from this story, so take this as a **complete closure,** even though it's very hard for me to say **goodbye to you guys**. Lol. But, I do have to put the **playlist **up, which I will right now, and some **links to a translation** if any of you want to give it a go and read it in **Spanish**, (just in case that's your first language).

For starters, I want to **clear this up** as soon as possible, so here it goes. In my **last author's note**, for the '**Outtakes**' I think you guys took the whole **"Popularity"** thing a bit **more serious than intended**. I didn't mean it as **"Oh my god, I don't have enough reviews, you guys don't count, and I want more blah, blah, blah,"** so I'm sorry if that's the way you understood it. Please comprehend that **I'm grateful **for the fact that you guys even **pay attention to this story** at all, and **I'm blessed** with the fact that you guys **love** it. I love reading every single **review** and replying as much as possible to them. Most of you who actually review have gotten at least one reply from me, and I really don't know how else to **thank you**, because you have really done a lot. **All I can do is try to make Congratulations** **good enough to satisfy both you and myself.**

But about the **"popular"** thing, I meant as if **"I don't have thousands of favorites and alerts, and millions of reviews."** I **don't need to be popular to be happy with my story**, but like most people, I'm a **review-addict**, and I truly love getting feedback. I'm **happy that you guys review at all**, and that you've read the story and loved it. That's great, it really is. **700 reviews is A LOT**, and it means **A LOT** to me. So **don't take it the wrong way** when I said **"not exactly popular"**, I **didn't mean it to be so serious**, it was just a great way to start of the subject of the **contest**, and just a good way to explain that I wanted to **win a contest once**. Which I doubt I'll win. Lol.

That's another thing I want to **clear up**. I know I **doubt** myself a lot, but you have to understand that I can be a **very harsh critic**, and although I'm very lazy, and loose about most things, there are many times when I feel my **writing is shit**. Please, again, don't take this **offensively**. It's great that you guys think my story is awesome, but I honestly **don't like anything I write**, unless someone's **broken hearted**, or something fun like **"What Happens in Vegas",** which I'm still working on. I'm very **proud** of the result from this story, and I actually look back and like it, but towards the end, I just **doubt myself a lot**, and there are things that I wish I could have done maybe a bit **different**, but at the same time, I'm glad I did them. So as happy as I am with this story, I will have my **dislikes,** and **doubts, **so please **bear** with me, and **try not to get offended by anything I say**.

I don't want you guys to think of me as a **selfish brat**, which I'm **not saying you've ever called me**, but I mean it in **general**. I don't want to seem like all I want is **reviews**, but in all honesty, it was the response that kept **pushing this story.**

Anyway, this is starting to become a long author's note, so hopefully you can **understand**. On with the playlist.

-:-

**Playlist: **

-Most important, and theme song: Congratulations by Blue October

-Move along by All American Rejects.

-Cool by Gwen Steffani

-Into the Ocean by Blue October

-Straight Jacket feeling by All American Rejects

-You make me smile by Blue October

-It's not over by Secondhand Serenade

-Where would we be now by Good Charlotte

-Everlasting Friend by Blue October

-Look after you by the Fray

-Victims of love by Good Charlotte

-Lost by Michael Buble

-All we are by One Republic (newest version)

-You could be happy by Snow Patrol

-Fix you by Coldplay

-Mr. Brightside by the Killers

-Broken by Secondhand Serenade

-What if we could by Blue October

-Your call by Secondhand Serenade

-I dare you to move by Switchfoot

-I don't love you by My Chemical Romance

-Breathe me by Sia

-This is home by Switchfoot

-Naked as we Came by Iron and Wine

-Realize by Colbie Caillat

-Baby it's fact by Hellogoodbye (I knew I missed something! grr. lol)

-:-

**Poem by XxSacrificeXx**

I'm just laying here  
staring at the stars  
thinking about all that could have been  
all that wouldn't be  
all cause you fell in love with her  
you made me fall to my knees  
the night you told me you  
loved her and wanted to marry her  
the day you married her I ran away  
I cried for my loss but I would soon  
find my own love  
I'm just laying here  
thinking about the past  
years ago I came back to my home town  
I saw you and all my feelings rushed back  
But I was with child and soon-to-be-hubby  
I lied to my self and said I loved you not  
you told me you loved me but it couldn't  
be, cause you loved her  
that day I ran again and lost my child  
I ran back to the first place I left too  
Im just laying here  
thinking about my wedding  
Glad that you are here, just to talk too  
the wedding was hell  
Im just laying here  
waiting for you to show  
you told me to wait here  
if I ever changed my mind  
I do love you  
here you come  
Im just laying here  
with you at hand  
thinking about what will be

**I thought the poem was amazing, and very sweet of her to write it based on 'Congratulations' and for showing me. So thanks XxSacrificeXx. :)**

**Link to a Spanish translation of Congratulations by Laguna Negra:**

**www (dot) fanfiction**** (dot) net/s/4634635/1/Enhorabuena **

**Her translation is absolutley amazing, and I must say that I love the title Translation as well. It sounds so pretty lol. _Enhorabuena...lmao_**

**_-:-_**

Alright so basically, that's all I have to say…I have a feeling **I forgot something**, but nah.

Ok, so **thank you** all for reviewing, reading, and **loving the story**, and for just being there.

BUT-**Congratulations is OFFICIALLY OVER! **

HOORAH! Lol just kidding. But it **is **over. Lmao.

Anyway, I'm working on some **new projects**, but I **don't want to say them just yet** and get you excited just so that **I could quit them**, because I know how I am. Lol. If anything, I'm letting you know now, to **keep an eye out**, because I have a **story in mind**, so you might want to watch for that. But you can always **go on to reading What Happens in Vegas** if you want, because it's a **blast** to write, and a **total change** from the **angsty** Congratulations. :)

Does that sound like I'm **advertising** myself? Hm…oh well, it's just a suggestion. Lol. So again, **THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! **

**Love, Retro. **


	23. The forum, bum, bum, bum

**Hey guys**, I know. Long time no talk. My **lack on updates** has been very frequent and for that I apologize. But anyway, I've been** thinking** because I've had **this idea in my head** for a long time, because I do **like to talk to people**, and it'd be awesome to** talk to you guys**.

Anyway, my **proposition** is this, how would you guys like if I **opened** up a **forum** just for **fun** so that **everyone** can talk? Just in all our **randomness**, and we can just have some **chats**, share some **Robert Pattinson pictures**…lmao. Anywho, I understand if you guys think it's **stupid** seeing as there are millions of other **forums** out there, but it would be cool if I could have a chance to talk to all of you in a way that's not through **PM's** or **author's notes**, and it will make me feel more **normal** and **less guilty** for not updating.

Some of you might be like, **"Wtf? Why do I care? Do whatever the hell you want."** But I thought it'd be cool so that we could all **get to know each** **other** and just have a nice conversation and if you have any **questions** it'd be easier for me to **answer**.

Of course you **don't have to**, but if you do want to then all you have to do is say so, you can **vote on my poll**, or you can say **yes** through **reviews**, or **PM's,** whatever.

I know this sounds kind of **stupid**, and it's ok if you say so or think in such a way, just **please** don't be mean about it neither because I do tend to get extremely **defensive**. Lol.

Anywho, yeah…..I just thought it'd be a **cool** idea to **talk to all of you**, though I understand if **none of you care**. =)

**Thanks again.**

**Love**, **_Retro. _**


End file.
